"Ah," she said.
I nodded. That's all I was going to tell her. No more.
"So," she said. "Did you have sex or anything?"
"What exactly does anything entail?" I asked.
"You're avoiding the question, Elise!" She pointed her muffin at me like some objecting prosecution lawyer.
"I'm not," I said. "You're asking a very vague question, though."
"Hm." She removed her muffin from accusing me and pulled a hunk off it, plopping the piece into her mouth. "I suppose I meant more like... did you do anything sexual? Was there flirting? Did he go down on you?"
Oh boy. I couldn't tell her any of this, but I blushed because of what I couldn't tell her.
"You did do something with him, didn't you!" she shrieked.
"Be more quiet!"
"Or what? The neighbors are going to hear me? Who cares?"
"I do," I said. "We didn't do anything like that."
"Did you kiss?" she asked.
"I'm not talking about this."
"Alright, so you kissed." She nodded, happy with her illogical deduction. "Hm. What else?"
"I'm tired again," I said. "I'm going to go take a nap."
"Oh, sure. Su~re," she said. She sounded anything but agreeable right now. "I see how it is. You spend the weekend trapped with a rich, gorgeous man and partaking in some hedonistic orgy or something, and then you won't tell me anything about it."
"I'm fairly positive you can't have any sort of orgy between just two people," I said, retreating to my room.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Vanessa said, screaming at me as I closed the door to my bedroom. "You can do a lot of things if you put your mind to it."
I shut my door hard, trying to ignore her, but thoughts of multiple Lucents caressing and teasing and torturing me into a multi-tiered fit of ecstatic orgiastic pleasure refused to leave my mind. Not that I ever needed more than one Lucent, but if some crazed science experiment ever presented me with two or more of them, I didn't think I'd pass up the opportunity.
I should write a story about that, I thought. That could be my first official project outside of college work. Probably just for me, for practice, as I doubted anyone else would want to read it, but... the concept had merit. I liked it.
...
I...
What did I do? I didn't even know. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling with my cell phone held against my ear. This was...
"To hear more options..." The robot woman's voice droned in my ear.
I felt so heavy and weird. What was I doing? This wasn't possible, was it? The robot woman's voice repeated my voice menu options. "To listen to this message again, please press..."
I knew what number to press. Yes. I needed to listen to Lucent's first message again. This had to be some kind of joke. I pressed the number to replay the message.
"Miss Tanner," Lucent said, his voice sounding odd and different through my phone. "I apologize for telling you everything this way, but I can't do it otherwise. I know I should be able to, and I feel wrong doing it like this, but whenever I see you smiling at me, or happy, or whenever you say anything, I can't. It's not you, nor anything that's your fault, but this came about because of my own faults."
This part made no sense to me at first. Listening to it again, I understood it completely.
"The problem is," he continued, "I should never have come to the library. I've lied to you and I regret it, but I came because I worried. I know more about you than you think, Miss Tanner. I knew you were working when I arrived at the library, and I knew your name already. I know where you attend college and your general schedule throughout the day. This sounds scary, I'm sure, and I hope it won't upset you too much, though I believe you have every right to be upset."
Well, yes. And hearing him say those things did upset me somewhat, but mostly because I didn't understand. How did he know this?
"I've watched you. This is pathetic, and I realize it, but I first noticed you leaving the library one day. I stayed late to work on a private project for Mr. Landseer and during a momentary break, I glanced out of my office window. I have a direct view to the front of the library and I saw you leaving. I watched you enter your car and drive off and that was it. Nothing more nor less."
"I saw you again another time. This happened later, and I'd mostly put you out of my mind, but I recognized you immediately. I was walking past the library after retrieving lunch from a delicatessen down the street--perhaps you know of it, Sam's--and I noticed you entering the library. Presumably you were just arriving for your scheduled work shift after finishing your lectures for the day, though I have no real way of knowing that."
He paused and breathed in deeply. This was a long message.
"It's likely you won't believe me when I say this, but I found you enchanting, Miss Tanner. I rarely stayed late at work before unless necessary, and usually took my work home with me if I required more time, but upon seeing you that day, and realizing I'd seen you before, I started staying to see if I might see you again. And I did. Daily. For weeks. It's been far more than weeks now, and I'm ashamed of it."
I frowned slightly hearing the heartbreak in Lucent's voice. The message had scared me at first, but listening to it a second time made me feel... something. I didn't quite know how to classify what I felt, but it wasn't altogether terrible. Which seemed odd considering he was essentially telling me he'd stalked me. And he said as much right then.
"I'm nothing more than a lowly stalker, Miss Tanner. I was content, though. I enjoyed seeing you leave and I liked knowing that you arrived at your car safely and left the library in a timely manner every day. I have an obsession with safety. After spending the weekend with me, you might understand this more now. The problem with that is that, while I know it's wrong, I did nothing to stop it. Truth be told, I could have removed us safely from the library. Mrs. Landseer, Asher Landseer's wife, offered to send a helicopter for us on the second day once she found out what happened."
Yes, I thought, but on the second day I didn't want to leave. I didn't even want to leave earlier today. I didn't...
"I went to the library because I knew you were there and I worried. I should never have gone, nor should I have worried. I watched you from Landseer Tower and I grew an unhealthy attachment towards you. I even went so far as to find a street photographer willing to take a zoomed picture of you as you entered the library one day. I keep it on my office desk and I like to look at it. This is horrible, and no doubt I've scared you beyond repair right now. I realize this. That is why I'm leaving you this message."
Out of everything he told me, this next part hurt the most.
"I shall not bother you again, Miss Tanner. Please accept my sincerest and deepest apologies. I have used unscrupulous methods to learn more about you, I have done background checks on you to make certain you were as innocent and pure as I imagined, and in those regards you were wonderful. I am corrupt, though. I am not a good person. I do enjoy domination, as you already know, but it is an abuse of power to do such things to you, despite my wants, because of the manner in which I've come to know you."
"You were uninformed," he said. "You knew nothing of what I was doing or who I was, while I knew everything about you already. I apologize for my deceit, but that's no excuse. Honestly, I've enjoyed every moment with you in your library, and the reason I'm acting cowardly and leaving this message for you instead of telling you forthright is because I'd like to enjoy more moments with you while I can. There will be no more moments after this. I am despicable. I..."
He sounded choked, hurt, pained. My heart leaped out of my chest, longing to hold him and tell him it was alright. He didn't need to be upset or bothered or hurt. He didn't need to be...
"Goodbye, Miss Tanner. Please believe me when I say I never meant any harm in what I did."
I did. I believe him. I wanted to tell him. The robot woman droned on again and... "Just shut up!" I screamed at her. Save the message! I want to save it! I pounded the number to save it as hard as I could while tears and pain welled up in my eyes.
I had another message from Lucent, too. I'd almost forgotten about that.
"I've told you everything important already," Lucent said. No preamble here; straight to the point. "I need to inform you of my further transgressions." Apparently I was his pastor and my phone was his confessional booth.
"I fully intended on leaving you this morning. All logic dictates I should have. I wrote you a message and left it with your breakfast, which I assume we shall eat together soon. This will be upsetting to me, though I hope it won't ruin your mood. My messages will do a good enough job of that already. Despite what I have just told you, I've decided not to leave. I am doing this for a few reasons."
Well, good, you a**hole, I thought. I'm glad you didn't leave.
"Mr. Landseer and his personal driver assisted in shoveling out the front of the library for our imminent departure. Along with that, they aided me in shoveling out your car. Now, I am told this is scary, so I apologize in advance, but I thought it prudent to pick the lock on your car. I have already told you that I know a lot about you, and one piece of information that I learned--that I would never abuse, please believe me--is that you keep a spare key hidden in your car. For discretionary purposes, I shall not mention where, though I should add that I believe this is unsafe and you should refrain from doing this in the future."
Alright, so he broken into my car, and then he wanted to tell me to take precautions? This seemed wrong on multiple levels and it made me laugh.
"On a somewhat related tangent, Miss Tanner, I truly believe you should look into purchasing a newer car. Cars with manual locks are easy to break into for anyone with the knowledge of how to do it, and are also unsafe. Leaving that point behind us for the time being, I used your spare key to start your car and defrost your windows. I worried that you might rush upon leaving in order to listen to my previous message and potentially bring harm to yourself."
Lucent was dumb. Lucent was an idiot. I liked him so much it was ridiculous.
"I needed to inform you of this, because while I know breaking into people's cars is wrong, I did so with the best intentions. As I plan never to speak with you again after--"
Why? No. I needed to speak with him.
"--this, I needed to tell you in the only possible way I had. Also, while I'm burrowing holes into Hell, I want you to know you're very attractive when you sleep, and I apologize for waking you with sexual advances. I believe what I have done is technically considered sexual assault by deceptive means and if you wish to press charges against me, I shall fully accept whatever punishment is deemed fit by the legal avenue through which you pursue your accusations. Goodbye again, Elise, and I apologize."
Elise. I frowned and stared at the ceiling and pressed the number to save that message, too. Why did he have to do this to me? I didn't understand.
Yes, it was odd what he'd done. What he'd done for awhile. I didn't quite know how I felt about being watched, but in all honesty, Lucent wasn't a bad person. If he came out and told me that he'd stalked me for months(or however long) before any of this had ever happened, I'd freak out. I knew this, and I knew this was the logical thing to do. If someone stalks you, you dislike it.