“I see. That makes sense because the older they get, the more excited they get, and they want to open gifts first thing,” Mom said. She stood up and placed another gift in the box.
I nodded my head and said, “I don’t think I could do this every year anyway. Pack up all the gifts and take them to Mason…no way.”
“Well…who wants something to snack on? We still have a pile of gifts to wrap!” Mom said. She looked at Brad and raised her eyebrows.
“What? Why are you looking at me? She’s just as guilty,” Brad said, pointing over at me.
“Yes sweetheart, a snack sounds good. And some hot tea maybe?” my father asked.
“Sure daddy, hot tea it is.”
I loved that my parents were here with us. They loved Brad so much and made him feel like he was their son, which was so important to him, especially with his own parents being such asswipes.
We walked into the kitchen and I opened the refrigerator and pulled out some fruit and cheese to make a platter. I spun around to see my mother standing there with her arms crossed over her chest with “the look.” I instantly got chills and had to think if I’d done something wrong. Holy hell, I felt like I was in high school and she was waiting for me to confess I drank alcohol or something.
I looked at her with a confused expression and said, “Umm…something wrong, Mom?”
She just shook her head. Okay. “Mom, why are you looking at me like I’m in trouble or something? You’re kind of freaking me out…can you stop?”
She smiled and dropped her arms. “Want a glass of wine?” She asked as she moved over to where we kept a few bottles. “Is this the same wine you had the last time I asked for wine?” she asked.
I laughed. “Yep. With Brad not drinking anymore, I just don’t really have any of it. I mean I might have one glass if we’re out to dinner or something, but I try to stay away from it.”
My mother turned and looked at me. “So, do you want me to pour you a glass?” she asked, smiling an evil smile.
“Um…no thanks.” Shit. I’m so glad Brad doesn’t drink so I can use that as the excuse as to why I don’t want anything.
“Oh come on, just one glass. I know for a fact Brad does not care if you have a glass of wine.”
She’s pure evil. “No thanks,” I said with a smile and went back to cutting up fruit.
She let out a sigh and said, “Why not? I just want you to have one glass, Mandy, just one.”
Huh? Why is she pushing me? “What? Mom, why is it so important that I have a glass of wine? If you want a glass go ahead. I just don’t want one.”
“You’re a party pooper, come on. I’m going to open up a bottle. Maybe your father will want to join us also.”
I slammed the knife on the counter and looked at her. “I. Don’t. Want. A. Glass. Of. Wine. Mom.”
“Why?”
“Mom!”
“Is it because of the baby?” she whispered.
“Yes! You know I can’t have any because…” Oh snap. I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. My mother very quietly started jumping up and down and air clapping.
“I knew it! I knew it the moment I saw you,” she said in a hushed voice. I watched as she did a goofy dance around the kitchen and I couldn’t help but start laughing.
“Really, Mom? How old are you?”
“I’m as old as I feel and I feel like I’m about twenty-five, thank you very much,” she said with a wink.
“So?” she asked, then sat on the bar stool and placed her chin on the back of her hand. Her eyes were wide with excitement and she nodded her head like she wanted me to hurry it up.
I shrugged and said, “Sooo…what?”
She dropped her hands and leaned back and just looked at me. “Don’t be cute. When did you find out? When are you telling Brad?”
My mouth dropped open. I leaned closer towards her and said, “Is this like some super power older women have? How did you even know and how in the hell do you know I haven’t told him yet?”
She took in a deep breath and let it out. “First off, I’d like to say it was a super power but I’m your mother, I just knew the moment I saw you. I could tell. You’re glowing. Secondly, Brad told your father earlier that he’s getting worried; y’all have been trying to have a baby for a while now. He asked your dad if the drugs he took could be the reason he can’t get you pregnant. I overheard them talking and your father assured him that it will happen when it’s meant to happen.”
I felt the tears stinging my eyes. “Mom…why can’t he move past the guilt? I just want him to know how much I love him and that it’s all in the past.”
She got up and walked around the island. When she took me in her arms, I tried so hard to hold it in but I started crying.
“Oh baby girl, don’t cry. I really think this baby is going to help Brad fully heal. I know it will.”
I started nodding my head and said, “God, I hope so, Mom. I really hope so. He’s doing so good and is so happy and it kills me that he beats himself up over the fact that he missed out on so much of the pregnancy.”
She pulled back and gave me a slight smile. “Can you blame him for wanting a second chance?”
Then it hit me like it always does. “But Mom…it’s really my fault. I hid the pregnancy from him for so long…maybe if I had told him sooner he might not have gotten so deep…”
She put her fingers up to my lips and shook her head. “No. We don’t do this. We don’t play the what if’s…ever. The past is in the past. Leave it there. If you don’t, it will eat you alive and for what? You can’t do anything to change it, so learn from it and let it go.”
I looked at my mom and smiled. She had always been my rock. She was a therapist and her best friend and colleague had agreed to be Brad’s therapist after he got out of rehab. Bryan had suggested that Brad continue to see one for as long as he felt the need. He still goes and talks to her at least twice a month.
Brad walked in and stopped when he saw us. “What’s wrong?” he said as he looked at me and then at my mother.
My mom started laughing. “Nothing, sweetheart. I was telling Amanda an old story and she got all emotional.” She turned and winked at me as I tried to smile.
Brad walked up and took me into his arms. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too.”
Chapter 4: Brad
After we had brought all the presents in and put them in the garage, we all headed outside. The girls were all sitting out back laughing and talking.
“What, do the kids all take naps at the same time now?” I asked as I walked up and kissed Amanda on the cheek.
“By some miracle, they all crashed at the same time,” Ari said with a chuckle.
“The minute I saw Libby and Will sleeping I just left them where they were…sound asleep in their stroller.”
We all let out a soft laugh. Each of the kids had fallen asleep. Ari had been holding a sleeping Grace up until five minutes ago, when she got up and put her in Alex’s playpen. Maegan had crashed in the portable playpen a few minutes ago, and Luke was sleeping in one of the lounge chairs.
“Man, Luke looks like his dad after a night of heavy drinking,” I said as I punched Jeff in the arm.
“Fuck you, dude.”
I looked around at everyone and then shook my head.
“I wish Scott and Jessie were here,” I said, and everyone nodded in agreement.
Ellie let out a small sigh and then said, “Okay. So everyone knows the game plan right? Y’all are all going to come over around eight in the morning, right?”
Ari and Heather moaned as Ellie gave them a look. “I know your kids are up by then, so don’t moan about it. If we start early that gives us all time to hang out and then get ready to spend the afternoon with our parents.”
“Fine, but if Luke sleeps in, my ass is letting him. He’s a monster if you wake him up before he’s ready,” Ari said as Jeff laughed and agreed.
We spent the next hour or so talking and laughing about everything and nothing. Ellie talked about the baby and how excited she was, Josh talked about how well the business was going and how he just landed a huge job for a doctor’s office in Fredericksburg, and Jeff and Gunner talked about the ranch.
I had yet to tell Amanda I got a promotion at work and that I was now going to be able to work from home most of the time. I couldn’t wait to tell her and planned on telling her tonight sometime. I loved spending every single minute with her and Meg, so this was perfect. I didn’t even care when she dragged me to all those craft shows and into all the stores in Fredericksburg, even though we’d been in them a thousand times. I just loved being with her. As we all enjoyed the rest of the afternoon, I couldn’t help but feel more and more excited about telling Amanda the good news.
Gunner and I sat on the back porch that evening and talked after I had helped Amanda put Maegan down to bed. I was surprised Meg went to sleep in the portable crib so well in our room. She was a creature of habit and usually didn’t take too well to change. I looked up to see Amanda and Ellie walk out onto the porch. Amanda looked at me and her cheeks instantly blushed. I couldn’t help but wonder what she had been thinking of to ’cause her to blush like that. Maybe the other morning in the kitchen perhaps. I had to move and adjust my jeans just thinking about that morning. Damn.
She walked over and sat down in my lap. She moved a little and must have felt my hard on, because she raised her eyebrows and winked.
“Want to go for a walk?” she asked.
I looked out into the dark night and smiled. “Baby, it’s pitch dark out.”
She held up two flashlights and winked.
I let out a laugh and said, “My baby wants to go on a midnight stroll, let’s go for a stroll.”
She jumped up and let out a little shriek and so did Ellie. Gunner smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Ellie handed a blanket to Amanda and she wrapped it around her shoulders. She had on a sweatshirt, so I couldn’t believe she was still cold.
“You want a heavier jacket so you don’t have to carry the blanket?” I asked as Gunner stood up.
“No!” Ellie and Amanda both yelled. I took a step back and held up my hands. “Okay. Okay…blanket it is.” Gunner threw his head back and laughed.
“Why do I think this was planned?” he said as he looked over at a smiling Ellie.
She slowly shook her head and said, “I don’t know what you mean.”
Amanda giggled as she hooked her arm in mine and we headed off for our stroll in the dark. As we walked, Amanda took in a deep breath of air.
“God, I love it out here,” she said as she put her head back some.
My heart started beating faster. Now with my promotion, we could move closer to everyone since I would be working from home mostly.
“Yeah, I do too. Would you ever want to move out here?” I asked, trying to be as casual as I could.
Even though I couldn’t see her face, I could tell she was smiling. “In a heartbeat—if I didn’t think you would have to get an apartment and live in Austin and come home on the weekends!”