Suddenly, she remembered that those were the lyrics to one of his hit songs. A song about heartbreak, despair and destruction. His music had always been so poignant yet strangely comforting. Because somehow, knowing that someone out there understood your pain and sang about it, made it seem like you were not alone.
Kate felt the loneliest she’d ever been though, as the driver took her farther away from Gage. It was three a.m. when she finally let herself into her apartment. She peeled out of her clothes and padded into the bathroom, knowing a warm shower would help her sleep after such an eventful night. The concert, the backstage meet and greet, and finally the after party at the hotel bar and then up in Gage’s room. She thought of Gage’s stirring words of desire…I want you to stay. I want your heat, your passion…
Kate shuddered beneath the warm spray, hugging her arms about her frame as she felt tears sting and mingle with the cascade falling down her face.
* * *
Now, weeks later, Kate was faced with even more of a dilemma. She arrived at work to be told by her boss that there was “good news”.
The article had been a success; that much Kate knew. It had felt anti-climatic when the issue had come out a week ago to rave reviews about her Gage Stevens feature. Her employers for one had been thrilled by the outcome.
“You wrote with such heart,” said Ursula, the editor-in-chief. “I could feel you two’s connection in every line. I’m glad now we took the decision to give you the interview. You showed more spunk and vibrancy in this one article than in all your other writing for this magazine combined. Which is the basis of why you’re getting this next assignment.”
“What assignment?” Kate asked, already dreading what was coming. Turned out her every misgiving was correct.
Now they wanted to force her into yet another awkward situation. She was to travel on tour with Gage, documenting the experience.
Kate’s first, spurring instinct was to refuse the task – an option she knew she dared not attempt. For one thing, Ursula was taking the Gage Stevens matter very seriously – so seriously, that she was asking Kate to drop every other project and focus on getting ready for the tour commencing in a week’s time.
“I’ve talked to Gage Stevens’ people and they’re totally down with the whole thing. They loved the article you did on their client and fully intend to give you – and in essence, our magazine, plenty of exclusive scoops. You can’t mess this up, Kate.”
“The thing is…well, for personal reasons, I…”
Ursula held her gaze shrewdly. “I think I know where you’re going Kate. I must ask you though how much you value your career.”
Ursula sighed deeply. “For months now, we haven’t really been impressed with your productivity. This might be your big chance to finally prove yourself. Don’t blow it. Or else I’m afraid there might no longer be a place for you at Stardom. Just think of it as an exciting adventure that will be over before you even know it. This is a very competitive and unforgiving industry, Kate. You really don’t want to be messing up this far into your career. You understand that you have to do whatever it takes to make this Gage Stevens project a success?”
“Yes, I understand,” Kate said, and it was like tumbling into a fish net. Whatever it takes…she understood that phrase quite well but had never had to actually be subjected to obeying it. Looked like she was about to face even more work-related as well as emotional challenges.
Most tormenting of all was the thought of having to face Gage again considering how much he occupied her every free thought. In her dreams, he made love to her and brought her to a passionate surrender. His supple, beautiful guitarist’s hands played her fleshly strings with delicate ferocity.
All her past memories of lying in his arms had intensified to sense-numbing clarity now that the years had turned full circle. How would she be able to stand being close to him in the next several weeks? Show after show, groupie galore, the drinking, the partying, and the wild sex? Kate knew all about such goings on, had glimpsed a fraction of such that one night when she’d met Gage again. And now she was going to have to go over it one more time….
* * *
If this is a dream, don’t freaking wake me up.
Gage knew he was staring but for the life of him he couldn’t look away.
Kate, in a skirt. Her long, stocking-clad legs elegantly stepping out of the limo that had picked her up and brought her to meet them where the tour bus was waiting.
In broad daylight, her creamy complexion and dazzling red hair made her look stunning.
Like a perfect cover model. Gage had dated them all: movie stars, Victoria Secret Angels, and international beauty queens. But Kate stood out for her lushness; her obvious cluelessness of what a package she brought to the table.
He was surprised to see she made it. He’d been so sure she’d refuse to do the assignment. Why would she want to be holed up with him and his entourage for the next one month of touring six cities? She wasn’t that much of a rock fan he knew – and she was certainly no fan of his, he thought wryly.
Obviously, her employers were very persuasive to make her want to spend any more time around him.
Gage however knew that though she could act like it was just his imagination, there was still that spark between them. It wasn’t something that could be wished away no matter how hard he tried. And God help him, how he’d tried. He didn’t want to want this woman. She infuriated him with the way she seemed to look down her nose at him even now, when he was worth more money than he knew how to spend.
She had a tentative smile on her face as she walked up to him, and he drew in a calming breath. He was done feeling mad over Kate Preston.
Sure, she’d dumped him in cold blood and never looked back. He could still remember how bad it used to be. Back in those days when he and his former band had tried to make demo EPs that would hopefully catch a label’s attention. When they’d spent nights opening for other bands, sleeping on the floor of tour buses of the main acts and just doing anything to get themselves out there. Gage could never forget having to cook food off a gas grill while in an empty warehouse and not being bothered because well, he was too much of a lifer. He couldn’t let anything bring him down – even though each night had him groaning silently in pain at the thought that he’d lost Kate and that she’d never even cared.
After Kate had left him it had been really ghastly for a few weeks. He’d felt the pain like shrapnel permanently lodged in his heart. But that agony had soon spurred his creative juices and one night, half-drunk and unable to sleep, he’d started writing. And didn’t stop till forty-eight hours of no sleep and food had passed.
A week later, a couple of those written songs were performed at one of the house gigs his band usually played at.
Somehow, a video of it got put on YouTube. Next thing Gage knew, he was getting a call from Theo Banks, who co-owned Bankable Records. He told Gage someone had referred him to the video of their performance and he’d like to meet Gage. Just Gage, not the band.
It all seemed like part of a fairytale now. Gage could never forget how it had felt, finally finding out that Banks wanted to sign him on, only him, as a solo act. When Theo discovered that Gage had written all the songs, he was sincerely impressed. He promised to set Gage up with a carefully selected band set of his own. But he had to break off from his group, make a fresh start.
Gage had had to fight down the guilt for having to let go of his old band. After all, they were his best friends, his brothers. But even the group had known that artistically, they’d reached their collective dead-end. They finally agreed to split up and find their own way, and from what Gage later heard of them, a few had gone on to form other bands and one or two had thriving solo careers in the indie circles.
In the end, Gage’s decision to go solo paid off. He recorded the album and in less than a year it was certified gold; had topped every list and spawned a few imitators that still hadn’t managed to reach even his waist level of success and quality after five years in the business.
Music critics had called that first album a game changer that could be considered a soundtrack not just for the indie rock set but for the other music genres linked to punk, metal or classic rock.
Nothing could compare to being respected for his art, which Gage took very seriously. He’d been able to prove to himself that his dream had been worthwhile after all. He’d also shown his parents and all those who’d doubted him – including Kate – how far one could go if you just kept faith.
Meeting Kate’s guarded expression, Gage now wondered what it was about her that still drew him, after so long.
That night of his last show had been eye opening. Asking her to stay, to give him her body and take them back in time to when it had all felt like magic…Gage knew he must have been crazy. And yet he’d wanted her so bad it had made him almost forget what she’d done to him. Almost.
Deciding to pick on her cue, he strapped on a charming grin that made her blink in the sunlight that burst behind him.
“Kate. Ready to road trip?”
“Yeah, I guess. Live hard, rock on and all that,” she muttered, that fixed smile still on her face.
As she strode past him to speak to a few of the roadies who were loading up the bus, Gage got a whiff of her perfume.
It almost had him staggering on his feet and he felt like he needed to sit down for a moment. Fuck, fuck, and fuck! How could she still do that to him? How could just her scent make his dick so hard it could rip a hole in his pants?
He shoved a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth. There was nothing for it. This demon inside him had to be exorcised. It was obvious that he and Kate Preston had a lot of unfinished business, and there was only one way to get her finally out of his system.
Come hell or high water, Gage decided; he was going to get his becoming ex into his bed and it wouldn’t be too soon. And hopefully then, he’d be free of this fixation he had with the one woman who’d ever made him bleed…
* * *
Kate was far more comfortable with her conservative side – the one she let out for the public. She knew that people generally thought her uptight, but she wasn’t really. However, even she knew that for this assignment, she’d need a total wardrobe upheaval. Even if it was for just a few weeks touring with Gage in six major cities, she certainly wanted to look the part and not stick out like a sore thumb.
Being a magazine journalist meant she was used to working behind the scenes, so to speak. She’d only just started reporting in the music and entertainment section, and after that night of Gage’s last gig, she was being thrust into the limelight in the most unexpected way. Now she was getting a bird’s eye view of fame and what it took to live the rock star life on the road and then, getting to witness the glory on the stage.
Every show brought a different story. She watched Gage perform and each night she was treated to the brooding masterpiece that was his music. She caught glimpses of him she didn’t expect.
When he wanted to, he could play the demanding rock star with his perplexing requests required for each venue they arrived at during his tour. He had to have this and that, to be done this or that way. His “rider” or contract included requests that, Kate had to admit, didn’t seem too bizarre compared to other rockers out there in the same industry. True, Gage liked to have particular wines and liquor available, from bottles of Californian Merlot or an Italian Borolo in terms of red wine, and Chardonnay or European Pinot Blanc for white. For his liquor, his rider stated that it had to be Chivas Regal, Stolichnaya vodka or Martell Cordon Bleu cognac.