I lost track of my sense of self. It felt like we walked through Landseer Tower forever. This is where I started, and this is where I would always be. There was no more or no less than this, ever.
Halfway through walking, turning over his shoulder to see if anyone could see us, Asher paused. I cried harder, unsure what else to do. Asher ignored it, ignored me, and picked me up. Cradling me in his arms like some child, he carried me the rest of the way to his office.
"The door?" he asked, patient and kind. I reached out and fumbled with it, barely managing to open it. Asher kicked it the rest of the way open, then kicked it shut with the heel of his foot after he scooped me inside. Setting me on the floor, he began pacing back and forth.
"You're so reckless!" he yelled. "Why would you do that? What were you thinking? With Solomon Royce, no less? I don't even understand!"
"I didn't flirt with him," I said, shoving aside my tears with the sleeves of my blouse. "I swear, I didn't! I didn't want to do that, Asher. I promise. He... he was forcing me. He was trying to blackmail me. I..."
"Shh," Asher said. He pulled me into his arms. "Shh, I know. Jeremy told me. I came to get you. The door was locked. You shouldn't do that. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you."
I dove into him, pressing my face into his chest. I twisted my head around and listened to his heartbeat; a minor comfort while I drenched his shirt with my tears. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"I love you," he said without warning. "Jessika, I love you. I know I shouldn't. This is so strange. But, I do. I don't want anything to happen to you. You can't do something like that again. I don't care what the reason is. Please, promise me."
"I promise," I said. "I'm sorry. I... I love you, Asher."
When I said this, something changed. I don't know if it was mental, physical, or another feeling entirely, but I felt better, like I'd suddenly become a better person. I was still worried, nervous, and scared after what had happened in Solomon Royce's office, but I wasn't sure if any of that mattered. I didn't think it did as long as I was here with Asher.
He held me in his arms, squeezed me tight and embraced everything I was. I needed more, though.
My hands reached for the buttons of his shirt and I undid them one by one. Asher watched me while I worked fastidiously, quiet and contemplative. Once I finished undoing all of his buttons, I pressed my cheek against the warmth of his chest and leaned against him. Just like that. Forever.
Asher urged my chin up with the barest touch from his fingertips. I looked at him, relished his touch and his gaze, wanting all of it. I needed it to forget, to become who I was and who I should be. I wasn't a whore, or some meek secretary, or a plaything for the likes of Solomon Royce.
I was Jessika. Strong, determined, maybe a little unsure with some confidence issues, but I was me and Asher understood and accepted that.
Gently, like a true lover, he pressed his lips to mine. I opened my mouth slightly, feeling the light warmth of his breath passing over my lips and tickling my tongue. I couldn't stand it for long, though. I wanted him—desperately needed him—so badly, and I think he needed me, too.
We kissed, a frantic, awkward affair. I struggled to pull his shirt off, slipping it over his arms, while he refused to let go of the buttons of my shirt until he'd undone every single one. In a pause, some transcendent moment of love, we watched each other as we pulled off our shirts. The hesitation only lasted for a moment more after that.
Asher grabbed me, pulled me towards him. I went willingly, holding onto him. My fingernails pressed into his back and I rubbed my chest against his abs, feeling my n**ples harden and tingle beneath the fabric of my bra. Not for long, though, as Asher, like some wild beast, nearly ripped my bra in two before figuring out the latch in the back and removing it. Bared for him to see, and him alone, I languished in his desire.
He coaxed me away, pushing gently so he could admire me. Shy and reserved, I stood there, letting him openly ogle my br**sts. Should I remove my skirt? I didn't know, wasn't sure, but I decided to go for it. I unzipped the back, blushing, coy, and shimmied out of it.
"You're so beautiful," Asher said.
He stepped towards me, looming above me, like I was a passerby on the street and he was the embodiment of Landseer Tower itself. Then he knelt down in front of me and I was the tall one now.
"Asher?" I was about to ask, but he stopped me before I finished. Not with a word or a shush, but with his lips on my sensitive nipple. He took my pleasure nub in his mouth and circled around it with his tongue, teasing and tempting me. I gasped at the wet heat of his lips on my bare flesh and my arms circled behind his head instinctively.
Somehow I managed to stand for longer than two seconds, which seemed impossible considering how shaky my legs felt. After, though, I crumpled, toppled, nearly fell to the floor except Asher caught me. Mouth never leaving my nipple, he cupped my panty-clad behind in one hand while he held my back with the other, easing me onto the floor.
I lay there on the floor, rapt, completely and utterly his. Absolutely. He flicked his tongue across my nipple, tormenting me with pleasure. I moaned and gasped and whispered his name.
"I need you, Asher, please," I said, though I didn't actually know what I was saying or why I was saying it. It just seemed like the right thing, the proper words.
He looped a finger into the waistband of my panties and peeled them away from my sex and down my legs. I didn't realize how aroused I was until he mentioned it.
Grinning, he said, "You're so wet. You're underwear's clinging to your body."
With a slight reprieve from his tongue on my breast, I managed to convince myself to look lower. It was true; my panties were practically soaked with my arousal for him.
"I want you," I said. "I want you so badly."
"Shh," he said, covering my mouth with his hand.
He covered my crotch with his other hand, pressing against me. I bucked, unexpectant, against his palm, pleasuring myself against him.
"Calm down," he said. "Shh." He kissed me, slow and soft.
His words were at odds with his actions. He wanted me calm, but then why did he push two fingers inside of me? His hand cupped my sex, his palm keeping me pleasantly warm, while his two fingers delved deep into my slit. No nonsense, no teasing, he curled them and went straight for the rough flesh of my g-spot. I thrashed, my lower body becoming a thing of its own, while he kissed me and coaxed me to calm down.
"I can't," I whispered. "Asher, no, please don't do this. I want you. I can't calm down. Please."
"Shh," he said, grinning as he kissed me. "Jessika, calm down."
I kicked my legs against him, but he ignored that. I didn't want to hurt him, because I still had my heels on, but... I couldn't calm down. My God! Did he really think that was possible? He pushed me higher, harder, fingers expertly goading me towards orgasm. When I thought I might be able to calm down, to listen to him and relax and fight against the pleasure he wanted to induce in me, he completely destroyed that idea.
His mouth left mine and I kissed at the open air for half a second before I realized it. Where.. where was he going? I didn't understand. Then he clamped his lips onto my nipple and I lost it. His tongue swirled around my breast, eking pleasure from my upper body, while his fingers roamed inside me and tantalized my core.
I couldn't stop it now, couldn't contain the tide of my arousal. It rose up, a giant wave, and consumed me. I rode through it, lost myself inside of it. Asher never let me forget it, either. His tongue, his hand, always insistent and coaxing me to greater and better passion. I writhed on the floor, a hot mess, entirely unwound and undone.
Before my cli**x finished, I grabbed him. I pulled his head away from my nipple and wrenched him back up to my face. I kissed him, hard, needy, all over; on his cheeks, his lips, his chin, his jaw.
"Please," I begged. "Asher, please, inside me."
With him kissing me now, with me no longer needing to hold his face and pull him up, I grappled with his pants until I had them somewhat undone. I kicked them away, pushed them down with the toes of my heels, and then narrowed my brow in frustration when I couldn't get his pants all the way off because of his shoes.
He laughed and helped me remove his shoes and pants. "Calm down, Jessika."
"It's not funny!" I shrieked, trying not to laugh, too. "I need you inside of me right now."
"What if I say no?" he asked.
"Asher," I said, panic-stricken. "You wouldn't. No, don't. Please. I'm begging you." All conversational skills abandoned me. "Asher, no, I..."
I got no further before he grabbed the sides of my thighs and buried himself inside of me. Every synapse in my brain let out an electric sigh of wonder at the insane amount of pleasure he brought me. His c*ck drove into me, steady and thick, completely satisfying my need of him. Or, satisfying that current need, though I suddenly realized I needed so much more.
"Yesssss," I hissed.
"I love you," he said, kissing my cheek. "I really do, Jessika. I love you."
"I know," I said, sobering up enough from my intense arousal to speak regularly for a second. "I love you, too. I love you so much, Asher."
We made love. We had sex. We f**ked. We did all of it at once in some indulgent conglomeration of lust and love. I wanted him, needed him. I wanted to kiss his face and relish in the touch of his lips, and I wanted to savor the feel of his manhood inside me. I wanted him to nibble on my lower lip and stare at me with a predatory gleam in his eye while he shoved his c*ck into me and pushed us across the carpets of his office. I wanted to relax and calm down and languish in his love, but I wanted to speed up and press against him and desire his lust, too.
We did all of it, all at once, and I lost myself in him. His body pressed against me, onto me, keeping me warm and safe while seducing my bare skin with the touch of his own. He filled me completely, satisfied me, and while our coupling was somewhat primal, it was an act of intense affection and devotion, too.
I screamed aloud when I came, my slick folds kissing at the shaft of his c*ck and my inner walls clenching around him. He kissed me everywhere then, every inch of my face, leaving my mouth so I could announce my cli**x to the world in wild, illogical utterances. My body twisted beneath him, but I didn't want to go anywhere. He held me tight; enough to let me squirm in pleasure but not so much that I could slip away from him.
"I'm going to," he said. "Soon."
My orgasm was still in full effect, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. I tried to look at him, but I couldn't see more than bright lights and shadows. "Inside me," I said, a pleading whisper. "Please, inside me."
He nodded, though I didn't see it. I sensed it, though, a wisp of a breeze caused by the nod of his head because of how close we were. He thrust into me, faster now, imminent and urgent. Then deep, deeper still, claiming every inch of my body with his own.
The warm gush of his seed enveloped me. I felt his c*ck pulsing and twitching inside me and the warmth of him unleashing his pleasure into the deepest part of my body. I held him and squeezed him, with my arms and the walls of my p**sy.