He combed his fingers through her hair, her face tucked against his neck. They hadn’t solved anything out here by the ocean, but at least she wasn’t crying anymore.
He dropped his chin to rest against her head.
Damn it all to hell, what a time to understand her powerful connection to her dead husband. Because right now, Kyle knew he would find a way to make her love him, no matter how long it took.
Phoebe had to do something, anything.
The pure helplessness of waiting to see Nina home again safe and sound was eating her alive. Sitting cross-legged on her bed, she clicked through the keys on her laptop computer, surfing the Internet for anything she could find on child-custody battles. She needed to arm herself with as much knowledge as possible. Kyle, too, had his laptop out, but he’d set up on the patio outside her suite. Only a few more hours and they would pick up Nina.
Neither of them had strayed far from Nina’s room. Did he feel closer to their daughter here, too? She couldn’t even hazard a guess. Since they’d made such frantic love in his car, Kyle had completely shut down. He’d spent most of the night working at his computer, even after his family had returned. He’d surprised her when he’d climbed in bed with her at about two in the morning, making slower, more thorough love to her with his body, his mouth, his words, but said nothing about his own needs or pain. But being with him hadn’t distracted her from worrying about Nina as much as it had rocked her to the core.
She’d felt Kyle’s hurt for his daughter, the raw edge to his lovemaking. That shared connection had dissolved her defenses against him, leaving her open and so much more vulnerable than she’d ever imagined.
Then she’d woken alone. Gazing across the room to the open balcony door, she found him on the porch back at his computer. He’d pulled away again, and she didn’t know why. She could understand his frustration over losing full custody of his daughter, fears of the next judge’s hearing upsetting Nina’s world even more. But his retreat seemed motivated by more than that, since it had only grown deeper after they had made love.
She swung her feet to the floor and padded across to watch him through the open French doors. A light breeze fluttered the whispery curtain and lifted her hair, the air muggy after the night of rain.
What would Kyle do if she walked up behind him and massaged the tension out of those braced shoulders of his? Maybe it was worth the risk to find out. She stepped outside only to pull up short when she saw the deep furrows in his brow. “What’s wrong?”
“Take a look at this.” He turned his laptop screen toward her, displaying an image of Bianca at a beach party, dancing between two men, an umbrella drink held over her head. “Does that seem like Bianca was working to make a better life for her child? Check out the time stamp.”
Less than a week ago.
“There are more. Lots more. And not just drinking, but drugs and even a sex tape that, uh…” He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. He clicked the drop-down menu to save the latest Internet site, his jaw flexing but his eyes still flat and emotionless. “It appears she didn’t spend much time wasting away missing her child.”
The crowded party and cabana sure looked like it provided phone service, yet she’d never bothered to call. Phoebe pulled out a chair and sank down beside him. “Why didn’t the private investigator find these?”
“Most of them are from the past week. And I have some, uh, skills from my military intel days.” His fists clenched on the table, his wedding band glinting in the high-noon sun. “Damn it all, I should have been doing this myself from the start.”
“You’ve been doing everything you could to take care of Nina from the first moment you met her.” She slid her hand over his fist. “This is scary stuff. Thank goodness you found it now.”
He slipped his hand from under hers and clicked through more computer commands. “I need to do more. Time’s running out.”
“When do you leave to start your new job?” It seemed he’d already left emotionally now. The fragile common ground they’d just begun to share seemed to be slipping away as surely as the cresting waves pulled sand from the shore.
“I’ve pushed back all my meetings until we get things settled with Bianca. I meant that time is running out for Nina.”
“What if it takes a while to settle the custody issue?” A frightening possibility they both needed to face.
“It won’t,” he said curtly. “I won’t let it.”
She touched his wrist, trying again to break through the icy exterior that only cracked during sex. “Some things are beyond even the control of a mighty Landis.”
“The great thing about being a Landis is that we’re all equally as determined. I have a wealth of support when it comes to being there for Nina.”
“When it comes to your daughter, there’s no replacement for you.”
He turned suddenly-haunted eyes on her. “You think I don’t know that? I’ve already told the family I’m not taking the job heading up Landis International. I have options, and I intend to make the most of them.”
She was stunned at this abrupt shift in his life plan. “But surely you can just postpone it. You won’t be happy nailed down to one place, you’ve said so yourself. There has to be a better compromise. Let’s talk this out.”
“There’s nothing to discuss.”
She leaned closer, refusing to let him push her away. She’d fought for Nina and she would fight just as hard for him. “Kyle, damn it, you’re the one who keeps preaching to me about not shutting down, about coming back to life.”
Something smoked through his eyes and for a moment she thought she might have truly gotten through to him. Then his beautiful blue eyes iced over again.
He shoved his seat away, iron grating across stone tiles. “This isn’t about me. We’re in the middle of a custody battle. Unless we work together, presenting a unified front in our marriage long-term, we could well lose Nina for good.” He closed his laptop and stood. “We should get moving so we’re not late picking up Nina.”
He left her sitting on the porch alone and confused. As she sat, stunned at the loss of lighthearted Kyle with his bolstering one-sided smiles, his words trickled through, about staying a married couple long-term.
Finally he’d committed to staying together, yet she’d never felt farther apart from him.
Eleven
Sitting in an antique rocker in the living room, Phoebe cradled Nina in her arms even though the baby had gone to sleep at least fifteen minutes ago. She hadn’t been able to let her out of her sight since they’d picked her up yesterday. The room was silent but for the rustling of her mother-in-law at the coffee table, pulling Thanksgiving decorations from a plastic storage bin.Phoebe couldn’t help but be warmed by the lack of pretension in such a powerful world figure. Wearing a lightweight orange sweater set—and blue jeans—Ginger Landis Renshaw could have been any other grandmother preparing for the holidays with her family. What would it have been like to have such a woman to turn to after Roger had died? Or when she’d been wrestling with what to do after Bianca had disappeared?
Kyle was sequestered with his brother. Maybe he would find some comfort and reason there since Sebastian would understand the pain after having lost his adopted daughter. Heaven knew Kyle still wasn’t listening to her. His emotional retreat from her stung more than she could have ever imagined a few weeks ago. How had she opened herself to so much pain again?
Phoebe rested her cheek against Nina’s head and inhaled the sweet scent of baby shampoo, watching her mother-in-law lift out a brass cornucopia. “That’s a beautiful piece.”
Ginger glanced over her shoulder with a smile before placing the horn of plenty on the mantel. “It belonged to my first husband’s grandmother. She loved the holidays. She also gave me the most exquisite family Nativity, a magnificent collector’s piece. It’s in a museum now, but I had a replica made for my grandchildren to enjoy.”
“How lovely to have such long-living traditions in your family.” She glanced down at the wedding ring Kyle had placed on her finger, over the spot that had once worn Roger’s simpler gold band. “Forgive me if this is too personal, but did your husband—the general—ever have a problem being reminded of your first marriage?”
Ginger turned slowly and leaned back against the cool hearth. “Hank and I have been friends for years, back when we were both married to other people. I helped him with his children after his wife died. He helped me after I lost Benjamin. This love we’ve found came later and certainly surprised us both, pleasantly so.”
“No jealousy then?”
“None. That doesn’t mean we got over losing a spouse quickly. When I say it took us a long time to find each other, I mean a very long time. Years. Yet here we are, blending our Nativity scenes and families.” She patted Nina’s diapered bottom. “I look forward to setting up the crèche with my granddaughter someday.”
“Make sure you take pictures, lots and lots of them.” In case Phoebe wasn’t a part of her day-to-day life anymore. Regardless of Kyle’s talk of working together, she didn’t have faith in the long-term hope for their relationship.
“I have photos in the album of my boys setting up the Nativity with their grandmother. In fact…” She leaned into the container, sifting through padded ornament holders. “I believe the replica ended up in here with the Thanksgiving decorations.”
Ginger straightened, holding a velvet bag in her hands. “Here we go.” She sat on the edge of the sofa and began withdrawing the wrapped pieces. “Matthew and Kyle used to argue every year over where to put the Wise Men. Matthew is such a traditionalist like his father. He wanted them right there in the manger. Kyle, however, pointed out that the Wise Men really didn’t show up until two years later, so they should be positioned somewhere outside the manger.”
Phoebe rocked Nina, eyeing the trio of porcelain figures and envisioning a young Kyle dreaming of the Wise Men’s world travels. The reproduction of the antique crèche still looked vintage, with an Old World style to the rich-hued paints.
Ginger cupped a camel in her hand. “Every year, my little smart-aleck son would cradle those three porcelain antiques and shake his head, saying, ‘Two years, for Pete’s sake. That makes ’em the three wise slackers, if you ask me.’”
“That certainly sounds like Kyle.” At least the Kyle she’d known a week ago. Would Nina have his sense of humor, as well as his smile? Would they see that humor again?
Ginger placed the camel behind the three kings. “He always has joked to cover when he’s uncomfortable with emotions. His father being gone so much bothered him deeply, but Kyle always shrugged it off as if it didn’t matter.”
Could he be shutting down as a different defense mechanism against uncomfortable—hell, painful—emotions? He was all action, without a doubt, and she’d learned long ago men sometimes overcompensate with actions at the expense of words and feelings. “Kyle turned down the job with Landis International.”