“You know it.”
Things are getting awkward again. Why does that happen? We can sit together for hours, and then he does this. I don’t know what happens, but it’s like he disconnects and wants to run. But he doesn’t. He stays with me, even though he’d clearly rather be somewhere else. I take this as our cue to leave. I wave for the check. “Come on, let’s get out of here before it’s midnight. Although I have my own life 2,000 miles away, my parents still think I need a curfew when I’m home.”
“Curfew?” he asks, wrinkling his nose and laughing. “What are you, sixteen?”
“Apparently.” I throw my part of the bill down on the table and start to walk out.
Ryan grabs my arm. “Hey cowgirl, slow down. ‘Round these parts people pay at the cash register.” I forgot. People throw money on the table and leave in Texas. My face reddens and I curse myself for looking so stupid, but Ryan just smiles. His gaze flicks between my face and the cashier. “Come on, little lady.”
“Oh, my God. Stop with the John Wayne voice. You sound like Homer Simpson doing a cowboy impression.” I cut my gaze to his.
Ryan reaches for my hand and knits our fingers together, and then twists me toward him. “Which accent do you prefer? Tell me truly. New York or that Texas twang?” He’s standing above me, despite my heels.
My heart thumps against my ribs. That look could make me—well, never mind what it could do—the point is that this wasn’t the best place to be for that kind of thing. I answer quickly, pulling my hands away as I do so, “New York. There’s something more possessive about it.”
We pay the cashier. Actually, Ryan pays the cashier and shoves my money back toward me. “I’ll pay. You’re giving me a ride in that tank. God knows, I’ll owe you $120 bucks in gas by the time we get home.”
“Fine,” I huff, but I don’t like it.
The cashier is a middle-aged woman. She grins at me, but averts her eyes quickly, like she knows something I don’t. I march outside with my bare arms and tiny dress. Ryan comes up behind me and puts his jacket over my shoulders. “Ry, it’s too cold. Really, I’m fine. Keep it.” I turn to give it to him, but he walks past me, ignoring my outstretched arm. “Don’t make me drop it,” I warn.
He looks back over his shoulder at me holding his leather jacket over a puddle of icy goop. Black stuff bubbles at the surface like it’s a witch’s brew. “You will sorely regret that. I wouldn’t do it if I were you.”
I laugh, “Or you’ll what?” What could he possibly do? I shouldn’t have asked.
Without warning, Ryan turns and snatches my wrist. He pulls and I’m about to slam into him, but he bends at the knee, and grabs my waist with his other hand. Within seconds, I’m hoisted over his shoulder kicking and screaming.
Ryan laughs, and walks us to the car. My hands tangle in his hair, half clinging to him, half trying to climb down. The frigid air is blowing my skirt over my head and the people in the diner are getting a really good show. “Here we are,” he says and slides me down between him and the car.
I shove the jacket at him, and pound my fists into his chest. “Never do that to me again!” I continue to pound his chest and scold him, but when his fingers wrapped around my wrists, all the venom drains out of me.
I like his touch too much. I like it when he acts like I’m his to do with as he pleases. It makes my skin grow hot and the pit of my stomach twist. The proximity of his body is too close. I can feel the heat coming off of him. His scent fills my head.
I calm down and Ryan still holds my wrists. He tightens his grip slightly, and leans closer, crushing his jacket between us. His dark lashes lower as he studies my lips, drinking them in like they’re hypnotic. Parting his lips, he breathes through his mouth. My heart feels like it’s going to burst. I can’t stand how he lingers so close, like he could kiss me, but he chooses not to. I shiver and he presses his body against mine, pinning me.
He finally moves toward my lips and dodges sideways at the last second and whispers in my ear, “Better get going.” Then his hands are gone. His coat is gone. Ryan is gone. He walks to the other side of the car and gets in.
I stand there with my heart pounding like I’ve been attacked by a bear. I try to shake it off, but he’s gotten to me much worse than before. If I get home without hav**g s*x with him, someone needs to give me a frickin’ medal. I suck in the icy air and held it in my lungs. Exhaling loudly, I sit down in my car and turn the engine over.
______
The heater starts slowly and eventually I stop shivering. Ryan doesn’t offer his jacket again. As I head toward the parkway, I notice flashing yellow signs. They illuminate the night, flashing, PKWY CLOSED. It takes me a second to realize we have a problem. While we were in the diner, the storm worsened. It laid down a sheet of ice, followed by more snow. The streets are slick, but as long as a plow gets through them, so can we. The problem seems to be a general lack of plows.
I say as much to Ryan, “Where are the plows? And why is the parkway closed?” I glance over my shoulder and slowly move my boat of a car into a parking lot. I’m trying to remember, but I can’t. My maps of Long Island and Texas merged. I can’t remember if 231 merges with Southern State or if that’s Loop 820 that merges with 30. “I can’t remember how to get out of here. We can get home on the L.I.E. or try to cut across to Sunrise, but the roads suck.”
“You can’t get to Sunrise from here, and the roads that you’d need to connect to are going to be closed too. It’s the ice. The plows aren’t out yet, because they’re expecting more ice.”
“Don’t they salt and sand?”
“Yeah, but not now. It’s late and the storm just started. They’ll do it in the morning before commuters take off for work.” Ryan turns in his seat. “If we go back the way we came, I bet we could get back to the dorms.”
I arch a brow at him. “Dorms?”
“Yeah. You have a better idea?” Ryan attends college here. His dorm is right around the block.
I glance around, wondering if we can sleep in the car and rule it out. It’s too cold and I’ll run out of gas. I shake my head, “No.” My stomach climbs up my throat as I look at him. He’s inviting me to stay with him. I want to say no. I feel my emotions shattering like cheap glass. Shards go flying as I stare blankly, wondering how the hell I’m supposed to handle this.
He sighs loudly, obviously annoyed with me. “Listen, it’s not ideal, but it’s better than sleeping in the car. If you have somewhere else we can go, somewhere closer…?”
I shake my head. “The dorms are the closest. Is there anyone else there?”
He grins, “Why, you don’t want to sleep with me?”
My back straightens and I visibly flinch. It’s mortifying. “No, I just…”
“You just, what?” He looks at me for a moment and then turns off the charm, but I’m still drawn to him. Damn him. Why does he have to be so droolworthy?
“I just don’t want to have to explain to people why I’m at your place in the morning.”
He looks at me like I’ve hit my head one too many times. “It snowed, Holly. They aren’t stupid. Everyone knows you don’t want me like that.”
My lips part. I start to correct him, to ask who thinks that, but I snap my jaw shut. Maybe he doesn’t know how I feel about him? Is it possible?
CHAPTER 5
RYAN
I glance at Holly’s face and can see something there, but I can’t tell what. The idea of going back to the dorm wasn’t a bad one. It’ll be warm, and we can crash there for the night. I just have to keep my hands off of her. I nearly lost it at the diner. When her skin brushes against mine, every part of me flares to life. I can’t not react to her caress. My body responds whether I want it to or not.
She follows me across the parking lot and we stand in front of the dorm. It’s quiet. The snow falls faster now, sticking to everything it touches. Holly’s dark hair glitters with touches of snow and ice. She looks so beautiful that I want to reach out and touch her face, and feel her silky hair between my fingers. I glance at Holly and she has that unreadable expression in her eyes. I walk a little bit in front of her, because I’ll take her hand if I walk next to her, and reach for my card. We stop before the door. No one is here. Everyone went home for the holidays. Technically, I’d signed out along with everyone else. I swipe the card and the black case flashes a green light at me. I pull the door open and let Holly pass through. Her perfume fills my head, making me breath in another gulp before she passes. It’s intoxicating—she’s intoxicating.
I close the door and walk down the hall. Usually the dorm is bustling with people, but not today. We walk to the elevators and I push the up button. Holly is quiet, like she’s considering sleeping in the snow just so she doesn’t have to do this. I don’t understand her. She runs hot and cold. One second she’s gazing at my lips, and the next she’s shut down and won’t even look at me.
I talk to her over my shoulder as I head toward my room. “Have you been up here before?” She shakes her head. “I thought you might. Nicole lives in the other tower. Basically each unit is a bedroom, with two beds and a sink. The showers are down the hall.”
She looks around as we pass by doors that all look identical. “You like it here?”
Her question surprises me. “Yeah, I suppose so. I wasn’t sure if I would, I mean, it’s like picking up the high school version of me and moving him 20 miles west. Having so many classmates around makes it feel the same, but there are lots of differences too.”
I stop in front of my door and slide my huge key into the lock. While the rest of the school is bursting with modern technology, they still use brass keys for the dorm doors. I guess it was more secure and less of a headache for the staff. No one has to reset a brass key when it’s left next to a cell phone too long. I push open the door, knowing my room was clean before I left. I didn’t intend on coming back until after New Year’s.
I hold the door open and Holly glances at me. The way those brown eyes slip across my face and then my chest, makes my heart beat harder. She passes in front of me and I manage not to sweep her into my arms and shower her with kisses. I smile, thinking about. Of course, she picks that second to turn and look at me.
Her head tilts to the side, making her long hair fall over her shoulder. “What’s that smile for?”
I shrug. Hiding things from her is impossible. She seems to have been made with a direct link to my thoughts, and uses it frequently. I answer honestly, “You.”
“Oh,” she says and turns around, looking at the room. She steps between the two beds and her eyes swiftly pass over the things on each side of the room. She points to the left and says, “That’s your side, isn’t it?” I nod. She smiles and tucks a curl behind her ear. Her eyes flick up and meet mine for half a beat before returning to the bed. There’s nowhere else to sit and the room is insanely small.