Sawyer did not. After completely steadying me, she dropped her bag at my feet and shoved both hands into a laughing Will's chest. "Grow up you son of a bitch!"
He started at the unexpected outburst and then his face clouded in anger. He stepped into her attack and leered down at her. "Oh, the juvy whore has a voice." He looked like he wanted to shove her back, but didn't go so far as to start something with a girl. Instead, he held her wrists down and looked over her wildly thrashing body to me, standing dazed behind her. "Getting your slut to fight your battles for you, Luc?" He rocked his h*ps towards her suggestively. "Maybe I should tap this too. She's kind of hot, in a fiery, bitchy sort of way." He looked back at her with a leer while the students around laughed even harder. Seriously, where was a teacher when you needed one?
My face heated more, but in anger this time. I took a step towards Will, already bringing my arm back for the strike I was committed to. I'd get in trouble to protect her. Sawyer didn't need me to though. She managed to wrench an arm free and flat out decked him. No girly slap across the face, she clenched her hand into a tight fist and socked him right in the jaw.
He released her, stepping back in shock and bringing a hand up to rub his injury. His eyes held pure fury now. Sawyer took a step away from him, massaging her hand. I took advantage of the space between them and stepped up to Will, shoving him farther back from Sawyer with both of my hands against his chest.
"Gonna hit a girl now, Will? Is that where you're going? Coach would love that...wonder how long you'll stay quarterback." Will paled as my words registered with him, and suddenly realizing that fighting Sawyer, or me, was not in his best interest, he spat at my feet and turned, trudging his way to the main building.
I sighed softly as I watched him leave. We'd just be seeing him again in a few minutes; one of the major drawbacks of attending a small school. So much for my not sucky day. Well, maybe the worst was over with. Sawyer came up behind me and put a hand on my arm. The crowd around us began to disperse as people started to realize that no one, meaning me, was going to get knocked to the ground.
I looked over at Sawyer and her hand that had to be aching. I pointed at it. "Are you okay? Want to stop by the nurses' station?"
"No, I'm fine." She smiled impishly. "It's not my first time hitting an a**hole."
I raised an eyebrow at that and she laughed a little at my look. She nodded towards the front doors and with another sigh, I nodded and reached down to grab her bag for her. Then we both continued on to first period English. We got some looks as we headed down the hall but we ignored them; we were used to looks. True, the kids were slightly more interested in us now than they had been of late, thanks to Josh and Will's testosterone display outside, but if Sawyer and I were getting good at anything, it was tuning the world out.
Trudging up the stairs, I noticed her still rubbing her hand. "Are you sure you're alright," I asked, as I reached over and grabbed her hand, taking over the massage.
She looked up at me and then down at our hands for a long moment before she answered. "Sure, it feels better already." She looked back up at me and grinned. "Totally worth it."
I grinned back and gave her a brief hug around the shoulders, releasing her hand. "Well, thank you for your valiant attempt to defend my honor." I smirked when I said that, momentarily remembering a dream version of Lil threatening to beat up Josh. Lil would probably love Sawyer for clocking Will.
Coming to the top of the steps, Sawyer stopped and looked over my face. Perhaps misinterpreting my expression, she frowned softly. "I just cost you cool points, didn't I?"
I laughed. "You think I still have cool points? I'm pretty sure I lost all of those when I kill..." I closed my mouth and bit my lip. When I killed all my friends, their friends.
Sawyer's eyes widened as what I hadn't finished saying registered with her. She started shaking her head and had an expression of 'don't talk like that' clearly written on her face. Before the after school special could begin, I grabbed her hand and led her to English. She didn't like it when I said stuff like that...truth was hard, but, I didn't need a lecture this morning. I'd be getting enough of those by the teachers.
Not resisting my pull to class, and still having an 'I want to talk to you' look on her face, Sawyer and I entered the room together, hand in hand.
Several sets of eyes tracked the intimate movement, a move around here generally reserved for boyfriend/girlfriend behavior. But we weren't, it was different with us. I didn't want to care what the students here thought, hell, I was pretty sure they all thought we were sleeping together anyway, but I did care about Sawyer getting picked on, so I dropped her hand and made a beeline to my seat, carefully avoiding a stormy looking Will.
I looked over at Sawyer as she sat in the back row with me; she studiously ignored me, studying her desk. I wasn't sure what that meant. Was she still thinking about things to say to me? I hoped not, I didn't need a lesson on cheeriness. She usually didn't try to offer me any either. She just seemed to instinctually know when to press and when to back off, when to ask me questions and when to walk away. But right now, she did look like something was troubling her.
Ms. Reynolds started class, giving us details on a pep rally today after last period. All classes were going to be fifteen minutes shorter so we could all gather together in the gym to celebrate the "can't miss" football game of the season against our school rivals (meaning they happen to be the closest school next to us and had been deemed "the enemy").
I tried to ignore Ms. Reynolds's speech about how great the game will be and how school spirit can make you feel like a part of something bigger. I had been a part of something bigger, and a part of me still missed that. I missed the games and the camaraderie of the team. I missed Darren sitting beside me on the bench, waiting for our turn on the field so he could score the winning touchdown. Well, that's how he always thought the game was going to end.
Focusing back to the present, I twisted in my seat to face Sawyer. She heard my movement and looked over. 'What's up?' I mouthed to her. She shook her head and I frowned.
She looked down real quick and then back up at me. 'Nothing', she mouthed. I frowned harder and crossed my arms and she sighed. She held out her palm and I glanced at it and back to her, cocking my head, confused. She sighed softly again while Ms. Reynolds prattled on about school pride and the joy of experiencing it "substance free".
'You dropped it', she mouthed, as she pointed to her hand.
I was hopelessly confused until I realized what she meant. I'd dropped her hand as the students had been staring at us. I suppose that could have looked like rejection to her...especially if she thought we were more than just close friends. Damn, I really didn't want to have that awkward conversation, but I really couldn't let her go on thinking anything was between us; nothing more than a close, almost familial bond that I couldn't bear to have taken from me. I loved her...just not like that. My heart was still Lil's.
I started to speak, breaking our silent speech so I could break her heart, if she had fallen for me. She beat me to it however. "Are you...mad at me?" she whispered. "Did I do something wrong?"
I cocked my head, confused again at the shift in the way the conversation was going. I'd hurt her feelings, made her think I was angry? I immediately shook my head once I realized where hers was at. "No." With only my eyes, I indicated the room. "Everyone was staring at us, at you." I shook my head. "I didn't want them looking at you like that, whispering about you, about us."
She laughed quietly and her entire face relaxed as she realized I had no bad feelings toward her. "Luc, they already talk about us." She shrugged her shoulders like it didn't matter. "I've already been pregnant, had a miscarriage and begged you to marry me." She leaned in while my eyes widened; I'd assumed we'd been linked sexually, but I hadn't actually heard the rumors. Only the ones about my lack of sobriety seemed to make it to me. Maybe I was just starting to tune out ones that didn't revolve solely around me. Wow, how narcissistic.
Sawyer continued when I leaned over to her, "From what I hear, Mr. Varner caught us full on hav**g s*x in the first floor men's room after school one afternoon." She giggled a little while my mouth dropped; these rumors were much more sordid than I'd imagined they'd be. "Of course, then the rumors say he joined us."
I laughed out loud to that and got a firm reprimand from Ms. Reynolds while Sawyer chuckled softly beside me. Muttering an apology to the teacher, I glanced over at where Sawyer was still laughing. She met my eye and the genuine happiness in her pale, gray ones lifted my spirits back up. This morning didn't matter, because here was one human being that looked at me, not only like I was worthwhile, but looked at me like I was the most worthwhile person in the school.
As we went about our English class, I thought over the rumors circulating about us and wondered what I could do about them. It didn't seem to bother Sawyer in the slightest, but I really didn't want her to suffer here because of me...and the nature of the rumors. I caught Sawyer glancing up at me a few times during class and thought her expression was close to one Lil used to give me, almost dreamy. Maybe we'd have to have that awkward conversation after all.
As we parted ways for the next class, I started to wonder how to bring it up to her. Maybe I should talk to my mom first. She'd been a looker in her youth, and had probably had to swat more than one suitor away. Not that I was a looker...although, before Lillian, I'd had my share of girls with crushes. There was this one girl who used to hang out by my locker every day. It used to make Darren laugh really hard, and he'd always teased me to kiss her. He seemed to think that would make her faint and he'd really wanted to see that. Sammy had smacked him roughly when she'd eventually heard him say that and calmly walked right up to the girl. She'd said a few sentences to her and the girl had nodded and walked off, never to haunt my locker again. I still to this day, have no idea what Sammy said to her. I could use a little of Sammy's magic now.
But Sawyer didn't strike me as one of those types, one to crush on a boy simply because he was attractive. Maybe I was wrong about the occasional feeling I got from her. I'd never been friends with a girl before. I mean, Sammy and I were friends, but I'd been friends with Darren first and she and I's friendship had been born out of their attraction to each other, and the fact that Darren had hardly gone anywhere without her. Not liking Sammy had just never been an option, not if I wanted to stay friends with Darren. But I had genuinely liked her, everyone did. She was my only real experience with girl friendships. Maybe I was just reading too much into it. Maybe I was starting to let the rumors warp the way I imagined she felt about me. Wow, there's that narcissism again. I'll have to work on that.
By the time I met up with Sawyer again, I'd gotten over myself, and any weirdness between us was completely gone. We were just the normal, friend-only couple that we always were. And I was happy. My happiness stayed with me all the way through Mr. Varner's class, even surviving a blushing incident when I caught a couple girls staring at the teacher and then back at Sawyer and me. Now that I knew what their smirk meant, I'd blushed furiously and studied my desk for a good twenty minutes, probably confirming their suspicions. Sawyer chuckled beside me, apparently catching the whole exchange.