We're both breathing hard when he yanks my hands and slams them down over my head, stretching me. As he does it, our gazes lock, and now my shirt has crawled up, revealing more than I'd normally show. I feel the bare skin on my stomach against his shirt. It makes me feel like I'm falling. I don't want it to stop. There's no laughter, just ragged breathing as we stare at each other. He remains on top of me and I can't move.
I feel lost. My head is swimming, stuck in the haze that comes with being high from laughter. The way he looks at me sends a shiver through my body. He feels it move through me, but he doesn't release me. I don't want him to. I want to know what this passionate man will do, how he treats his lovers. I can't ignore the dream I had last night at my parents' house.
I close my eyes slowly, and look back into his beautiful face, "Do I really have to beg, Cole?" My voice is too deep, too sensual. I meant to be playful, but can't manage it. My voice betrays me and my innocent question sounds anything but innocent. Heat rushes to my cheeks, and it feels like every bit of my dream is painted across my face. I don't breathe as I watch him, waiting for him to react, but he doesn't.
Cole's expression doesn't change - his intense gaze darkens, his lips part. There is no smile on his face. Not anymore. Something changed, a moment of flirtation that crossed a line. We both know it. Cole's grip on my wrists tightens; his eyes are still locked on mine. His taller frame allows him to pull me slightly, stretching my body. My br**sts push into his chest harder. I gasp, wishing, wanting something that I can't quiet comprehend. Every inch of my skin feels cold and hot at the same time. Cole's lips are just above mine. I want him to pull us together, and nip me, taste my kiss, and then do it all again.
Cole's body is tense, every muscle perfectly formed. His ribs expand as he tries to steady his breath. I can feel his heart pounding when he tugs me. The movement makes him lay flat against my chest. His eyes are so dark.
He whispers, "Hell, yes. Beg for it, Anna. Beg me..." His lips are so close to mine, but he won't kiss me. I wriggle beneath him, trying to close the distance, but he won't let me.
Before either of us can say another word the chime from the front door sounds. We split apart. Cole springs to his feet, rubbing his hands through his hair. His back is to me as he leaves the room to let the repair guy in. I can't read the expression on his face, but the way he moves, the way his broad shoulders slant as he walks away - it looks like regret.
My stomach falls. I wonder if he regrets not kissing me, or regrets being in that position with me at all. I'll never ask him.
Chapter 3
When Cole returns, I'm working at my desk. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He doesn't notice. When he sits down he acts the way he did before our roll on the floor. My stomach is twisting in knots. Looking at him makes me want to touch him, his beautiful face, his silky hair, so I turn back to my computer. The screen glows in front of me. I edit pictures until I can't see anymore. The world has turned blurry, and my eyes sting. Cole tells me to leave several times, but I won't. The work isn't done yet, and in truth, I don't want to leave him. I want to see if there's more there. If he'll take me in his arms when the last photo is edited, and the computers are shut off. But, he doesn't.
We speak to each other like good friends and nothing more. I've become accustomed to his voice, the intensity of his gaze. Passion burns within him in a way that I couldn't have imagined. When we finally get through with work, we ride the elevator down to the lobby together. It's past midnight. I cancelled my break-up dinner with Edward to finish working. That was the only good that came out of staying late.
Cole is leaning against the metal rail in the elevator. His eyes are on the side of my face. I have my head tipped back against the wall, tilted up, eyes closed. Every muscle in my body aches. Between the heat and the number of hours I've been awake, I can barely stand. The thought of walking and then taking multiple trains home clouds my thoughts.
Finally he breaks the silence, "You shouldn't go home tonight." His words sink into me. I wonder if I'm hallucinating when I open my eyes and look at him. He's staring straight at me, acting like he just said something completely reasonable.
I know what he means, but I smile and say faintly, "Yeah Cole? Where should I go?" I shift my weight to the other foot. I can't look at him. I don't want any of the hope that's filling my chest. It's telling me that he wants me, that he likes me, that he'll act on it. I beat it down, and stuff it into a closet at the back of my mind.
He leans an arm above me. Tilting my face up to see his, he says, "Come home with me. I can tell you're exhausted - "
I stare at him. My heart is pounding. I can't tell what he's thinking, what he's offering. I play it safe. Shaking my head, I say, "It's okay. The subway isn't too far and I'll be home in less than an hour - "
His hand cups my cheek, "My place is less than ten minutes from here. Think about it. In fifteen minutes you could be in a hot shower, in thirty you could be relaxing with your feet up." He reaches for a strand of hair and tucks it behind my ear. "Come on, Lamore. I can't turn you loose on the streets. What if someone molests you?"
Lamore. He put that distance there, like we're buds - but he's tucking hair behind my ear and standing too close for that. I don't understand what he's doing. It's like he wants me, but hasn't committed to the idea yet.
My voice is light, "Oh, and you won't?" I laugh, but it sounds hollow. I tell myself it's because I'm tired. It has nothing to do with making bad decisions based on libido in an elevator.
He leans closer, his lips nearly brushing mine. When he speaks, his warm breath slips across my mouth, "Not unless you want me to - "
Our eyes lock. It's the first time either of us has said anything, made any indication that... that what, Anna? My inner nun is beating me over the head with a ruler. He's too old. He's too wild. He's nothing I want, nothing I need. Cole Stevens is chocolate-covered sin and I need someone steady, like fiber. My mind flashes to Edward, to vanilla, good old reliable Edward.
I smile softly at him and lean my head back against the wall. "I can't," I hear myself say. "I have to get home and pack. We're supposed to leave for Long Island tomorrow and I haven't packed a thing. And there's something else I have to do. It's important." I'm biting my lower lip. His eyes fixate on the movement.
Cole nods, saying, "I see." Stepping back, he slides his hands into his pockets.
I realize that it sounds like I'm blowing him off. I reach out and touch his shoulder. He looks down at me more cautiously than before, "Cole, I really have to do something. I need to break up with my boyfriend. I can't leave for three months and lead him on. I was supposed to do it tonight." I'm staring into his eyes, thinking but I want to stay with you and here you are offering and I'm saying no. What the hell is wrong with me?
"I was just offering you a bed for the night," he says, like he meant nothing - like I mean nothing. The elevator chimes that we are on the ground floor. The doors slide open and save Cole from getting slapped. I want to scream at him. I want him to stop playing and tell me what he thinks, but he strides away. When we exit the building I grab his arm. He stops and looks at me.
"Tell me what you want." There. I said it. Point blank. My heart is slamming into my ribs and I feel like I can't breathe.
He nods, smiling, and continues to walk toward a black car parked at the curb. I follow. Emotions are flowing through me in a maddening rush. I don't know exactly what I want from him or what I expect him to say, and when he responds I can hear the darkness in his voice warning me away, "Miss Vanilla, you shouldn't say things like that to me. You won't like where they lead you."
By the time he pulls the car door open, he's back to being carefree happy Cole. He looks apathetic, like he doesn't care about me one way or another, but his eyes tell another story. His eyes are nearly twenty years older than mine, and have seen things mine will never see. It's like the speck of soul that shines through has been snuffed out and replaced with a Cole that knows the world and knows there's no future for us. My stomach falls into my shoes. I don't like that world.
Before he slides into the car, he looks at me and says, "Last chance." The way he looks at me makes it clear that this is an invitation to his bed, not his home.
Something about the way he says it sounds like a one-night-stand. While Cole might be insanely hot, I'm not that kind of girl. I shake my head. My voice is soft, "I don't do one-nighters. Sorry." Before he can say anything else, I turn on my heel and walk away.
Chapter 4
The sun spills into the room. I cover my face with a pillow. I want to go back to sleep, but I can't stop thinking about Cole. Miss Vanilla. Ha! If he only knew. I breathe deeply and finally decide to get up. It's a little after six in the morning. I hear Emma in the kitchen. When I emerge I see her dressed in work clothes, sipping a cup of coffee.
"Hey," I say rather groggily.
"Well, look who's home. Edward was looking for you."
I nod, "Yeah, I had to work late last night." She glances at me over the rim of her cup. "I told him to come by in a couple of hours."
"So, the new boss is a pain in the ass?"
I shrug, "Maybe a little." I take a cup and fill it with coffee. I feel her eyes on my back while I do it and I start to wonder what she's thinking. "Why do you ask?"