“I don’t want to hold you up any further. Thank you again for your kindness, Samantha.”
The long-suffering assistant immediately began speaking to Gabriel afterwards, leaving the woman no choice but to walk out the elevator with a smile and a glassy-eyed stare.
Geez, nothing ever really changes, does it?
I swallowed my rude snort. Or at least I thought I did.
Gabriel looked over his shoulder, heaven blue gaze mildly curious before widening in electric shock.
“Emma?”
I cleared my throat and did my best to pretend that this wasn’t the absolute worst thing to happen to me since I left him standing on my porch seven years before.
“Hello, Gabriel.”
He turned fully towards me and beamed with pleasure. The smile he’d given Samantha the Samaritan instantly paled in comparison. Gabriel’s simple movement of lips and teeth created a blindingly beautiful greeting. It slayed my irritation over being caught, leaving me in a low-grade panic.
I was as vulnerable as ever to him and I had nowhere to run.
“Emma, this is a most pleasant and welcome surprise.”
I couldn’t exactly say the same so I murmured something vague but polite. Gabriel saw right through it. He stepped closer and murmured, “Still don’t like me much, do you?”
My mouth dropped open. His assistant’s dark brow raised a notch before he turned to look up at the mirrored ceiling. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I lowered my voice and answered, “I don’t dislike you.”
“But you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“It sure didn’t feel that way from where I stood.”
Was that a dig for how things ended between us? It probably was. Flustered, I haltingly apologized. “I’m sorry I made you feel that, Gabriel. Really. I always liked you…even when I said…well, you know.”
I was telling the truth, but I couldn’t blame him if he didn’t believe me. I never disliked Gabriel but leaving his bed, turning down his offer to be his only girl, and never speaking to him again sure as hell didn’t support my claim.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I could see in his eyes he knew what I was talking about.
“There’s no way in hell I’d ever be your girlfriend, Gabriel. I know who you really are. I’m not mad enough to ever put myself through that kind of misery. I’m worth more than just being a notch in your belt. A lot more.”
The strident voice of my seventeen year old self faded from memory, leaving me alone with the twenty-five year old man I had once said those vicious words to. Sadness washed over me as I once again wondered if I had made a mistake in turning Gabriel away.
“I’m glad to finally hear it.” His lazy-lidded gaze sparkled with mirth, nearly disguising a flash of stark sadness.
Guilt prickled me. That and regret.
Gabriel Gordon the billionaire was invincible and impervious to mortal weakness. Gabriel the young man I’d watched for so long wasn’t. I knew better than believing the outside was any real indication of a person’s insides.
Tenderness evaporated when I heard him ask smugly, “So for how long did you pine over me, Emma?”
“W-What?” I sputtered, apparently still unable to coherently speak. “Pine over you? Did you really just use the word ‘pine’?”
“Was it just senior year or all four of them? I bet it was all four of them, wasn’t it?” Gabriel leaned closer. “I mean, you spent so much time staring at me. It had to be about more than just my good looks.”
I crossed my arms and re-crossed them, feeling like an awkward teenager again. “That’s pretty arrogant of you.”
“Sure it is. I’m always arrogant. Now answer the question.”
“I don’t have to answer that, Gabriel. And you really shouldn’t be asking.”
“Oh yes. There it is!” He leaned closer and murmured, “That’s what I’ve been missing.”
Confused, I frowned deeply. “What are you talking about?” My sour tone should’ve put him off. Instead, it made his expression crease with delight.
“That attitude, Emma, and the little wrinkle that forms right here. I see it hasn’t gotten any bigger so it must only come out when you’re talking to me.” His fingertip tapped the bridge of my nose lightly.
Gabriel’s brief touch warmed me. My body instantly recognized the sensation, blooming with joy at feeling him again. Apparently it hadn’t forgotten that long ago night either.
“It’s not nice of you to point out my wrinkles, Gabriel.”
“But it’s my wrinkle, Emma. I’m very proud of its existence.”
I choked on a laugh and tried to disguise it as a cough. He saw right through me. Again.
“So tell me, Emma…” He drew out my name in a way I hadn’t heard in so many years.
“Yes?” The elevator steadily rose higher. I was sure I should’ve reached my floor by now. Glad I hadn’t, I let myself enjoy the moment of being with the man that had always fascinated me so.
Gabriel took a step closer. He towered over me, making me utterly aware of his body. Even though I had grown a few inches so had he. I was back to being a blade of grass struggling to grow in the enormity of Gabriel’s shadow. Or a moth battering against the window, wanting so badly to come inside and become one with his light.
Gabriel’s lips curled into another amazing smile. He reached out and ran the back of one finger against my cheek. I closed my eyes, finding it harder to breathe. I’d gone so quickly from petty resentment to this liquid sensation. I wanted to lean closer to him, to rest my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat.
“How many years was it?”
I looked at him in confusion. It was difficult to think while his finger continued its slow slide up and down across my warm cheek. “How many years was what?”
“How many years did you like me, Emma?” His gaze darkened as he stared at my mouth. “How many years did you like me like I liked you?”
There were too many ‘likes’ in that sentence. A girl should have some secrets, but standing there, so close to his exquisite face and seeing myself reflected in his crystal blue eyes, I decided this was one I didn’t have to keep anymore.
“Longer than even I realized. Long after graduation.”
Gabriel nodded slowly, seemingly still fixated on the shape of my mouth. “I wish I had figured it out back then.”
A small hum appeared in my throat. I swayed towards him. His hand left my face, moving down until his fingers curled around my wrist.
“Did you almost want to die of regret?” Gabriel asked abruptly, in a harsh near-whisper.
My eyes widened. Shocked by his question, I looked over his shoulder, seeing the still silent assistant now standing there with back discreetly turned to us.
“Don’t look at him! Stay right here with me.”
I obeyed immediately, gaze refocusing back on his. My mind was in too much of a jumble to make sense of my uncommon reaction.
“Did you ever regret saying no to me? I need to know, Emma.”
I dangled on the question, feeling like I shouldn’t answer just because he demanded it of me. It was instinctual. I didn’t want to be controlled by anyone, no matter how alluring the command. Still, Gabriel never truly fit in the parameters I set for myself and the outside world.
He never had and that’s why I knew Gabriel for the walking danger he was. He threatened me by being like the sun, for tempting me to love him for simply existing and staying forever out of my reach.
So did I regret saying no? Of course I did. But then again, maybe I was crazy because I still couldn’t face the possibility of yes.
“I did but—”
“No, I don’t want to hear the rest.” Gabriel closed his eyes. A shudder went through him. His entire body relaxed, unwinding from tension I didn’t see he carried until it was gone. “I finally know what I needed to know.”
Moments passed with suspended anticipation before I asked softly, “Which is?”
Gabriel speared me again with his brilliant gaze. “It wasn’t just me.”
The breath left my body. My fingertips itched to trace the sharp lines of his cheekbones. “No, it wasn’t just you.”
“I scared you then, didn’t I?”
Then? Gabriel scared me now. He was everything shimmering beyond the veil of my reality. The comparisons between his world and mine always left me feeling disoriented, like a visitor in a perfectly maintained castle. Something exquisite meant to be experienced and lusted after—but only for a short period.
Look but don’t touch.
“Yes.” The word slipped out before I could capture it. “You still do.”
“I’m sorry for that, Emma. I really am.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Visiting hours were over. I twisted my wrist. Gabriel let go. Smoothing my hands down my skirt, I managed a brief shaky smile. “I better get going.”
“Why? We just started our talk.”
“I’ve reached my floor.”
“Really? That quickly?”
“Yes.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Floor twenty-nine. Med-Tech. You just moved in.”
I made an affirmative sound, suddenly wishing I really didn’t have to leave. I loved the way he’d just looked at me, sweetly as if I was a precious sight. How did Gabriel still have the power to do this to me? Where was my wall, the one I frantically built and rebuilt when he’d decided to woo me seven years before? Was I so susceptible to his charms like everyone else?
Do I really have to ask that question when I already know the answer?
I had to put distance between us.
“It was good seeing you, Gabriel, but I have to go.” I made to step around him when he stepped in the same direction, neatly blocking me. “What are you doing?”
Gabriel ignored my question. Amusement danced in his gaze. “Do you like working there?”
“Yes.”
“How well?”
“A lot.”
“Any chance of you leaving?”
“Why?” My stomach clenched. Had I totally misread the situation? Maybe Gabriel didn’t fancy tripping over me, much like I hadn’t fancied it for the past month.
“I could always use a brilliant mind like yours at Gordon Industries.”
I let out an incredulous laugh, relieved that he wasn’t politely asking me to find another place to work far from him and his high-tech building. “You’re kidding!”
Gabriel’s smile died. He shook his head. “No. I’m not. What do you do at Med-Tech?”
“I’m a junior analyst.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. What division?”
“Sales and Marketing.”
He nodded his head. “You should come work for me. How much time would you need to give your notice?”
“Are you…Gabriel…you’re…are you out of your mind?”
“Perfectly sane.”
“I am not coming to work for you. I like where I’m at now.”