Hadley disappeared, and Devon was grateful. She was grateful for the silence and the light that streamed in through the window, signifying it was still daytime. Her bottom lip quivered as she scooted up against the headboard, letting the chills work their way out of her body.
She had been having nightmares all week, the most vivid ones she had ever had in her entire life. Every morning, she had woken up more exhausted than when she had went to bed, like she had been running a marathon instead of sleeping for eight hours. She felt beyond dehydrated, and her head constantly ached.
Devon had taken to napping during the day, so she could sleep less at night to avoid dreaming. Until today, the nightmares had never come for her while she was napping.
Hadley reappeared in the doorway with a glass of water. She carefully handed it to Devon, looking really freaked out. Devon felt bad about the whole situation. She took a few sips of the water, feeling the ice-cold liquid slide down her throat and coat her stomach.
“Sooo…are you okay?” Hadley asked, repeating her question.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Devon said reflexively.
“Bad dream?” Hadley asked, clearly not buying her statement.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember,” Devon lied. She couldn’t tell Hadley what she had been seeing day in and day out; that would only raise questions. Devon didn’t know what all the dreams were about, but she had a clue. And if she had a clue, Hadley could fathom a guess as well.
Hadley gave her a perplexed look. With a sigh, she nodded. “Alright. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I’ve just never seen you like this. You’ve never had nightmares before, did you?”
What could Devon say? Hadley had lived with her for two-and-a-half years, and Hadley knew her like no one else. Devon could only hold up pretenses for so long.
“No,” Devon finally answered. “I didn’t have them before. They’re new.”
“When did they start?” Hadley asked like an overindulgent parent.
“I don’t know,” Devon said, looking down. She knew perfectly well when they had started, but she wasn’t about to spill.
“Well, I hope they stop. It’s not healthy,” Hadley said, standing. She seemed resigned to let Devon off the hook.
“I hope they stop, too,” Devon agreed with a tentative smile.
“We’re leaving for the party soon. I was about to get dressed. See you in a bit.” Hadley walked out of the room, leaving Devon in peace.
Devon sighed, sitting back against the headboard. She closed her eyes, submitting to the darkness. How could this keep happening? When she had left, she thought the dreams would go away. She had hoped that maybe she made the right decision, so they would stop entirely. Instead, they had done the opposite.
Peeling her eyes open, she finished off the rest of the water Hadley had given her and walked into the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes, tossing them into a basket next to the toilet, and then she turned on the shower as hot as it would go. She ran a brush through her tangled hair until it was free of knots as the room thickened with steam. All she wanted to do was scald away the memories of someone’s eyes on her, the desperation of the chase, and the nauseating feel of the person’s grip on her arm.
She stepped into the water, hissing as it touched her skin. The water felt like needles piercing through her skin wherever it touched her. It hurt. She couldn’t deny that it hurt, but the pain felt like home. And so, instead of turning down the heat, she succumbed to it.
Her hair soaked through as she finally edged her body back into the blistering water. Closing her eyes, she let the water slowly rake over her face, rush down her front, and pool at her feet. At least in here, she only felt the pain from the water. A pain she could endure.
Devon turned, facing the stream of water. She pressed her forehead against the cool ceramic shower wall, and she let the water flow down her back as rivulets from her wet hair ran over her chest. She sighed and allowed her mind to forget.
Her hand trailed down her front to the heat between her legs. She tentatively brushed her fingers up against herself, testing to see how sensitive the heated water made her. Her body jerked lightly at the touch…even more sensitive than she would have thought. It was a welcome touch. Her body hadn’t had any release in a long time…too long.
Devon bit her lip as she slid her finger across the wet surface, spreading and delving in. Her mind raced as her finger came out slick and ready. Her body tightened fractionally as she moved across the soft area, one digit slipping in and out teasingly.
Her breathing slowed, and her core pulsed as she thought about someone gripping her in all the right ways. Her mind traveled to a distant place, far away from the life she was living.
He grabbed both of her arms and pushed her onto the bed, spreading her legs wide for his enjoyment. She smiled up at him, waiting for him to take her. She wanted him. God, she wanted him. Her body heated as he slid his pants to the ground and pushed his way inside.
Devon came in a sputter as the memories and her fingers pushed her over the edge. Her knees weakened, and she hunched over in the shower, panting.
Chapter Six - Signature Room at the 95th
SOME HOURS LATER, Devon was standing at the base of the John Hancock Center, one of the tallest buildings in the world, in downtown Chicago. Looking straight up the glass structure made her stomach flip-flop. The wind was particularly vicious in the Windy City, and Devon was pretty sure the building was visibly swaying.
“You want me to go up there?” Devon asked Hadley and Garrett incredulously.
“It’ll be fun,” Hadley told her reassuringly.
Not that Devon had ever had a particular fear of heights, but tempting fate didn’t seem like fun by any stretch of the imagination. Her face must have shown her disbelief because Hadley wound her arm around Devon’s, pulling her toward the entrance.
“Come on, Dev,” Garrett said, taking the lead. “You’ll like the bar, and you can’t even tell it’s swaying when you’re up there.”
Devon’s face paled.
“Garrett!” Hadley said, swatting at him.
He chuckled and ducked away from her.
“I want you to have a good time, and you’ve never been here. I mean, when are you going to be in Chicago again?” Hadley asked her.
Devon bit her lip and diverted her eyes, avoiding the question. She still needed to figure out how to have that conversation with Hadley.
“Plus, I’ve been working so much this week, and we haven’t really spent much time together. Come hang out with me like old times,” Hadley pleaded, widening her eyes.
“I want to hang out with you. I’d just prefer to do it somewhere…I can’t die,” Devon said, looking back up at the building.
“You won’t die!” Hadley rolled her eyes. “Garrett and I will be there to take care of you in case you feel like you might die. Plus, Brennan will be there, too, I think…if we can pin him down to anything. I mean, you like Brennan, right?”
Devon swallowed. “Yeah, he’s alright,” she said dismissively.
She had spent the last week in Jenn’s Restaurant, eating burgers and occasionally taking shots of tequila. Brennan had been there every day, except Monday, just like he had said. He had usually left her in peace while she went through pictures on her phone or scribbled away in her notebook. Sometimes, he had come over to talk to her, but only when it had seemed she was deepest in thought over something else. She had the hardest time pinning down what it was about him that she liked so much.
“Well, see, this will be perfect. The building has been standing since the ’60s. I don’t think we’ll have a problem tonight,” Hadley told her, shoving her inside.
Garrett veered them toward the elevators, and they waited a couple minutes for it to reach their floor.
How long do I have to be in that thing? Devon wondered.
When the elevator doors finally opened, they rushed inside. Devon looked around skeptically while Hadley pressed the button for the 95th floor. The elevator shot up like a bullet, leaving Devon’s stomach floors below them. Her ears popped uncomfortably as she tried to ignore the headache that was a constant on her temples since she had awoken from her nightmare.
She closed her eyes, feeling the pressure all around her as the elevator ascended, and then it slowed, coming to a gradual stop before pinging open on their floor. Devon tentatively walked out into the Signature Room at the 95th, the John Hancock Center bar and restaurant. She half expected the ground to shake beneath her, but it was completely solid, no swaying or anything. She felt better about that at least.
The room was open and spacious. A long bar took up the far wall, and black tables and chairs were already crowded. The real view lay beyond the bar itself. Floor-to-ceiling glass walls showed off a spectacular view of Chicago and Lake Michigan as far as the eye could see.
Garrett gestured to the right, claiming it had the better view, and they nudged through a small crowd to gain seats near the window. Devon walked right up to the glass and stared out at the city lit up a thousand feet below her. She drank in the sight, wanting to remember what it felt like to be on top of the world.
Devon pulled out her phone and snapped a few shots, wishing she had something better to take pictures with. Her camera phone just wasn’t doing the view justice, but then again, maybe nothing ever could.
“Want me to take a picture of you?” Garrett offered, standing next to her.
Devon shook her head. “No, thanks. The view is good enough.”
“You have something against getting your picture taken?” He crossed his arms, turning his attention away from the window to her.
“No, I just don’t need my face plastered in front of something so exquisite. How could I ever measure up?” She gave him a soft smile.
Garrett had been unconditionally kind since she had arrived. He had allowed her to stay in the guest bedroom of his apartment for an entire week. He had taken care of her when she had been sick, and he had shown her around the city. They had gotten lunch a few times before he had to go to work. One night, she had fallen asleep while watching reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway? After he had gotten home late from work, Garrett had woken her up and ushered her into bed. They had repeated their excursion to the park complete with Popsicles another time when Hadley had been working. Devon found that even though she hadn’t spoken to Garrett about why she had left, he had pried open her shell, and she was able to relax around him. She knew why Hadley liked him so much.
“I think this blonde runs a little too deep,” Garrett said, deflecting the question.
“How original. A blonde joke,” Devon responded, rolling her eyes.
“I doubt you have one picture of yourself in Chicago. How will anyone believe you were actually here?” Garrett asked.
I hope no one ever does, she thought.
Devon just shrugged. She couldn’t tell him that.
“Have it your way. What do you want to drink? I’m going to the bar,” he told her with a smile.
“Gin and tonic would be great. Do you need some cash?” she asked, reaching into her purse.