“Are you humming?”
“Maybe.” Crap, I hadn't realized I was doing that out loud.
He laughed and ripped off his gloves while rummaging through a drawer. Walking back to me, he handed me his iPhone and a pair of headphones. “You're doing great, I'll be done soon.” He pressed his lips to my neck and went back to work.
The music ended up being a great distraction from the steamy scenarios that were flashing through my mind, but more than once he had to put a hand on my upper thigh to get me to stop keeping time with the bass, and that would start the scenarios all over again. My hip was so numb I didn't realize Chase was done until he placed a quick kiss to my lips. My eyes shot open and I ripped out the ear buds.
“Am I still moving too much?”
“No Princess, I'm all done.” His smile and the way his eyes were shining made my heart squeeze. “Are you ready to see it?”
“You have no idea!”
He chuckled and shook his head slightly, “Close your eyes again, I'll let you open them when we're next to the mirror.”
He placed his hand on my right hip, grabbed my left hand and walked me a few feet away. Turning my body slightly he whispered into my ear, “Open your eyes Harper.”
The first thing I saw was his anxious expression in the mirror. He was worrying his lip waiting for my reaction. I inhaled quickly and his body locked up when I looked down to my left side. It was beautiful. There were four large orange lilies wrapped around my hip, and I couldn't believe how amazing they looked. I stepped closer and took in the perfect shading and detail to each flower. From the sketches I'd looked at and his drawing of me, I had known Chase was amazing, but I'd never thought he could make something like this look so real. His forced swallow was audible, and I realized I still hadn't said anything. But there were absolutely no words. First my ring, and now this? Did anything get past him? I turned to face him and ran a hand through his messy hair.
“Please tell me what you're thinking.”
Unfortunately, I wasn't. I crushed my mouth to his and he quickly deepened the kiss. Right away the other tattoo artists started hooting and yelling for us to get a room. I pulled back and knew there was nothing I could do about the deep blush on my face. Chase led me back to his table and put ointment and a wrap over my tattoo before fixing my shirt, he was all smiles.
“What made you choose those?”
He beamed his white smile at me, “I heard you talking to Bree and Mom about them being your favorite. And ever since that day all I've wanted to do was get you orange lilies, but I knew I'd probably get punched again. This was my way around it.”
“It looks amazing Chase, thank you.”
He shrugged, but he still couldn't contain that smile.
“I'm serious.” I grabbed his face with both hands and brought him close, “I love it, thank you.”
Chase kissed me once and skimmed his nose across my cheek. “God, you're beautiful Harper.”
My phone rang then, Brandon's name flashed on the screen. “Hey babe.”
“Hey, how's the tattoo look?”
“Um, it's not done yet, can I call you after?”
“I'm going out with some buddies from high school, I'll just talk to you tomorrow, kay? But send me a picture when it's done. I love you.”
My stomach clenched, “I love you too. Have fun tonight.” I pressed the end button and looked up at Chase's closed off expression. “Chase –”
“So you'll need to go buy some anti-bacterial soap to clean it.”
“Please talk to me.”
“I'm trying. Look, here are some aftercare instructions. Don't take the wrap off for at least an hour. If anything looks wrong give me a call.” He dropped the paper on my stomach and stepped back.
“Chase!”
“I have another appointment, and he's waiting. I'll see you later.”
I looked into his guarded eyes and exhaled deeply, “What do I owe you?”
“Nothing. It was a gift. But I'm busy, please go.” He turned away from me and walked to the back.
Aces.
***
Everyone loved my tattoo, even though Bree wouldn't talk to me for about an hour because I hadn't told her beforehand or let her come with me. Chase really had done an amazing job and I wished I could fix things with him, but he'd been avoiding me since the tattoo parlor. It didn't seem to matter how we ended things lately, he always avoided me after. It was probably for the best though, Brandon would be back two nights from tonight, and I already had enough guilt eating at me, I didn't need to add more. I hated myself when I thought of the kisses with Chase, how Brandon trusted me completely and I'd gone and kissed the one guy he had always worried about.
Mom and Dad went to Lake Tahoe with a few of their friends yesterday, and Bree begged me to go to LA with everyone for the weekend, but I faked being sick. A bunch of them were going clubbing tonight and tomorrow and planned on splitting hotel rooms both nights. I would have wanted to go, but everyone was going with a boyfriend or girlfriend except Drew, and I didn't want to be left to deal with him. All I really wanted to do was sit at Bree's house and mope. When I moved here, I wasn't planning on falling in love with the first two guys that came along. Hell, I wasn't planning on falling in love during college at all. I wanted to have dysfunctional relationships and flings, but did that happen? Nope. I felt like Elena from Vampire Diaries. She has two insanely hot men who are in love with her and would do anything for her. One of which, she would give almost everything to be with, and the other she continues to push away, even though she can't ever actually stay away, so she won't have to admit she was in love with him too. At least my guys weren't brothers. Thank God for that.
Chase walked into the house an hour after Breanna left and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. “I thought you were going to LA?” His voice was gruff, and his face was still guarded.
“No, I told Bree I was sick.”
“Are you?” He started to move towards me but stopped himself.
“I'm fine, I just wanted to be alone.”
“Well I'll be gone in a few minutes. I just need to grab a few things. How's the uh – how's the tattoo?”
“Beautiful.” I breathed, “Can we talk about that night?”
“There's nothing to talk about.” He called over his shoulder, heading for the stairs.
I jumped off the couch and raced behind him. “Yes there is, you completely shut down and you've been avoiding me ever since!”
“I'm not avoiding you, I just have nothing to say.”
“Why are you treating me like this? What did I do?”
“Nothing!”
“So this is what you do then? You make girls feel like they're special for a few days, then treat them like they're nothing?”
He turned on me right before he got to his room, “You're really gonna put this on me? One minute you're kissing me, the next you're talking to your boyfriend and telling him you love him!”
“What did you want me to do, not answer it?”
“It doesn't even matter Harper,” He laughed humorlessly, “drop it.”
“It does to me! I'm so tired of this roller coaster with you. I never know which Chase I'm going to meet up with that day. Is it going to be the cold or the funny and caring Chase? Will it be the one that's with four girls in one night, or the one that tells me how beautiful I am, does amazingly sweet things for me and notices stuff about me that no one else does?” Okay so Brandon noticed, but that wouldn't help my argument right now.
He just continued to glare at me.
“You're all over the place, I don't know how to act around you, I don't know what you want!”
“I want you! All I've ever wanted is you.”
“Then why are you trying to hurt me again?”
“Because it's easier that way.” His voice was soft now, and I could see the pain in his eyes, “You're with Brandon. Do you know what it's like watching you with him? Wanting you so bad, but knowing he's who you should be with?”
“But what if I want you?”
“Harper, don't.”
“I'm so in love with Brandon, but I can't help what I feel for you, and I know you know what I'm talking about. Whatever this is between us...it's been there since we met. It's like I can't get enough of you, but all you do is push me away. It's all you've ever done!”
“Because I'm not what you need Harper!”
I stepped closer towards him, “Then why did you kiss me Chase? You knew it would change everything, and it did. So tell me, why did you do it?”
He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a frustrated breath, “I needed to.” He closed the distance between us, “You're all I can think about and it drives me crazy! I would have given anything for that kiss, and I knew I wouldn't get that chance again, so I had to. I had to know if you felt something too.”
I threw out my hands in exasperation, “Was that not obvious? Is it not obvious that I'm in love with you?”
His mouth was on mine then and my surprised gasp turned into a moan. He wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed me into the wall, his lips moving fiercely against mine. “Say it again.” His breaths were coming hard and fast as he kissed me again.
“Chase,” I grasped his face so he would look at me, “I love you.”
A huge smile spread across his face before I pressed my lips to his, “God Harper I love you too, so much.” He growled against my mouth.
Chase walked us into his room and fell with me to the bed. I pulled the bottom of his shirt up, and realizing what I was doing he let go of me long enough to rip it off and throw it aside. Our mouths slammed back together and he shivered when I ran my fingertips over his chiseled chest and stomach. My shirt ended up on the ground next to his, and my entire body felt like it was on fire when he kissed a trail from my lips to the tattoo he gave me. Slow enough to make me think I'd lose my mind, he took off my pants and added them to the growing pile of clothes. He pressed his body into mine, but it still wasn't enough. I didn’t know if I could ever get close enough to him.
“I want you.”
He groaned into my neck and nipped my collarbone, “I don't have any condoms here Princess.”
“I don't care.”
“Don't say stuff like that,” He huffed a laugh, “I'm only so strong.”
I reached for the button on his pants and struggled to get it undone, “Please Chase, I don't want to wait any longer.” I whimpered when he stopped my hands. “I want you to be my first.”
He sat back and searched my face, “I can't.”
“You don't want me?” My eyes widened and my heart sunk. I hadn't been expecting this.
“Of course I do!”
“I don't – I don't understand.”
His face was completely unreadable as he just stared at me.
“It's because I'm a virgin.” It was a statement, of course he didn't want to be with me, he'd always made fun of me for it.
“Not in the way you're thinking. Trust me, I want to make you mine.”
I cupped his face in my hands, “Then please.” I whispered
“Princess,” his voice sounded pained, “you can’t want it to be me. With what I’ve done…I don’t deserve to be given something like that.”