Since it’s our last night in Hawaii, all of the crew is meeting in the hotel restaurant for dinner. It feels bittersweet to be heading home tomorrow, but I miss being in my own space, away from crazy models and intrusive make-up crews. While I’ve enjoyed paradise, I can’t wait to get back to my normal routine.
Except, there’s the question of Jude. I haven’t let myself consider how our relationship will change when we get back to New York. I want to transplant every feeling I’ve had here back home with me, but I can’t avoid the truth forever. I’d be naive to think there’s any kind of future for us.
“Charley!” Bella calls my name, jarring me from my reverie. I glance up to see her standing with a few of the models just outside of the restaurant, waiting for me to catch up. My lips curl into what seems like a genuine smile as I step closer.
“Hey, thanks for waiting,” I offer, trying to shake the black cloud that had suddenly darkened my mood. It’s strange how quickly that hopeless feeling can weasel its way back into my world. I wring out my hands. Is it from thinking about things ending with Jude? I’ve been alone for a long time; it’s nothing new.
“No problem, but I’m starving, so let’s go eat.” She links her arm around mine and tugs me forward until we’re stepping into the tropical restaurant.
The restaurant itself is gorgeous, but they have the porch screens open so that the Hawaiian sunset becomes the focal point of the entire eastern wall. The ocean’s waves are audible over the soft island music streaming from the corners of the room.
Modern tiki torches adorn the perimeter walls, offering sultry lighting and leading our path to the porch where the hostess declares that our party will be seated.
The open porch blankets the restaurant in warm humidity, making me glad I opted for a thin criss-crossed strappy dress. My hair is rolled into a messy, low bun, but a few strands have already escaped the hair tie. I have to keep coaxing them back as the breeze blows them gently against my cheek.
I know Jude’s here already because Ryan asked him to come down earlier for a drink. I was hoping we’d have some time together after the shoot, but we ended up getting back later than we expected. All day I was busy getting plucked and prodded and he was busy snapping photos. We haven’t been able to say more than two words to each other since this morning. It’s strange how quickly the sinking feeling in my stomach can return. It’s like Jude wields the power to relax me, and when he’s not around, my stomach coils into the same tight ball I’ve had for the past four years.
“Are you okay?” Bella asks with a concerned look. I twirl my antique ring around my finger out of habit and try to sound genuine as I lie to her face.
“Yeah. Probably just hungry.” Such bullshit. I’ve only felt genuine hunger a few times in the past four years and only when I’ve been with Jude. Isn’t that strange? What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t even know him. The more I consider it, the angrier I become. What do I think he’s going to do? Swoop in and save the day? Erase every memory that keeps me awake at night?
Just then we cross the threshold out onto the porch and the hostess passes each of us a drink menu before excusing herself.
“Hi, girls,” Ryan calls as we step down onto the open patio. The restaurant staff pushed a few tables together so that the entire crew could sit together. They arranged gorgeous orchid leis onto the back of each wicker chair and soft candles glow in a line down the long tablescape. Immediately, everyone starts shuffling around, clamoring for spots next to one another, but I hang back, taking in the scene from the top of the stairs.
It takes two breaths before my eyes land on Jude.
He’s stands off to the side with one hand wrapped around the neck of a beer and one hand tucked into his jeans’ pocket. He has on a white cotton button-down that’s half tucked into his jeans and a smooth smile, drawing me closer like a moth to a flame. I step closer with fluid movements and each inch seems to release the coil in my stomach until it dissipates completely. Just like that, he’s unraveled every worry I’d built up throughout the day.
He narrows his eyes with intense focus as he watches me approach.
“We match,” I smile, glancing from my white dress, back to his shirt.
“Should I take it off?” He cocks his brow.
My heart flutters wildly at the thought.
“And send every girl here into heart failure? Let’s save that for dessert… at least.”
He grins and then gives my body a once over. “I like when you wear white.” God, when he looks at me like that I feel as though I have nothing on at all.
“Do I wear it often?”
He squints and takes a sip of his beer, not willing to elaborate I guess because he changes the subject.
“Did you have fun at the shoot?”
Did I? Surprisingly, yes. “I felt like a vampire or something with that black swimsuit and crazy make-up.”
He laughs gently. “I could see it. You aren’t pale enough though.” His gaze lingers momentarily on me before he takes another sip.
My hand runs over my exposed shoulder, feeling the skin that’s darkened nicely since we’ve been under the Hawaiian sun. It’ll fade once we get back to New York, but for now I feel tanned and pretty, especially under his gaze.
“You have some freckles on your nose,” I point out, and he wrinkles his nose in protest. They’re hardly noticeable, not with his mysterious eyes, tousled hair, and charisma distracting any girl within a ten foot radius.
“Do I? Usually I get a few when I’m outside for a long time.”
“I like them. You’re a manly-man, so the freckles seem… charming.”
He narrows his eyes and reaches out to wind his hand around the back of my neck, tugging me toward him. His finger skims along the bottom of my hairline and my heart kicks into overdrive.
“I’m not charming,” he protests as his fingers glide under my hair, sending a delicious shiver down my spine.
“No?” I ask, pressing my hands against his chest and feeling the play of his hard muscles beneath the thin fabric.
“Not usually.”
“Mmm… I’m flattered,” I murmur watching his lips creep closer to mine.
“I’m going to sleep in your bed again tonight, Charley.”
“Okay,” I breathe, never looking away from his mouth.
“But we aren’t going to sleep,” he whispers so that no one overhears.
“Oh.” My mouth forms a perfect “O” and then hangs there, frozen.
“So, let’s get some dinner in you so we can leave.”
Can he feel my pulse riot from his declaration?
“Let’s just go now,” I plead.
“Charley, Charley,” he bends and kisses my neck so briefly that my skin aches for more. “You need food and we should be respectful of the rest of the cast.”
I narrow my eyes, mumbling under my breath, “To hell with them”, as he drags me over to the table so we can sit down. He chuckles and ignores my hollow threat.
There are still a few people mingling around the porch chatting, but for the most part, everyone has started to sit and order drinks and food. Jude and I pull out chairs next to Bella. Ryan’s already relaxing across from her, nursing some kind of island cocktail with Victoria sitting beside him, hanging onto his every word. I wonder if she likes him or if she just wants to have fun the last night in Hawaii.
“How’d you like your first cover shoot, Charley?” Ryan asks with a bright smile after we take our seats.
Within seconds, I feel Jude’s hand skim the back of my thick wicker chair, barely touching my skin, but sending a clear message all the same.
“I really enjoyed it actually. I liked your vision today. I haven’t seen anything like it before.”
He nods, soaking in my approval. “I’m glad you liked it. We wanted the vibe to be different from any shoot we’ve done in the past. Did you see last years’ issue?”
I nibble on my bottom lip and glance quickly to Jude and then back. “No, actually. I’m terrible about picking up magazines. Where was it shot?”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Oh, that’s a shame. You should find a copy. We filmed in Greenland. Do you remember how pissed the models were the entire weekend, Bella?” he asks, turning his attention to her with a mischievous smile.
“Oh my god, I thought we agreed to forget that weekend all together!” she laughs, turning to me. “They expected us to pose in bikinis in like negative twenty degree weather. We were all threatening to sue.”
“Jeez! That’s just cruel; I’ll take active volcanoes over snow any day.”
Jude laughs next to me, “I felt pretty terrible wrapped in a parka when they were all shivering.”
“What a tough job you have, Mr. Anderson,” I quip, eliciting laughs from Bella and Ryan, but Jude’s gaze clouds over in an instant and he turns toward the table to adjust his silverware. Did I insult him? He should be proud; he’s a great photographer.
“Hey,” I lean in gently, wrapping my hand over his. “Everything okay? I was just kidding.”
He nods distractedly, fiddling with his fork “Yeah.”
“Would you guys like to order?” A chipper voice asks behind us, and we all mumble apologies, realizing we haven’t even looked at the menus yet.
…
“That was amazing! I would have never thought to combine pineapple and pulled pork,” I rave as we push the door open to my hotel room and pad across the plush carpet.
“I’m glad you liked it.”
“Mmm. I loved it.” I toss my purse onto an overstuffed armchair and splay back onto the bed like a sated princess. Jude stands a few feet away with his head cocked to the side and a smirk coating his beautiful lips.
“Did you like the food?”
“I think I liked our picnic yesterday better,” he hints, all amusement seeping from his feral gaze.
I bite my lip nervously and mention the first thing that comes to mind.
“Do you think there could be something going on between Ryan and Victoria?” I ask, propping myself up on my elbows and staring up into his blue eyes.
His fingers run along his stubble as he mulls over my question. “Maybe. They’ve worked with each other a lot, but they could just be good friends.”
“But they shared a meal and he offered to walk her back to her room,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows. “There’s definitely something going on between them,” I declare confidently, like a detective solving a crime.
He nods slowly, accepting the idea. Then his captivating eyes stare into me as he asks, “Is there something going on between us?”
For a brief moment, the oxygen leaves my body and I’m left paralyzed.
Yes, my subconscious shouts.
But then my lungs inhale and my defenses are already gearing into motion. “Of course… I mean we shared a meal and you walked me back to my room too,” I joke, making light of his serious question.
“Charley…” his tone is dark and deadly.