“I know.”
“And, uh, I’m not sure how you feel about this but we can’t get married in a church. This is not a promise we’re making to God, only to the state.”
I laughed. “Callum, I know that. Trust me, you’ve made that very clear. This is not a real marriage,” I said, my stomach hurting knowing the pain I was purposely inflicting on myself. What a glutton for punishment.
All the color surprisingly drained from his face. “I’m sorry, I know.”
“So, when would we do it?” I asked.
“We would have to apply for a license. It takes several days to process. Then get married on Saturday.”
“And we’re sure John would never be able to find me?”
“There’s no guarantee, Harper. I mean, I’m just betting he’s too stupid to check to see if you were married. We can ask about making the records private.”
“Okay, and we’re just doing this for a year? Just enough to save a few bucks and get our own place?”
“Right, then we get an annulment or divorce, whichever. I just don’t see any other way to live while we go to school since we lost our money and I can’t sell my bike now.”
“You were thinking of selling your bike?” I asked, knowing I never would have ever let him do that.
“Yeah, we didn’t have anything else to sell.”
“Yes, we did,” I said. “My book.”
“Absolutely not, Harper. No way! I would never let you do that!”
“It’s better to sell the book. It’s all we have now, no thanks to me.”
“Will you stop blaming yourself? And, no! I’m putting my foot down. No! That book stays in your possession come heck or high water. No, this is our only option.”
I sighed loudly. “I think you’re right,” I said. “We’re pretty desperate.” I laugh without humor.
Minutes pass in companionable silence.
“Harper?” Callum asked quietly.
“Hmm?” I said, studying Callum’s Converse, my head on his chest, his arm around my shoulder.
“Does this mean you’ll marry me?” He asked, peeking down at my face.
I felt an embarrassing crimson heat flush spread across my cheeks.
“I think it does,” I whispered.
We were both silent for a very long time, our chests heavy with labored breathing. This was it. We were actually going to do it. I couldn’t believe myself. This felt like the best and worst decision I’d ever made.
“What do we have to lose?” He asked.
Everything.
“Okay, so we’re not acting anymore,” he said, thinking. “Well go to a pawn shop, buy a few rings, apply for a license, tell our friends.”
I gulped audibly. “When?”
“Today, right now. Why? You got somethin’ better to do?”
“No,” I nervously chuckled. “Won’t we lose our place in line?” I stupidly asked.
Callum eyed me. “Do you want to do this, Harper?”
“Yes,” I said with conviction and stood. “Let’s go. I think I saw a pawn shop three blocks down.”
“I know the one,” he said. “We’ll try to be back before the doors close and just hope for the best.”
“It is The Hope House,” I lamely joked, making Callum contort a funny face at its dorkiness.
I laughed.
The pawn shop was old. You could tell the same owner was in possession since the fifties and he still ran the counter.
“How can I help you?” A kindly looking older man asked.
Callum grabbed my hand and smiled down at me. “We’d like a few rings please.”
The older man’s face brightened as he stood. “No kidding! Well isn’t that fantastic. Here. Here,” he said gently but excitedly, rounding the corner behind his counter. “The rings are here. Anything in particular you’d like?” He asked.
“I’ve never thought about it,” I said.
This surprised Callum and he shoved his shoulder into mine.
“Well, let’s see what we have here,” he said.
Callum and I bent over the glass display case and studied the array of rings before us.
“You pick mine,” he said.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really, go ahead.”
I perused the bands for men and picked a simple white gold band with straight edges and no embellishment whatsoever. It seemed so Callum to me, simple, classic, beautiful.
“This one,” I said and pointed to the ring in the case.
The man brought the ring out and set it on top of the glass with a clink. Callum picked it up and examined it before turning to me. His eyes melted me to the floor where I stood, twinkling with happiness.
“It’s the one I hoped you’d select,” he said, swallowing hard.
I took a deep breath and laid my hand on his forearm.
“And for the bride?” The man asked, shocking us.
“You pick mine,” I said, following Callum’s lead.
“You don’t want to choose your own?” He asked me warily.
“No, I want to see what you’d choose for me as well.”
Callum bent over the display case, considering all his choices carefully. He sat up and his shoulders sagged a bit.
“I don’t like any of these for you,” he said sadly.
“It’s okay just pick the best one, then.”
“No,” he said with conviction, making my stomach dip suddenly. “It’s not here.”
The old man held up a finger and went to the back. He was gone for a good five minutes before finally emerging with a wooden case, setting it on top of the cabinet and opening the lid.
Inside were a crumpled pile of rings. I watched Callum’s eyes shoot wide and his hand made a beeline for a ring, buried beneath a few others. I didn’t even know how he saw it. I held my breath as he wrestled it from the heap and brought it up to the light above us. I gasped when he brought it down for me to inspect, burning tears threatening the corners of my eyes. It was everything I didn’t know I wanted and was shocked into silence at the beauty of it.
The stone was round and framed within many small diamonds. It was art deco inspired, filigree following up the band itself and many more diamonds filled the band as well.
“That is the prettiest ring in this store,” the man said, his eyes crinkled with a smile. “My wife found that at an estate sale before she passed away, God bless her.”
I smiled and my breath sped up as Callum slipped it onto my finger. It fit perfectly.
“Like it was made for you,” the old man said happily.
Callum held my hand, sending warm sparks up my arm and into my chest, making my heart beat unnaturally.
“How much do we owe you?” Callum asked without looking from me.
“One hundred and fifty,” he said.
Callum and I both turned to the man, stupefied.
“Only one-fifty?” Callum asked.
“Yes, for the gentleman’s band,” he said.
“But we’ll take both,” Callum said, gesturing to my ring.
“And I’ll give you both but my wife would roll over in her grave if she saw me sell a ring that was only meant to be given. Trust me, it is my absolute pleasure.”
“I wouldn’t feel right,” I said. “That’s too generous.”
“Something tells me generosity isn’t a gift you two see very often,” he said, not unkindly. “Please, I consider it more a gift to my wife. So, you see? It’s mostly selfish.”
Callum and I both smiled at the man, in awe of the his consideration for his wife even after she’d left this earth.
“Thank you,” we both said, a bit breathless.
“There’s a catch,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eye.
“What’s that?” Callum asked, chuckling.
“Just send me a pic of your family in ten years. Give an old man something to look forward to.”
Suddenly I felt very guilty, my stomach fell and I wanted to pull the ring off my finger and flee the store. Callum, sensing my discomfort, grabbed my hand.
“We promise,” he said, with suspicious confidence.
Callum
We paid the man, thanked him profusely again and headed straight for the Office of the New York City Clerk. The line to apply for the license was of ridiculous proportions as they handled all living documents, including birth and death certificates. We had been there close to an hour already but Harper and I were grateful just to be able to get out of the sun.
“Dude, this line is worse than The Hope House,” I joked, feeling lighter in the chest than I had in a very long time.
She laughed.
They were pumping old hits through the sound system above our heads and Billy Joel’s For The Longest Time started to play. Harper started to bob her head a little bit and I noticed several other people started tapping their feet or quietly swaying back and forth. I don’t know what came over me but I took Harper’s bag from her shoulder and set it at our feet. She just stared at me curiously but I refused to give it away, only smiling from ear to ear. I set my own bag down and wrapped an arm around her waist, twisting her into the middle of the hall, making several women around us ooh and awe. I sung the words quietly into her ear, trying not to worry at just how applicable the lyrics were to how I really felt for her. (Look them up, seriously.) And we danced, slowly, achingly slowly.
Her soft skin melted at my touch, malleable beneath my fingers it was so silky, smooth and cool like glass. At a lull in the lyrics, I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled loudly, causing a breath to hitch in her throat. She drove me crazy, she was so sexy. We swayed around the little hallway, holding on tightly, her hand cupping beautifully in mine.
As the song came to an all too short end, we looked up to see that a few other couples had joined us, creating an impromptu Prom in the middle of a city government office. I dipped her unexpectedly, my hand sweeping around the back of her neck and resting at her throat. I wanted so badly to kiss her. People started clapping and whistling when I brought her back up and Harper and I stood back in line.
“That was...so fun,” Harper said, her cheeks pink.
“What can I say? I’m a fun guy.”
She laughed and bit her bottom lip, sending me into a frenzy. Just do it, Callum. Take her lips with yours. Right now. I ordered myself but became sane at the last second.
I bent to grab Harper’s bag just as she did and we met on the floor, our faces close and breathing hard. We came up slowly, pulled into one another’s stares. A woman next to us broke our trance.
“Getting married, are you?” She asked.
“Uh, yes,” Harper said. “What gave us away?”
“The dancing for one and the way you two look at each other.”
Harper and I got slightly uncomfortable when she said that. I don’t know how we had gone so far with all the flirtations and near kisses without ever really discussing them. For God’s sake, we were standing in a line that handed out marriage licenses! How had we never talked about our true feelings?
We reached the top of the line and waited our turn. My hands began to tremble so I threw them into my front pockets.