The way my hand shakes a little as I trace the outline of my mouth.
Heidi clears her throat. “And you call me disturbing.” I see her reflection in the mirror, and her head cocks to one side. She shuffles closer to me, stopping just a few feet away from the dresser. “So, about visiting my parents—yay or nay?”
Because she’s studying me so carefully, I respond quickly. “You should probably go see them.” I twist away from the mirror, facing her directly. “They’d be pissed if you came to town and didn’t at least meet them for dinner.”
“Probably,” she agrees, making me wonder why she asked me in the first place. “I haven’t been home since Christmas.”
“Then you should definitely go.”
Of course, advising Heidi that she needs to visit her parents once we reach Phoenix for the last show makes me feel like shit. Over the past two months, my mom’s been good enough not to put pressure on me about coming to Atlanta, but sooner or later her patience will wear out.
“I’m probably going to go home next month. To Atlanta,” I say aloud, and Heidi nods her head, a smile of approval flitting across her glossy lips.
“Good. I would invite myself, but you’re probably afraid I’ll meet some loser who’ll steal your parents’ car or something.”
Rolling my eyes, I shove myself away from the dresser and bend down to zip my own luggage. It doesn’t take me nearly as much effort as it did her, and mine closes on the first try. “Stop giving yourself such a hard time.” I sling the heavy bag over my shoulder, coughing when it knocks the wind out of me. Heidi’s already waiting at the door, and once I catch my breath, I join her.
“You looked thrilled,” she says in a dry voice.
“Is it wrong that I don’t want to do this today? You’d think I’ve never had to sit my ass on a tour bus for days at a time,” I mutter.
“See, told you it was too damn early for this.” But she twists around to give me a sympathetic look, curling her bottom lip. “I’m going to sound like a complete tool, but not too much longer until we’re home.”
I’m right on her heels as she leaves our room, but I take one final peek inside before I let the door close behind us. I’ve left too many personal belongings in hotels across the country not to be cautious.
“And once we’re back I can do this all over again, except, I’ll be taking orders from Lucas.” My voice is sarcastically chipper.
Heidi stops in the middle of the hallway, earning a frustrated glare from the housekeeper who’s trying to maneuver an oversized cart stacked high with cleaning supplies and toilet paper. I grab my friend’s bony elbow and guide her out of the way, but once we get to the staircase that leads down to the parking garage, she confronts me.
“You’re not fed up with your job, are you?”
I jog down the steps, taking them two at a time so that I’m out of breath by the time I reach the bottom. “I love my job.”
Still, for the first time since I started avoiding Wyatt near the end of last year, I’m starting to wonder how my working for Lucas is going to affect me once I’m back in Los Angeles?
Isn’t the proximity and common ground the precise reason why I’ve let Wyatt back into my life time and time again?
If I even go through with cutting him out this time, because every moment we’re together—even the toxic ones—I doubt myself.
Heidi stops me when I open the door to the parking garage, flattening her hand against the metal and slamming it shut. “Ugh, the look on your face right now.”
She shakes her head, pressing her lips together as if what she’s looking at is the most pitiful thing she’s ever seen. Maybe, just maybe, it is.
“Heidi,” I warn. “I’m not doing this with you today.”
She ignores me. “You do realize that I can get a rental car, too. I’m perfectly capable of driving us back to Los Angeles so you can get away from McCrae right here and right now?”
“You don’t have to do that.” Then, I pause. Despite what Heidi has said about wanting to take this trip with me, maybe she’s ready to go home herself. “Do you want to go back right now?”
She takes her hand off of the door and holds it open for me. “I do phone sex, Kylie. My customers aren’t going anywhere, and besides, I really do want to see my folks. But I’m offering to take you home. I don’t want to see you hurt, and now you’ve got me all worried.”
We walk side by side through the muggy carport, and in the distance, I hear Cal and Wyatt’s voices as they load their luggage and guitars into the back of the Suburban. I stop Heidi several feet away from the SUV, clamping my hand down on her wrist. “Don’t.” My voice is hushed and more pleading than I intend for it to be. “Don’t worry. I want to do this.”
She drags her hand through her long brown hair, exhaling. “I know you do. But for the first time since you told me what your plan is, I actually believe that you just might go through with it. That you’re done with him.”
What she’s saying is so similar to what Wyatt said this morning that I feel a cold pain spread across the inside of my chest.
“I hate when you don’t get enough sleep because you’re way too emo.”
She pushes her shoulders back. “I’m worried because you’re drawing this out and it’s going to be hell to walk away. I’m worried because, in the end, you’ll hurt so much worse.”