But it didn't have to be that way anymore.
Mr. Thorne had given me his personal cell phone number - something that I suspected he rarely gave to anyone. He was anxious to know my decision. Of course he was. He tried to hide it as best he could, but I knew how badly he needed me to say yes.
When I got home, I pulled the wrinkled sticky note out of my pocket and dialed the number.
He answered on the first ring.
"Hello?" His voice was dark and smooth, like...no, I couldn't let myself think that way. Come on, Maddy. Get it together.
"Hello, Mr. Thorne? It's uh...it's Madeline Wainright."
There was just a moment's hesitation. "I think maybe...you ought to get used to calling me Daniel." I could hear him smiling down the phone. The fact that I was calling him out of the blue gave away my hand.
"Okay, Daniel," I said. "Have the contract ready for me on Monday."
"Of course," he said.
"I know it's a purely verbal agreement at this point, but can you do something for me?"
"Anything."
I felt goose bumps rising on my arms, for some incomprehensible reason.
"I'll need a ride to work," I said. "My car broke down, and it's going to be in the shop for at least a week..."
"Of course, Madeline. I'll send a town car to pick you up Monday morning. And don't worry about paying for the repairs, I'll see that it's done. Did you take it to Fellman's?"
"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess." I could hear him shuffling some papers. "I'll see you on Monday, Madeline."
"Yeah, see you later." Why were my ears burning? I dropped the phone on the sofa and went to run myself a hot bath. I needed to sink into oblivion for a moment; the decision I'd just made was too big to even think about rationally until I'd had some rest.
As I dropped my clothes into the hamper in the hallway and walked nak*d to the bathroom, I started to think about how awkward it would be to live with Mr. Thorne. With Daniel. We were basically strangers. Despite our charade, it wasn't like I was about to walk around nak*d in front of him. I'd been living by myself for so long that I was used to being in a certain amount of privacy when I was home. Being around someone all the time would definitely take some adjusting-to.
Of course, I'd still be alone during the day, when he was at work. That was another thing I hadn't really considered. What would it be like, living a life where I wasn't obligated to go anywhere or do anything? Aside from the fancy dinners and restaurants I assumed I'd be expected to attend on Daniel's arm, I'd have all the free time in the world. What on earth was I going to do?
I kept forgetting that money was no object. As I sank into the steaming water, I remembered that I could go back and take those figure drawing classes I'd always wanted to do, but never found the time for. Hell, I could take private lessons. I could drop all this commercial crap and only create the kind of art that would make somebody's soul sing...
I had to stop and laugh at myself. I was getting way, way ahead of things. I still had to adjust to the idea of being someone's wife, even if it was only temporary.
From what little I knew of Daniel, I was sure he had the whole thing planned out. He knew already what our first kiss would be like, where he'd spontaneously propose, and when we'd impulsively run over to Vegas or the judge's offices to get married, or whatever. He was already planning the first time he'd put his hand on my lower back, signaling to the whole world that I belonged to him. And I couldn't quite decide if I hated that idea, or loved it - maybe a little more than I should.
Even in the hot water, I shivered.
I wasn't about to question the business plans of such a successful man, but I had to wonder how believable our relationship would appear to be. I wasn't exactly the sort of glamorous supermodel type that the richest of the rich tended to marry. He'd made it pretty clear that he wasn't expecting me to act a certain way, but how would I be expected to dress? I'd never seen Daniel in anything but a suit; then again, I'd never seen him outside of work.
The full absurdity of my situation hit me then, and for a moment I felt lightheaded with panic. Then I remembered that I hadn't actually signed anything yet, and I calmed down slightly. Just slightly. There still a part of my brain that knew I wasn't going to go back on my word. I wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment on his face.
-
Sure enough, the town car was there at seven a.m. sharp. I'd been waiting out on the curb, not wanting to be rude and make the driver wait. He seemed surprised when he saw me.
"Good morning," he said. "I would have called up for you, there's no need to wait."
"Oh, sorry." Of course. A couple days into this fake relationship, and I was already bungling things. "I'm not really familiar with...this whole thing."
"No, no, it's all right," he insisted. "I just thought you should know, for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I looked up at his face reflected in the rearview. "I only asked for a ride today." But come to think of it, I hadn't considered how I'd get to work for the rest of the week.
"Mr. Thorne said you would require my services at least until Friday," he replied. "Is that not right?"
"Oh, no, that's...that's fine."
I stared out the window as he pulled away. Daniel was already making an effort to anticipate my needs. It was rather sweet of him, although I could see the potential for it to get pretty creepy and controlling. Then again, the contract pretty much spelled out that he wasn't allowed to dictate most parts of my life...I chuckled a little, wishing I'd signed a contract at the beginning of my relationship with all my boyfriends. Probably would have eliminated the worst ones right off the bat.
I stopped by my desk briefly when I got into work, to drop off my coat and purse before I headed to Daniel's office. Florence, my cubicle mate, was already there.
"Where are you off to so early?" she asked, seeing me puttering around with no obvious intention of settling in.
"Oh, I have to see Mr. Thorne," I replied, trying to keep my face neutral. I'd probably look like I was hiding something, but that would fit in nicely with the fictional progression of our relationship.
"You've been spending a lot of time in his office lately," Florence observed, her eyes glued on her computer screen. "I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?"
"See you," I called over my shoulder as I hurried off, convincingly playing the part of a woman who's embarrassed to be carrying on with her boss. It wasn't too much of a stretch.
Daniel was smiling when I walked into his office. Well, that was a first.
His lawyer was in the corner, looking put-upon as usual. There was no doubt in my mind that he objected to every part of this plan - but he was objecting all the way to the bank, it seemed. I knew how he felt.
"Good morning, Maddy. Please, have a seat." He gestured to a chair that was facing his desk. There was a rather nice fountain pen sitting conspicuously on the polished wood, waiting for me. I sat down and picked it up. It could have been a fifty dollar pen or a five thousand dollar pen - what was the difference, really? - but considering its owner, I had a pretty good idea which one was more likely.
"You like it?" Daniel wanted to know, noticing me studying the pen. I looked up, startled.
"Uh, yeah," I said. "I...yeah, I do." Really, I had been focusing on absolutely anything except the reality of what I was about to do, but sure, the pen was nice.
"Keep it," he said. "It's yours."
"Oh, no, I couldn't. I'll lose it."
"What's mine is yours, Maddy. You'd better get used to that idea."
I swallowed with difficulty. I felt like my throat was closing up, but I forced myself to take a deep breath as he pushed a series of papers towards me and pointed to the spots where I was meant to sign. He signed after me, with an elegant flourish, and then handed the whole thing over to his lawyer.
"Thank you," he said, reaching across the desk to shake my hand. Which seemed like an odd gesture, considering the intimacy of our arrangement, but I took it. "You won't regret your decision, I promise."
"You can't possibly promise that," I replied, smiling. "But you're welcome."
I was useless for the rest of the day, flitting from project to project and accomplishing nothing. I could tell that Florence noticed, but she managed to restrain herself from commenting on it until after lunch.
"What's up with you? You look like you're a million miles away."
"I'm fine," I replied quickly. Too quickly. My ears were burning. Good. "Just feeling a little under the weather today, I guess."
"Sure," said Florence. She wasn't convinced, which was fine by me. I tried to imagine her knowing smile when the news "got out." Ugh. Somehow, it hadn't occurred to me until now that I was going to have to endure inane congratulations from everyone in the office - about half of which, I knew, would be coming through gritted teeth. Every woman in the company carried at least a little torch for Daniel, if only because of his bank account. Oh God, what if they wanted to throw me an engagement party? I didn't think I could handle hours of their eyes staring into me like daggers, and their faces contorting into forced smiles every time I looked at them. There was so much about this arrangement that I hadn't even considered. How was I going to tell my parents? Was I going to tell my parents?
I sighed. My relationship with my parents was complicated. I preferred not to think about it too much, but this situation was forcing me to consider things I'd been ignoring for a long time. Like - who was I going to invite to the wedding? Or would we just have a small ceremony at City Hall? He probably wanted to get things over with as quickly as possible. Which was fine with me, as long as he provided the witnesses. Aside from my casual acquaintances at work, I hadn't really made any friends since I'd moved here. All of my close friends from college and high school were off living their own lives, and aside from the occasional online chat, I never spoke to them anymore.
My head was swimming when I climbed into the town car at the end of the day, and I barely answered the driver when he spoke to me. Realistically, I knew Daniel would help me figure out a way to deal with any issues that came up. He was highly motivated to ensure the success of our little scheme. But I was still going to worry.
I felt like a zombie for the rest of the night, but of course I couldn't sleep when I finally crawled into bed. When I finally drifted off to sleep, it happened so gradually that I shifted seamlessly from meandering thoughts into a dream.
I was thinking about Daniel, naturally, imagining a conversation we'd have in his office when we next met. But as my brain slowly drifted from sleeping to waking, there was an almost-imperceptible shift in the feeling of the room. I could feel that something was about to happen - something important. He stood up and walked out from behind his desk, coming towards me. I thought he was speaking - something about my "marital duties," with a wicked smile on his face. Every nerve in my body was tingling with anticipation by the time he touched me. His fingers burned a trail down the side of my face, to my neck, to my chest, and suddenly I was laid out on the top of his desk with my blouse unbuttoned and my skirt riding up my thighs.