Lexie fell asleep on the way home, which gave me a chance to talk to Kay.
“Her violent episodes have been getting worse. Her therapist can’t figure it out, so they’ve been doing some more tests. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
She leaned her head on the hand she wasn’t using to drive. I wanted to say something, anything that would make sense, or make it better, but I’d learned a long time ago that words for things like this were useless. Even for me.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Davis. I’m just sorry I can’t do more.”
“Oh, sweetie, you’ve done more than a sister would have done, and I’m so grateful, but you have to have your own life. You’re in college now and you’ve got a lot of responsibility, and that doesn’t include taking care of Lexie. I’m her mother, that’s my job.”
I’d always hated it when people talked about being a parent as a job. Like it was something that was forced on you, something you were obligated to do. Not something that was a joy, a reason to get up in the morning. Not something that you were blessed with.
I glanced at Lexie, with her face mashed against the window and thought about the time when I’d had a crush on this guy, Andrew. We were in sixth grade, at a dance, and Lexie convinced me somehow to go up to him and ask him to slow dance.
Unlike in our fantasies, where the guys would smile and sweep us off our feet and then we’d go and make out under the bleachers and live happily ever after, he stuttered and said no. Crushed, I went and cried myself out on Lexie’s shoulder in the bathroom before she went up to him and verbally castrated him in front of all his friends before spreading a rumor about the microscopic size of his penis that followed him all the way through high school. That was Lex though. Extreme in every aspect of her life. It wasn’t until after the accident her mother found out about her secret self-inflicted navel piercing. By then it didn’t matter.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, sitting back in my seat.
Kay whispered something under her breath, but I heard it anyway.
“I wish you would.”
Chapter Fourteen
Zan
Zack texted me later that afternoon, asking if I wanted to go for a run with him. I usually ran alone, but then I could tell him to call Mom and he could fulfill his mandatory brotherly time and I could get another run in. It wasn’t exactly an ideal situation, but I’d suck it up.
“Hey bro,” he said, showing up at my door in a wife beater and black shorts. I had my long sleeves and pants on, as usual.
“Dude, it’s like a million degrees out. Why don’t you lose the sleeves?” He knew why. “You’ve got the tat now. Girls love shit like that.” My eyes found his scars, several criss-crossing his legs, and a few on his arms. Mostly from broken glass when we’d all be thrown from the car. His injuries were the least severe of the three of us. Even then, he’d gotten lucky.
I shook my head and closed my door behind us.
“You should call Mom. Steve wants to know how that new workout thing is going.” Steve and Zack had spent nearly the entire summer devising a new workout regimen for Zack that would make him faster, stronger, better. As if he wasn’t already.
“I have been such a slacker. It’s just been so nice to have some alone time with Katie without worrying about her mom walking in and asking us if we want some cookies.” Dear sweet Regina. She thought the sun shined out of Zack’s ass. Just like everyone else.
“Did I tell you about that time she actually did that?” He laughed as we exited the building. “I was right in the middle and she just barged in. I thought Katie was going to die.”
He jogged in place and earned a few approving glances from a pair of girls strolling by. He grinned and winked and checked out their asses. I was beginning to regret this.
“Come on, I’ll race you.” He shoved me in the chest and took off. I waited a half second and followed. Zack may have been stronger than I was in the muscle department, but I could kick his ass when it came to speed. All those muscles caused too much wind resistance.
I soon caught up with him as we dodged pedestrians and made our way down to the track that looped around the football field. Zack always preferred the track to the unpredictability of the woods.
I slowed to a jog and he fell into line beside me.
“You got laid yet?” Zack was terrible at starting conversations.
“I’m celibate now.”
“Bullshit. There’s plenty of girls here. What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m just not into that anymore.”
“Wouldn’t have anything to do with Hottie Lottie, would it?”
“Can you not call her that?”
“That answers my question, then.”
“Shut up.”
“You are such a p**sy.”
“Do you really think she’s going to go for the guy who she hates more than Satan?”
“That was a long time ago.”
“Two years isn’t a long time.”
“Why don’t you just work your freak angle? Lots of girls will go for that. Find someone else.”
I’d done someone else. I’d done a lot of someone elses, and I was done with it. So done.
Sensing he was hitting a brick wall, Zack changed direction.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us maybe next weekend. No pressure. You don’t have to talk to anyone. You can sit in the corner and be weird and I’ll try to convince you to play beer pong and you’ll tell me how much you hate beer and we’ll both get drunk and wind up passed out nak*d on the lawn. Sounds epic, right?”
I just shook my head as we passed a half-naked girl going in the opposite direction. Zack gave her a whistle and chuckled.
“Don’t you want to be bad again? I know you do. It calls to you.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to answer.”
He just sped up and kept laughing. I put on a surge of speed and shoved him and he almost fell, but regained his balance and shoved me back. We did another lap of running and shoving until we both collapsed in a heap on the hard surface.
“Bastard,” he said, coughing. He punched my right shoulder, wary of staying away from my left, where my scars were.
“Asshole.” I got him in the stomach. “Remember that time we counted punches?”
“I thought Mom was going to have a heart attack when she saw the bruises. I still say that I won that one.”
“You are so full of shit. I took twenty two and you only took twenty. We counted out loud, remember?”
We were such idiots.
“Well, I did save your life, so I’ll say you won the punching contest, and now we’re even.”
I shut my mouth and nodded.
When we were kids, we’d been playing hockey on a pond near our house on thin ice. I’d fallen through, and Zack had dived in and pulled me out. We both ended up in the hospital for hypothermia, but he was hailed as a hero, and even interviewed by the local news station. He’d never let me forget it.
“You hungry? I could go for a burger.” He hocked a spit wad and shot it out onto the ground. “Come on.” He held his hand out and pulled me up.
“Sperm to worm?” It was the same thing he’d said when he pulled me out of the pond. Brothers for life.
“Cradle to grave,” I answered.
Lottie
“I’d rather stay home and watch a black and white movie than go out and get drunk. At least I’ll remember it in the morning,” Audrey said Monday after class.
“Exactly.” It was like she was taking my thoughts and saying them out loud.
“Plus, the guys are a lot sexier. I mean, you set Mr. Darcy on a horse next to some frat boy with a keg, and who do you want to sweep you off your feet?”
It was freaky how much we had in common.
I still hadn’t broached the Will topic, but he wouldn’t shut up about it ever since he found her on Facebook and started stalking her.
“Are you free at noon? I’m meeting my brother at the Union for lunch.”
“Um, yeah, sure.” She seemed hesitant. She probably smelled the set-up.
“Cool. I’ll meet you in front of the taco place.”
“Sounds good. Listen, I gotta get to poly sci, but I’ll see you then.”
“Bye,” I said, and we parted.
I texted Will saying that all systems were go for the set-up and he sent a smiley face back. I could just picture him. He was at least much more presentable now that his hair was shorter. He looked more surfer dude and less I-smoke-so-much-pot-I-don’t-care-about-how-long-my-hair-gets-or-what-I-look-like.
***
“Where is she?” Will said when I met him in front of the taco place in the Student Union. It was supposed to be like a Taco Bell, but they couldn’t call it that, so it was called the Salsa Hut.
Potato, tomato, as Will would say.
“Keep your shirt on, she’s coming. She texted me like, two seconds ago saying she was on her way. Oh, there she is.” I spotted Audrey’s gorgeous hair from the entrance. She was one of those girls who always looked like they had a wind machine on them. Her hair moved in a non-existent breeze as she walked.
“Christ,” Will said under his breath.
“Close your mouth,” I said. He had, indeed, been gaping.
“Hey,” she said, her eyes flicking over Will and then settling back on me. I tried to ignore the uneasy expression on her face.
“This is Will, my brother. Will, this is Audrey Valdez.”
“Nice to meet you,” Will said. Audrey nodded. I could already taste the awkward.
“I’m going to get in line for nachos,” I said to try and break the moment.
“That sounds good,” Audrey said.
“After you,” Will said, stepping back so Audrey could go behind me. The only time Will was chivalrous was when he was really, really trying to impress a girl. Once he had her impressed, he went back to his normal ways.
“Thanks,” she said, giving him a quick glance before stepping behind me. I really felt the need to make conversation while we waited, but I didn’t want to blurt out any of Will’s embarrassing stories. There were just so many…
I risked a quick glance over my shoulder and saw Will checking Audrey out from behind.
Fuck me, he mouthed at me. It took all my strength not to roll my eyes. We all got our food and found an empty table, which was hard to do in the middle of the lunch rush. Will hurried to pull Audrey’s chair out for her. As an afterthought, he did the same for me.
“Why Will, did you take gentleman lessons?” He shot me a shut up Lottie look. I just smiled sweetly and sat down, crossing my ankles.
Will ended up sitting next to Audrey, and she kept throwing him nervous glances, like he was a vampire about to bite her. I was going to have to apologize for this later when Will was gone.
“So, Lottie says you’re a poly sci major? What do you want to do with that?”
“I’ll probably end up going to law school. Both my parents are lawyers.” I’d told him this already, but he had to start the conversation somewhere.