Before I can say anything she straightens and blurts out, "I had no idea you two were intimate. I thought it was a shoot." She drops the fabric that was clutched between her fingers. The look on her face tells me that she's equally as horrified.
I lift my hand to silence her, "It was a shoot, but - " I shrug like I don't know what happened "things took an interesting turn. I would have told you, you know. If we were..." I trail off. The knot in my throat is strangling me. If we were what, Anna? There's nothing between me and Cole, save a few kisses. In the back of my mind, I hear his voice - that hushed tone confessing that he's falling in love with me. I can't ignore it.
Regina watches me for a moment. She doesn't seem to know what to say. "It's not my place to ask or know about anything like that. You don't need to tell me anything, Miss Lamore. I just hope that I didn't make you so uncomfortable that I lose my job." Regina's face flushes as she says it. The woman could have avoided me for days and never asked, but she's too blunt for that.
I smile. I like her straight-forwardness. Shaking my head I say, "Your job isn't affected by my stupidity. I promise." She smiles at me and I nod.
When I turn to leave, she says, "For what it's worth, I haven't seen Mr. Stevens with anyone for some time. You must have really turned his head."
I stop and look back at her, "What do you mean?"
She hunches over the box and goes back to work. I can tell she doesn't want to say more, but she does, "Let's just say that his playboy ways are something of an illusion."
I don't know what to say, so I nod. Regina goes back to work. I walk away feeling more confused than before. I wander out of the studio, planning on going for a ride on my motorcycle to clear my head when I notice Cole's car is gone. No Porsche. I close my eyes and shake my head. What did I do? Sighing deeply, I walk over to the bike and lean against it.
It has to be me, right? I mean, Cole was in the moment and then something made him run. It was like he was sprayed with ice water. He didn't even stick around to give me an explanation. I can't figure him out and its driving me nuts. I wonder if that little shoot just destroyed our relationship. I wish I could take it back. I wish I hadn't done it. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to cry. I rub my eye with the back of my hand when a voice makes me jump.
"It's beach time baby! I figured why wait until you invite me. I mean, how hard could it be to find this place?" Emma is standing there with her head tilted to the side and a wry smile on her face.
"Emma," I turn toward her and feel the tears break free.
"Whoa!" she says when I wrap my arms around her and start sobbing in her ear. She pats my back, "What's wrong? What happened?"
I shake my head, too upset to talk. Sniffling I say, "Let's just get out of here. Tell me you drove, because I can't see straight to drive us."
She nods, taking me to her car on the other side of the house. When we're inside, I bite back the sobs that want to keep coming as tears stream down my cheeks.
"What the hell happened?" she asks, looking over at me.
"I thought everything happened, but it turned out to be nothing. Emma, take me away from here."
Chapter 13
We drive along the parkway. The scent of the ocean fills my head as I tell Emma what happened with Cole. She listens and doesn't say anything for a long time.
When she finally speaks, she seems confused, "Edward seems to think you guys are still together."
I slam my head back onto the seat and look up at the ceiling. "No, Em. We broke up a while ago. He took it really hard." Silence fills the air as the little car bobs and weaves through traffic. After a few moments I ask, "I guess he's not doing too well?"
She shakes her head, "Apparently not. He said you needed space, but that you guys were fine. He's always been a bit of an idealist, but this is a little weird - even for him." She tilts her head to the side as she changes lanes, saying, "Then again, it's not like I'm usually friends with his girlfriends. You know how people can act one way with one person and totally different around another. It seems like my brother's got a little of that going on.
"But he's not what's bothering you. Why are you so bent out of shape? I mean, did anything happen with Cole before now?"
I shake my head, staring out the window. "Not really. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. It's not like Cole promised me anything. I just hoped that - " I swallow my words. I don't know what happened, but I intend to find out. Things can't stay like this between us. I don't want to push Cole, and I don't want to take something he isn't willing to give. I just wish I knew why. There's something between us, something preventing him from acting on his feelings. I feel it stuck there like a chasm that will swallow us whole.
Silence fills the car. Emma finally says, "You really like him, don't you?" I nod. She laughs, "When you first met him, I thought you hated his guts. You did a 180 pretty fast, Anna. Even for you."
"Even for me? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing bad," Emma says. "Don't take it like that. There are two types of people that flip that fast. The first group is the flakes, the people who don't know what the hell they want. That's not you. You're in the second group - the people who know exactly what they want, but they can't find it."
"The thing is, I think I have found it. Cole isn't like anyone I've ever known." He's passionate, driven, powerful.
"He's kind of old for you, isn't he?"
"Thanks for stating the obvious, Em." I snap. "Sorry," I say pushing my hair out of my face. I look over at her. "Do you think that's why he's acting the way he is? Because I'm too young?"
"Anna, if I ever have a clue why a guy does anything I'll die of shock." She darts between cars as we drive toward the city. She glances at me before jerking the wheel back, "One thing is certain - he thinks you're hot and is too chicken to act on it. You can either forget the whole thing happened or corner him and get your answer."
That sounded like a bad idea. Cornering Cole. I shiver thinking about it. We drive in silence when it finally dawns on me that Emma drove two hours to see me and didn't call first. I glance at her, just noticing that she seems happy, but is trying to hide it. A lopsided smile spreads across my lips, "You're awesome, you know that?"
She laughs, "Yup! But what'd I do?"
"Something major had to happen for you to come all the way out, without a phone call..." I smile at her, waiting for her to tell me. When she grins, I know I'm right.
"I got a job! It's mine, Anna."
"That's great! Is it the one you wanted, over at the paper?"
Emma's giddy now. She nods, "Yup! All I have to do is finish the internship, graduate, and it's onto the lowest branch of the newspaper totem pole." She squeals and I can't help but feel excited for her. "It's perfect, Anna. And oh my God! You should have seen me at the interview. I nailed it! Like, totally nailed it! I'll be working alongside Stacy James - "
"No way," I say leaning forward.
Nodding enthusiastically, she slaps her hands on the steering wheel and squeals, "I know, right? He'll oversee the internship and I'll start getting my own stories in a few months. It's totally perfect!"
"I'm so happy for you, Em. I know how much you wanted this. You're gonna rock it. Just imagine, your own newspaper article with a little square picture of your head. It'll be retweeted worldwide and you'll become an overnight sensation."
She snorts, "That's why I was coming to get you! I knew you'd be the perfect person to celebrate with!" She glances at me, "I have a beach bag filled with towels, bikinis, and trashy romance books. My original plan was to lounge on your beach, but I think some time away from Cole will help your brain work better. We need a Cole-free zone. Why don't we detour to Jones Beach and hang out for a while? You can relax and I can celebrate."
Leaning my head back against the seat, I say, "That sounds completely perfect."
Emma cuts across six lanes of traffic and I think I'm going to die. We make it onto the exit ramp for the beach and we both start laughing.
Chapter 14
The beach is one of my favorite places - when it's empty. Today it's overflowing with people. Emma parks in a distant field and we pick a spot on the sand between several other sun-seekers. I lift my face and breathe in deeply. The sound of the ocean fills my ears, as the salty breeze lifts my hair. Emma throws down the towels and smooths them out. While Em runs off to change, I lay down on the towels in my tank and cutoff jeans, adjusting my sunglasses so they're in the right place. As I lace my fingers behind my neck, I close my eyes.
This is perfect. It'll give me time to think, to decide what I want to do before I see Cole again. Part of me wants to ignore the whole thing and not deal with the drama, because since I met Cole I've noticed that is the one thing he promises - lots of drama. I'm not sure if I'm up for that. Especially with the way my life is. I have plenty of drama on my own. Kicking it up a notch with Cole might make my head implode.
You're a coward, Anna, a voice whispers in the back of my mind. Maybe I am. Maybe Cole's not the right guy, but as soon as I think it, I know that's wrong. Cole feels right.
The sound of his voice makes me jump, "Anna," Edward says. His shadow falls over me. I squint up at him, wondering how he spotted me. I'm packed between tons of people and after what Emma said, I really don't want to talk to him right now.