I’d checked on her that morning before my run, so I knew she’d stayed, but I didn’t know if she was planning to, or if she was just waiting for today so she could move out. Thinking about her leaving punched a hole through my chest, but I wouldn’t force her to say. I wouldn’t force her to do anything; she’d had enough of that with Tyler. I would treat her like I always did and let her make the moves. It terrified me, not being in control of the situation, but I knew Cassidy needed to be the one to do this, so I’d sit back and wait. Praying to God that at the end of the day, she was still in my place and wanting to be with me.
The coffee had just finished brewing when she stumbled out of her room and once again I was stunned at how beautiful she was. Her hair was a disaster, she looked half-asleep, and that Sex Pistols shirt about swallowed her whole, but she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Her cheeks reddened when she saw me standing there and I held my breath until she staggered into my chest for our morning hug. Thank you, God.
“Mornin’.”
She mumbled and I laughed.
“How are you?”
Those whiskey-colored eyes looked up at me and for a long while she didn’t say a thing, just continued to stare at me. I wanted to kiss those naturally pouty lips so bad but I forced myself to let her do this at her own speed. “I’m fine,” she finally said, her voice raspy from sleep, “you?”
“I’m good.” Not anymore, I thought when she stepped away and made her coffee. She drank two cups without saying a word, and after she put her mug in the dishwasher she turned and faced me for a minute.
“We didn’t get groceries yesterday, so we’re going today.”
She’s getting food; does that mean she’s staying? “All right, I’ll take you.”
“Uh, no, I always go with Jackie. She’s going to pick me up soon, I’ll just go with her.”
Definitely leaving. Damn it. “I’ll be here, Cassidy.” Whenever you decide to come back. Before I could make an ass out of myself and drop to my knees and beg her to stay, I forced myself into my room and went to take a shower.
CASSIDY
“I JUST DON’T understand. I thought he’d be happy I stayed.” I looked up at Jackie to see her face full of disbelief. I’d just told her everything from the night before.
“Um, I’m sure he’s thrilled that you stayed, but did you really think he was just going to pick you up in his arms and kiss you to death this morning?”
“Well . . . yeah.”
Jackie snorted and picked up a packet of sliced fruit. “Cassidy, you ran from him last night and started packing a bag. Granted”—she cut me off with a hand when I started to speak—“you did stay. But he probably doesn’t know how to act around you now. From what you’re saying, he thought you did something with Tyler after the first time you kissed, and the second time, you run from him. What is he supposed to think?”
“Damn,” I whispered.
“If it were me, I’d go right up to that boy and kiss him.”
“Really? But what if I’m wrong about all of this? What if he was lying last night?”
“Do you think he was lying to you?” she retorted.
“No.”
“Well, then it’s settled. When you get back march that tiny ass of yours up to him and kiss him good. He’ll wrap you up in his arms, you’ll say, ‘Take me to bed or lose me forever,’ he’ll go all Maverick on you and take you to his bed to ravish you for hours.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Top Gun, Jackie? Really?” I smiled at her and grabbed a grapefruit. “And your ass is smaller than mine.”
JACKIE GAVE A wry “Good luck” as I hopped out of her car and made my way to the house. For some reason, I still half expected Gage to slam his mouth down on mine as soon as I saw him, but that didn’t happen. Actually, I’m not really sure what happened. I opened the door and found Gage sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. As soon as I shut the door he looked up and his eyes got wide, his jaw dropped, and he just stared at me.
“Um, I’m just going to put these away . . . ?”
Gage stood up so fast, he had to catch the chair before it toppled to the floor, and he hurried to the kitchen with me to help me put away the groceries. He didn’t say a word as we did it, though more than a few times I caught him looking at me from the corner of his eye. His weird silence confused and unnerved me, so instead of taking Jackie’s advice right then and there, I did the cowardly thing and headed for my room.
“I’m just going to take a shower,” I mumbled as I headed away. When I reached my door I chanced a glance back at him to find him walking slowly toward his own room, his head down and a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Gage?”
He turned quickly, his green eyes shifting through a range of emotions while his face stayed impassive.
Before I could talk myself out of it again, I walked quickly over to him, rose up on the balls of my feet, wrapped my hands around his head, and brought it down to mine. His arms pulled me into a tight embrace and he smiled through our kiss. It was long and slow and oh so perfect.
“You’re not leaving?” he whispered against my lips.
“I can’t.” I shrugged, hoping he’d understand exactly what that meant.
Gage pressed his lips to mine again and lightly brushed my tongue with his. “God, I was afraid I’d never get to experience that again,” he confessed when we separated.
“Wait, then why were you so distant this morning and when I got back?”
“I’m not Tyler, darlin’, I’ll never push you. I’m taking all my cues from you. But can you please tell me what happened when we got home last night?”
So he was waiting for me to do something? God, Jackie was brilliant. “Gage, I was humiliated. Still am, actually.” He wasn’t getting it. “You rejected me, only to remind me soon after that I’ve never been with anyone. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want to be with me because of that, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“Whoa, wait . . . what? How did you even come up with that?” I opened my mouth to respond but he continued. “Cassidy, you being a virgin doesn’t make me not want to be with you. If anything it makes me want you more, so I could claim you as mine. All I want is for your first time to be perfect, and my truck in a parking lot at your friend’s wedding is anything but perfect.”
“I really screwed last night up, didn’t I?”
He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m just glad you stayed.” He peppered my cheeks and lips with soft kisses.
“Gage, did you really just say you wanted to claim me?”
His husky laugh went all the way to my toes. “I’ve wanted nothing else since you spilled your beer on me.”
“Oh God, we’re back to that again? Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
“Never.” He grinned wickedly as he bent down to kiss me again.
“Gage?” I asked through a breathy moan when he placed an openmouthed kiss on that spot behind my ear. “I’m in control with what we do?”
He brought his head up to look me in the eye. “Completely, Cass, do you want me to stop?”
“No, but if I do want to stop—”
“Then we stop. No questions asked.”
I nodded and sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, thinking about finally making my dreams of him a reality . . . well, some of them anyway.
“Come on, let’s just watch a movie.” He mistook my silence and grabbed my hand, towing me to the couches.
Before we got to the couch, I tugged on his arm and slowly backed up toward his room.
His eyes darkened and he looked quickly between me and his bedroom door. “Cassidy, don’t do this for me.”
“I’m not,” I said softly. “Did you already forget about last night?” I asked with a sly grin.
“You’ll let me know—”
“I’ll tell you when to stop, Gage,” I assured him.
With that, he put his hands on the back of my thighs and picked me up, and walked us to his room, his mouth never leaving mine. He gently laid us down on his bed and kept most of his weight off me while still pressing his body to mine. Bringing his knees up, he put his weight on them and unzipped my thin hoodie before peeling it off me and covering my body with his again. My hands went to the bottom of his shirt and I pulled up until he helped me get it off, depositing it on top of my hoodie on the floor. I traced the contours of his shoulders, chest, and stomach while letting my eyes memorize every square inch of his upper body. He had an amazing body—I already knew that—but to be able to freely touch it, and have the weight of it pressing down on me . . . I couldn’t help but smile as I lifted my head off the pillows to kiss him again. He met my kiss greedily and soon I was shivering when he moved lower and his teeth lightly grazed my throat. Arching my back to press my chest into him, I silently willed him to touch me. His kisses alone were making my insides heat, but I wanted more. It took me another minute to realize he wouldn’t do anything until I told him. I still couldn’t believe he was putting me in control.
“Gage,” I said around his mouth, and he just moved it to kiss along my jaw.
“Tell me what you want, darlin’.”
“Undress me.”
I was expecting him to rip my clothes off, but God, what he did was so. Much. Better. The first to go was my shirt, and as he slid it up inch by inch, his mouth and tongue followed the hem of my shirt. When it was finally off, he captured my mouth with his and kissed me until I was completely breathless. Then he tortured me the exact same way with my jeans, placing hot, openmouthed kisses all the way down my hips, thighs, calves, and feet. I knew I should have been at the very least a little embarrassed by the way I was writhing beneath him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care right now. He hadn’t even touched me yet and already I was shuddering with pleasure. He retraced his way up my body and, without lifting his head from my upper stomach, brought his hands under my back and unhooked my bra, slid the straps off my shoulders, and pulled it from my body.
Placing a hand on either side of me, he lifted himself off me and shamelessly studied every inch of me. One hand came up slowly and touched down on my lower stomach toward my hip. As soon as the tips of his fingers were on my skin I knew where they were, what he was looking at, and my body instantly locked up. I’d never let anyone other than Tyler purposefully see my scars, but I didn’t exactly have a choice since he was the one who always took care of me. How could I have forgotten about the hideous lines marking my body? Especially at a time like this. I didn’t want Gage to see this part of me. God, I should have waited until it was completely dark in the room! He’d seen the bruises for a brief moment when I moved here, but I’m sure he hadn’t even noticed these the night I walked here from Tyler’s. I preferred it that way. There were only two outcomes to this: disgust and pity. Neither of which I could live with coming from him. My hands blurred as one tried to push him away and the other stupidly tried to cover the biggest scar on my torso.