But he didn't act like he loved me any less when he talked to me. He didn't act cold or distant. He acted like he was completely in love with me still. Wishing he could be with me, he huskily told me how much he loved me. We'd even made love again, over the phone. It wasn't the same as being with him, but it did help to keep me feeling close, even if I wasn't sure if we were.
And, needless to say, I hadn't told him about Denny. It seemed almost pointless now, since Denny had been back for so long. I wasn't sure what was going to happen when Kellan's tour ended and he went to L.A. to work on his album, but I was sure about what was going to happen with Denny and me.
Nothing...nothing was going to happen.
Even if Kellan and I broke up today, and God, I hoped not, nothing would happen between Denny and I. The feeling just wasn't there anymore. Nothing more than friendship and fond memories remained. Even Denny's lingering bitterness over our breakup had dwindled.
We were just...comfortable again.
So when he came into Pete's one Wednesday evening, looking to be on the edge of tears, I was naturally concerned for my friend. Ignoring my waitressing duties for a moment, I sat beside him at a table. Handing him a beer, I quietly asked, "You okay?"
Wrapping his fingers around his bottle, he shook his head. "No, no I'm not."
I frowned at seeing his normally jovial dark eyes looking so sad and soulful. Gently placing my hand on his arm, I peered around to look up into his face. "You want to talk about it?"
Sniffing, he looked up at me. His eyes searched mine for a moment. Scratching the hair along his jaw, he sighed. "Yeah, actually, I think I do. Can I come over after your shift?"
I smiled, patting his arm. "Of course. I'll see you there."
He nodded, his smile still sad, and I leaned over on a whim and kissed his cheek. His smile softened as he looked up at me and I grinned, happy that I could ease his heart, even just a little bit. Scuffing up his longer-than-I-was-used-to hair, I stood and left him to his drinking.
Jenny was frowning at me as I stepped up to her. "I saw that." She raised an eyebrow. "Anything going on?"
Knowing that she meant if anything was going on between us in a more than friendly way, I dryly told her, "No, nothing like that is going on." I frowned and looked back at Denny. "He's sad, and I was trying to cheer him up."
She looked over at where Denny was staring at his bottle. "Hmmm, yeah, he does seem sad." Twisting to head over to him, she stopped and quietly added, "I know things are...strained, with you and Kellan, but don't do anything...rash...by 'cheering' Denny up a little too well."
I gave her a wry smile. "I wasn't going to, Jenny, but thank you for that."
She smiled as she sucked on an apple lollipop. "No problem."
I shook my head at her as she bounced over to Denny and wrapped her arms around him. He gave her a small smile. It brightened a little when Jenny stuck a sucker in his palm. Wondering what was going on with my ex, wondering what was going on with my current, I finished off the rest of my shift in self contemplation.
The apartment was empty when I got back. A note from Anna said that she was spending the night at a friend's house. I smiled at seeing it. It was yet another sign that she was coming back to the bubbly personality that I knew and loved. I also hoped that by "friend," she meant a girl. The last thing Anna needed right now was to drag another guy into the mix. Her life was complicated enough.
I was just setting my bag down when the door was knocked on. Sighing softly, I walked over and opened it. Denny's glum face peered back at me. His dark eyes darker by the slight circling of exhaustion underneath them, he looked worn down.
Frowning, I motioned for him to come in. Dressed in his work clothes still, he loosened his tie after slinging his jacket over a kitchen chair. Running a hand back through his hair, he twisted to face me. "Thanks for letting me come by, Kiera...I didn't know who else to talk to."
His accent thickened as he spoke and I stepped up to him, tilting my head. "What's going on, Denny?"
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes. "It's nothing, really...nothing I should be worrying you about."
Cupping his cheek, I made him look at me. "It's bothering you, so you should talk to me about it. I'm your friend, Denny. Regardless of everything, I'm still your friend."
Sighing, he gave me a one-sided grin. "Yeah...I know." Glancing over to my ugly orange couch, he tilted his dark head. "Can we sit?"
Exhaling slowly, I nodded. "You want something to drink?" He shook his head and started walking over to the couch, so I followed him. Once he sat, he leaned over his knees. My heart started surging a little as his posture and mannerisms reminded me of another conversation we'd had on a couch. A conversation that had been really hard, for him and for me.
Shaking back the awful memory of Denny asking me if I was happy being with him, I put my hand on his knee. "It's okay...what is it?"
He glanced up at me, his eyes sad. "It's Abby..."
My heart filled with lead as I considered all of the things that could have happened between them that would make him look so sad. Had she left him? Cheated on him? Did another woman betray him? Him, the most loving, wonderful man I'd probably ever met? It seemed ridiculous to me and my heart instantly hardened against this woman who'd caused his face such pain.
And yes, I didn't miss the irony of feeling that way, considering I'd caused him the most pain of anyone.
"Oh, are you two...over?"
He gave me a quizzical look, then shook his head. "No, she just...had a problem with her work visa. She can't make it over here yet. It's going to be a few more weeks until they get everything straightened out." He sighed, looking down at his hands. "We've been apart for so long, I just wanted..." When he looked back at me, his eyes were moist. "I wanted to see her."
My heart softened as I realized that she hadn't hurt him, not intentionally. He just missed her. No, I was the only one that had caused him pain. Abby, she was everything he deserved to have. Putting my arm on his leg, I grabbed his hand. He looked down at our fingers, but didn't make a move to disentangle us.
"I'm so sorry, Denny. I know how excited you were for her to see your new place."
Closing his eyes, he nodded. "Yeah, she was supposed to be here this weekend. I was going to have everything ready...make her a great meal, fill the house with her favorite flowers, light all the candles..."
He looked over at me, his face apologetic for describing his romantic intensions. It knotted my stomach, only fractionally, and I gave him a warm, encouraging smile. Slumping in sadness, he quietly added, "I just want her here."
Rubbing his thumb against mine, he stared at me for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, his accent thick. "I think I hated you after you cheated on me...for a long time actually." My heart sunk and my eyes welled as he continued to stare me down. Shaking his head, he said, "But I think I should thank you now."
My jaw dropped as my eyes went wide. "Thank me? God, Denny...why? I was horrible to you."
He smiled, looking at our hands. "Yes, yes you were." Peeking up at me, he gave me a goofy grin. "But I'd have never gone back home if you hadn't hurt me so much. And if I'd never gone back home, I'd never have met Abby." Looking past me, his smile widened as he thought of his lover, wherever she was. "And she...is a miracle to me."
Oddly, that sentence didn't hurt me as much as it would have a few months ago. Oddly, it made me smile and we were both grinning at each other goofily. "I'm glad you're happy Denny, that's all I ever wanted for you."
He nodded at me, then frowned. "Well, I'd be happy if I could get her here..."
Leaning in, I felt comfortable enough to give my friend a hug, knowing neither one of us would be hurt by it. He laughed a little and hugged me back. Letting go of my hand so he could get both arms around me, he squeezed me tight. I chuckled as I held him, comforted that I could still comfort him.
Pulling back, I tilted my head and told him, "If it makes you feel any better, I got kissed by a girl a couple of weeks ago."
Giving me a playfully devilish grin, he leaned his head against mine. "You have my complete attention. Let's talk about the kiss."
I was giggling when I heard the door open. Wondering why Anna had decided to come back, I loosened my arms and looked over at the door. I stopped giggling when I saw who was standing there. I think I stopped breathing. Denny immediately dropped his arms from around me as a cold voice filled the room.
"I felt bad for missing our anniversary. We had a short break in the schedule, and even though Matt's irked at me that I took off, I just had to come out and see you."
My jaw dropped as Kellan stood just inside my apartment door. Eyes narrowed, his midnight blue depths stared at Denny and I like he wanted to set us on fire. "I wanted to surprise you." His jaw tight, he spat out, "Are you surprised...? Because I know I am."
I instantly scooted away from Denny and stood up. Knowing how bad that moment looked, I held my hands up to Kellan. "I can explain."
Walking into the room, Kellan slammed my door shut behind him. He pointed at us with a hand holding a bouquet of flowers; they vibrated as his hand shook. "You can explain?" he yelled. "Explain what exactly? The fact that he is sitting in your living room and not thousands of miles away, or the fact that you had your hands all over each other!"
Tossing the flowers to the floor, he strode into the living room. I immediately put my hands on Kellan's chest, afraid of him and Denny getting too close together. Glaring down at me, Kellan pushed his body against my hands and seethed, "I'm listening...start explaining!"
My throat completely closed up on me as Denny slowly rose from the couch. "Kiera...I told you to tell him..." Denny murmured.
Kellan's eyes snapped over to his. "Tell me what? Tell me about the kiss? Is that what I heard you say?" His eyes flashed back to mine, cold, enraged. "Is that what you need to tell me, Kiera...or is there more?"
Shaking my head, tears blurred my vision. "No, Kellan, he didn't kiss me."
Kellan's eyes narrowed and he pushed me off of him. "Then you kissed him?"
I swallowed, wishing this was just a horrid dream. I should have told him, I should have told him on that very first day I ran into Denny. "No, Kellan, I didn't kiss anybody..."
Kellan walked up to me, pressing me back with his body until my legs pressed against the couch. Even knowing that he was extremely mad, even filled with guilt and fear for our relationship, his proximity excited me. My rough breath matching his, I resisted the urge to touch him as he leaned down and snapped, "But someone kissed you? Who?"
Denny stepped up to Kellan, placing a hand on his arm. "Kellan...relax, mate."
Kellan snapped his head to Denny and shoved him back, hard. "Don't f**king call me, mate! Why the hell are you with my girl?"
The possessive accent on the word was so clear, it seemed to ring in the air. I put a calming hand on Kellan's chest but he ignored it, focused on Denny instead. Stumbling back a step, Denny managed to catch himself before falling. Slowly straightening, he glared at Kellan. "Right...your girl."