Might as well get this over with.
I stopped and beckoned for him to come closer so that I wouldn’t have to shout and risk having our conversation overheard. “Who was she?”
Gabriel’s pleasant expression tightened. “Someone I was involved with for a period of time.”
“That’s a mouthful for ‘ex-girlfriend’.”
“I suppose it was.”
I sipped my drink, resisting the urge to turn and look over my shoulder. I don’t know how I knew, but somehow I knew Embry had made her way into the hall as well. Perhaps it was the energy of killing intensity I’d become familiar with during those weeks of Gabriel’s first courting. I’d made way more enemies with the female population than I could ever hope to overcome. Hopefully tonight would stick with just the one.
“Did it end well?”
“Do these kinds of things ever?”
“I guess not when it comes to you.”
“True. I have a gift for misery.” He didn’t attempt to ease the sting of his words with a smile or devilish grin.
I wasn’t going to argue. “How long ago did you break things off?”
“It ended long before it actually did.”
“Ah, it must’ve been recent then.” All the pleasure I’d had evaporated as the cold specter of Gabriel’s past hovered across the dance floor. Her gaze bored holes into us. I imagined I’d probably drop dead if her stare stayed on me for too long. “No wonder she looked upset.”
Gabriel exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, Emma. I didn’t think she’d come up to us.”
“So you saw her?”
“No.”
“But you knew she was going to be here.”
He cleared his throat and asked, “It’s just like high school again, isn’t it?”
“Worse.”
“How?”
“Because it’s not high school anymore.” I drifted along the edge of the parquet floor, watching the couples dip and sway to fun 1980s dance music. Gabriel stayed close by my side as if he were afraid I’d take off. His instincts were right because I was seconds away from bolting.
“I’m sorry.”
I didn’t reply, choosing instead to focus on an elderly couple dancing with enviable abandonment.
What else was new? You’re sorry. I’m sorry. Embry’s sorry. We’re all just sorry.
Bending close to my ear, Gabriel made himself heard above the music. “You’re angry with me.”
“No.” More than he could ever guess.
“Disappointed?”
“No.” Yes.
“Frustrated?”
“No.” Absolutely.
“Then what?”
I stopped. Aware of the people surrounding us, and unable to shake the habit of concealing my emotions, I regarded Gabriel as if he were anyone else in the crowd. “Did you invite me because you knew Embry was going to be here? Did you use me to hurt her, Gabriel?”
“I invited you because I wanted a reason to see you tonight.”
That was a sidestep if there ever was one. “And you didn’t think that maybe you should’ve told me that we were going to run into a furious ex-girlfriend?”
Gabriel straightened. His somber expression didn’t fit. I didn’t have to hear the words to know them. “You wouldn’t have come.”
Anger buried itself like a splinter. Annoying, painful. “I see.” I knocked back Gabriel’s champagne. He was right. It did taste better to take something from someone else.
Fuck it.
I stood on tip-toe and yelled in his ear, “I’m not staying. Bye.”
I didn’t feel guilty. Not one bit. Not even a tiny bit. Though I left him standing there, alone in sight of the fixated, glamour queen Embry, I refused to feel sorry for Gabriel.
Or me.
I was grateful for the clutch in my hand and the foresight I had to put my ID, ATM card, and keys inside. I wasn’t going to be stuck on the side of the road with a busted pumpkin. Cinderellie was going to go home, shuck off her clothes, and take a long bath.
Gabriel reached me in no time. His hand clamped around my wrist and he led us to another column, further in the back and farther away from the door. “Where were you trying to go?”
“Away.”
“I’m going with you.”
“That’s not necessary. I can get home on my home. I’m sure it’ll be no problem to get a cab over here.”
The mulish set of his jaw told me Gabriel had no intention of turning around and going back inside the dining hall. Although the crowd had thinned out, there were still several couples milling about. A few looked in his direction, a pleasant smile of recognition forming on their faces. He ignored everybody and focused solely on me.
“You promised you wouldn’t run away, Emma.”
“I’m not. It’s just that I have no interest in living this again.”
“What?”
“This! This life where you’re never free to just be a normal guy with me. There’s always someone else in the background, waiting for her turn. There’s always some girl who is begging for another chance. I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder and see yet another ex-girlfriend of yours. I don’t want that and I don’t need that in my life.”
“I don’t want that either.”
“But it’s your life, Gabriel. You create it when you keep going from girl to girl!” I tried to keep my voice low but I could see the curious stares we received. “Look, I don’t want to draw anymore attention to you than I already have.”
“Fuck them. Let them look. I really don’t care.”
“Gabriel, this is your world and I don’t belong here.”
“Fraudulent happiness.”
“What?”
“It’s what people like me have. You wanted to know why I asked you here, but most importantly you wanted to know why I’m here with you and not with Embry.”
I flushed. I didn’t want to hear about his relationship with the beautiful, broken-hearted woman. “Gabriel, what happened between you two is none of my business.”
“It is, Emma, more than you know. Fraudulent happiness occurs when everything is handed to someone. The world is manufactured just so, created in the likeness of something that never should’ve existed in the first place.”
I didn’t understand him, but I found myself really wanting to.
“I could go to the committee head and have them command the band to not play “Funkytown” because I felt like being a bastard. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and no one would call me on it. No one except you, Emma.”
“I don’t mean to call you out, Gabriel.”
“You can’t help yourself, I know. You hate my money. You hate the social class I belong. You hate everything I stand for.”
I couldn’t deny it but I could deny the unspoken. “I never hated you, Gabriel.”
“Why? When you dislike my world so much, why do you even tolerate me?”
His questions shook my foundation. I wanted to throw out something easy to satisfy, but couldn’t. “I don’t know. I can’t help myself because there’s something there, Gabriel, something worth knowing.”
“And there it is.” He closed his eyes briefly as if he’d just savored something exquisite. “Fraudulent happiness can’t exist when I’m with you. It’s impossible.” Gabriel reached and held onto my arms. His lips barely moved, but I heard him loud and clear.
“Emma, you’ve broken my heart, ripped me to shreds, and made me question my self-worth. I sometimes hated you for it but I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”
I blanched. My tongue ached to confess he wasn’t the only one to feel it.
“Yet, I’d take every moment of that a hundred times over if it meant that I could finally be with someone who could be real with me. You don’t try to impress me and you don’t want my money. You don’t watch your tongue out of fear that I’ll get angry and not do business with your family. When I’m with you I know that what I get is real. The pain, the happiness, all of it is genuine.”
His words made me feel like a goddess. I only wished I could be half a good a person as he painted me to be. “Not always. I don’t show you half of what I really feel.”
His gaze softened. “But I still know it’s there, Emma. It exists and that’s all that matters to me.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Thank you, Gabriel. I’m still not staying.”
“Neither am I.”
I can’t explain how relieved those words made me. Was I already that attached to him again? If I had any sense at all I would walk away and never speak to Gabriel again.
“Can you leave? I mean, aren’t you expected to stay for longer?”
An arrogant smirk proceeded, “It’s good to be king sometimes, Emma, especially because I can do what I want.”
“So you only want to be real with me and not the rest of the world?”
“Well, let’s not get crazy.”
“All right, King Gabriel. Let’s go and eat. I’m paying, remember?”
He smiled, obviously relieved. “I haven’t forgotten.”
I reached out for his hand. I didn’t have to think about how right it felt. “I know a place where we can eat until our bellies want to explode. You game?”
Gabriel squeezed my hand. “That is the best idea I’ve heard all day.”
We smiled together, thoughts of Embry and the rest gone as if they’d fallen off the edge of the world.
CHAPTER SIX
The doorbell chimed incessantly. I crawled out of bed, cursing whoever had the nerve to wake me up at the crack of noon. I croaked, “Yes?”
“Rise and shine, Emma.”
“Gabriel?”
“In the flesh.”
Excitement skittered along my spine. “What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to see you.”
I looked at my wrist. “But we just saw each other.”
“Five hours ago! Which is way too long to be apart from you.”
“But—”
“Emma, my dear, can we have this conversation in person?”
My eyes felt stuck to one another. I could barely muster up the strength to force them open even as my heartbeat quickened. I couldn’t deny how pleased I was that I’d get to see him again.
We’d left the fundraiser the night before and piled into Gabriel’s limousine. I’d instructed Waylon to drive halfway between downtown and suburbia to the finest 24 hour Chinese restaurant in the world. Gabriel had practically jumped out of the limo in his excitement.
I’d felt strange going into Hong Kong Garden #5 knowing Waylon was going to be outside waiting. However, he turned down our invitation to join us and instead settled down with an e-reader.
“I already ate dinner tonight. Thank you though.”
Gabriel had twined his fingers with mine and led us into the restaurant. We settled into a red pleather booth and talked for hours. He charmed me with stories of his adventures around the world. I entertained him with…well, I’m not sure. My life had been remarkably dull until he careened back into it.