My tired mind tried to process the long stream of words, but I sort of got stuck on the first part. I scrunched my brow, not really understanding. "You're...giving me a vacation?" I heard Sawyer beside me snicker for just a fraction of a second before she shifted it to a cough.
Ms. Reynolds drew her brows down to an almost imposing looking point. "No...it's a punishment, Lucas. Time for you to think about what you've done...whatever that may be." Her face relaxed and she looked at me pointedly. "It also brings you that much closer to our two strikes out rule. One more infraction like this, Luc...and you'll be gone."
I swallowed as that thought actually did sink in. "I didn't do this," I whispered.
Ms. Reynolds gave me a small smile, that clearly showed she completely didn't believe me. "Don't let it happen again, Luc." She looked down for a moment and with a small sigh looked back up. "We also..." She sighed heavily and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Luc, but the principal thinks you being in the Safe and Sound club is setting a bad example. I'm sorry...but you're out."
That actually shocked me more than the vacation I was being given. I stood up. Well, I tried to. It took a couple times before I completely did it. Sawyer stood up with me, supporting me with a hand on my chest. "What? No..." That was my free time with Sawyer, if they took that away from me, I'd be spending that time alone in my house...with thoughts I didn't need to be thinking anymore than I already did. I wanted Sawyer, I wanted her peace. "Please?"
Ms. Reynolds gave me a sympathetic look at the pleading in my voice. I glanced at my mother and she looked surprised. I hadn't told her about the club, and my obvious desire to stay in it was taking her back. I looked back to Ms. Reynolds with eyes that I hoped matched my voice. They couldn't take this from me too...
She bit her lip and then sighed again. "I'll talk to the principal again, Luc. Maybe..." She put a hand on her chin and then her face brightened. "I'll ask her about you seeing the counselor. Maybe if you complete a session with her, she'll consider letting you rejoin our group."
Her face brightened more as my mouth dropped. My addled brain stuck on the word "counselor". I didn't want a counselor...but I did want Sawyer. I looked back at her and she smiled at me encouragingly. "Yeah, okay." I found myself saying the words without even meaning to say them.
Ms. Reynolds made a pleased noise and even my mom seemed to sigh in relief. Ms. Reynolds walked over to me and put a hand on my arm. "I'm really glad this club has come to mean so much to you, Lucas." Her eyes took on an impassioned glow. "I know we can help you."
Internally, I sighed. Externally, I smiled slightly and nodded. I wanted to leave. I wanted to forget this day ever happened. I wanted to finally nap. With a swift goodbye hug from Ms. Reynolds and a great deal of help with my sluggish body from Sawyer (Mr. Varner had apparently took off on me the minute after he'd called my mom), I was finally in my mother's car and waving to Sawyer through the glass while she bit her lip and watched me pull away. After a quick and thankfully silent ride home, I was helped into bed, also silently, and gratefully fell asleep...letting my nightmare of a day seep off of me.
I'd been asleep for mere seconds it seemed when a loud voice across my room woke me up. "So, what the hell was that, Luc? You were wasted at school...you?" I cracked my eyes open and saw Darren on the far side of my bedroom twirling one of my footballs in his hand. Instantly, I knew that I'd never woken up, and one of my dead friends had decided to make an appearance in my drug-induced sleep. I wasn't in the mood for it at the moment.
"Go away...my head still hurts." I threw the sheets up over my aching skull and tried to ignore his loud chuckles.
"Go away? I finally got my shot at some screen time." I pulled back my covers to glare at him. He smirked at my not amused face. "Lil's been hogging it all." His grin turned devilish as he approached the bed. "Of course, she can entertain you in ways I can't." Tossing the football in the air, he groaned indecently as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Nice job on that midnight rendezvous by the way...that was awesome."
I blushed and then rolled my eyes. "I know you're just a dream, but quit poking around in my other dreams."
He laughed as he tossed the football a few more times. "But those are the interesting ones." He caught the ball and abruptly threw it at my chest. Luckily, I managed to catch it in time. "Besides," he pointed at his own head, "I'm you...it's not like I can keep you out of your own head." I gave him a blank look as I tried to absorb that, and he laughed again. He lay back on the bed as I sat up, tossing the football to the ground and running a hand through my hair. "Anyway, happy endings are the best," he muttered as he looked over at me pointedly. "Right?"
I blushed again. "Are you done?"
He laughed and sat up. "Yeah...I guess." He frowned as a sudden thought struck him. "Hey...you better not ever invite Sammy to your little sexcapades. I'll kick your ass."
I shook my head at him and then laughed at the absurdity of all of it. He eventually laughed with me. "It's good to see you, man. I've missed you."
Darren got a sappy look on his face. "Ah, do we get to hug now?"
I laughed and tossed my pillow at him. He laughed as he effortlessly caught it. I shook my head again, which suddenly felt fine, and his face tightened into seriousness. "Seriously, what was that, man? At school? What happened?"
My face got serious too as I looked over his darkening eyes. "I don't know."
He sniffed and cocked his head. "You need to figure it out, Luc. You didn't do it, so someone dosed you...and if it happens again..." He shrugged and I sighed and ran a hand down my face.
"I know...I'm screwed."
He laughed and I peeked at him from under my fingers. "God, Lucas...what you said to Ms. Reynolds. Damn, that was hot!" He laughed harder. "I wish I'd had the guts to tell her that."
I sighed heavily and laid my head back on the wall. "Crap...I'd forgotten about that. Everyone heard me say it too." Darren laughed some more and I lifted my head to glare at him. "It's really not that funny."
He cocked his head at me again, still chuckling. "Really? If I was the one that told her she was 'totally fuckable' you wouldn't be laughing your ass off right now?"
I tried to glare, but broke out into laughter instead. He had a point. If anyone but me had said it, I'd be rolling on the floor. As my laughs subsided, I tossed the covers off of me, looking over my fully dressed self with an amused shake of my head, and placed my feet on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed with Darren. His laughs died down too as he looked over at me, his elbows on his knees.
I stared at the shoes on my feet. "They're gonna make me see a counselor," I muttered sullenly.
"Good," Darren responded immediately beside me. I looked over at him and he shrugged. "You should talk to someone, Luc, after what you went through." I started to shake my head and object when he cut me off, "And no, talking to figments of your imagination doesn't count." He rolled his eyes and I looked back at my shoes.
"You guys are the only ones I want to talk to. You're the only ones that matter." My tone was soft, but firm.
He sighed and then chuckled and I looked over at him again. "What about that hot, fiery girl...Sawyer?" I grinned but then stopped and shook my head.
"No, I don't need to bring her into my drama...more than I already do." I exhaled loudly and slumped my head into my hands. "God, I totally kissed her. I'm not sure if she likes me like that but..."
"Did she kiss you back," Darren said simply.
I peered up at him, my hands still tangled in my hair. "Yeah....from what I can remember."
He smiled crookedly at me. "Well, then, yeah...she likes you."
I sighed and looked back at the floor. "Great...now I'm going to have to hurt her. I wish that hadn't happened." I sighed again.
"Why?" Darren stood and walked over to a mirror on the wall. On the inside edge, a picture of the four of us was tucked under the frame and he pulled it out to look at it. "She's pretty and interesting and you guys seem like you like each other. Why not go for it?" He looked back over to me, my eyes straying to the photo as his left it.
"Because I'm with Lil," I answered automatically.
"What?"
I looked from the photo to his face. His brown eyes were narrowed at me and his perpetually sticking up hair almost seemed to emphasize his questioning look. "I'm with-"
He interrupted me, "No, I heard you...I just don't get it." With the picture still in hand he walked over to stand beside me. "You're turning down a living girl who clearly adores you," he pointed to Lil in the photo, her thin arms encircling my neck, "for a dead girl, that you only get to be with...in your dreams?"
I swallowed the painful lump in my throat at the happy memory that photo was invoking in me. My mom had taken it on some random Saturday afternoon here at the house. There was nothing special about the day, it was just a Saturday, a Saturday we'd all spent together, a Saturday we'd thought we'd get hundreds more of. They'd died three weeks after that photo was taken.
"It feels real Darren. This feels real."
He tossed the photo at me, it flying into my chest before fluttering to the ground at my feet. I picked it up as he made an annoyed sound. My fingers traced the sharp edge of the picture before trailing down Lil's face. In the picture, Darren was standing behind a brilliantly smiling Sammy, his arms around her trim waist, his head resting against her neck. Lillian and I were standing next to them, my arms around her waist, her head tilted slightly to look up at me. She was so beautiful. For just a moment, I wondered if I could control my dream enough to bring her to me. I wanted to concentrate on it, but Darren snatched the photo from me and my train of thought vanished.
"You're a touch crazy, Luc," he muttered, still shaking his head.
I stood up and grabbing the picture from him, returned it to its spot on the mirror. Pressing it flat against the cool, reflective surface, I muttered, "Yeah...maybe. Killing your friends will do that to you."
A long sigh answered me and as my gaze shifted behind me in the mirror, I saw Darren's face soften in sympathy. He walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. He was about to speak, when suddenly, Sammy stepped out from behind him. I smiled as I met eyes with her in the mirror. Hers were a warm, beautiful golden-brown and her smile was soft and friendly as she walked up to Darren and grabbed his free hand.
"Hi, Lucas," she whispered.
I turned to look at her, her auburn hair shining in the dim light of my room. "Hey, Sammy...it's good to see you."
She nodded and bit her lip. She looked over at Darren and he looked back at her. The love that passed between them in that gaze hit me like a wrecking ball in the center of my chest, and for a moment, I wanted to sob for taking that love from this earth. I swallowed back the pain and watched my soul-mated friends.
"It's time to go, Darren," Sammy said softly, her other hand going to his cheek.