“Because if you make it so I can’t control myself, I’ll sure as hell make sure you’re a molten lusty mess, too.” I laugh and lean toward him. I pull his shirt front and lift off the seat enough to kiss him.
He grins at me and sits back down. “I’m not sure you could make me want you more than I do right now.” His blue eyes glitter as he says it.
I lean closer to him and whisper, “I’m wearing a red lacy bra and garters—“ my eyes flick up to his and then drift back to that delicious mouth, “and that’s it.” I smile slowly, letting it sink in.
Ryan’s eyes widen as he catches my meaning. “You’re evil.” He takes my hand and rubs circles on the back of my palm. His eyes lock with mine. It makes my stomach flip and I can’t look away. My heart pounds harder and I wish we weren’t in the mall.
“Well, look where the road led you. I’ll be damned.” Mandy is grinning like an idiot, standing with her hands on her hips, looking down at us. “And you wanted me to keep him away from you.”
I smirk at her. For a second I want to beat her over the head. What she did last night made me so mad, but Ryan’s here now. Things got past that horrible spot where we were stuck, and I have her to thank for it. Ryan watches me and I feel self-conscious. “Maybe it was a stupid plan.”
“Maybe?” She lifts a brow and folds her arms.
“What happened with you and Matt?” I ask, looking around to see who she’s here with.
She smiles at me, “Enough. I’m following my path, Holly. I’m glad you finally get to do the same. You two look great together.” She smiles at us and shakes her head. She turns to walk away, saying over her shoulder, “I’ll call you later. I want every detail.”
Ryan’s face flushes as he looks at me. “You guys don’t really do that, do you?”
“Do what?”
“Tell each other everything. I mean, not everything, right?” Ryan squirms in his seat for a moment.
I lean forward on my elbows. “Why would it matter? I only have good things to say about you. Good, big things. Huge things.” I start laughing.
The rest of the day passes and it’s perfect. At night when Ryan has to leave, I don’t want him to. We sit at my parent’s house watching TV. The Christmas tree is the only light in the room. It’s soft lights twinkle like little stars.
I snuggle into Ryan’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. His arms are warm as they wrap around me. I lift my chin slightly and press a kiss to his neck. I feel his smooth skin slide beneath my mouth and we kiss again. Ryan stills and then his arms wrap around me tighter. I trail hot kisses across his neck and down to his collarbone. I want to do the other side, so I shift and swing my leg over his lap. His hands fall to my waist as I press my mouth to his neck again and again. He melts back into the couch and I melt with him. My parents are asleep, but I don’t want to get caught.
I continue to kiss his neck and then his face, teasing his jaw with my lips, nipping him as I kiss my way across his face. My body responds to straddling him and all the hot kisses. I feel Ryan become hard beneath me. My bare skin is on top of his jeans. I’m not wearing panties. I tilt my h*ps and rub against him, driving us both crazy. I lean in and kiss his lips and his arms close around me. His hand moves under my sweater and palms my breast. They ache for his touch, straining against the satin. His thumb strokes my nipple and it’s all I can do to stay quiet. We kiss like that, his hand on my soft flesh and me moving my h*ps against his lap, until his other hand slips beneath my skirt. I want him so much. I let him do what he wants. His fingers pet me gently and then harder. I bite my lip to keep from calling his name, even though I want to scream and pound into him until I’m seeing spots.
I reach down between us and unzip his pants, freeing his erection from his jeans. Ryan shakes his head, but I say yes. He barely manages to say, “Get the condom from my pocket.” I pull it out and tear the wrapper open, putting it on him. I move quickly. The more I touch him, the more I want him.
I lift my bottom above his hard length and rock slowly, moving in small circles until he pushes into me. His hands go back to my br**sts, his fingers teasing me as I ride him. We tease and kiss and touch, until I can’t stand it anymore. I buck my h*ps faster and faster, as he pulls me down, holding me in place as I ride him. I arch my back wanting to scream as I shatter, but I hold it back.
Exhausted, I lean into his chest. Ryan kisses my head and I feel his arms wrap around me. Although we were quiet, I hear his heart pounding in his chest and his ragged breath. Reluctantly, I slip off his lap. I mean to stop, to go back to watching the movie, but we can’t. Soon his hands are on me and it happens again, but this time Ryan is on top of me. He wears his jeans as he lays on top of me on the couch, pushing into me over and over again. He breathes my name as he comes and my body reacts, cli**xing with him.
Ryan leaves a few hours later. I’m sore, but I can’t stop smiling. I’ve never been so happy in my life.
Day and night, Ryan’s with me, inside of me, pleasuring me in every way possible. I feel like a slut, constantly wanting him, but I leave so soon that it seems right. Wearing skirts and garters becomes a habit. I can have him whenever we can steal a second, and we steal several. On my birthday, he takes me out to eat and treats me to gifts, candies, and sex all day long. Christmas Day arrives and I want him again. I lay in his arms, in his dorm room that night. I sleep in his bed, inhaling his scent, wishing this didn’t have to end.
A week passes like this, and with each passing day I grow more frantic. I feel more for him than I thought I did. When it comes time to get on the plane, I don’t want to leave, but I have to. No one changes their college plans for a guy. Like it or not, Ryan is temporary. Our relationship isn’t meant it last, it’s like a falling star streaking across the sky. It flames bright because it’s burning out. But I don’t feel that way when I’m at the airport. I throw my arms around my parents and take my bags. Daddy helps me inside, where Ryan stands with me on line until I board. My parents leave us and it’s just me and Ryan. There’s a lump in my throat that won’t go away. We talk about nothing, both of us dreading each step I take closer to the check-in counter.
After they take my new bags, I head toward security, where Ryan can’t follow. Before I get in line he says, “I never dreamed that this would happen, and I can’t tell you how happy I am that it did.” He throws his arms around me and holds on tight.
I feel myself falling apart. I nod. “Things felt right with you. I’m glad it happened to. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present. I’m just,” my voice cracks. I swallow and pull away, wiping the corner of my eye so the tear won’t fall. “I’ll miss you.”
He nods. “Same here.”
I stare at him. I feel the words in my mouth, but I’m not brave enough to say them. I love you. I know I do, but I’m silent. Ryan kisses me again and I turn to walk through security alone.
I manage to hold myself together until we board the plane. After that, I’m a mess of snot and tears. The person next to me asks if I’m all right. I say yes. That I just miss someone. She talks about long distance relationships and says it’ll work out, but I feel like something inside of me died. I can’t breathe. I lean my face against the Plexiglas window and stare, letting the tears fall as they wish. Eventually, they stop and the plane lands in Dallas/ Ft. Worth. I gather my things and rub my eyes with the back of my hand, thankful that no one is picking me up. I’m sure my eyes are bright red and whatever makeup I was wearing this morning is now glued to the window.
Looking down, I exit the plane and walk into the concourse. I throw my backpack over my shoulders and walk toward the baggage claim. I sit down on a chair in front of the silver carousel and breathe.
I should have told him that I love him. I should have said it and now I can’t. Part of me thinks that it makes no difference, I still would have left. It still would have sucked. My heart feels like it’s been impaled on the jet wing. I can’t speak. I stare blankly, ignoring the bustling of people around me.
The carousel buzzes and the orange light starts to flash. I look up and a pair of blue eyes meets mine. I stare, thinking that I’m hallucinating when I see him. Ryan is sitting across from me, his eyes locked on my face. He stands and walks to me.
He doesn’t smile. There’s a backpack over his shoulder. “Hey, Connelly.”
“Hey,” I say, standing because he is. “What are you doing here?” I can’t piece it together. I still can’t believe he’s real. I reach out and pinch his wrist.
“Ouch,” he says and grins at me, shaking his head. “Why do you always think you’re dreaming? This is real. I’m really here. I followed you. I grabbed another flight and hoped to God that we’d land before you did. I forgot to tell you something. It was kind of important.” He looks up at me from under his lashes.
My stomach falls into my shoes as I stare at him. “What’d you forget?” I whisper, still shocked to see him.
Ryan takes my face in his hands and says, “I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you Holly Connelly. I love everything about you and I’m not ready to let you go.” His eyes are liquid blue. They search mine for a moment.
I find my voice, “I love you, too.” A smile slowly breaks across my face and tears stream from my eyes. “You followed me to Texas?” He nods. “You’re really staying?”
“As long as you’ll have me. I transferred. It was the fastest transfer they ever did. The admissions guy, well, I owe him a fruit basket or something because I totally messed up his holiday. After we were together, and then your birthday, and Christmas, I just knew—I couldn’t leave you. He got me transferred in a few days. I have to sign some papers when I arrive, other than that, it’s a done deal. I wanted to follow the path and see where it leads. So far it leads to Texas.”
“You transferred?” He nods, I think. I can’t see a damn thing. My eyes are a shower tears. They stream down my cheeks. It’s like a little river. I laugh-sob and pull him into my arms. He hugs me back and spins me around the way he did that day in the snow. I find his lips and pour my heart and soul into that kiss.
When Ryan pulls away, he breathes, “You really love me.”
“I love you. Now and always.”