It was a perfect morning. It almost felt like things were back to normal. Josh went back upstairs to get ready to leave since he was heading to his apartment today to grab a few things and finish packing to move in with me.
I smiled, thinking about when he’d asked if he could still move in. I really need to tell him about the baby. I’m so scared he’s going to think I’m trying to trap him.
“Hey, you look like you’re a million miles away.”
I stood up and walked over to him. I just need to tell him. “Um…Josh, I kind of want to talk to you about something.”
“Sure, princess. Anything you want to talk about, I’m all ears,” he said with a smile.
Just as I was about to start, my cell phone rang. I glanced down and saw it was Amanda. Shit! She was on her way to see Brad, and I was sure she was upset.
I looked back up at Josh and frowned. “Amanda is going to see Brad today, so I better get it.” I let out a sigh.
Josh grabbed his truck keys and then gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
“Hey, Amanda. Hold on real quick,” I answered. I looked Josh in the eyes. “I love you. Please be careful driving.” I kissed him again.
“I’ll be back soon. I don’t think it will take me long. Are you staying here?”
“I have to run a few errands, but I won’t be gone long. I’ll be waiting for you,” I said with a wink.
The smile that spread across his face caused my knees to go weak.
He slowly backed away and turned to leave. “Be nak*d!” He walked down the steps and out to his truck.
I giggled as I watched him walk away. Damn, that boy has a nice ass.
“Hey, Amanda. I’m so sorry. Josh was just leaving to head back into Austin.” I sat down.
“Did you tell him about the baby?”
“Uh…no, not yet.”
“Oh Jesus, Heather. You can’t keep putting it off. Look at the situation I’m in now because I didn’t tell Brad the moment I found out I was pregnant.”
My heart broke for Amanda. “What time are you going to see him?”
“I don’t think I can do it. I’ve pretty much gone through half this pregnancy without him here. What if he can’t give up the drugs? And, of course, there’s also the fact that he made out with that bitch.”
“Oh, Amanda, please go. I know you’re angry, but you’ll always second-guess yourself if you don’t go. I know he hurt you, but I also know he is hurting so, so much. Ellie said Brad cries every time he talks to Gunner, and Brad always says how much he hates himself for what he has done to you.”
Amanda was silent for a good two minutes. I heard her softly crying.
“I just love him so much…and I hate him so much, too, Heather. I gave up all my dreams for him. I went to work for his f**king mother even though I hate her, and I did it for him. I’ve changed myself, so I could fit into their stupid high-society life…all because I loved him so much. In return, he just pushed me away when he should have been pulling me in closer, so I could help him. How do I move past this?”
I took a deep breath in and let it out. Everything she’d said was so true. She’d had dreams of moving and living near the ocean, so she could work as a marine biologist. She’d talked about it since we were freshmen in high school. She’d given it all up to work as the office manager for Brad’s mom.
“I don’t know, sweets. All I know is…if you love him and he loves you, then you’ll find a way to make it through this. I think Brad was just as unhappy as you were, but he was too afraid to stand up to his parents. That was where the drug use came into play. I think he just wanted to find an easy way out…a way to forget.”
“Yeah…well, I wish I had a way to forget the last six months of my life,” she said.
“I know, sweets. I know you do.”
“Heather?”
“Yeah?”
“You need to tell Josh about the baby. I know you’re hoping he’ll get his memory back, but if you keep waiting…you’re going to be four months pregnant like I was. Then, you’ll have to figure out a way to tell him and also explain why you waited so long to tell him.”
“I know. I almost told him right before you called.”
Amanda took a deep breath in and let it out. “I just pulled up to the rehab center. I wish y’all were here. Oh god! What if his parents are here?”
I let out a laugh. “Amanda, you said you were just meeting with the counselor and Brad. Baby, take a deep breath and decide right now. Are you going to forgive him and stand by his side to help him through this drug problem? Or are you going to hold on to your anger, raise your child as a single mother, and walk away from the love of your life?”
“Okay…well, right now, I’m going with option two—anger and single mother. That pretty much sums up how I’m feeling toward him. When I see him, I might change my mind, but I seriously think I’m just gonna want to junk punch him.”
“Good luck, sweets. I love you,” I said.
“Thank you, babe. I’ll call you after I leave. Plus, I want to know what last night was like.”
I laughed. “Bye, sweets. Talk to you later.” I set my phone down on the table, and then I closed my eyes as I thought about the last few days.
The image of our baby on the monitor as the nurse had congratulated me popped into my head.
My eyes flew open. “Oh god. Why didn’t I just tell him the moment I found out?” I said out loud.
I picked up my phone and looked at the time. I jumped up and ran into the house, heading upstairs to change out of my pajamas. I wasn’t going to waste another moment. I would just go to Josh’s apartment and tell him.
I grabbed his T-shirt off the floor and slipped it over my head before I pulled on a pair of jean shorts. I smiled as I thought about telling him. The way he’d put his hand on my stomach last night as he mentioned kids warmed my heart.
Oh shit. He said “someday,” meaning…not right now. What if he freaks out about it? He was just getting used to the idea of us, and now, I’m going to throw a baby into it.
I shook my head and cleared my thoughts. Amanda’s right. I need to do this.
I ran downstairs and skidded to a stop. Fuck! My car is at Josh’s parents’ house.
Neither of us had given a second thought about leaving my car behind when we headed to the dance hall yesterday. I glanced over and saw my dad’s car keys hanging up next to the back door. Although I had kept my dad’s Lexus, I would only drive it every now and then. Smiling, I walked up and grabbed the keys.
“Okay, Daddy, let’s go tell Josh he’s gonna be a father.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
I sat there, bouncing my knee up and down, as I ran my hands along the thighs of my jeans.
“Brad, just take a deep breath. She’s going to come,” Bryan said as he smiled.
“My parents are not going to be here, right? My f**king mother is the cause of all this.”
Bryan let out a laugh. “Brad, you’re a grown man. You made the choice to take drugs.”
I looked down at the ground. I knew he was right, but at this moment, I hated my mother. She had constantly pushed Amanda and me, and she was the reason Amanda and I had fought in the first place.
“I know what you’re thinking, Brad. Yes, your mother played a big role in all of this, but you have a decision to make right now. Do you continue to let your mother control your world? Or will you do what you wanted to do when you first met Amanda?”
Just then, I heard her voice, and I jumped up. The door opened, and Amanda walked in. For a brief moment, it almost looked like she was going to run into my arms. As I glanced down at her stomach, my heart started pounding. She was a lot bigger. I looked back up into her eyes, and I smiled. The look she gave me was blank, like she had nothing left to give. Her eyes were bloodshot, so I knew she must have been crying. This couldn’t be good for her or the baby.
Bryan got up, walked over to Amanda, and shook her hand. “Amanda. It’s a pleasure,” he said as he gestured for her to take a seat.
“Bryan, the pleasure is mine.”
The moment she spoke, her voice ran through my whole body. She looked over at me and gave me a weak smile before sitting down across from me. Bryan had only put three chairs in the room, and he’d purposely placed Amanda’s chair across from me.
“You look breathtaking. You’re getting bigger,” I said as I smiled.
She placed her hands on her stomach and nodded. “Yeah, she’s been moving around a lot more lately.”
My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt like I was going to throw up. She found out the sex of the baby without me. I tried to talk, but nothing would come out. I cleared my throat. “You, um…you found out the sex of the baby?” I felt tears building in my eyes.
Her eyes snapped up and met mine. “No! I would never…I mean...” She took a deep breath and looked away from me. “I was waiting to see if you could there when I have the next sonogram. Well, I mean, I was going to ask you today if you wanted to be there.”
I smiled, and my eyes captured hers. “Yes. More than anything, I want to be there.”
She nodded and attempted to smile. “Okay. Well, it’ll be just a few more weeks, and then we’ll know.”
Bryan cleared his throat and then began our session. He talked about how well my treatment was going, how he thought I might be able to finish up the program a few weeks early, and how I should handle the situation with my mother. I looked at Amanda as Bryan started talking about my mom. Amanda began moving around in her seat.
“Brad, would you like to tell Amanda what we talked about?”
“Um…well, Bryan and I talked about how I needed to tell you everything. I haven’t told you that Michele has been blackmailing me the last few months.”
Amanda’s body looked like it was shaking. “Why?”
“Money. She just wants money from me.”
She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. “What is she blackmailing you with?”
“A video.”
“Oh. My. God. You didn’t…you didn’t sleep with her, did you?”
“What? God no, Amanda. I already told you that I just kissed her, but she…she, um...she had a camera. She recorded me taking the drugs, and then…me, um—”
“You kissing her? You touching a woman who wasn’t your wife while you were higher than a kite?” Amanda shouted at me as she stood up.
“Amanda, why don’t you sit and calm down? It’s not good for you or the baby to get so upset,” Bryan said.
Amanda just turned and looked at Bryan. “Fine.” She sat back down and put her hands on her stomach as she frowned.
“What’s wrong? I jumped up and went over to her.
She stood up and moved away from me. “Don’t touch me!”
“What?” I almost fell to my knees.
“Just don’t touch me, Brad. I can’t stand the thought of you touching me right now.”