“The journey did you well.”
I raised a brow. “How do you figure?”
“Some metal, inferior metal, will break if you attempt to smelt and refine it. Quality steel only becomes finer and sharper.”
“That might make sense, if I were a weapon.”
He smiled then. “But, querida . . . you are.”
I ignored that, despite the shiver of dread it raised on my spine. I’d wondered before if the blade in my side was shaping my decisions, turning me into a killer suited to its use. “Am I free to go? Can you get me to the border and give me bus fare?”
“I treat my allies far better than that,” he said gently. “But I see you’ve lost your protective charm. That’s probably why you had demons. I’ll give you another—please try to be more careful with it, and don’t remove it until I tell you.”
“Until we’ve laid the trap.”
“Yes. It will drive Montoya mad when his sorcerer fails . . . and fails and fails. He’ll contact you, if I know him at all. He’ll try to draw you into the open.”
“And I’ll go,” I said softly.
“But of course. You’ll insist on a face-to-face to settle things. He’ll see it as very Wild West. He likes that. If you live, I’ll pay you handsomely.” When he finished, he gave me his back.
Clearly dismissed, I strode toward the door. Paolo opened it. In one hand he held an amulet similar to the one I’d worn before. This one whispered of a different caster; I listened to its secrets with half an ear as I looped it around my neck.
“Aren’t you worried that the time I’ve spent in this house will lead Montoya right here?”
Paolo shook his head, smiling with patient amusement. “The whole place is warded. I’m surprised you can’t feel it.”
Now that he mentioned it, I could. Little tingles of energy struck my feet as I walked, as if the floor itself had been laid with magickal energy. Though I cringed at the notion of getting on another plane, I was so eager to get to Shannon, Jesse, Eva, Butch, and Chuch that I’d run all the way to Texas.
“Where’s Kel?”
“Your companion is waiting for you in the kitchen. I have instructions to feed you both and then have our pilot take you to Laredo.”
I didn’t want food. I wanted to leave. But since I needed Kel before making my escape, I followed Paolo through the winding halls.
Kel sat with a plate untouched before him, and he glanced up as I came through the swinging door. The kitchen was as large as one might expect, but emptier. The space echoed, and there were no servants to be seen. For a nonsensical moment, I wondered if this mansion was like that haunted castle, where common household furnishings came to life to tend the beast.
“Are you ready?” I asked him.
He stared at Paolo until the boy shifted uncomfortably. “Give us a moment.”
With alacrity astonishing in one who had surely grown immune to intimidation, Paolo disappeared the way we’d come. I stood still, not knowing what to expect. He rose and crossed the floor to me. They’d given him black to wear; doubtless the outfit belonged to one of the burly henchmen.
“You look lovely.” And he seemed surprised to hear the words, as if he had meant to say something else. Kel stopped just short of touching me.
“Thanks.” That was why I’d worn the dress, after all, but I felt stupid, trying to please him as if he were the kind of man who could be swayed by such things.
“He’s sworn to protect you?”
“Mission accomplished,” I answered, lifting the amulet.
“I have a new one. It’s supposed to last until we’re ready to deal with Montoya.”
“Ah,” he said, and a whisper of regret salted the syllable.
My breath hitched. “No.”
“The risk fades to acceptable levels once you secure the alliance with Escobar. You’ve done so. My mission is ended.” He was so terribly gentle. “I will not be going with you any farther.”
“New orders?”
“Yes.”
Maybe they’d demanded he depart already. He had places to go and people to kill. I appreciated him sticking around to say good-bye; that might even be borderline disobedience, the sort of thing that earned him castigation before. I wouldn’t make it worse for him, even if tears clotted my throat.
I managed a light tone. “Maybe our paths will cross again someday.”
“Perhaps. You do attract trouble.” He hesitated, then took my hand. “I can’t promise. I may never be sent to you again.”
The faintest stress on the word sent made me furrow my brow as I gazed up at him. My mind was tired or I would’ve caught on right away. A smile built when it dawned on me. Both Kel and Caim had named me Binder. If I’d called him once, I could do so again. Only one thing must I remember: I could call and call and call him, but he could never stay.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I must go.”
The request burst from me before I knew I meant to make it. “One kiss?”
Keepsake, memento, something. Please. Ease my way into this good-bye.
In answer, he dipped his head and brushed my mouth with his. I felt as though the heat of him would melt my bones with the aching. And then he stepped away. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see him go. A word drifted back to me, lower than a whisper—a sigh. I thought I’d heard it the night before, but he hadn’t spoken it to me then, not when he knew me, at least, and even now I wasn’t sure.
Hours later, I sat in an impersonal motel room in Laredo. Since it was late, I wouldn’t call the others to come get me yet. Not until I had a chance to sort these feelings and seal them away.
With keyboard in my lap, I sat cross-legged on the bed at three a.m., Googling old Babylonian words on the inroom television. Apparently, dādu meant beloved, and Asherah had been the Assyrian goddess of desire.
I wept.
The Day After
First thing in the morning, my phone rang. I’d almost forgotten Escobar had given it back to me. I glanced at the number and, with a flicker of relief, identified my caller.
“Jesse.”
When he was worried, his drawl became more pronounced, and he sounded like pure Texas just now. “I’d love to know what’s goin’ on with you, sugar.”
Good—he didn’t know about what had happened at the shop. I hoped Shannon wouldn’t say anything before tonight; I’d feel better telling him in person. “Things are . . . complicated.”
“Are you safe?” His cop mind sorted the probabilities faster than I wanted. “Does this have to do with Montoya?”
That was like asking a mouse in the gullet of a cobra how its day was going, but he didn’t need to know that. “Yeah . . . and yeah. I’ll see you tonight at Chuch and Eva’s if you’re not doing anything. We’ll talk about everything then.”
He laughed. “The woman I want to see hits town and you ask if I can make room in my schedule? I think I’m offended.”
Jesse wanted me to move to Texas and rejoin the America he called home. He wanted me to get an apartment and meet his family. I know he foresaw Fourth of July barbecues and Thanksgiving dinners, wherein he could show me what I’d missed.
I knew I had trust issues, but part of me wasn’t sure he could accept what I was doing to ensure my own survival. His sense of morality wasn’t fluid; he came from a bedrocksolid foundation, and he’d never slept in a bus station. It’d be better if I could look into his eyes and explain what I’d done, along with the choices I’d made. If he cared about me as much as he claimed, he’d understand the necessity.
“Well, I didn’t want to assume.” There were no promises between us, so he might’ve had plans. He had a way with the ladies, and I didn’t expect him to change his life unless I showed up in Laredo, ready to open a shop and commit to a relationship.
“You caught me on a free night,” he admitted then. “I’ll be there.”
Once we disconnected, I checked out and went out front to wait for Shannon. She arrived twenty minutes later.
“Where’s Kel?” Shan asked as I got in the car.
Chuch had sent her to pick me up in one of his spares. This one was a half-restored but functional 1972 Dodge Charger. She looked fine, healthy, and her black hair sported new pink tips on the bottom. God, I hoped she had my purse. I hadn’t seen it—or Butch—since Escobar took me.
I swallowed hard. “Gone.”
“He bailed on you?” Her expression darkened.
“He saw me through what he needed to. Please don’t blame him. He reports to a higher authority.” Whatever else had come of this, I believed in his orders.
The Charger peeled out of the parking lot. It wasn’t the same shitty La Quinta I’d stayed in when I was here with Chance, but all cheap motels more or less looked the same. Escobar’s men had given me a small wad of bills, payment for my time, and dropped me off at one they knew accepted cash. Since I didn’t have any ID on me, it had to be a place like that.
“Someone in the backseat wants to say hi.”
I slid my knee up on the seat so I could twist at the waist. Butch popped out of my purse, which was lying on the backseat, and gave a happy little bark with his tail wagging in excitement. I reached for him and cuddled him to my chest. He licked my face and hands, vibrating doggy Morse code for, Dude, I missed you; where you have you been? For long moments I just petted him and tried to let go of the surreal quality of the past days.
Maybe that was the best attitude to take. It wasn’t real. None of it was real. Therefore, I couldn’t miss him.
Shannon drove while I cuddled an ecstatic Butch. Her familiarity impressed me. Clearly she hadn’t spent her time sitting around Chuch’s house all day. “I’ve been helping Eva,” she explained. “Running errands. Grocery shopping. You wouldn’t believe how cranky and tired she is.”
By my reckoning, she must be more than eight months along by now, so I would. “I’m glad you’re both okay.” I included Butch in the word both by rubbing my chin against his head. Wag, wag, wag. His tail thumped against my arm.
“They’re great,” she said, smiling. “I mean, I felt weird at first, but Chuch said, ‘Any friend of Corine’s,’ and they just took me in, no questions asked.”
“That sounds like him.” My throat felt choky. It wasn’t like me to get tearful so fast; life had given me a harder shell than that, but I’d seen and suffered too much in the past few days, so my emotions bobbed near the surface. “Would you rather stay? I mean, Eva will need help after the baby comes.”
At this point, I didn’t know where I was going, if I would survive the encounter with Montoya. I touched the pendant I wore, ostensibly to protect me from being located by Montoya’s sorcerer. For all I knew, it could also compel my loyalty or give me plantar warts.
My mother would’ve known.
There was no guarantee I’d ever be able to repair the shop. No guarantee of anything, really, and part of me thought Shannon should stay with Chuch and Eva, where she’d be safe. They offered the family warmth she needed.