With some shuffling, cursing, and light banging on the sides of the cubby, we resituated so that Kellan was on his back and I was on top of him. There was not a lot of room, and my back almost touched the top of the cubby. It gave me a weird feeling to know that Evan was sleeping just a few feet above me. Kellan's knees were raised as I straddled him, and he pressed against the back of the cubby to lift his hips. I shoved aside the thought that Matt's head was essentially right next to Kellan's feet.
Now that our sensitive parts were crushing together unimpeded, the rush of desire blossoming in my core spread throughout every nerve in my body like a wildfire. Not wanting to cry out, I clamped my teeth around Kellan's shoulder. He sucked in a breath and started pulling down my lounge pants. Damn clothes. They were difficult to get off in such a tight space, especially with covers wrapped around us, and both of us were panting with exertion and excitement as we tried to shove them down my hips. God, why didn't I sleep nak*d? With more curse words and scuffling, we finally managed to get them around my legs. Kellan reached down and looped them off of my foot. I kicked with my other foot, not caring where my clothes ended up at this point. I thought I saw them disappear out the cubby curtain.
I attacked Kellan's mouth while ripping at his boxers. I wanted him so badly, I might just tear the damn things off. Stilling my needy hips, Kellan lifted his and shoved his clothes down, but not off. That was fine with me; I just needed them out of the way. Positive I would explode any second, I pushed myself onto him once he was free. Kellan groaned and I clamped my hand over his mouth. It was still quiet in here, and as long as it was still quiet, I could pretend that we were completely alone.
We moved together with forceful determination. I didn't need foreplay, I didn't need teasing. I just needed him. I was all too aware of the creaking sound we were making, the unnatural rapidness of our breath, the seductive sound of skin on skin. There would be no way to deny what we were doing, if someone did happen to wake up. I didn't care anymore though-the look on Kellan's face, the fire raging at our point of connection-that was all I let fill my mind.
As the coiling in my body started to reach an apex, I moved my fingers away from Kellan's mouth and clamped my lips over his. Kellan's hand came up to the back of my neck, securely holding me in place. We whimpered between our fierce kisses. Just as I was sure I couldn't take anymore, I felt the glory of my release as I crashed over the edge. Kellan stiffened below me, and I knew he was feeling his own cli**x. I loved that we were experiencing it together. My body shook as I quietly contained the explosion shivering through me in waves. Kellan squirmed underneath me, his eyes squeezing closed as he contained his. Somehow, the self-imposed silence made the moment even more intense.
When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing heavily. I slumped in his arms as he let out a long, steady exhale. I listened for the telltale sound of movement as our breaths evened, but I didn't hear anything, thank God.
I cuddled with Kellan for as long as I could, but my body was fully awake now and I needed to use the facilities. I looked around for my pants before remembering that they had fallen into the aisle. Awesome. Carefully scooting over Kellan, who took the opportunity to tickle my sides-not helping my bladder at all-I peeked my head out of our curtain. Since we were on the bottom of the stack, my pants hadn't fallen too far. As I reached out for them, I noticed that the curtain was pulled back on the cubby directly across from me. Deacon was partially sitting up, reading a book with a soft night-light.
All of the blood drained from my face as he glanced over at me retrieving the bottom half of my pajamas. Thankfully, I was still wearing the top half. Now I remembered exactly why I didn't go to bed nak*d. As I stared in horror, Deacon lifted his hand in a small wave. It was too dark for me to know for sure if he was embarrassed or not, but his smile was appropriately sheepish.
I opened and shut my mouth like a guppy that had been yanked out of its fishbowl. What do I say? Should I apologize? Should he? What was the proper etiquette in this situation? What would Miss Manners do? As I was floundering for something to ease the awkwardness, Deacon reached up and removed a small speaker from his ear; his long, dark hair had been hiding them from my sight. The tinny sound of loud rock music drifted over to me as he whispered, "Did you say something?"
I instantly relaxed. He hadn't heard anything. But Deacon wasn't an idiot. He'd seen my pants falling to the floor, and he was staring at me picking them back up. He knew. And I really didn't know how long he'd been awake, reading and listening to music. We may have stirred him from sleep, and he may have turned on his music to tune us out once he realized what we were engaged in right next to him. At least he was polite. If Griffin were across the aisle from us, he probably would have grabbed his cell phone and started recording.
Clutching my pants, I quickly shook my head and darted back into the solace of my Kellan-filled cubby. When I buried my head in his chest, Kellan asked, "Problem?"
I peeked up at him. "I really miss our room."
Kellan gave me a lopsided grin. "We'll start getting our own room at the hotel when we can."
I took what comfort from that as I could; brief moments of privacy were better than none at all. Dressing hastily, I accidently kneed my love in the privates, making him scrunch in pain. He glared at me as he clutched himself. "Sorry," I whispered, kissing his cheek.
"Definitely getting our own room," he muttered, closing his eyes.
Feeling bad and amused, I quickly left Kellan and made my way to the back of the bus to use the bathroom. I purposely kept my eyes on the tiny LED lights in the floor. I didn't want to see any other open cubbies. Ignorance was bliss.
By early afternoon, we were pulling into Charlotte, North Carolina; the concert tonight was at Time Warner Cable Arena. Anna was using my laptop to surf the Internet as everyone on the bus relaxed in the lounge section. Kellan and Evan were playing poker on one side of the room with Deacon and the bassist from Holeshot, David. Thankfully, Deacon hadn't said a word to me about our awkward exchange this morning. Matt was having a quiet conversation on his cell phone, most likely with Rachel. The other Holeshot band member, the drummer, Ray, was playing Guitar Hero with Griffin. Griffin was winning hands down. Like I had been for the past hour, I was impatiently waiting for Anna to finish with my computer so I could write a paragraph or two before the show. Every time I'd asked for it back, she'd given me the "just a minute" finger. She was visiting a parenting website, though, so I didn't push her too hard. I could go back to my old-fashioned notebook for a little while longer.
Looking up at the thick, dreary clouds hanging low in the North Carolina sky, Anna pouted and murmured, "I miss Florida."
After Atlanta, we'd spent some time in the Sunshine State. Miami was a big hit with my sister; even bursting at the seams pregnant, she'd had a good time. She'd been delighted that she could sunbathe in the middle of autumn, and was even up for some club-hopping after the boys' show. I reminded her that she was due in a couple of weeks, so maybe bumping and grinding at a night club wasn't the best idea. The band's concerts were loud enough, no need for baby Maximus to be born deaf by dancing the night away in bass-thumping nightclubs. Anna had scoffed at me, but with a big yawn had finally conceded. She'd gone on to bump and grind the night away privately with Griffin.
Giving my sister a humoring smile, I tapped my pen against my pad of paper while I thought about the way Kellan and I had reunited. I was approaching the tail end of our story, my favorite part of it, truly, when I'd stopped living in fear and had finally accepted the fact that we were meant to be together. The moment flooded back to me, absorbing me, and my mind began to spin faster than my pen could keep up.
Anna's attention refocused on the computer in front of her while I whipped through an especially emotional segment of my life. After a brief moment of peace, Anna loudly snorted, completely breaking my concentration. "What?" I asked, a little perturbed. Between her talking to me every five seconds, the loud twang of poorly played rock songs, and the good-natured ribbing going on at the poker table-usually at Kellan's expense-I probably would have had better luck concentrating in the comparatively quiet, but cramped, cubby.
"Did you know there are websites solely dedicated to proving Kellan's sex tape is with Sienna?"
That question got my complete and total attention, and I set down my pad of paper with a long sigh. Well, of course there were. Seeing that she'd sucked me in, Anna twirled the laptop around on the table so I could see the screen. Sure enough, someone had created a blog that centered around proving-without a doubt-that Kellan and Sienna had filmed themselves hav**g s*x. What the hell?
The page was plastered with still shots of Joey's movie. The dark, grainy images were enlarged and out of focus, but objects in the photographs were circled, and fantastical theories of the objects' significance were explained in detail beneath them. Seeing Kellan's bare back while he was plunging into another woman was way more than I'd ever wanted to see. It brought the horror of watching him film that music video fresh to my mind. Only this was worse. This was real. And I didn't want to see anymore.
Grimacing, I swung the screen back around toward my sister. Her jade eyes glanced Kellan's way and then she leaned forward, like she was spilling top secret information. "They're comparing still shots of Sienna's original tape, looking for similarities. They're pointing out a mark on Joey's inner thigh that sort of matches a birthmark on Sienna." She rolled her eyes while I tried not to think about the angle needed to get a still shot of Joey's thigh. "And even more absurd, they're claiming that an alarm clock in the room exactly matches one in a hotel nearby where the video for 'Regretfully' was filmed. They're saying they 'rehearsed' for the music video." She lifted her eyebrow at me, amused. "What a stretch, huh?" She pointed at the screen I refused to look at again. "It's so obvious that it's Joey's room they're in."
My veins suddenly felt like I'd injected ice water into them. Oh. My. God. Kellan and Joey filmed this in her old bedroom at his house. My old bedroom. The bedroom I had shared with Denny. The furniture I had shared with Denny. Kellan and Joey had sex on the same mattress Denny and I had sex on. The thought made my stomach roil.
I looked over at Kellan shaking his head at Evan as he tossed down his cards in defeat. Did he realize the six degrees of separation that had occurred on Joey's mattress? Well, he knew that we'd all had sex on that bed, sure, but I doubt he'd thought too much about it. I mean, he'd taken plenty of girls on his own bed, and being with him there didn't bother me, so why would him being on my old bed matter? It didn't, not really. I guess it was just the knowledge of Kellan and Denny both using the same mattress that disturbed me some. Regardless of the horrible things I'd done, I'd never crossed the line and invited Kellan into the bed I'd shared with Denny. It was an arbitrary line, I know, but at least I'd had one.
Blocking out the mental image of Kellan screwing someone on Denny's and my bed, I shifted my attention back to my sister. "How can you tell it's my old room from these blurry photos?" Narrowing my eyes, I instantly came up with the obvious answer. "You watched Kellan's sex tape?"
Anna waved her hand at me dismissively. "You told me to, remember?" Her manicured nail tapped the spot just above her heart. "And you were right, no tattoo."
I wanted to be irritated at that, but I had told all of my friends to watch the tape so they would know without a doubt that it wasn't Kellan. I guess I couldn't really complain. I'd just never really thought my friends would watch it. I thought they'd be swayed by my unwavering declaration of Kellan's fidelity and take my word for it without actually viewing the triple-X footage. I should have known better. At least when it came to Anna. She'd probably hunkered down with a huge bowl of popcorn and eagerly watched Kellan in action. The frown on my face was irremovable.
Anna pursed her lips. "Oh, come on. If you weren't dating Sex on a Stick, you would want to watch the tape too. It's freaking hot."
"Anna!" I reached over and smacked her arm. "I don't want to hear stuff like that!"