I stirred in my bed and sighed as the rustle of the sheets brought me slightly to consciousness. I instinctively knew it was dark, still in the middle of the night, and didn't bother with opening my eyes. As I moved my legs under the covers, I collided with another pair of legs. Confused, I reached out with my hand and indeed felt another pair of long, bare, shapely legs. Even more confused, I followed those legs up to a very firm backside. My hand slipped over what could only be my favorite pair of silky bikini panties.
I smiled at the remembered cut of them, the way they'd looked against ivory flesh, the light pink color with one giant, red heart in the back and the word 'love' in red script across the front. My fingers ran around to the front and I felt where the different fabric of the word stood out against the silk. A soft feminine sigh met my searching hand and I adjusted my body to feel more of the body lying next to me. My hands ran up a bare stomach and my body responded instantly. I felt the quick inhales and exhales as my hand ran up that nak*d skin. I felt the light breath on my face and heard a soft moan in my ear. I bit my lip and continued on up, hoping to find what I knew was typically paired with that sexy underwear. My fingers ran over the fabric covering a breast. I traced two letters on one side of the bra 'L' and 'O', then my hand moved over to feel the other silky cup. Sure enough - 'V' and 'E'.
I pressed my incredibly ready body right up against the figure beside me. I was rewarded with lean legs tangling over mine and a warm hand on my lower back pulling me in tight. I groaned as our lower halves connected. My hands continued on up from that amazingly sexy bra to a slender neck; I could feel the heartbeat raging in the veins as I brought my lips to them. The familiar scent of perfume mixed with peach body wash filled me. My hands went up even farther to tangle in long silky hair and a low moan escaped soft lips as my tongue found a sensitive spot in the crook of the neck, a spot I knew very well.
Small hands came up my back, under my t-shirt, and clutched at my bare skin as our bodies shifted and moved together, teasing each other, satisfying each other. My lips moved up that fragrant neck and not able to take it anymore, I hungrily found an equally eager mouth in the darkness. I groaned and pressed against the length of the nearly nak*d body beside me as my tongue felt for and found its match. My midnight companion returned both of my actions readily and let a loud moan escape into the still air.
"Quiet, Lil, you'll wake my mom," I muttered between our lips.
"Sorry, Luc...that just feels amazing," she breathily muttered back.
I smiled and rolled her over to her back, pressing my hard body more firmly into hers. I knew exactly what felt amazing to her, and this was something we'd done on several occasions. In fact, we'd done this very thing a couple nights before the accident, when I'd been awoken from a deep sleep to find that Lillian had nearly undressed and slid into bed with me. Oh, wait...we'd done this exact thing, even right down to the underwear. I breathily pulled back from her lips.
"I'm dreaming again...aren't I?" I finally opened my eyes and looked at the vision of a blonde goddess, biting her lip and writhing beneath me as our bodies pressed together intimately.
Her hands reached up to tangle in my hair as she pulled me in for a kiss that left me aching. "Yes...god, yes," she muttered. I had no idea if she was answering my question or being...satisfied. With the look on her face when she said that, I really didn't care. My dream of her weeks ago paled in comparison with this one and even though I knew waking from this would sort of kill me, I eagerly returned her deep kiss and decided I'd deal with that pain if I got to feel this again.
Her hands reached down to pull off my shirt and I let her, helping out where I could. There was an eagerness in our desire to be as nak*d as we could with each other and I found the lounge pants I'd slept in quickly beside the bed with my shirt. Our bodies met and hungered for each other as small gasps and groans filled the air. She shushed me and on occasion, more than a few actually, I shushed her.
We'd done all of this before. Lil had a habit of sneaking out of her bed and into mine. It was a habit I greatly enjoyed. She'd appeared in next to nothing a few times and had driven me nearly to madness several times too, but we'd never gone all the way. While we'd both said we weren't ready for that, during moments like these, I think it was only the fact that my mom was down the hall and we were afraid we'd wake her, that had stopped those intimate sessions from being our first time together, our first time ever.
Not that we hadn't experimented. Not that we hadn't brought each other to release. We'd just never technically "had sex". As our bodies more frantically rubbed together, and I realized none of this was even real, I began to wonder why we couldn't now. We wouldn't wake my mom up in a dream...and it felt so real...
My hands slid down her smooth skin to her underwear and I started slipping them off. Her hands quickly found mine and stopped me. "No," she breathed. "I'm not ready for that." Her legs wrapped more firmly around mine and she pulled our h*ps together. "Just like this, we can come together, just like this. I'll be quiet...promise."
I groaned quietly as I realized that I was pretty close to coming already. "I want more, Lil. I want all of you."
She kissed me softly and sped up her hips, maybe hoping to speed up the finale so I couldn't convince her otherwise. "Not yet, Luc...soon, but not yet."
My mind shifted back to a similar conversation that I'd had with the real Lillian. "Why not? We're so close, Lil. I'm so ready for you. I want to please you like that. Don't you want that?"
Her back arched and her head fell back. "Oh, yes...god, yes." I moved to pull down her underwear...but I was too late. With a muffled cry into my shoulder she hit her peak. Seeing that, hearing that, knowing that I did that to her, well, damn if I didn't hit mine too. I gave up on her underwear and slumped over her body, groaning deep as I rode out the sensation with her.
Breathless, I pulled back to look at her. I stroked her hair back from her face and kissed her softly. "God, Lil, that was...but...we could have..."
She bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm not ready, Lucas."
Now I shook my head. "But this is my dream. You're still not ready, even in my dream?"
"I know, Luc, I'm sorry. At least I can give you this." She slung her hands around my neck as I rolled off to her side. She frowned as she looked me over. "You shouldn't be dreaming of me, Luc, especially like this. This won't help you move past me."
I blinked at her, confused. "Why would I want to move past you?" I kissed her nose. "I like being with you. This is better than anything that's happening to me in the real world. If I could never wake up...I'd be so happy."
She immediately pulled away from me. "Don't say that." She pushed me away from her and confused, I attempted to pull her back in towards me. Nimbly, she slipped away and stood up at the side of the bed. "Don't ever say that again." She put her hands on her h*ps in a way that was supposed to be threatening, but really, was just endearing. "Or I won't come back." She raised her chin defiantly and a soft chuckle escaped me.
She narrowed her pale eyes at me until I conceded. "Fine. I hope I wake up soon and join the ranks of brooding teenagers worldwide."
She smiled and then immediately frowned. "Oh...sorry. Goodbye, Lucas."
"Goodbye? What do you-"
A sharp, high pitched buzzing in my ear woke me from my dream and shattered my conversation with Lillian. I slammed a hand down on the stupid alarm clock and looked over to where Lil had been cutely standing with her hands on her hips. Instead of the pitch black of night, a pale morning light lit my room...that was completely empty.
I hadn't expected to have a dream like that about her. Grief welled in me but after a long moment, I managed to push it back. No, that had been nice, more than nice, and I wasn't going to grieve over a nice memory. Besides, it had felt so real...maybe I'd found a way to be with her again. God, that sounded insane. But still, it felt so real. I'd felt her body again. I'd heard her moans again. I'd watched her come under me. I'd... Oh, damn it.
I carefully felt around myself and, sure enough, some things that happen in dreams also happen in real life. I sighed irritably and got up to take a shower. Oh well, it was still a pleasant dream and I wasn't about to cry over it. Even still, I did let loose a couple tears in the shower.
After cleaning and dressing, I shuffled out to the kitchen for a cup of coffee with Mom. As per our usual routine, she asked me general questions of how things were going. I gave her general responses of things were going fine.
School had been in session for a few weeks now and while the student body hadn't exactly warmed up to me, I had become less of an object of interest and more of a forgotten relic in the back row. That suited me fine. If they were ignoring me, they wouldn't talk to me. And if they weren't talking to me, they wouldn't ask me painful questions that I didn't want to answer. Questions that I'd endured too often in that first week of school, when more of the kids like Eliza and Gabriela had become braver and flat out asked me if I (A) remembered anything and (B) was drunk. I always said no to both and hoped they dropped it.
Eventually they did and I faded into the back of their consciousness. Everyone's except Josh and Will's that is. Those two still picked on me relentlessly. Will took every opportunity to make me look like an idiot, questioning the class loudly about my actions or even trying to cause me physical harm with more "accidents". It was annoying, but I did my best to ignore it, hoping he would eventually bore of his game and give up.
Josh...he was still determined to kick my ass, but never seemed to have a free moment to do it. Being new to the football team this year probably helped with keeping him occupied. It also helped that his girlfriend caught him with his hands all over some cheerleader's ass after practice one day. I'd heard that the fight was a blowout and would have made any fight between us seem civil in comparison. While I had nothing against Josh's girlfriend (she ignored me for the most part, that is, when she wasn't pulling Josh away from me), I was glad for Josh's meandering hands. Better him groping some cheerleader's backside, than permanently damaging our friendship - if it wasn't already.
Mom and I sipped our coffees in silence, facing each other at the tiny table in our tiny kitchen. Her work hadn't let up any and she still looked tired and haggard. I suppose a good chunk of that was her still worrying about me, about how I was reintegrating with society. I wanted to assure her that everything was fine, so I tried to slap on a genuine smile around her. She didn't seem to buy it, but at the same time didn't argue with it, giving me my space to grieve. And I still was.
My visions of my friends weren't leaving me. I remembered conversations with them around every corner of school. I remembered tackling Darren on the front lawn, a rousing snowball fight with Sammy, when a soft spattering on the ground had greeted us as we exited a class last year, and...I remembered Lil. I sighed into my coffee cup as I set it down on the table. Eventually, I'd started adding her memories to the mix. Hers hurt the most, of course, and they'd been the most insistent to pop up. Giving in, I'd swallowed back the painful lump and let my memory of her wash over me. Tears had stung my eyes the first few times it happened and Sawyer's calming hand on my arm would snap me out of whatever vision I'd been lost in.