He laughed at that. "I was easier to manage. You don't like it when you are not firmly in control."
"And you do?"
"We are two of a kind in that regard. I believe we shall suit each other admirably as husband and wife."
She eyed him doubtfully. "Either that or we'll kill each other in the process."
"That's a possibility," he said, giving his chin a thoughtful stroke. "I do hope that we are able to keep the stakes even."
"What the devil are you talking about?"
He smiled slowly. "I'm considered a fair shot. How about you?"
Her mouth fell open. She was so stunned that she couldn't even manage to say, "I beg your pardon."
"That was a joke, Eleanor."
She snapped her mouth back closed. "Of course," she said in a terse voice. "I knew that."
"Of course you did."
Ellie felt a pressure building up within her, a frustration that this man could repeatedly render her speechless. "I am not a terribly good shot myself," she replied, a tight smile decorating her face, "but I am prodigiously talented with knives."
Charles made a choking sound and had to cover his mouth.
"And I am very silent on my feet." She leaned forward, her smile turning mischievous as she regained control of her wit. "You might want to keep your door locked at night."
He leaned forward, his eyes glittering. "But my darling, my aim in life is to make sure your door is unlocked at night. Every night."
Ellie began to feel quite warm. "You promised ..."
"And you promised"—he moved in closer, this time until his nose touched hers—"to let me try to seduce you whenever I wished."
"Oh, for the love of Saint Peter." she said with such disdain that Charles drew back in confusion. "If that isn't the most addlebrained collection of words I have ever heard in a single sentence."
Charles blinked. "Are you insulting me?"
"Well, I certainly wasn't complimenting you," she scoffed. " "Let you try to seduce me.' Oh, please. I promised you could try. I never said I'd 'let' you do anything."
"I have never had this much trouble seducing a woman in my life."
"I believe you."
"Especially one I've agreed to marry."
"I was under the impression I was the only one to hold that dubious honor."
"Now, see here, Eleanor," he said, his voice growing impatient. "You need this marriage just as much as I do. And don't try to tell me you don't. I've met Mrs. Foxglove now. I know what you have waiting for you at home."
Ellie sighed. He knew just how tight a bind she was in. Mrs. Foxglove and her endless carping had seen to that.
"And," he added irritably, "what the hell did you mean 'you believe' that I've never had so much trouble seducing a woman?"
She stared at him as if he were simpleminded. "Exactly that. I believe you. You must know you're a very handsome man."
He appeared not to know how to reply. Ellie was rather pleased to have set him at a loss for words for a change. She continued with, "And you're quite charming."
He brightened. "Do you think so?"
"Too charming," she added, narrowing her eyes, "which makes it difficult to discern the difference between your compliments and your flattery."
"Just assume they're all compliments," he said with a wave of his hand, "and we'll both be happier."
"You will," she retorted.
"You will, too. Trust me."
"Trust you? Ha! That may have worked with your simpleminded London misses who care for naught but the color of their ribbons, but I am made of sterner—and smarter—stuff."
"I know," he replied. "That's why I'm marrying you."
"Are you saying that I have proven my superior intelligence by my ability to withstand your charms?" Ellie began to chuckle. "How marvelous. The only woman smart enough to be your countess is the one who can see through your superficial rakish veneer."
"Something like that," Charles mumbled, not at all liking the way she had twisted his words but unable to figure out how to twist them back to his advantage.
By now Ellie was laughing in earnest, and he was not amused. "Stop that," he commanded. "Stop it right now."
"Oh, I couldn't," she said, gasping for breath. "I couldn't possibly."
"Eleanor, I will tell you one last time ..."
She turned to reply, her eyes passing over the road on the way to his face. "But—Good God! Watch the road!"
"I am watching the—"
Whatever else he'd meant to say was lost as the curricle hit a particularly large rut, bounced to the side, and tossed both its passengers to the ground.
Chapter 5
Charles grunted as he hit the ground, feeling the jolt in every bone, every muscle, every damned hair on his body.
Half a second later Ellie landed on top of him, feeling for all the world like an immense sack of potatoes with very good aim.
Charles closed his eyes, wondering if he would ever be able to sire children, wondering if he'd ever again even want to try.
"Ow!" she let out, rubbing her shoulder.
He would have liked to respond, preferably with something sarcastic, but he couldn't speak. His ribs hurt so much that he was certain every last one of them would shatter if he so much as tried to use his voice. After what seemed like an eternity, she rolled off of him, her pointy little elbow finding the tender spot below his left kidney.