I did eventually escape to the bathroom, where I had a stare down with myself in the bathroom mirror. Like the rest of the apartment, Fin’s bathroom was even cool. It was huge and spacious and by all the amenities in the glassed in tile shower, I guessed he didn’t have an en suite in the master. There was an actual claw foot bathtub completely separate from the shower, though when I looked inside it was kind of dusty so I was guessing Fin wasn’t the type of guy to take relaxing bubble baths. The mix of modern and cozy antique was completed with a detached sink that boasted an open faucet and a burnished gilded mirror. In the long vanity there were so many cabinets to open and snoop through, but I kept my attention firmly on my own reflection.
We needed to have a talk.
Me, myself and I.
Fin was completely off limits. Not only was he probably the farthest thing from interested in me, but my brothers would go ballistic. Seriously, lose their minds over this. It wasn’t just the rumors I heard from other people on campus, it was rumors I heard directly from them.
While they themselves might live debauched, womanizing lives, they would never condone it in another man, especially one their sister was interested in.
And really, is that what I was looking for anyway?
Was I trying to get a membership into the fan clubs I utterly hated?
No, I wasn’t.
I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. This was a debt, a debt that wasn’t even mine. So why on earth was I making things harder for me?
Game plan: pizza, finish “orientation,” get lost.
Easy.
I turned the water on and washed my hands in icy cold water, trying to bring back every last piece of common sense I had lost out in Fin’s office. Eventually, I opened the door and reentered the living room. Fin was busy, standing over the open pizza box, divvying it up on two real plates.
Not even paper.
Even Lennox, in his ultra-sweet bachelor pad still used paper plates. Although he claimed it was because he was too busy to do dishes. Uh-huh.
I wandered over to the counter, trying to ignore the way my cheeks were still heated. Fin looked up at me with a self-conscious smile of his own and I had to assume his embarrassment extended to me. Ugh, why did I have to be like every other girl and drool over him?
“Smells really good,” I broke the silence, determined to put all of this behind us without having an incredibly awkward conversation about it.
“Yep,” he replied simply. Awkwardly.
He lifted a plate to hand me a slice of pizza and I couldn’t stop the eye roll. “Seriously?” I grunted while taking the plate from him. I scooped up two more pieces on my plate and after thinking about it, grabbed one more just to be safe. Four and four, splitting it down the middle seemed fair. And besides, if I didn’t grab all I could now, there probably wouldn’t be any left later. I knew how boys operated.
“So you were being serious about the Ramen Noodle thing, huh?” he asked with wide eyes.
“I told you, my weight has nothing to do with impressing boys. Besides I just got out of a long term relationship. Why would I care about what I ate?” I asked, gladly steering any weirdness between us back to just my disappointing social life.
“Well, I thought maybe because he cheated on you….” he trailed off like I should understand that kind of reasoning. I gave him a blank look. “I wondered if your weight loss was a recent thing. If maybe you blamed yourself for his stupidity?”
I snorted at that, actually snorted. “Colton cheated because he’s a douche bag. And by the way, I never say that word. That’s how strongly I think it. And I’m skinny because, whatever you want to believe about my family, I’m poor and seven thousand dollars in debt apparently and don’t have money to splurge on pizza every night of the week.”
He winced at that. Good, he should feel bad!
“Ellie, if I could give you an extension I would. But I need the money. And also, it’s my money.”
“We don’t have to keep going over this.” I waved him away and then turned around so he wouldn’t be disgusted by the huge bite I just shoveled into my mouth.
Grease dripped from my chin and I reached blindly behind me for a napkin. I might have been a little aggressive with my bite, but what was done was done and mortification swept over me while I patted the counter searching desperately for the pile of napkins I knew were back there.
“Need some help?” Fin asked smugly.
I grunted around the bite still being chewed in my mouth. Deciding I didn’t need to keep letting Fin decide how things happened between us, I turned my palm around so that the back of my hand rested on the counter and tapped my fingers against the slate impatiently.
Fin laughed softly at me, but placed the napkin in my hand. I had tilted my head back at this point to keep the grease from running down my chin and with napkin in hand swiped at it frantically.
“That is maybe the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” Fin intoned dryly.
I waved my middle finger at him and then made my way back to his desk. I sat down in front of the open Facebook account, his open Facebook account, and went back to work.
“You’re not going to get my keyboard all greasy are you?” he asked on a wince, still watching me from the kitchen counter.
“Trust me, if there is any sticky substance on your keyboard, it’s not from my pizza,” I bit out. The truth was, I aspired to be a lady, calm, collected and well-mannered, but I had grown up with three brothers. If Fin was going to push my buttons, he would get results. That was just the nature of the beast.
“What does that mean?” He demanded on a huff.
“Your messages? I’ve heard you were a man-whore, packaged with all kinds of fun diseases but,” I squinted at the screen, “Laney Brennan seems willing to take a chance. Which good for you, I mean as long as you’re safe and all.”
“What?” Fin asked in a panicked kind of way that made me certain he understood.
“Or, um Sophia Kesslar? She is also interested in all those acquired man-whore skills. Careful though, she might come with her own set of diseases based on this picture she just sent you.”
Fin sprinted across the room and dove in front of me. With a couple quick clicks of the mouse he shut off the messenger completely and finally removed his body from lying on top of my lap. He stared down at me, face red with either embarrassment or anger, I couldn’t tell.
“Listen, before you give me the you’re-that-kind-of-guy speech, let’s come to the agreement that I can’t stop them from messaging me. I didn’t ask for either of their…. propositions,” he winced on the word and gave a nervous glance back at the computer. “That was all them.”
“Fin, honestly,” I sighed. “I don’t care whether you propositioned them, or they propositioned you or whatever. It’s none of my business. Plus, I had class last semester with Sophia Kesslar and I knew she wore spanx under everything, I knew it. She should really cut back on the party-girl-lifestyle. That beer gut is not doing anything for her.”
Fin stared down at me, his eyes narrowed, arms crossed. “That doesn’t bother you? Really?” He jutted his chin at his Facebook account and I had to stifle the urge to roll my eyes.
“Like I said, you’re after school activities are your business, not mine. I’m just here to pay off someone else’s debt so you can go back to running your drug cartel.”
“Are you always this feisty?”
“Actually no,” I said around a bite of pizza. “Never.”
“So you didn’t give Colton any attitude?” he walked back over to the counter, retrieved his pizza and then settled in next to me as if we were really about to discuss my ex-boyfriend.
“No,” I grunted. “For Colton, I was the perfect girlfriend. Well, I thought I was the perfect girlfriend, he thought I was the boring girlfriend.”
“What an a**hole,” Fin growled.
“Mmm-hmmm,” I agreed.
“So, I’m assuming you were pretty heartbroken then?” Fin set his plate down and leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. His dark brown eyes were open and gentle. He really wanted to hear this.
Except this was way too reminiscent of how I got myself into the mess with Colton to begin with.
“I guess,” I replied casually. I set my pizza down next to Fin’s but sat up straight. I could feel a wall clicking into place over my heart and careful tension return to my shoulders. I was so not falling for the white knight thing again.
“You were in love with him?” Fin pressed, obviously prying.
I let out an unexpected laugh. “No, oh god, no.” I shook my head, and laughed some more. Fin’s expression had gone from gentle to challenging, and his jaw ticked with tension. Suddenly I felt the need to explain myself completely. Gone was the careful protection of my emotions. If he wanted the truth, I was going to give it to him. “There was an attachment. I cared for Colton. I still do to some degree. But I didn’t love him.”
“Then why did you stay with him for three years?” Fin demanded, leaning closer to me.
“I didn’t say I could never love him, just that I didn’t yet. Maybe you fall in love every night Fin
Hunter, but for me that is a huge deal.”
“So you’ve never been in love?” he asked almost eagerly. I kind of hated that his expression softened with his question, as if he already knew the answer. Shoot, his entire body relaxed.
What was I supposed to do with that? Why did he seem relieved that I had never been in love?
He was so dangerous.
What had I gotten myself into?
“No, I’ve never been in love,” I finally admitted.
“But you thought you could love Colton? Eventually?” he pressed.
“Honestly, no. Probably not. I wanted to, but mainly he was good to me. Or, I guess I thought he was good to me. And he pissed my family off,” I joked quickly just to cover how stupid I was to think he was a decent boyfriend all the while he cheated on me.
“And there it is,” Fin grinned smugly at me.
“There’s what?” I demanded, forgetting all about my pizza, or my work, or even my debt.
“You,” his grin grew, becoming wicked and delicious all at the same time. I glared at him to cover my desperate need to drool instead. Eventually he continued. “You’re rebellious Ellie. And strong and stubborn. You’re not at all the complacent, people-pleasing, rule-follower you have everyone believing you are.”
I gaped at him. What?
“You are so, so…. so wrong,” I stammered weakly.
More of the grinning, twinkling eye thing from him. Damn it, he didn’t need to be so cocky about being wrong!
And I meant dang it.
“Sure, Ellie,” he murmured, turning his attention back to his pizza. With his attention on his computer and his pizza in one hand, he lifted his other arm, letting his hand run over my shoulder to the back of my neck where he cupped my nape in his giant grip. His fingers weaved themselves into my hairline, holding on tight. I stifled a shiver, remaining completely unmoving while the heat of his skin tested every instinct I possessed not to lean into him. “I just can’t wait to uncover what other secrets you’re hiding.”