Opening my eyes, I gazed at his concerned face. Wanting to ease his fear that I would reject him for this, I playfully muttered, "You're such a whore."
Shaking his head at me, he pulled me back down to the bed with him. After a moment, I remembered that we both had things to do today, people waiting for us. Just when I stirred, to remind Kellan that he needed to call Gavin, our bedroom door was tapped on. My mother's concerned voice asked, "Kiera, honey, is everything okay?"
Kellan stirred beneath me, moving me aside so he could stand up. Wishing I could pull him back into my arms, I sat up and adjusted my tight dress. "Yeah, come on in."
As she walked into the room, she glanced at Kellan with mixed emotions. I could tell she wasn't thrilled about what she'd heard downstairs. Mom liked Kellan a great deal, but she was just as protective as Dad, and Kellan made her nervous. Attractiveness, fame, youth, and monogamy didn't usually mix well. Even though she tried her best to have faith in my beau, she was certain he'd eventually stray from me.
But she didn't know Kellan like I did. And I was sure he wouldn't. He'd had that life already, and he was looking for something more. He was looking for a lifetime . . . with me.
I threw on a bright smile as she walked toward me. Kellan looked between us, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to go call Gavin . . . and check on my car. I'll see you in a minute." I nodded at him and kissed his fingers before he left.
Mom watched him go, then sat on the bed with me. She didn't ask me anything, but her earlier question was still clear in her green eyes. Putting a hand on her knee, I repeated my earlier answer. "I'm fine, Mom, really."
She seemed baffled by my response. "How can you be fine with him and that girl . . . ?"
She didn't finish her question and I shrugged. "It was ages ago, long before he met me. That tape doesn't have anything to do with me, and now that the shock of it has worn off . . . I'm fine."
Mom wore a look of confusion, and I laughed a little as I laid my head on her shoulder. "He's not that guy anymore and . . ." I paused, my own failings suddenly hitting me. "I can't hold his past against him."
Hearing my tone, Mom pulled back so that I had to look at her. "What about your past?" She scanned my face. "Do you want to tell me what really happened with you and Denny, honey?"
I blinked, taken aback. Mom and Dad had both accepted it when I'd told them that Denny had left me for a job in his home country. But Mom was observant, concerned, and curious, and had no doubt melded together guilty looks and hushed comments to form a Denny-Kellan-Kiera puzzle that was much bigger than the tiny piece that I'd admitted to her. I was sure she suspected the truth. Feeling my eyes well, I started to shake my head. No, I didn't want to tell her how horrible a human being I was, that she'd raised that sort of girl, that I was even more flawed than the man who'd made a sex tape with his ex-roommate. I would prefer it if she continued to think of me as sweet and innocent. But then . . . I would be a liar if I let her keep thinking that way.
Hanging my head, I whispered, "I had an affair with Kellan. Denny found out and . . . left me." Guilty tears coursed down my cheeks. Peeking up at her, I choked out, "I'm so sorry, Mom."
Her eyes were glossy as she watched my pain. I waited for her biting words of condemnation, but they didn't come. Instead, she tossed her arms around me and hugged me tight. That only made me cry harder. Resting my cheek on her shoulder, I let go of the dam holding back my remorse. I sobbed in her arms as she soothingly cooed in my ear and rubbed my back.
My tears subsiding, I lifted my head. "Do you hate me?" My throat closed up with my words.
Mom dried my tears with her thumb. A soft smile on her lips, she shook her head. "No, of course I don't hate you."
I shook my head at her. "Aren't you going to yell? Tell me how awful I am?"
I started to lower my head and she grabbed my chin. She held my gaze for long seconds before answering. "There's nothing I could say to you that would punish you more than you've already punished yourself." She shook her head, her long brown locks swishing around her shoulders. "Now, if you had no regret, then your father and I would take turns tearing you a new one." She smiled wider and cupped my cheek. "But this is obviously something that has torn you up inside, and I can't imagine that you would ever do this to yourself again."
I violently shook my head. No, I didn't want to ever go through that torture again. She grinned at me as she dropped her hand. "I'm actually more upset that you got married behind my back." Crossing her arms over her chest, she pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. "You want to explain that?"
I sighed, knowing I wouldn't get out of this one quite so easily.
It took me a while, but I finally convinced Mom that I'd really only gotten engaged last night. Kellan and I considered our moment at the bar a marriage, but I knew the outside world wouldn't see it that way, and it definitely wasn't a legally binding ceremony. My message to Mom and Dad had been pretty short, with no explanations. I'd basically only told them that Kellan and I had gotten married and I wouldn't be home until the morning. It really was a miracle that Dad hadn't sent S.W.A.T. out after me.
Once Mom understood what we'd done, she laughed in relief."Oh good, I was afraid you'd taken the red eye to Vegas and had some Elvis impersonator marry you." She shook her head as she grabbed my hand to examine my promise ring wedding band. "That's not a proper way to start a life together . . . if you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"
I nodded emphatically. That was one thing I was absolutely certain of.
A deep resolution marked Mom's features, then she smiled. "I guess we better get started on planning this wedding, then?" Her eyes brightening even more, she clasped her hands together. "We could do it in December, after Anna has her baby . . . oh, or in the spring, when everything is in bloom?"
My mind spun as Mom started ticking off things we would need to do between now and the wedding date. She would surely pick out for me: my dress, my bridesmaid dresses, a guest list, invitations, flowers, music, the venue, a caterer, the wedding cake, tuxes . . .
The list went on and on and I put my hands over hers to stop her from continuing to ramble. "Mom, I don't need anything fancy." I smiled in a lovesick way. "Kellan and I are already married. We just need to make it legal."
Mom gave me a blank look, then asked, "Do you want to have it here in Seattle, or back home in Athens? Because all of our family is back there, and making them fly out to you wouldn't be very nice."
I sighed. Mom wasn't going to let this one go. I was going to be dolled up and paraded down a rose-lined aisle whether I wanted it or not. It twisted my stomach into knots just thinking about it.
Wanting to change the focus, I murmured, "I should go talk to Dad, calm him down." He was probably still a little thrown by the whole sex-tape thing, as well as the marriage thing. Poor Dad. Today was just not his day.
I decided to change into some comfortable clothes before I faced my father. This dress tended to hike up my thighs, and I didn't want to be constantly readjusting it as he scolded me. It also didn't allow for a bra thanks to its square, super-low-cut neckline; a perk on my wedding night, but not so great for a one-on-one with Pops.
Mom was perky as she watched me throw on some jeans and a T-shirt; she was still planning the wedding details, going on and on about the ideal floral arrangement. Once dressed, I headed downstairs. Mom's description of my wedding ceremony never ceased, and her words filtered into my head with each step I took. As I plodded down the steps, I pictured myself walking down the aisle to my husband. When I reached the bottom step, Kellan was standing by the windows, nodding at my father with a solemn expression on his face. I imagined Kellan in a tux and me in a satin gown. In my mind, he was stunning, as usual, and I, for once, was beautiful. The thought of the room full of people made me a little nauseous, so I instead imagined that Kellan and I were alone. Butterflies started to tickle my stomach as the wedding march played in my head.
Kellan looked over at me and cracked a smile. I was pretty sure he wasn't having the same vision I was having, but the expression on his gorgeous face was filled with just as much love and wonder as mine. Flushing with the anticipation of how wonderful our wedding ceremony could be, I walked over to Kellan and wrapped my arms around his waist. Grinning down at me, he enclosed me in his arms and kissed my head. We were dopily staring at each other when my dad cleared his throat.
I snapped out of my romantic vision as I looked over at him. His brow scrunched in confusion, he asked, "Everything . . . okay?"
I smiled and nodded, and Dad sighed, clearly not understanding how I'd gone from one extreme to another in a span of twenty minutes. I giggled as I let go of Kellan and gave my dad a hug. Mood swings were just a fact of life around Kellan. He could lift me up or crash me to the ground. While I sometimes enjoyed the swings, finding balance with him was something I really wanted. We would need that calm if we were going to maintain a long-term relationship. And marriage was pretty long-term. For me, at least.
When I pulled back to look at Dad, he looked over my shoulder at Kellan. I clearly saw the division in his heart. Dad wanted me to be happy, but he wasn't thrilled about me being with a rock star. A rock star with a sex tape in his pocket. Leaning in, he said, "Kellan told me about your . . . marriage . . . at the bar." He frowned and glanced at Kellan. "Are you sure about this, Kiera?"
Smiling bright, I kissed my dad on the cheek. "Absolutely, Dad."
My response didn't brighten Dad's features any. In fact, he seemed to age right before my eyes. Seeing the sullenness in his frown lines, I clutched his arms. "Did Kellan tell you his father was going to come by for brunch?" Looking back at Kellan, I asked, "Did you get a hold of him?"
Kellan lifted the cell phone in his hand. "Just got off. He'll be here in a half hour." Kellan's deep blue eyes sparkled with joy. Positive feelings for a family member were a new emotion for him, and he'd been reluctant to let himself feel it. I think a part of him was still hesitant, like he was bracing himself for the inevitable emotional implosion that was coming. But, for the moment, he was being optimistic about it.
Still beaming, Kellan pointed at the front door. "My car's fine, too." I laughed at his relieved expression. He probably would have tracked Joey down if she'd damaged his baby.
While we waited for Kellan's family to arrive, Mom asked me about color themes for the wedding; the daggers coming from Dad lengthened with each question she asked. Kellan held my hand with an amused smile on his face as he listened to my mom. I was sure he would agree to whatever outlandish ceremony she proposed. He didn't mind being the focal point of everyone's attention, and he certainly didn't mind watching me be at the center of it either. He was constantly pushing me to be more confident and outgoing. While embarrassing, I loved that Kellan cared enough about me to gently encourage me to grow.
Gavin rang Kellan's doorbell right on time. Exhaling a slow, controlled breath, Kellan stood and wiped his palms on his jeans. I didn't see a bulge in his pocket when his hand brushed over it, and I thought maybe Kellan had thrown his sex tape away. I hoped so. I didn't ever want to see him being with another woman, but I knew, if I came across it, the curiosity would kill me. It was possible that it would drive me crazy enough that I would watch it. And there are some things you can't ever unsee. Kellan making his ex-fling squeal was not something I wanted burned into my brain. Just imagining it was bad enough.
Kellan was visibly edgy as he walked to his front door. It was adorable; he so very rarely got nervous. But seeing his father was a really big deal to him. I wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling, but if it were me, it would be a mixture of excitement, apprehension, and terror. So much can go wrong when you hold your heart out to another person, especially one who is related to you. Kellan was being immensely brave right now, and I couldn't have been more proud of him.
Like he was mentally fortifying himself, Kellan let out another short burst of air as he arrived at the door. Slapping on his effortless grin, he pulled the heavy wood inward. I stood from the couch as Kellan's father came into view. Gavin was so much like Kellan that their lineage was undeniable. Same build, same height, same shade of sandy brown hair, same deep, midnight blue eyes, same strong, right-angle jaw. Looking at the two of them side by side was like being given a glimpse into Kellan's future. And from all I could see . . . Kellan was going to age very, very well. Gavin was hopelessly attractive.