I want a baby.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Hey! What’s wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost! Ah shit, are you still feeling sick?” Ari asked as she turned Luke away from me.
I felt almost a hundred percent better since I had been staying at Josh’s parents’ house.
I let out a laugh. “No, I feel fine. I think it was just a stomach bug.” I ran up the steps and took Luke from Ari. “Hey there, my little man! Oh my gosh, you get bigger every time I see you!”
Luke giggled, and then he was trying like hell to get out of my arms.
“Yeah, he just wants to crawl everywhere now,” Ari said as we walked into the house.
I smiled as I looked at Ellie. She was holding Alex, and I’d never seen her look so happy in my life.
“Hey, Ells. How’s motherhood treating you, sweets?”
Ellie smiled even bigger. “It’s amazing…beyond amazing. I’m just ready to have sex though.”
“Oh. My. God. TMI, Ells,” I said as I shook my head.
I put Luke down and watched him take off. I smiled as soon as I heard Susan calling out for me to get in the kitchen and give her a hug. I walked into the kitchen, and when I stepped in, I found myself wrapped up in Sue’s embrace. She pushed me back and gave me a once-over. I smiled as she tilted her head.
“What? What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. You just seem…different,” she said with a wink.
“Well, Jesus H. Christ, Mom. The love of her life doesn’t remember her, she left her job to keep a crazy bitch from getting her claws into said love, and she hasn’t been feeling good. Way to bust her self-esteem,” Ari said as she grabbed a jar of baby food out of her bag.
“You’re not feeling good? What’s wrong?” Sue asked as she picked up Luke and put him in his high chair.
I stood there and watched the whole scene play out. The way Ari moved around the kitchen and took care of Luke was wonderful. She seemed so happy, and her skin was glowing. I noticed she kept putting her hand on her stomach.
Oh. My. God.
“Ari!” I yelled, standing up quickly.
Ari and Sue both jumped at my sudden outburst, and Luke started laughing.
“Holy hell, Heather!” Ari said. “You just scared the piss out of me!”
“I need to talk to you. Now.”
Walking in with a bottle, Ellie stopped and looked between Ari and me.
“Um, okay…right this second, Heather?”
“Yes. Yes. Right this second. Sue, will you excuse us?”
I turned toward Ellie. “Come on Ells.”
As soon as we got on the back porch, I spun around to face Ari.
“Are you pregnant?” I busted out.
“Wait! What?” Ellie said as she turned to look at Ari.
The smile that spread across Ari’s face caused me to let out a gasp.
“Oh my god! Oh my god, Ari!” Ellie said.
“How the f**k did you know, Heather? I just found out this morning!” Ari said.
I walked over and gave her a hug. “You’re glowing like all get out, Ari, and you keep touching your stomach.”
I reached for Alex and sat down with her while Ellie took Ari in her arms.
“Does Jeff know?” Ellie asked, jumping up and down with excitement.
Ari threw her head back and laughed. “Nope. I’ve been feeling like shit, so I bought a test yesterday. I used it when we got here this morning, but then everyone started showing up. I haven’t had a chance to tell him.”
“How late are you?” I asked.
While looking down at Alex cooing as she drank her bottle, my heart filled with so much love that I wanted to yell it out to the world.
“I was supposed to have my period two weeks ago. And I realized how I was feeling and all, so I figured that I must be!”
Just then, it dawned on me. I was late. I was three weeks late.
Oh no. Oh my god. I can’t be. I’m on the pill!
“Um…Ellie…can you take Alex real quick?” I asked. I stood up and handed the baby back to Ellie.
“Honey, what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to be sick,” Ellie said, taking Alex from my arms.
I covered my mouth and ran into the house.
“I knew it! I knew she was still sick! If you get these kids sick, Heather Lynn Lambert, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Ari called out.
I ran past Sue and into the bathroom. After five minutes of puking and then dealing with the dry heaves, I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I said in a weak voice. I looked up to see Sue standing there. “Sue…” I couldn’t manage to get another word out.
Sue fell to her knees and took me in her arms.
I started crying. “I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t. I’m on the pill.”
She stroked my hair. “Shh…it’s okay, sweetheart. First, let’s find out if you are before you start wondering about anything else.”
I glanced up to see Ari standing in the doorway. Her face was white as a ghost.
“I have another test! Let me go get it!” She spun around and ran upstairs.
“What?” Sue pulled back from me and turned to watch Ari leaving. “Why does she have a pregnancy test?” she asked, looking back at me.
I just smiled.
Sue wiped the tears from my eyes and shook her head. “Oh holy hell, this house is going to be filled with kids soon.”
After Ari came barreling back down the stairs, she skidded to a stop. “Mom! Who’s watching Luke?”
Sue just looked at Ari. “I’ve raised two kids. I’m not that stupid. Your father is feeding him, or I should say your father is eating all the poor kid’s Hawaiian Delight.”
I let out a giggle. Josh, Gunner, and Jeff also loved that stupid baby food, and they ate it all the time.
Josh. Pregnant. There is absolutely no way I could be pregnant.
I let out a laugh again. “Sue, this is just silly. I’m on the pill, so there is no way—”
Ari let out a gasp and covered her mouth. “Oh my god! Oh my god!”
Sue turned and took the stick out of Ari’s hand. “What the hell is wrong with you? And when were you going to tell me you had taken a pregnancy test, young lady?”
Ari peeked down at her mother and shook her head. “Never mind that, Mom. Heather, remember when you were so sick right before the accident? Remember you had, like, all this shit wrong with you? Do you remember?”
“Of course I remember. I was sick for, like, two weeks. Why?”
Now, Sue let out a gasp before she started smiling. “Sweetheart, were you on any kind of antibiotics?”
“Yes…two different ones. Why? What does that have to do with me getting the flu again?”
Ari started jumping up and down as she grabbed on to her mother’s shoulders.
“What’s going on?” Ellie asked as she walked up behind Ari. “Alex is passed out in her swing, and you’re fixin’ to wake her up, Ari.”
“Oh, sorry, Ells! I’m just excited because Heather’s pregnant!”
“What?” Ellie and I both yelled out at the same time.
“Oh my god, Ari! I am not pregnant,” I said as I turned to Sue. “Sue, this is just insane. I’m not pregnant.”
“Humor me then,” Sue said as she put the pregnancy test in my hand.
“Fine!” I looked at all three of them standing there, staring at me. “Um, do think I could piss on the stick in private?”
Ari threw her head back and laughed. When she started jumping up and down, Ellie joined in.
“Yep! She is sooo pregnant. She keeps swearing!” Ari said as she hugged Ellie, who was laughing.
Smiling, Sue backed out of the bathroom and shut the door.
I just stood there and looked at the stick in my hand. I thought back to the last night Josh and I had been together. I closed my eyes as I remembered the sweet passionate love he’d made to me outside in the rain. It was one of the most romantic moments of my life.
He doesn’t even remember that night. He doesn’t remember our love. He doesn’t remember whispering in my ear how much he wanted to be with me forever.
I jumped when I heard knocking on the door.
“Piss on the damn thing already, you bitch!”
I smiled. God, I love Ari. Only she could make me smile when I was dying a slow death on the inside.
I did what they had said, and then I took a piece of toilet paper and put it on the counter. I set the test down without looking at it, and I washed my hands and opened the door.
“Well?” all three of them asked.
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked at it.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Look at it,” Ari said with her hands on her hips.
“I can’t,” I said, a tear rolling down my face. “If I am…then…I’m in this all alone.”
“What are you talking about, Heather? Josh will be a wonderful father!” Ellie said.
I shook my head as the tears started falling faster. “He doesn’t even remember being in love with me. He doesn’t even remember the night this child was possibly conceived. Why would he…why would he want…”
Sue walked up and took me in her arms as I lost it.
“Do you want me to look at it, sweets?” Ari asked.
“Yes.”
Ari walked by me and into the bathroom. I buried my face into Sue’s chest.
I can’t breathe.
Breathe, baby girl.
I looked up at Sue. “What did you just say?”
Sue looked at me, confused. “I didn’t say anything, sweetheart.”
I closed my eyes.
Just breathe…
My eyes flew open. “Daddy…”
“What?” Sue asked me.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Nothing, um…never mind,” I said as I turned to look at Ari.
She was just staring at me.
“Well? I was right, right? I’m not pregnant, am I?”
Ari quickly glanced over to Ellie and then at her mother before her eyes met mine again. She didn’t have to tell me. A part of me already knew.
I’m going to have Josh’s baby.
Chapter Sixteen
The moment I saw Heather’s car parked behind Gunner’s truck, my heart started pounding.
“So, you never did tell me how you like your new truck,” Jeff said with a smile.
Gunner shook his head and punched Jeff in the arm.
I still couldn’t believe I’d been looking at Fords. I’d always loved my Dodge truck. “I love it. Bitch has a ton of power. Too bad all you f**kers got my new leather seats wet,” I said as I helped Matt out of the backseat.
Then, he took off running up the stairs, yelling, “We’re home, f**kers!”
Jeff turned and gave me a drop-dead look. I couldn’t help it. I started laughing.
A minute later, Ari came storming out of the house. “Josh!”
Jeff walked up and leaned in toward my ear. “You’ve gone and done it now. She’s pissed. You better be glad you don’t remember shit right now ’cause you have no idea what the f**k is in store for your ass!”