Had there ever been an exceptional circumstance that had brought her back together with Jack or Ramsey? Jack…no. She knew there hadn’t been. They had just kept crossing paths and falling back into bed, drowning in years of lust and love, and they had never been able to tell the other one no. Ramsey…well, she didn’t know. He had lied about so much—Parker…mostly, Parker. But he was trying to change, and his heart was in the right place.
She didn’t even know where to begin.
“So, I’m guessing there isn’t one?” he asked.
“What’s yours?”
“She quoted Oscar Wilde when she asked for us to get back together.”
“What?” Lexi asked. “You’re not serious.”
“No. Though, she did quote Oscar Wilde. Can’t hurt.”
Lexi laughed softly and took a sip of her wine. The waiter returned with the first course, and she picked at the appetizer before her. She didn’t even know what it was, but it was good.
“Oscar Wilde is your exception.”
“The man was a genius. What’s your exception?”
“I don’t have one,” she admitted.
Blue eyes maybe. She almost chuckled to herself at the thought. Stupid f**king blue eyes.
“Everyone has one. You probably just don’t know what it is,” he said, his eyes staring deeply into hers.
“Maybe.” She needed to move forward with this conversation.
She didn’t want him to convince her otherwise about Ramsey. Even if she was having a good time with John, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to be that person again.
“I didn’t really come here to talk about Ramsey.”
“I didn’t either,” he said, leaning forward in his seat. “I came for very different reasons, Lexi.”
Lexi flushed at the implication in his words and the sensual way in which he had said them.
“It’s over, John. I know I led you to believe this could be more than it is, but it isn’t,” she got out quickly. “We had sex—that’s all.”
“Do you think because we only had sex once that it was a one-night stand?” John asked curiously from across the table.
“I, uh…” Lexi said, unsure how to answer. It had been more than a one-night stand, but it couldn’t be anything more than that now.
“I can assure you that neither of us treated this as just a meaningless fuck. You can try to tell yourself that all you want…but you’re just lying to yourself.”
“Look, I don’t think it would be fair—”
“Oh, don’t give me fair,” he said, slamming his hand down on the table. “I don’t want fair!”
Lexi jumped at the fierceness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. He was really serious about all of this. From across the table, she glanced into his eyes and felt the anger simmering just under the surface. John took a breath and reached for her hand. He wrapped his hands over hers as he kept his eyes locked on her gazes.
“You don’t play fair, Lexi. So, why should I?”
“John,” she whispered.
“What has Ramsey ever done to make you want to take him back? Did he fight for you? Did he charm you? Did he make you forget all the reasons you had broken up with him in the first place?” John asked. “Because I’m not going to give you those reasons.”
God, something in all of this felt so…familiar. Maybe it wasn’t the words or the reasons for being here. It was just something in the tone, in his earnestness, in the way the night had progressed. Lexi couldn’t put her finger on it.
She stared at him, trying to decide what it was. He was looking back at her, begging for that chance that she so readily would give away under other circumstances. And yet, she wasn’t giving it to him. She couldn’t. How could she go back on Ramsey after only a week? She couldn’t even consider it.
Ramsey was the right choice. He was the one who she was supposed to be with.
But John didn’t remind her of Ramsey. They were very different people.
Lexi knew then why it all felt so familiar—the tilt of his head, the hidden smile, the gleam in his eyes…everything.
It was Jack.
And John didn’t even have blue eyes!
Lexi sighed heavily. She was over it. She was so over it. She never wanted to be susceptible to this charm again. The reason it had worked with Jack was because they’d had six or seven years of this…whatever. She didn’t even want to finish the thought. Of whatever they’d had. Past tense. They didn’t have it anymore. It was over. He had married the Bitch. Capital B, Bitch. And there was nothing she could do about it—at least not with Jack.
But she could be smarter and stronger with John.
Lexi pulled her hands out of his, tossed her napkin down, and stood. “I need to leave.”
John reached out, grabbing her elbow and keeping her from moving. “Where are you going?”
“I just…you don’t understand what I’ve been through. And you don’t understand what all of this is doing to me.”
“I’d like to know what it’s doing to you,” John said, his eyes traveling up and down her clingy black dress.
“See, that’s exactly it,” she said, taking a seat when people started staring at her. “There’s someone I know who’s a lot like you—who you’ll probably get to meet him now that you’re working on the Bridges medical wing. And…you don’t even compare to him.”
John’s eyes narrowed. The anger flared up easily at the comment. She knew it would. It was harsh.
She pushed forward anyway. “He can look me in the eyes, and I’m putty in his hands. Just one look—that’s all he needs. He doesn’t even need your words,” she said, wanting him to understand. “And I never want to be like that again. It’s destructive, and it’s…wrong for the other people in my life. So, I think I should go. If you think that I’m going to fall at your feet with a few charming words and a smile, you’re sadly mistaken. You’ve got the wrong girl. Because…I’m not that girl anymore.”
John cracked a smile, his arrogance returning. “There’s no comparison. Whatever happened in your past is simply that…your past. If you keep living in it, you’ll always compare—always. But I don’t want the girl who falls at my feet with a smile. There are plenty of those around. I like you—the one who puts up a fight.”
“So, is that it? You just like me for the chase then?” she snarled.
John chuckled. “Baby, I’ve already f**ked you. I won that chase.”
Lexi shook her head. He would get it eventually, but not today. “Sleeping with me was only part of the chase,” she said calmly. “To be honest, I’ve given it up for less. The chase is getting me to commit. While you don’t know my past, the first thing you should know is that I avoid commitment at all costs.”
John didn’t have a charming retort to that.
“Thank you for dinner. I’m sorry I can’t stay,” she said, standing again. “I’m sure I’ll see you again in Atlanta. I hope we can still be civil…under the circumstances.”
With that, she turned and walked right out of the expensive restaurant. She hadn’t even made it past the first course, but she knew that she had made the right choice.
Lexi walked out of the restaurant and pulled her phone out of her purse while she hailed a cab back to her apartment. It rang three times as she tried to get a hold of Chyna. As it had happened every day during the past week, it went straight to voice mail. This time, Lexi knew she needed to leave a message because Chyna needed to hear her what she had to say. And she couldn’t just go over there tonight to tell her.
The voice mail beeped.
“Chyna, it’s Lexi. I guess you probably already knew that. I just wanted to call to tell you that you were right. It was a date, and I didn’t want to see it. I guess I don’t normally want to see things that you point out. So…sorry,” Lexi said with a sigh. “I left. I just walked out. You mean more to me than any guy could ever mean to me. I hope you call me back, and we can work this out. Anything that has happened isn’t worth losing you. You’re the one thing that I can’t replace. It seems like there are always guys around but never friends—not like you. I’ll never find another friend like you, Chyna. So, I know this is kind of a long voice mail. I just wanted to tell you that you were right and that I’m sorry. I just hope we can move past this. So, call me back, chica. I love you. Bye.”
Chapter 5
“You’re sure you’re ready?” Ramsey asked for what felt like the hundredth time.
“Yes,” Lexi said. She smoothed out her burgundy sundress and then looked up into his green eyes. “I’m ready.”
“Then, we should probably get going.”
“All right.”
Lexi grabbed a cardigan and then followed Ramsey out of their apartment and into his Mercedes. They were having brunch with his family at the country club to break the news to them about their engagement. Lexi had called her parents the day after speaking with Jack about his divorce. She couldn’t hold out any longer, and she didn’t want Ramsey to think that she was purposely holding off. She wasn’t.
She thought it might have been nice to invite them to the country club to find out at the same time as Ramsey’s parents, but then Lexi was afraid it might seem strange. Her family came from a completely different world. She doubted her parents would be any more comfortable with the lifestyle than Lexi was.
She still hadn’t spoken with Chyna though. Her reaction would cement this all into reality. Even though she was wearing the big, sparkly diamond ring on her left ring finger, it still felt like someone else’s fantasy.
Her eyes wandered to the ring, and she sighed softly. Jack didn’t know about the ring either. There was no way she could have told him after pulling the ring off her finger when she had seen him. She still felt a little sick about the fact that she hadn’t had the guts to wear it around him.
But then, he had gone and pulled out f**king divorce papers. What was she supposed to do with that? Nothing. She wasn’t supposed to do anything with that. She would find him a good divorce attorney and let him get himself out of his own mess. She didn’t want to be involved with any of that—not if she wanted to keep her sanity.
Telling Ramsey about the divorce had been even more awkward than when Jack had told her about it. Ramsey’s family was actually inherently against divorce. His parents had stayed together through really hard times, and even when they wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed, they had worked it out. Ramsey had been shocked, and considering his family, it was pretty shocking.
But…it was also Bekah. She did whatever the f**k she wanted. The only thing she cared about was herself. Since she was the one claiming Jack had cheated on her, she would play the victim until the very end.
What Jack’s attorney would need to do was make her look the opposite and show Bekah for who she really was. Jack would never come out ahead if Bekah made everyone feel sorry for her.