“It would be if you knew him... Alright, I’ll give you a better secret.” He paused, thinking about it for a moment. Suddenly, his eyes lowered, shame crossing his face. “When I was fourteen, I stole a car,” he said. He smiled when I raised my eyebrows at him. “My father and I were at the country club and we were arguing. I wanted to get away from him so badly I stole a car from the valet.”
“What happened after that?” I asked, intrigued.
“I crashed it. Four blocks away I ran it into a lamp post. My father was furious, but instead of punishing me or turning me in to the police, he paid the owner of the car and made the whole thing disappear. To this day we still haven’t spoken about it,” he said. He picked up his water glass and took a sip, his eyes watching me to see what I was going to say.
“So you’re a car thief? And you didn’t get in any trouble? Why didn’t he make you pay for the car?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Because, to my father, the image of the perfect son was what he wanted. The car didn’t fit with that image, so he made it disappear. I wish my father had made me pay for it or had me experience some sort of punishment, but he didn’t. He used his money to make everything all better. It’s the story of my life with him,” he said. He seemed surprised at his own words. His eyes lifted back up, piercing into me. “Your turn.”
I thought for a moment. “It’s no stealing a car, but it’s something I don’t tell anyone. Ever.” I frowned. This wasn't something I enjoyed telling people. I knew I could tell Jack though. It was like we had no secrets between us and I could tell him anything without fear. I knew instinctively that he would never laugh at me or judge me the way everyone else in my life did. There was a sense of safety I had never felt with anyone else that made me want to tell him everything about me. “I was bulimic in high school. Everyone thought I looked great, and it was so hard to stop when I finally had people asking if I had lost weight.”
“Why did you stop?”
“My dad is a dentist. He saw the acid damage on my teeth and told my mom. They never looked at me quite the same again after that,” I said, my voice cracking. I tried to hide it with a sip of water. “I still struggle with it, you know? My mom and sister are these perfect thin stick people, and I'm not. I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like the way my clothes fit, but no matter what I do, it isn’t enough. I know that people look at me and the extra weight is all they see. I lost boyfriend because of it. He said he didn't want to be with a 'fat chick'. I am terrified that I am going to end up alone because of it.” I was shaking a little by the time I stopped talking.
“I don’t see how that is possible. Your boyfriend was an idiot. You are beautiful,” Jack said, his eyes catching mine. He made sure I could see the truth in them as he continued. “I would date you if I met you in real life.” His face held a heat that made my insides start to tingle. My heart skipped a beat and I could feel my knees spread under the table. He thought I was beautiful.
“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“I mean every word.”
“No one has ever called me beautiful. Other than my dad, but that doesn’t count.”
“Then they are all idiots. Except your dad, because you are beautiful.”
His eyes glowed caramel in the candlelight, full of honest appreciation. The heat in his eyes told me that he found me more than beautiful.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked quickly, changing the subject. The blush on my cheeks was threatening to light the table on fire.
“Spiders,” he answered nonchalantly.
“Spiders. That doesn’t count,” I said, giggling. He smiled at me and shrugged as though he were trying to take off an invisible weight.
“I’m afraid I will end up alone, but in a different way. I don’t have any real friends, at least none outside my work. I’m so busy with my job that I don’t have time to make connections and the ones I do make are tainted by business. I feel like life is passing me by. I’m surrounded by people, but I hardly know any of them and I feel like I can’t get to know them.” He peered into his water glass, sliding the liquid back and forth. “I’m afraid I’m going to miss days like today.”
His hand reached out and touched mine. A spark of desire, want, and need jumped between us. I was sure the tablecloth was going to explode with the current passing between us. He leaned forward, his perfect lips coming closer. I leaned closer, wanting to taste them. The table grew smaller.
At that moment the waitress returned with our meals. The spell we had woven with our secrets was broken. Jack ordered some wine and we settled into our food, our conversation drifting back to mundane topics. We still laughed and conversed easily, but the magic of secret sharing was lost.
We ordered dessert and I was surprised by how easily our conversation continued to flow. I could feel the wine making me laugh more than usual, but it had never been this easy to talk to a guy... ever,... even with much more alcohol than a bottle of wine. I found my hand drifting towards his on multiple occasions, but I kept my fingers to myself. I wanted to touch him and make sure he was real, but I didn't want to scare him away. I wanted to do so much more than just touch him.
The waitress came and refilled our wine glasses several times, but I barely noticed. The wine was delicious, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Jack — the way the candle lit up his eyes, the way he brushed his hand through his hair when he was thinking, the way he looked at me, and how I found myself telling him things I had never told another living soul. Before I knew it, we were the only ones left in the restaurant.
“Would you like to come back to my place?” I blurted out, the wine making me bold. I held in a nervous giggle, but I was sure I looked ridiculous. I certainly felt ridiculous; there was no way a man as handsome, charming, and wealthy as Jack would ever come back with me to my room. Things like that don’t happen to me. Men don’t look at me like that.
“I thought you would never ask,” he said with a pleased smile. I couldn’t believe my luck. I stood up slowly and tucked the chair neatly into the table. Jack offered me his elbow, and together we sauntered out of the restaurant and back towards the beach.
We walked up the beach, the moon shining down like a giant spotlight. White tipped waves shushed the darkness as we approached. I had never seen so many stars in the sky; they seemed to go on forever. I wished the walk was longer so I could hold on to the moment and keep it in my mind forever. Everything was perfect. The ocean was perfect. The man holding my arm like a gentleman was perfect. The evening had been perfect and I was terrified that it was all going to end the moment I stepped on my porch.
Chapter 4
The porch creaked slightly as I stepped up and unlocked the door. I could feel him move in behind me, resting his weight on an arm against the door frame. I turned slowly, captured against the door and his body. His masculine scent made my knees feel weak, and my throat felt dry as he leaned over me, his eyes searching mine. His expression was intense, almost threatening; I looked up into those hazel eyes, the moonlight making them shine with something I wanted. Desire. He wanted me. The thought alone made me shiver with anticipation, as he brought his hand to my neck and pulled my lips towards his.
His mouth was hot against mine, his tongue probing gently at my lips, asking to taste me. I opened my mouth and he shifted his weight to kiss me fully. He explored me in a slow and thorough manner before pulling back. His eyes gleamed with an aching hunger that held me captive. I wanted him more than anything.
He pushed me back until I bumped against the door. His mouth skimmed my jaw, down to my throat, his teeth grazing my skin and his five-o-clock shadow scratching gently. He pressed a thigh between my legs, sending heat through my belly and then south. I whimpered for more, the noise low in my throat.
“You want to invite me in?” he whispered in my ear. Goosebumps ran down my arms, but not from cold.
“Why? Are you a vampire?” I asked with a wry smile.
He didn’t answer but instead kissed me again, drawing me to him like a magnet. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled on my waist, guiding me through the open door. He released me and I felt woozy on my feet from his kisses. The door thudded softly shut and I licked my lips.
He was perfect in the moonlight. His shoulders were broad, tapering into a tight waist and an ass that my fingers itched to squeeze. The darkness and the wine made me bold, my desire growing by the minute. His eyes caught mine and he smiled, knowing that I was checking him out. Those eyes turned up the flame growing in my belly, now spreading north and south, filling my core with need. The sexual tension wrapped around us like taut guitar strings, filling the room with vibrating desire.
His hands grabbed my h*ps again, pulling me into him with strong fingers. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, tangling my fingers in his hair as we stumbled towards the bedroom. A part of me told me that I should stop, that I should think this through, but the other voices in my head quickly drowned her out; I wanted him more than I wanted to breathe.
Before we got to the bed, he ran his fingertips up my sides, his touches reading the curves of my body. His eyes were locked with mine, and the smoldering flame within them silenced even that last voice that resisted him. We held this position, and the intensity of the moment made it stretch out for what seemed like an eternity. Then, as if on cue, we both went in for another kiss.
As our tongues locked, I felt my body surrender to him. I wanted him, and I would do anything to have him. I felt like we were on our own little island, marooned in our own little shack, and nothing else that went on around us mattered. His hands went back down to my hips, and his fingers began to pull upward, bunching my sundress up. With every stroke of his finger against my hip, I felt shivers up my spine. His hands shifted further behind me, and as the bottom of my dress reached his fingers, I felt him lightly touch my ass.
My own hands went to his chest, his white t-shirt the only thing between me and those solid pectorals of his. I pulled at the shirt, and as his arms flew upward I could feel the hem of my dress fall back down. I sheepishly laughed, but as he threw his shirt on the floor, I got my first look at that muscular chest of his. My hands went to it, my palms rubbing against the muscles, feeling him. I came back in for another kiss.
In a moment, I found myself lifted up, and I squealed in delight. His hands had found their way back to my bottom, and like a caveman, he threw me over his shoulder. I had never had a man do this to me, and I lightly slapped his back, as if I could offer any resistance at this point. In another moment, I found myself falling towards the bed where I wanted to be.
He stood over me as I lay on the bed, knees bent, my dress hiking up towards my thighs. He took a foot in his hand, kissing it gingerly. Immediately, I felt self-conscious. What if he noticed how big my feet were? I drew back, but with a firm grasp, he yanked my foot back, going back to his tender kisses. As soon as he pulled, he had let me know who was in charge now, and I surrendered.
His kisses moved up my calf, bringing me closer to the edge of the bed, closer to the edge of bliss. I knew his destination, so I closed my eyes and let it happen. I felt his kisses move up, slowly, deliberately, driving me crazy.