Even though Kellan had stumbled and fallen onto a streetlamp on our walk back to the center, he seemed completely with it as he sang about his imaginary heartbreak. When Sienna stepped to his side to sing her part to him, she was so close I was sure she could smell the fumes wafting from him. Instead of facing the audience, Kellan and Sienna kept the song insular, singing toward each other, virtually ignoring the crowd. It amplified the pain in the song. Flashbulbs went off like crazy, capturing every heated moment. When the song ended, Kellan made like he was going to storm off of the stage, like he was so angry he couldn't stand to be near her anymore; that matched the way the video ended. Sienna changed it up, though. Grabbing his arm as he walked past, she yanked him into her body. Too drunk to resist, Kellan collided with her. Quickly reaching up, she pulled his head down to hers. Their lips collided next, and then the stage faded to black; only the flashes of cell phones lit up their bodies.
The response from the crowd was thunderous. I was so stunned, I couldn't move.
So much for Sienna respecting Kellan's wishes.
Even though I was sure Sienna had mainly kissed him in front of the audience for the photo op, I had the overwhelming sensation that she was also declaring her personal interest in Kellan. Her dramatic affirmation hit me like a wrecking ball in the gut. Well, of course she wanted him. Who wouldn't? But he was my husband, and she couldn't have him.
Knowing I was probably about to get myself kicked off of the tour, I stormed to the rear entrance to the stage where the performers would just now be stepping down. I felt my hands balling into fists and wondered if I was about to clock a superstar. I wanted to. She'd gone too far.
As I worked my way to the back, Kellan was stomping down the stairs and shoving people out of his way. His face matched my fiery mood. Evan was a step behind him, calling his name. Sienna was on the top of the stairs, her hands on her hips. "You're overreacting, love," she called after him.
Lips tight, Kellan closed his eyes. I paused and watched him. That was usually the face he made when he was about to rip someone's head off. Turning back to Sienna, he pointed up at her. "I told you, not on the lips!"
A sweet smile on her face, Sienna breezed down the stairs past Evan; he tensed as he noticed Kellan's expression. Sienna stopped at Kellan's side and put a hand on his rigid arm. "I got carried away by the heat of the moment. Won't happen again." She shrugged, her long, sleek ponytail bouncing around her shoulders.
Seeing right though her, I stepped forward. "Hell right, it won't happen again!" Maybe it was the liquid courage in my belly, but I suddenly wanted to give this woman a smackdown. Yeah, definitely the booze talking. "He doesn't belong to you!"
Someone grabbed my shoulders as I lurched forward. I thought it was Kellan at first, but looking behind me, I saw one of Sienna's ever-present bodyguards holding me back-Thing 2, I think. Face serene, Sienna stepped in front of me. "He's a person, love, so he doesn't belong to anyone."
She gave everyone watching a cool glance, like all of this drama was beneath her. When her eyes returned to mine, there was fire in the dark depths. "And in case you didn't notice, he didn't exactly pull away from me." Her challenging eyes swung to Kellan; his jaw tightened, but he didn't say anything. Satisfied, Sienna stalked off, and Thing 2 let me go.
I huffed as I straightened myself. She had a point. I locked eyes with Kellan. The people around us resumed what they were doing now that the mini-fight was over. Evan patted my shoulder as he walked away with the other D-Bags. Matt tore Griffin away. Thankfully, or maybe unthankfully, no one from the media had witnessed the "lovers'" spat. I didn't know what to think of my husband at the moment. Part of me understood-he was a performer, he was on stage, he wouldn't have made a huge spectacle in front of so many people. The rest of me had Sienna's words wrapped tight around it like a vice. He hadn't pulled away. Had he kissed her back?
Not able to stomach looking at him anymore, I turned on my heel and stumbled away. He was behind me a second later. "I'm drunk, Kiera. It happened so fast, I didn't have time to-"
Spinning around, I lifted my finger to his face. "I know!"
I turned back around, and he continued following me. "Then why are you mad?"
Sighing, I turned around again. It made me a little dizzy. "Because I'm drunk too!"
When I attempted to spin around again, Kellan grabbed my arm. "Would you stop walking away from me, please?" Irritated, I gazed at him as best I could. "Are you mad at me?" he pointedly asked.
My feelings still swirling, I countered with, "I don't know. Did you kiss her back?"
Kellan's mouth dropped open, and I saw the struggle in his eyes. He could lie as seamlessly as he could sing. I'd seen him do it. It was one of the many issues that had held back our relationship for so long. It's hard to trust someone who was so comfortable being duplicitous. But I had absolutely no room to talk on the matter, so I tried really hard to never use that fact against him. We were both capable of horrible things. Which is why honesty was so important to us now.
Mouth in a firm line, he told me, "Just for a micro-second." As my eyes misted, he started rambling. "I'm drunk, she caught me off guard. It was instinct. I moved my lips once, just a tiny fraction of an inch, but I didn't do it again. I pushed her away when I realized what was happening, but the lights had already blacked out by that point." He tossed his hands up. "Griffin's gotten more action out of me, but I have to say yes to be honest with you."
I wanted to be angry at him, I really did, but I understood him too well, and I was actually sort of proud of him for telling me a painful truth when a white lie would have been so much easier. Sniffling, because it did hurt a little bit, I slung my arms around his neck and pulled him tight.
"It's okay," I murmured in his ear, "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at her."
His body relaxed against mine. "So am I."
Chapter 17: Proof
I had no idea how long I'd been on the road at this point, but I was getting used to the constant traveling. Sleeping had been difficult at first; the motion of the bus kept waking me up, especially when it turned or slowed down. But now I barely noticed it. The bus could probably slam to a stop, dumping me to the floor, and I wouldn't wake up. Well, okay, that might wake me up.
As was typical most times I opened my eyes, the bus was moving. It took a while to tear down Sienna's shows-they were much more theatrical than Justin's small tour had been-so the busses usually started their journey to the next venue late at night or early in the morning. Some of the stars and members of the crew utilized the hotel rooms provided to sleep for a few hours, but Kellan and I liked our private room on the bus, so we stayed if we could.
As I looked over at the world rushing past the wide window on the far side of the bus, I noticed that it was early in the morning; a rosy glow was still in the sky. Kellan's toy muscle car that I'd given him last Christmas was perched on the ledge, gently rolling back and forth with the rocking movement of the bus. As was also typical first thing in the morning, I was alone in our bed. Kellan was on the floor of the bus, doing pushups. It was something he routinely did when he first woke up-push-ups and sit-ups. He said it was to keep his body conditioned, but I think it helped clear his mind too; Kellan didn't always sleep well. I was usually asleep while he was exercising, but occasionally I'd hear him, wake up, and secretly watch him while I dozed on and off. I usually had some pretty fantastic dreams in that half-awake state.
Peeking over the edge of the bed, my smile was unstoppable as I mentally traced the lines of his bare back. Kellan's arms were shaking as he fluidly moved up and down. I wondered how long he'd been working out while I slept. He really pushed himself sometimes, almost like he was punishing himself.
I hoped his fervor this morning had nothing to do with Sienna. She hadn't kissed him again on stage, but the fan photos of that moment were everywhere. True love sealed in a kiss, was the tagline often used with it. The gossip magazines were having a field day with Kellan and Sienna now touring together. I'd seen more stories about how they "couldn't stay away from each other" than I cared to count. Headlines like, "Kellan Kyle Ditches Tour with Avoiding Redemption to Rush to His Lover's Side" were all too common. Everyone was enamored with the fact that, regardless of his abject denial of their relationship, Kellan seemingly couldn't stay away from Sienna.
Wondering if Kellan was all right this morning, I whispered, "You okay?"
He paused an inch from the floor and looked up at me. Then his arms gave out and he crashed to the ground. Laughing a little, he mumbled, "Yeah, I'm good." Standing up, he swung out his arms; his muscles flexed and released as he stretched them out. "I just missed feeling sore, so I was doing a few extra today. I didn't mean to wake you up."
My eyes drifted down to his signature black boxers. "You didn't. I was ready to get up."
Lifting up the covers, Kellan crawled back into bed with me. His skin was warm from working out; slightly moist, but not yet tacky. I cringed back from him anyway. "You're sweaty."
Laughing, he clamped his legs around mine. "Well, we'll just have to make you sweaty too, so it doesn't bother you."
I laced my arms around his neck and pulled him into me; it suddenly didn't bother me anymore. As his lips lowered to my neck, I looked out the closest window. We were speeding down an urban freeway in an early morning commute. A car was right beside us, and the driver was singing along to something like he was the lead singer of a rock band. I froze as I wondered again about the glass. It had a dark tint to it, but could that guy see me?
Kellan didn't notice I was distracted and started moving his lips down my neck. His fingers started bunching up my shirt in preparation to remove it. I groaned and half-closed my eyes, but somehow managed to stop Kellan's fingers. Intense bedroom eyes peeked up at me, and I swallowed as I nodded toward the glass. "Kellan, can they see us?"
Kellan glanced over at the car, not looking like he cared if the guy could or not. "No," he quickly answered, bringing his lips back to mine.
Believing him, I let myself relax into his arms. There was something incredibly erotic about making love in a place that had the illusion of being very public. As cars buzzed around three sides of us-each one of them with a stunning view, if only they knew-my body heated to a boiling point.
Breath intense, I helped Kellan strip off all of my clothes. When I was bare beneath him, his warm palm molded to my breast, gently squeezing. Wanting to return the favor, I slipped my hand down the front of his shorts. He was fully ready for me. As I moved my hand along him, Kellan stopped kissing me. His breath started speeding up as he closed his eyes. He was gorgeous to watch, and I ramped up my efforts. He dropped his head to my shoulder, slumping his chest against mine. "God, I love it when you touch me," he groaned in my ear.
His words sent an ache straight to my core, and I suddenly wanted to do a lot more than touch him. I wanted to reduce him to a pile of incoherent rubble again. I wanted to make him cry out so loud, that surely someone in a car zipping past us would hear him. Knowing that I could do all of those things made me feel both beautiful and seductive, and made me love being with him even more.
Kellan didn't give me a chance, though. Before I could make my move on him, he pulled his body out of my reach and started working his way down my skin. His fingers slid between my legs right as his mouth closed over my breast. Clutching my pillow, I cried out like I'd wanted him to. As his fingers stoked the fire raging within me, I arched my back and glanced at the car behind us; the driver following the bus looked so bored. I moaned and closed my eyes. If they only knew.
Kellan's lips quickly trailed over my stomach, leaving tingling goose bumps in their wake. When he neared my waist, I started mumbling his name. I was gripping the pillow in my hands so hard, I was sure it would tear any minute. Kellan reached where I needed him, but he didn't do anything. I felt like I was going to die while I waited. He stilled my squirming hips, then he lightly blew on me. I gasped, and commanded myself to not cli**x. It took a lot of willpower.