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Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1) Page 1
Author: K.A. Linde

Wake me up, I've been dreaming,

Because I haven't heard from you in days.

Hazy now, this fog just follows me around,

And it's only you that burns it away.

- Cartel "The Perfect Mistake"

* * *

Chapter 1: Present

Vibrations reverberated throughout the miniscule apartment. The sound dulled and then died, not even registering on the tiny figure wrapped in a heap of hand-me-down quilts her grandmother had sewn together during the Great Depression. Winter was far from blowing in on Manhattan Island, but that never stopped Lexi from surrounding herself with a little piece of home. Again, the electronic noise pierced the early morning silence. She groaned, nearly rolling off the twin sized bed. Her hand fumbled clumsily for the alarm clock, slamming on the snooze button several times before realizing that the damn thing wasn't even plugged in let alone set for an early Saturday morning wake-up call.

She peeled her eyes open searching desperately for the obnoxious noise before zeroing in on her crummy old cell phone. It was situated between a box of old photographs, last night's cup of coffee, and her laptop, which had turned itself off when she hadn't been kind enough to plug it in for the night. She stared across the room debating whether this or anything else was important enough to get out of her cozy nook this early on a Saturday morning as the third ring blared through the apartment. Shoving the covers off of her bare legs, she painstakingly stumbled out of bed, immediately stubbing her big toe on her nightstand. Swear words escaped her mouth and she barely kept from falling over as pain shot through her toe. Reaching out for the cell phone, she extended her arm and barely saved it before it vibrated over the side of the cluttered desk.

"Mmm hmm?" she mumbled groggily into her phone before succumbing to the throbbing pressure in her foot, and collapsing on the grey area rug she had borrowed indefinitely from her college roommate when she had moved out.

"Lexi." It was a statement not a question. The voice was vaguely familiar almost seductive, but it was ridiculously early so she wasn't going to blame herself for not immediately recognizing the deep masculine tone.

Lexi pulled the phone from her ear and looked at the time. She groaned when she saw it was only six; four hours before she had to be awake. The number glaring blindly from the screen wasn't programmed into her phone, but this came as no surprise. She had accidentally dropped her phone in a toilet two months earlier when left alone in a nightclub. The phone had miraculously survived, but none of her numbers had. She had spent the next week recovering: the numbers and consciousness.

The fact that she didn't recognize the number wasn't what perplexed her, but that it wasn't a local New York area code. Strangely enough, it was an Atlanta area code, and the only people she still talked to from home were her parents. When she had replaced the numbers in her phone, she hadn't retained a single Atlanta phone number other than those. After moving to New York two years ago, she had tried to let go of her past and move on to what she hoped would be a bright future.

"Lexi, are you there?" the unidentified voice repeated into the phone. "I know…"

"Who is calling?" she asked cutting him off abruptly mid-sentence. "Do you realize it's six o'clock in the morning on Saturday?" she questioned mystery man further. "Some people do like to sleep in," she spoke sharply into the cell phone adjusting her seat so as to assess the extent of her injury.

"Yeah, look, I'm sorry," he implored her. "I didn't mean to bother you. I would have never called if I didn't absolutely have to. I feel really bad about this Lexi. I hope you aren't still angry at me, but I really did have to call you," he said sincerely.

She almost felt bad for speaking so severely to him especially since she was too groggy to recognize the voice. And to be honest, she thought he sounded a little pathetic. She rubbed her tired eyes before allowing herself to speak again. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Who did you say this was again?" There was silence on the other line. She sighed heavily knowing that silence meant that this wasn't going to be someone she wanted to speak with. "Look I dropped my phone and it erased all of my contacts. You're not in my phone."

Silence ensued on the other line before he emitted a tiny sigh and said, "Lex, it's Jack."

Chill bumps broke across her arms and neck as his name registered and she was able to finally place the voice. The sound of her heart palpitating inside her chest could be heard out the door, down the hall and quite possibly outside in the nearby construction zone through the jackhammer slamming against the concrete…not to mention through the phone. Her mouth felt like she had been chewing on chalk all night and her stomach had suddenly been assaulted by butterflies whacking their tiny wings violently against her insides. All she could do was cough in disbelief. Her mind was whirling with indescribable possibilities for the purpose of his phone call - each new idea seemingly more ridiculous than the last.

Deep down, she knew her reaction was not only uncharacteristic of her usual cool demeanor, but also completely uncalled for. So what if she hadn't heard a word from him since their last encounter over a year and a half ago? That didn't mean that he couldn't drop her a line at six o'clock in the morning on a random Saturday. After all, they had been friends…of sorts for nearly six years now.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have called so early. I didn't mean to intrude," he said quickly.

She was terrified that he might hang up after only a few short minutes of his time. "What? No. Of course you're not intruding. I just wasn't expecting…well you. I wasn't expecting you," she could hear how breathy and uneven her voice had gotten and wanted to kick herself with her hurt toe for being such a girl sometimes.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I've been out of touch." She didn't even want to think about what would happen if he had meant to be out of touch. Maybe he never would have called her again. "It's just that I need you."

She froze not able to comprehend what she had just heard. Her mind poured over the countless possible interpretations of this statement. "You what?"

"I mean, I need you here."

Her eyes bulged out. She could feel them drying out, but somehow couldn't bring herself to blink. She couldn't process what he was saying. He needed her? Not just needed her, but needed her there with him. Needed her home. She shook her head realizing she must be misunderstanding him. There was no way that after everything that had happened between them that he would ever call her like this. "I'm sorry…what?"

"I'm not getting this out right. It's kind of hard to explain. Do you have a minute?"

She glanced around her tiny room watching as specks of light began to filter in through the window. She visualized her planner, which was filled to the brim with meetings and luncheons Monday through Friday, and then her measly Saturday with only a haircut for company. All she had was time. "It's six o'clock in the morning. No sane person has plans this early on a Saturday. Go ahead Jack," she said letting his name roll off her tongue the same way he had…she stopped herself. No point in letting her mind venture there.

"Are you sitting down? This is kind of a strange story."

"Uh…yeah I am," she said glancing around her tiny apartment. Her bedroom walls were covered in cracking soft green paint that had probably been there since the dawn of time, and a collage of hooks and holes from previous tenants. Her floor was scattered with dirty laundry and destroyed textbooks. The sparse amount of furniture she had been able to haul up the seven daunting flights of stairs still managed to make the space look cluttered, something she had never quite been able to figure out. "So…uh…what is this strange story?"

"Okay well just hear me out, because I promise I wouldn't have called and bothered you if it wasn't for a reason I thought was worthwhile." He sucked in a long deep breath before continuing. "I've been dating this girl back home for nearly a year and a half," he began coughing a little at the length of time that they had been together. "She's really great. Actually, I think ya'll would get along. Anyway, she is really into uh…marriage. She talks about marriage all the time. It's like the girl was born to get married," he said all in rapid succession. "And…well…you know me."

She did know him. He despised the idea of marriage. The idea of being tied down to one person suffocating under the monogamous bonds forced upon you by a legally binding document. Knowing that after that moment, there was no turning back except, of course, for divorce. She was pretty sure that the only thing he hated more than marriage was the idea of divorce. Breaking up was disparaging enough without the added effect of divvying up possessions, possibly children, moving out, starting a new life, and not to mention court fees, custody battles, and worst of all, lawyers. She giggled a little on the inside at that last thought. "Yeah, I know. Mr. Anti-Commitment," she said only half-joking.

He breathed out heavily. "Well now that you mention that, that's kind of what it all boils down to."

"What? The fact that you have the capability of convincing and persuading women for an indefinite amount of time to hold out for you until you break their hearts?" she asked coldly. Really, she had no idea where this was leading. Why was he talking to her, of all people, about possibly marrying his girlfriend? He hadn't spoken to her in ages, and she was pretty sure her opinion on marriage was irrelevant to his decision. After all, her opinions on relationships, in general, had always been irrelevant.

"Yeah," he replied very softly into the phone. She almost hadn't heard him. "Yeah, that's what this is about." She waited for him to elaborate. After a brief pause, he began to explain the mess he had gotten himself into. "My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to marry her. Not like a proposal or anything," he quickly corrected, "more like a question to see where our relationship was headed. I didn't have an answer for her. I mean what kind of guy has an answer for that? But as you know…I mean because of my parents…the thought of marriage tends to make me run head first in the opposite direction. She pinned me down though, and said she would leave me that second if I didn't have an answer for her. That really took me off guard."

Lexi felt like she was sitting on the edge of her seat about to witness a train wreck. Any girl who had ever tried to pin him down for anything experienced instant rejection like a blow to the face.

"So I told her that was what I wanted."

"What?" she couldn't help asking helplessly into the phone. "You told her you wanted to marry her?" Her mouth was dropped open forming a little oh of disbelief.

He chuckled a little at her reaction. "I told her that I could see myself marrying her, but that I didn't want to commit to it just yet especially since we had only been dating for a year and a half. Luckily, she took that as a positive answer and didn't break up with me. Then comes the part of the story where you come in."

"Me? I don't see how I could possibly come into a story about you marrying someone else. What we went through wasn't exactly marriage potential Jack. It's not like I can tell you what you should do in the situation," she said jumping the gun before she would let him ask for any advice.

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K.A. Linde's Novels
» Following Me
» Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)
» Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2)
» Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)
» Avoiding Decisions (Avoiding #1.5)
» Avoiding Intimacy (Avoiding #2.5)