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Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2) Page 78
Author: K.A. Linde

She didn't want Bekah and Jack to marry…that much she knew. But after all that, she still hadn't told her the terrible awful thing that they had done in the hallway. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Not only was it humiliating that she had been bitchy enough…and desperate enough to actually sleep with him, but he had been so cruel and cold to her afterwards. He had kept his distance as if the only thing he had been after was the sex, and once he had it he was through with her. She had never felt so low…so used. Her self-worth had plummeted that night, and she didn't want anyone other than Chyna to know that.

Even after that when she had finally begun to recover, she hadn't blurted the news to Bekah. When Bekah had pulled out that big honking diamond…Lexi's diamond, she still had kept quiet. After she even told Bekah that she was wearing a fake ring…for Christ's sake the woman was wearing a fake diamond ring. She was told she was planning to marry a guy who had given her a ring that was intended for someone else entirely, and yet she had still continued with the wedding. Even after all that, Lexi had still kept the truth from her.

Only one reason remained for that.

Lexi knew it…deep down. Even if she hated admitting it to herself, she knew the reason for keeping the secret from a person she despised.

She didn't want them to break up because Jack had cheated with her. She had wanted Jack to break up with Bekah for her. She had wanted to see Bekah's sniveling little face when she realized she had lost…that she had actually lost in her own web of games.

More than ever she wanted to be the reason for the break up on Jack's end, not Bekah's. But now that reason was morphing into something she liked even better. She no longer wanted to see the wedding canceled so she could finally claim Jack for her own.

No.

She wanted it to be canceled so that when Jack came crawling back to her, as he always did, she could tell him no. She could be the one to turn him down. She could be the one to leave him hanging. She could be the one to choose.

Lexi knew that it was sinister to even harbor those thoughts. She knew it was wrong to keep a secret for so long especially one so revealing to Bekah and Jack's relationship, but she couldn't help it. She had done it at first to have Jack for the right reasons, whatever those were, and now she wanted to keep it in hopes that one day she would be able to turn the tables on him.

But how could she explain that to anyone? Clearly Chyna had blurted it out because she was pissed off with Lexi. She hadn't thought of the consequences of revealing that piece of information.

Within a few hours, Jack and Bekah were supposed to be getting married. If she had been in Bekah's position, she would have wanted to know everything about the person she was marrying. But would she ever really want to know this? Could you ever really be prepared for such deceit?

She had been on the wrong end of Jack's cheating before, and she knew what it felt like. She had been depressed for months…years. She hadn't been the same person until she had finally allowed herself to begin to move on. And they hadn't even been officially together…they certainly hadn't been engaged and about to be married. Lexi had no idea what could possibly be going on in Bekah's head at the moment. How could you move on from that moment?

"Is that true?" Bekah whispered turning to Lexi for confirmation.

"Bekah, how could you even think that I would do that?" Jack asked reaching for her. Bekah slipped away from him, and moved to stand in front of Lexi.

"You at least owe me an explanation," Bekah said standing squarely in front of Lexi with her hands on her hips. Her eyes were large like saucers as they stared deeply into Lexi awaiting an answer.

"I don't think I owe you anything Bekah," Lexi said with a shrug.

"Bekah, seriously?" Jack asked moving closer to her again.

"Ramsey!" Bekah snapped completely ignoring Jack's pleas. "How are you so quiet? How are you not shocked at this news? Just think if she could do it then, she can do it now. After all, she just slept with someone else!"

Lexi glanced over at Ramsey to see his reaction to this ordeal. She bit down on her lip slightly as a worry line creased her forehead. Bekah's accusations never sat lightly with Ramsey, and Lexi was terrified that any headway they had made this week would be stalled by Bekah's insinuations.

"I'm quiet, because unlike you Bekah I prefer to think before I speak," Ramsey said straight-faced and even-toned.

"What?" she demanded, sinking into one hip as if she hadn't heard him correctly. Lexi wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly.

"You heard me. You don't think before you accuse people of terrible things. You don't think before you try to use your manipulative ways to ruin other people's lives," he said.

"Ramsey!" she yelped.

Ramsey cut her off. "You think I didn't know that she slept with Jack?"

Lexi tried to cover her shock. She had never told Ramsey about that night. She couldn't bring herself to reveal what a terrible person she had been. He knew everything else about her relationship, but she honestly hadn't wanted anyone else to know.

She wasn't sure if he was just lying about knowing or if he was just trying to cover up for her. Either way she was immensely happy that he was standing up for her…that he was telling Bekah off. It meant, at least she hoped it meant that they were that much closer to being on the right track.

"You knew?" Bekah gasped.

"What the fuck?" Jack cried shaking his head. "That didn't happen."

"Jack, just shut up," Ramsey said silencing his outburst with a glare. "We all know. It's not like Lexi is denying it."

"Lex?" Jack pleaded, somehow thinking using her pet name would help him win his case. Lexi could see him imploring her with his big blue eyes. He wanted her to save him after everything that he had done. He wanted her to lie for him one last time. It's like he had forgotten that she had just kicked him in the balls only a short while ago. She hadn't forgotten that he had come onto her on his wedding day. There was no reason whatsoever to lie for him.

And if she hadn't lied to Ramsey about John, she certainly wasn't going to lie about what they had done. Even if Ramsey didn't know the truth about what had happened, Chyna certainly did. Lexi couldn't keep hiding.

"I'm not denying it," she finally answered crossing her arms over her chest. Jack threw up his arms and began pacing the length of the hotel room.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bekah demanded of her brother after Lexi's declaration. Lexi shouldn't have even been surprised that the question wasn't directed at Jack. She hadn't blamed him for anything else that he had done.

"How exactly would I broach the subject?" he asked pointedly. "Hey Bek, did you know that my girlfriend slept with your fiancé? Oh you did? Nice. Well, glad that's out of the way. I wasn't going to ruin your life."

"That's not how it would go and you know it. As my brother you had a right to tell me!"

"Just like you had a right to tell me that you were lie to Lexi about me playing her when we first started dating? Just like you had a right to tell me that you were going to lie to Lexi about my feelings for her? Just like you were going to leave her alone and not try to ruin our relationship?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest. "Tell me Bekah…why exactly do I owe you anything as my sister?"

"How dare you!" Bekah piped up. "I only did what was in your best interest. You clearly care none for mine."

Ramsey chuckled and shook his head. "Whatever Bek. But just to clarify, in case you weren't following along. Lexi slept with Jack before we were together, and she slept with someone else after we broke up. While I hate the thought of anyone else ever touching her again," he said openly glaring at Jack, "the woman has a point. She never cheated on me, and I don't think she ever intended on it. Stop trying to ruin her. Stop trying to ruin our relationship."

Just then the door to the door to the groomsmen suite burst open, and in sauntered Amber, Maddie, and Kersey. Parker stood awkwardly in the door way uncertain whether to take part in what was going on or to make a quick exit. Kersey glanced back when she noticed, and grabbed her rather forcefully for a girl who didn't even reach five feet tall. "Bekah, what are you doing in here?" Amber demanded her eyes wide in surprise that so many people were in the room. "We have been looking for you everywhere. Don't you know it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding." Her thick Southern accent drawled out the last word an unnecessarily long time.

"Yeah honey, let's get out of here," Kersey said openly eyeing Adam up and down like he was something she was going to eat for lunch. Chyna possessively stepped in front of him, and Kersey just shrugged as if that didn't matter.

"Actually we're having a serious problem," Maddie interjected. "We couldn't find you or the wedding planner and the band cancelled."

"What?" Bekah yelled shocked out of her silence for the first time. "I thought you were on this Maddie! Don't you know the lead singer?"

"Well…yeah," she said her cheeks flaming slightly at the mention of the lead singer, "but uh…they're getting really famous, and when I tried to call him about showing up, he said that something came up. He was really vague."

"You promised me that they were going to be here tonight at my reception. Have you had my daddy call their manager or anything?" she demanded instantly turning into Business Bekah.

Maddie shook her head. "No I just tried calling him. He said that he had to go home to Seattle for an emergency, and he was really sorry he couldn't make it. You should have heard his voice…it was practically delectable. God, I can just imagine him with his shirt off all over again with that gorgeous body…"

Bekah waved her off. "Don't even right now Mads. This is serious. I was promised a band, and I don't have a band."

"You still have a DJ," Kersey piped up. "We double booked, remember?"

Bekah shot her a look that would kill. "I don't care if I have a DJ. I want that band here. Find the wedding planner, find my daddy, and make it happen."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…you can't be serious. You're still going to marry him after what you just found out?" Chyna gasped out.

She wasn't the only one who looked shocked either. Lexi, Ramsey, and Adam all held the same blank expressions. Lexi never wanted Bekah to know about what had happened between her and Jack that night. Bekah had won. The sex didn't matter to Jack. She was just another one night stand to him. She had realized that. She had always thought Bekah would leave him if she had found out about what had transpired, and Lexi hadn't done it for that purpose. She had done it thinking Jack would choose her, and he hadn't. But the fact that she wasn't even going to leave him after that just amazed her.

Was this woman who had everything in the world that desperate for someone to care about her that she wouldn't even accept reality? Was she that desperate to get married?

"Of course I'm marrying him," she said through gritted teeth as if it were the most obvious course of action. "The wedding is happening within the hour. Everything is prepared. All the guests are arriving. It's all paid for…"

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K.A. Linde's Novels
» Following Me
» Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)
» Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2)
» Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)
» Avoiding Decisions (Avoiding #1.5)
» Avoiding Intimacy (Avoiding #2.5)