“How did you get into this whole thing?” I asked casually, but I was dying to know. Did he come to college with aspirations to put this together? Or did he inherit this from a graduating senior when he was but a young freshman?
He hesitated for a few moments and then heaved a short sigh. “Ty.”
“Ty?” I asked in complete disbelief. Ty was so rigid and strict and…. anal about the rules! I could not believe Ty would actually put together something like this and then pass it on to the next generation.
“He’s kind of a computer genius. He helped me set this up freshman year,” he admitted in a low voice.
“I don’t believe you,” I said mulishly.
He shot another look over his shoulder, this time a mischievous grin that told me I didn’t know Ty at all. I shook out my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders in a defiant gesture that I was right and he was wrong. “Besides he told me he thinks of you like a son.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, that’s kind of messed up, don’t you think?”
“Nope. I needed the money, and he found me a way for me to make it without killing myself.”
“Why? Why do you need the money? Aren’t you on full-ride for track?” I asked, a bit desperate to get to the bottom of him, to figure out exactly what made him tick, even though I knew I was being rude.
“Yes, I’m on full-ride, but school doesn’t pay for everything. I still have to live. And I still have to provide…. for myself.” He sounded cocky despite his awkward hesitation as he explained that, like it was his right as a man to make money and he was just fulfilling his destiny.
“You seem to do pretty good though,” I gestured to his trendy apartment with expensive furniture, exposed brick walls and real wood flooring.
“As long as I get paid, I do alright,” he admitted.
I hmphed at that which earned me another killer smile. “So why do you need the money you think I owe then? In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal if a measly seven thousand goes missing.” I kept my tone and words casual, trying to use my powers of persuasion. If I believed seven thousand dollars was an insignificant amount so would Fin.
He fell silent instead of answering my question and I got the impression I went too far. Fin seemed to have this elevated opinion of me, despite the fact that I owed him money. If I didn’t know better, it was almost like he was chasing me, pursuing me. Good thing I knew better.
Still, I felt really bad when he went quiet, almost like I disappointed him.
After a while he said, “Why don’t you go order us dinner? There’s a good Thai place in the menu drawer. The dish I like is circled.”
“Um, Ok,” I saved the document I was working on and then started to get up.
Fin reached for my hand yanking me back to face him. He was swiveled around on his desk chair to face me, his hand firmly gripping mine. I stepped off balance and then came to land with my legs awkwardly parted over his bent knee. The rough material of his jean-clad knee brushed against the inside of my right thigh and I froze with anticipation. Fin seemed to be hyper-aware of our closeness too because his throat was doing that thing again where I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he worked to swallow.
With his dark eyes boring into mine he reached into his back pocket and pulled out an ultra-thin wallet. He extended it out to me and I grabbed for it with my free hand but he didn’t immediately let go.
“One day,” he said gruffly, his words harsh and raspy in his throat as if it were painful for him to give up. “I’ll tell you why the money’s important one day.”
His eyes were so vulnerable, so trusting…. so open. Even though I didn’t have any idea what he was trying to tell me, I knew there was something he was saying. So afraid to ruin the moment, I just nodded. I could wait till one day. He could tell me one day.
“Use the green card,” he instructed and then let me go.
It took all of my grace and coordination not to stumble back after he released me from his intensity. I cleared my throat, ignoring the riot of butterflies in my stomach. Fin could do serious damage to my heart if I let him keep this up. And the worst part was he didn’t even know what he was doing.
I ordered the Thai food quickly, just getting two of whatever it was he liked. And I wasn’t even sure if I got that right. My Thai was not the most accurately pronounced.
After I finished the order there was a knock at the door. Without being asked I walked over and put my hand on the knob.
“Wait,” Fin called out, jumping up from his chair. “Let me check who it is first. I’ve been getting these weird-“ He stopped talking suddenly and cleared his throat.
Knowing he was referring to the three girls I sent his way over the last week I leaned up on my tip toes to look through the peephole. I couldn’t suppress my smile and I was seriously hoping it was another girl. I would die to watch Fin interact with one of them.
But alas, it was only Jameson.
“It’s alright, I think it’s for me,” I called over my shoulder.
Fin was halfway across the room and I felt more than heard his confusion at that. I opened the door and let Jameson in.
“Hey,” I said causally.
He smiled down at me, familiar and sweet. “Hey, Els.” We shared the smile and then he reluctantly greeted Fin. “Hey, man.”
Fin could not have sounded more suspicious when he said, “Hey,” back. “What are you doing here James?”
“Just stopped by to see, Ellie.” Jameson shot me a wink over his shoulder so I knew he was teasing Fin. Not that Fin didn’t totally deserve this; although I wasn’t sure why he would care to begin with.
“She’s working right now,” Fin bit out. He made his stance wide, intimidating and crossed his arms. His hair was across his forehead again and his dark eyes were more the color of cold black obsidian than warm chocolate.
“I can see that,” Jameson mumbled smugly.
That muscle started ticking in Fin’s jaw again and I had the strongest urge to smooth my hand over it so he would relax. I shook my head of that kind of thought and instead tugged on the crook of Jameson’s arm. “I just ordered some Thai. Are you going to stick around and eat with us?”
“He can’t, we’re working,” Fin growled, emphasizing his words loudly.
“I can’t anyway, I’ve got three miles left to work in this evening. Did you finish your work out track star?” Jameson asked tauntingly.
Fin didn’t reply, just bore holes with his eyes into Jameson’s head. “What do you need, J?”
Not wanting to cause any problems between Fin and his friend, especially since I was the removable piece here, I hurried over to my backpack lying on the floor. I grabbed the notes I borrowed and quickly shuffled them into a neat pile before handing them over to Jameson.
“Thanks again,” I smiled sweetly. “Those are probably going to save my grade.”
“Of course,” Jameson smiled back. “Anytime, Ellie, really. And if you need help studying for the midterm, just let me know. I’d love to help out.”
“That would be great, thank you!” I gushed. That really would be great; I wasn’t just being polite or nice. My grade was in so much trouble and I could not make sense of anything related to probability or trending inflations.
“Alright, well, I’ll call you later,” Fin interrupted as a way to kick his friend out.
He was being rude, and I was kind of embarrassed, but Jameson only laughed and gave us a wave on his way out the door.
Once the door was closed behind him, Fin locked it and then returned to his desk. “Since when are you and McKay such good friends?”
“Oh, I thought you knew we had Econ together. You know, since you made him spy on me and all,” I retorted with as much snark as I could muster.
But he just grunted.
Not feeling like sitting back down next to him, I wandered over to his huge windows that looked out over the street below and a section of grassy campus. There were three of these long windows that reached from my waist almost all the way to the vaulted ceiling were evenly spaced along his living room wall. The rough, red brick filled in the space between and the dark wood baseboard ran along the length of the floor.
The sun was shining today and the cold winter wind seemed to have receded for good. People were out and about this evening, enjoying the nice weather, taking their dogs for walks and holding hands in the park area. Couples dotted the grassy knoll all over, holding hands under budding trees, speaking closely and in one case making foreplay an outdoor sport.
“Oh my gosh,” I gasped at the publically petting couple. I stifled a laugh, feeling embarrassed for them. It looked like they were trying to eat each other.
“What?” Fin asked from his game surveillance.
I laughed out loud at the guys’ brazenness as his hand traveled up the outside of his girlfriend’s thigh before slipping under her short skirt. “Oh my gosh,” I whispered again.
With some of his earlier impatience gone Fin asked in a gentler tone, “What is it?”
Reluctantly I answered, “There is this couple on the green across the street. They’re…. they’re basically hav**g s*x.” My cheeks heated bright red, but I could not stop watching them. “Ok, maybe not sex but seriously making out.”
“And that bothers you?” Fin asked intuitively.
“No,” I said too quickly. “I mean, it doesn’t bother me. I just, I’ve never been able to do that. Like, make out in public.”
“Never?” Fin asked in disbelief. “You’ve never made out in public?”
I hadn’t really made out in private either, but he didn’t need to know that. “No way! It’s so…. tacky.”
“Yet, you can’t take your eyes off the couple across the street,” Fin murmured huskily.
Sputtering to defend myself I said, “Only because they’re being so crazed about it. He’s trying to swallow her head! And he has his whole arm up her skirt!”
“And that embarrasses you?”
I could feel the intensity of his gaze on my back, his intelligent eyes studying me, but still I couldn’t stop watching the couple below. “No, it doesn’t embarrass me. It’s just…. I’ve never, I don’t know, I’ve never wanted someone so badly that I had to have them, right then, right there.”
Fin stood up and walked to the farthest window away from me so he could see the couple, the man now practically lying on top of the woman, groping her in full view of everyone else. Fin’s smile turned wicked as he took in what I had been watching. “You’ve never been so taken with someone that you couldn’t do anything else until your mouth was on theirs? Until your hands were exploring their body thoroughly? Memorizing every inch of exposed skin? Discovering every single unexposed secret?”
Feeling, very suddenly out of breath I glanced over at Fin only to catch him staring at me and not the couple down below. “No,” I whispered. I shook my head, trying to come back to myself. “But I don’t really like kissing.”