He looked at her. “What?”
“It’s Fin.”
Ryan’s brows drew together. “What about Fin?”
“She’s on her way here.” Julie checked her watch before meeting his eyes. “She should have been here by now.”
“She knows I’m leaving today?”
Mike nodded. “She does now. Julie spoke to her just after we arrived and told her.”
Julie already had her phone out and dialling as Mike spoke. “She told me she was already on her way to see you when I rang.”
God. He needed to see her, bury his head in her hair and breathe her in. Nothing had ever soothed him and at the same time set him on fire the way she did.
“She’s not answering,” Julie told them after leaving a message.
The flight announcement came again. All around him, family clung to their loved ones and tears were wiped away.
“I can’t …” Ryan turned to face the both of them. “I have to go.”
Once again he was wrapped in warm hugs. “I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her …” His chest tightened until he could barely speak.
Julie gripped his hand firmly and squeezed. “It’s okay, Ryan. I’ll tell her.”
He looked to Mike and lifted his chin. “Sir.”
Mike nodded. “Son.”
With one last search over the crowds, Ryan turned and strode towards his troop. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught Julie, her face buried in Mike’s chest, her shoulders shaking. His eyes burned as he kept walking, disappearing from their view.
Chatter was loud and boisterous, emotions running hot and high as the long line of soldiers congregated on the tarmac. Monty stood in front of Ryan and Kyle stood behind him, where Jake would normally stand, talking the loudest of all.
Pressing his lips together, Ryan closed his eyes and Fin filled his vision.
“Come here.” Ryan ran his hand over her bare hip and the curve of her ass as she tucked herself against him. “Kiss me, baby.”
When her lips met his, he rolled her over, pressing her into the bed and kissing her so deeply it made him breathless. Fin’s hands circled the hard length of him, stroking him firmly and he groaned into her mouth.
“Ryan,” she breathed against his lips.
Ryan buried his head in her neck, growling deeply as he rocked himself slowly in her hands. Slowly, Ryan tasted her skin, inching his way down her body until he reached where his name was etched so beautifully into her skin. He traced over the mark with his tongue.
Fin giggled softly. “If you keep doing that, it’ll wear away.”
Ryan looked up at her from beneath his lashes to catch the smile on her face. “I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon.”
“…shoot any straighter, Kendall?”
Ryan turned to face a smirking Kyle. “Huh?”
“Jesus.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “I said,” he enunciated loudly, grinning, “do you think that letting your hair grow any longer is gonna make you shoot any straighter?”
Ryan ran a hand over the back of his head. He’d loved feeling Fin’s hands pulling and tugging at his hair when he was buried between her thighs—the harder she pulled, the hotter he got.
“Fuck you, Brooks,” he retorted. “You couldn’t lift a rifle past that fat gut of yours and hit a goddamn elephant standing two metres away.”
“Oh my God, you think I’m... fat?” Kyle widened his eyes in mock horror, splaying a hand over the well-defined muscles of his abdomen. “It’s the army fatigues isn’t it?” He twisted his head, looking down over his shoulder as though trying to check out his own ass. “They make me look podgy.”
“Fuck podgy,” Galloway called out. “You look like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, only greener.”
“And dumber,” Tex added, laughing as he shuffled forward in the line, in step with everyone else.
Ryan tuned the banter out and took one final, searching look towards the airport windows for Fin.
Not seeing her, he turned back and following behind Monty, stepped up and onto the plane.
Chapter Nineteen
With her heart racing, Fin pulled quickly into the parking lot at Base Pearce and parked the car at a wild angle. Yanking her keys out, she grabbed her bag and flung the car door open. Toeing off her heels, she tossed them at the passenger seat and with a slam of the door, ran towards the entrance. Elbowing her way through the crowd, Fin made it towards the large windows in time to see the plane taxi down the runway and lift off into the sky.
“No,” she moaned breathlessly.
Dropping her bag, she pressed both hands against the glass as she watched Ryan disappear until there was nothing left to see but bright blue sky and fluffy clouds. She hadn’t made it. Closing her eyes, Fin rested her forehead against the glass, her breath puffing softly against the gleaming window. She would be holding this baby in her arms before he even returned. Ryan would never run his hands over her pregnant belly with love; he would never feel the joy of their baby’s first kick or see their baby born into the world. She wouldn’t be sharing any of it with him.
Goddamn you, Ryan. Anger cut a deep slash through the hurt, leaving her breathless. You talk about how other countries depend on people like you to fight in their corner, but what about me? I need you too.
“Fin!”
Fin spun around at the sound of her mother’s voice. Her parents were pushing their way towards her through the current of people beginning their slow exit of the building. She lifted her chin. “He’s gone.”
Her father nodded gravely.
“Well then.” Grabbing her bag from its abandoned spot on the floor, she jerked it over her shoulder. “No point in hanging around is there.”
“Finlay.” Her mother placed a hand on her arm.
Fin halted at the gentle touch, fighting to hold onto the anger that was helping keep her shit together. “Don’t, Mum. I’m fine. I need to get back to work.”
“We spoke to him before he left,” her mother said.
“Oh how nice,” she replied icily. “I don’t even get a phone call when he’s leaving, but you two get time to see him and wave him off. Did he look happy?” Her father frowned, his mouth open to reply. “Don’t answer that. I bet he did. I bet you couldn’t wipe the smile from his face at the thought of f**king off back to war, the only place he’s ever wanted to be.” Her mum reached for her again, but Fin slapped her hand away, feeling the cracks forming in her heart. “I hate him,” she hissed. With tears blurring her vision, she looked at her mum and dad in turn. “I f**king hate him and I don’t want to ever hear his name again.”
Spinning on bare feet, Fin strode blindly towards the entrance of the airport and out into the midday heat. What had she been thinking chasing after him like that anyway? Obviously she hadn’t been. Ryan had more important things to focus on than waving goodbye to someone he didn’t want anymore.
Fin growled audibly as she beeped the locks on her car, hating herself just as much for the useless pity party she was getting swept away in.
“Finlay,” her father called out, his voice firm and loud.
Fin spun around, seeing him stalk towards her. “What?” she replied tersely.
“Don’t you take that tone with me, miss. I know you’re upset but—”
“Upset? I’m more than upset!” she yelled, cutting him off as she rummaged through her bag. Finding the photo that had been tucked so carefully in her purse, she ripped it out and thrust it at him.
He took it, frowning at her before looking down at the photo. Her chest rose and fell rapidly while she waited for her father to speak, her body growing tenser by the second.
“That sonofabitch,” he eventually growled, his nostrils flaring wide as comprehension dawned in his eyes. Peeling his eyes from the photo, they flickered to her belly before lifting to her face. “He ended a relationship with my daughter when she’s having his baby? I had nothing but respect and love for that boy, but this …” Her father started to crumple the photo in his hand, cursing loudly.
“Dad! That wasn’t how it happened.”
He pointed at her, fire in his eyes. “You’re defending him now? He has a lot to goddamn answer for.”
Seeing her father’s anger made her own deflate. She didn’t like seeing him assume the worst. Not of Ryan. “He didn’t know, Dad. I didn’t know, not until this morning. I tried to get here in time to tell him, but I was too late.”
“Shit.” Her father rubbed his jaw, expelling a heavy sigh as his shoulders slumped. “I hear you, love. I shouldn’t have thought the worst. It’s just … you’re my little girl.”
“Well I won’t be little for much longer,” she tried to joke but her heart wasn’t in it.
He pulled her close for a hug. “You’ll always be my little girl.”
Fin took a deep breath. “Thanks, Dad.”
“It’s going to be hard for both of you, being apart for this.”
“I know. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to tell him about the baby right now.”
Letting go, he looked down at her, his expression stern. “You need to tell him.”
Fin leaned up against the car and looked at her dad. “Do you remember the day I found that dead bird in the yard?”
She’d been almost ten when she’d stumbled upon the pretty rosella, its colourful feathers fluttering wildly across the lawn and into the sky. Seeing something so carefree and beautiful so sad and lifeless was the first time she’d ever felt a crack in her heart. Hearing a noise, Fin had spun around and shielding her eyes against the sun, looked up. Slingshot in hand, she caught Jake slamming his window shut.
“Remember how I shouted for you and you came out and took care of it?”
She’d watched for a brief moment—her wounded heart satisfied her father was doing the right thing when he cradled the bird gently in his hand—before storming inside and up the stairs.
Reaching Jake’s room, she’d flung open the door. Both Jake and Ryan jerked as it banged loudly against the wall.
“How could you?” she shrieked at Jake, balling her small fists with fury. “That little bird did nothing to you, you big stupid jerk!”
Jake paled. She’d never seen him so pale, and it threw her anger off course. Pushing his way past her and out of his room, she heard the bathroom door slam. When the muffled sound of retching filtered down the hall, Fin met Ryan’s eyes.
“What’s going on in here?” her father said, the sharp tone of warning evident in his voice.
“Mike.” Ryan swallowed visibly and grabbed the slingshot off the desk. “Sir. I was just uh … I didn’t really think I’d hit it, the bird that is. I’m s-sorry.”
Ryan flinched when her dad strode into the room and held out his hand, indicating for Ryan to give him the slingshot. At the time, she didn’t understand the flinch, or the fear in Ryan’s dark eyes, but looking back now made it clear.