As soon as dinner is over and coffee is served to the adults, and hot cocoa to the kids, we all retire to the living room to watch It’s a Wonderful Life, another tradition. Mom grabs my arm and shoves me toward the recliner as everyone else takes the couch. There aren’t a whole lot of places to sit, so extra chairs are brought in. I see Mom whisper something to Sawyer and he walks over to me.
“Care to share?” Back in high school, we always used to sit here and cuddle when he came over while my parents were on the couch.
I move over, but there’s only so much room. The only way we can both sit is if I’m half on top of him, which was Mom’s plan all along.
Why doesn’t she just shove the two of us in my room, lock the door and tell us that we’re not allowed out until we’ve re-consummated our relationship? Actually, it wouldn’t shock me if she did that.
But I get up and he sits down and pats his lap. I give him a look that means, “No funny business” before I sit down next to/on top of him.
“Does everyone have everything they need?” One of the minions calls for more whipped cream, so Mom brings that. It’s unlikely that they’ll sit still for this whole movie. It’s also Christmas Eve and they’re all hopped up about Santa.
“Should I tell them that Santa is an anagram of Satan?” Sawyer whispers in my ear.
“Sure, if you want to crush their sweet little souls,” I respond. He laughs softly, and it tickles.
I shift a little, and find the exact right place to lie against Sawyer. I’ve done this enough times to know right where I fit. Another time warp.
Sawyer waits for me to adjust and then nudges me with his shoulder to sit up so he can put his arm around me. I let him get away with it because protesting won’t get me anywhere. Besides, it’s more comfy this way.
The wine is making me sleepy and I’m all warm, and it’s like my body is associates Sawyer with being comfortable. I’ve never been as relaxed with another human as I am with him. Not even Allison.
His hand starts playing with my hair, and I’m not even sure if he’s aware that he’s doing it. When we were kids, he used to tug on my curls, but then it transformed into him playing with them, wrapping them around his fingers, pulling them and watching them spring back. I never knew my hair could be that amusing.
There are no comments allowed during the viewing of the movie, per my mother. Anyone caught talking or making comments will be given the hairy eyeball and sent to bed without supper. This includes the kids, who are busy stuffing their faces with pumpkin seeds and popcorn.
Sawyer makes a comment about Jimmy Stewart and I shush him. He knows the rules.
As the movie rolls on and George Bailey decides that suicide is the best method of getting out of losing a bunch of money, I get more tired and let my eyes close while Sawyer’s hands continue to run through my hair.
“Merry Christmas, Poison.” A voice says, waking me up. My eyes open and it takes a second to remember where I am. Not on the recliner, that’s for sure.
“You fell asleep,” Sawyer says in explanation. We’re in my room, and it’s dark and quiet.
“What time is it?”
“Just after midnight. Wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. Look outside.” I sit up and peer out the window and see that there are about two inches of white covering everything and more is falling.
“Why are you still here?” I’m not trying to be rude.
“I took Mom home and came back. She was tired, so she went to bed and I didn’t want to sit at home alone. You’ve never complained about me sneaking into your room before.” That is true, and he’s done it more times than I can count.
I get up and stretch.
“Stupid wine,” I say.
“You could never hold your wine. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.”
Not much has changed. The more time I spend with him, the more I realize that. They say time heals, but time doesn’t make you forget.
“What did you get me?”
“Well, that’s another reason I’m here. Your present is something that we’re going to be doing in just a few hours. Do you think you can sneak out and get back before your parents notice? I don’t want to kidnap you from your family celebration.”
“No, I think we’ll be fine. Drew and Stacy are doing their family thing in the morning and then they’re coming over. The only ones who get up early are the kids, but they aren’t here.” Thank God. I don’t know if I could deal with that.
“Perfect. Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep.” He goes for the door, but I don’t want him to be all alone.
“Wait. You can stay.” He turns and I can’t read his expression in the dark.
“Are you sure?”
“It makes me sad to think of you being alone.”
“Yeah.” Sometimes the things you want to say don’t need to be said. They’re just . . . understood.
Sawyer comes back and takes his jacket off and sets it on the floor. I get up and find my pajamas. He turns his back and I change quickly in the small space. He takes his shirt off over his head, and then hesitates before taking his pants off.
“I’ve seen it before, Sawyer. It’s not going to shock me.” I pull the blankets back and wait for him to get in. He always slept on the wall side, with me on the outside.
He gets in and I get in after him, pulling the covers over both of us.
The last time we slept like this, neither of us was wearing anything.
My body blazes with awareness of him. He’s kind of impossible to ignore, since the bed is so small, and I’ve been in it with him so many times. His arm goes around me and pulls me into his chest. I shift so I fit in the right place. Sawyer makes a little sound in his throat.
“Goodnight,” I say, but I don’t close my eyes.
Sawyer’s arm tightens around me and his breathing starts getting a little harsh. I also feel his pounding heart on my back.
And something else, a little lower down . . .
Chapter 9
Sawyer tries to shift and move away from me to hide his hard-on, but there’s really no place for him to go. He’s squirming and it’s just getting worse and I have to make a decision. Ignore it, get mad at him, or do something about it.
I choose the last thing. Reaching behind me, I find the bulge in his boxers and stroke it. His breath stops as I remove my hand and then turn over to face him.
“That’s not my present, is it?” I whisper as his eyes glow through the darkness.
“No. It’s not. But you can unwrap it anyway. If you want.”
“Okay.” It’s only one word, but it breaks the barrier I’ve been putting between the memories and the present. It almost shatters like glass and everything rushes forward and then I’m kissing him. But this time I’m not stopping. My hands are busy too, racing all over his body, touching all the places I remember so well. His are going through my hair and then are tugging at my shirt until it’s off and on the floor. He doesn’t ask me if I’m sure. He doesn’t ask me to slow down. He doesn’t have to. He knows.
I don’t care that I’m leaving and he’s staying. I don’t care that my parents are not that far away. I don’t care about anything but his body and mine and what they can do together.
Both of us make little desperate sounds as the rest of our clothes hit the floor. His lips leave my mouth and move down my neck and then down further. He knows exactly what I like and where I like it. Learning had been fun when we were younger, but being sure is something else altogether. His mouth goes first to one nipple and then the other, giving them equal attention as I arch my back. He rolls us so I’m on my back and then kisses his way down my stomach, dipping his tongue into my bellybutton, which makes the ache in my core intensify. He’d discovered that was one of the “buttons” he could push that would send me over the edge.
I moan and he moves even lower and I regret the fact that I’ve stopped grooming down there because I didn’t see much of a point, but Sawyer doesn’t seem to care as he closes his mouth over my clit. One of the fabulous things about Sawyer is that he isn’t afraid to do anything like that. Allison had told me about her first boyfriend who would thrust a few times, give her a kiss and call it good. Sawyer was always concerned with me enjoying myself as much as he did, and it appears he still is.
“Oh, Sawyer,” I moan as he sucks on my cl*t and then plunges one of his fingers into me. I can totally take the credit for teaching him how to do this. He moves just how I want him to, adding a second finger to the first and increasing the pressure on my cl*t and driving me over the edge, first once and then a second time. My body is complete jelly as he crawls back upward. We’ve barely said anything, almost as if talking will burst the bubble we’re in. I would work on him with my hands and my mouth, but I don’t think there’s time.
I also don’t think there’s time for protection, and part of me wants to say, “fuck it,” and take the risk, but my common sense tells me that’s not the best idea.
Sawyer’s arms are shaking as he holds himself over me. Then I remember that I probably still have some leftover in the drawer of the tiny table beside my bed. From last time. Hopefully they haven’t expired. Not sure how long those suckers last, but I reach behind me and pull one out, holding it up so he can see it.
“Oh thank God,” he says as I tear it open and hand it to him so he can roll it on. As soon as that sucker is on, he’s positioning himself and then he’s inside me with one hard thrust that pushes me into the mattress.
“Jesus Christ,” Sawyer says, closing his eyes before he pulls back and thrusts again. He picks up my legs and throws them over his shoulders so he can get deep. I remember the first time we tried this position and I wonder if he does. He picks up the pace and I thrust my h*ps up to meet him as we both drive each other over the edge again. I’ve got so much pent up that I come again, tightening around him and he comes too, much quicker than we have in the past.
He exhales and his arms shake as he lowers my legs and then himself on top of me. Both of us are covered in sweat and I have to catch my breath. He moves us so that we’re facing each other. With one hand, he pushes some of my hair back.
“Merry Christmas,” he says and gives me a soft sweet kiss.
“Merry . . . Christmas,” I say, punctuating each word with a kiss. Who needs mistletoe?
Sawyer and I wish each other “Merry Christmas” for the rest of the night, stopping only when we’re absolutely exhausted. We have a lot of time to make up for, it appears.
God I forgot how much I missed sex. I’d thought about having a fling with a random guy just to get off, but I could never go through with it. He’d do something and I’d realize he wasn’t Sawyer and then I didn’t find him attractive at all. None of them were him.
“I missed you, but I missed this, too,” he says as the dawn light starts to creep into the room. It’s almost time for us to sneak out for my surprise and we’ve barely gotten any sleep. I don’t mind.