But give it a week and suddenly everything seemed different. Reality in the aftermath of the accident had finally settled in, and fertilizer it wasn’t. Denise was seated at the Formica table in her small kitchen, poring through the papers in front of her, doing her best to make sense of them. The hospital stay was covered by the insurance, but the deductible was not. Her car may have been old, but it was nonetheless reliable. Now it was totaled, and she’d had only liability insurance. Her boss, Ray, bless his heart, told her to take her time coming back, and eight days had gone by without her earning a penny. The regular bills—phone, electricity, water, gas—were due in less than a week. And to top it off, she was staring at the bill from the towing service, the people who’d been called to remove her vehicle from the side of the road.
This week Denise’s life was crap.
It wouldn’t be so bad, of course, if she were a millionaire. These problems would be nothing more than an inconvenience then. She could imagine some socialite explaining what a bother it was to have to deal with such things. But with a few hundred bucks in the bank, this wasn’t a bother. It was a bona fide problem, and a big one at that.
She could cover the regular bills with what was left in the checking account and still have enough for food if she was careful. Lots of cereal this month, that was for sure, and it was a good thing Ray let them eat for free at the diner. She could use her credit card for the hospital deductible—five hundred dollars. Luckily she’d called Rhonda—another waitress at Eights—and she’d agreed to help Denise get to and from work. That left the towing service, and fortunately they’d offered to clear the bill in exchange for the pink slip. Seventy-five dollars for the remains of her car and they’d call it even.
The net result? An additional credit card bill every month and she’d have to start riding her bicycle for errands around town. Even worse, she’d be dependent on someone to drive her to and from the diner. For a gal with a college education, this wasn’t much to brag about.
Crap.
If she’d had a bottle of wine, she’d have opened it. She could have used a little escapism right now. But, hey, she couldn’t even afford that.
Seventy-five bucks for her car.
Even though it was fair, somehow it just didn’t seem right. She wouldn’t even see the money.
After writing out the checks for her bills, she sealed the envelopes and used the last of her stamps. She’d have to swing by the post office to get some more, and she made a notation on the pad by the phone before remembering that “swinging by” had taken on a whole new meaning. If it wasn’t so pathetic, she would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.
A bicycle. Lord have mercy.
Trying to look on the bright side, she told herself that at least she’d get in shape. Within a few months she might even be a little thankful for the extra fitness. “Look at those legs,” she imagined people saying, “why, they’re just like steel. However did you get them?”
“I ride my bike.”
This time she couldn’t help but giggle. She was twenty-nine years old and she’d be telling people about her bike. Lord have mercy.
Denise shook off the giggles, knowing they were simply a reaction to stress, and left the kitchen to check on Kyle. Sleeping soundly. After adjusting the covers and a quick kiss on his cheek, she headed outside and sat on the back porch, wondering yet again if she’d made the right decision to move here. Even though she knew that it was impossible, she found herself wishing she’d been able to stay in Atlanta. It would have been nice sometimes to have someone to talk to, someone she’d known for years. She supposed she could use the phone, but this month it wouldn’t be possible, and there was no way she was going to call collect. Even though her friends probably wouldn’t care, it wasn’t something she was comfortable doing.
Still, she wanted to talk to someone. But who?
With the exception of Rhonda at the diner (who was twenty and single)—and Judy McAden—Denise didn’t know anyone in town. It was one thing to lose her mother a few years back, it was a completely different situation to lose everyone she knew. Nor did it help to realize that it was her own fault. She’d chosen to move, she’d chosen to leave her job, she’d chosen to devote her life to her son. Living this way had a simplicity to it—as well as a necessity—but sometimes she couldn’t help thinking that the other parts of her life were slipping by without her even knowing it.
Her loneliness, though, couldn’t simply be blamed on the move. In retrospect, she knew that even while she was in Atlanta, things had begun to change. Most of her friends were married now, a few had kids of their own. Some had stayed single. None, however, had anything in common with her anymore. Her married friends enjoyed spending time with other married couples, her single friends enjoyed the same life they had in college. She didn’t fit into either world. Even those who had children—well, it was hard to hear how wonderful their kids were doing. And talking about Kyle? They were supportive, but they would never really understand what it was like.
Then, of course, there was the whole man thing. Brett—good old Brett—was the last man she’d dated, and in reality it hadn’t even been a date. A roll in the sack, perhaps, but not a date. What a roll, though, huh? Twenty minutes and boom—her whole life changed. What would her life be like now if it hadn’t happened? True, Kyle wouldn’t be here . . . but . . . But what? Maybe she’d be married, maybe she’d have a couple of kids, maybe she’d even have a house with a white picket fence around the yard. She’d drive a Volvo or minivan and spend every vacation at Disney World. It sounded good, it definitely sounded easier, but would her life be any better?
Kyle. Sweet Kyle. Simply thinking about him made her smile.
No, she decided, it wouldn’t be better. If there was one bright spot in her life, he was it. Funny how he could drive her crazy and still make her love him for it.
Sighing, Denise left the porch and walked to the bedroom. Undressing in the bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror. The bruises on her cheek were still visible, but only slightly. The gash on her forehead had been closed neatly with stitches, and though she would always have a scar, it was near the hairline and wouldn’t be too obvious.
Other than that, she was pleased with how she looked. Because money was always such a concern, she never kept cookies or chips in the house. And since Kyle didn’t eat meat, she seldom had that, either. She was thinner now than she was before Kyle had been born—hell, she was thinner than she was in college. Without her even trying, fifteen pounds had simply melted away. If she had the time, she’d write a book and title it Stress and Poverty: The Guaranteed Way to Lose Inches Fast! She’d probably sell a million copies and retire.
She giggled again. Yeah, right.
As Judy had mentioned in the hospital, Denise did resemble her mother. She had the same dark, wavy hair and hazel eyes, they were roughly the same height. Like her mother, she was aging well—a few crow’s-feet in the corners of her eyes, but otherwise smooth skin. All in all, she didn’t look too bad. In fact, she looked pretty good, if she did say so herself.
At least something was going right.
Deciding to end on that note, Denise put on a pair of pajamas, set the oscillating fan on low, and crawled under the sheets before turning out the lights. The whir and rattle was rhythmic, and she fell asleep within minutes.
With early morning sunlight slanting through the windows, Kyle padded through the bedroom and crawled into bed with Denise, ready to start the day. He whispered, “Wake up, Money, wake up,” and when she rolled over with a groan, he climbed over her and used his little fingers to try to lift her eyelids. Though he wasn’t successful, he thought it was hilarious, and his laugh was contagious. “Open your eyes, Money,” he kept saying, and despite the ungodly hour, she couldn’t help but laugh as well.
To make the morning even better, Judy called a little after nine to see if they were still on for their visit. After gabbing a little while—Judy would be coming over the following afternoon, hurray!—Denise hung up the phone, thinking about her mood from the night before and the difference a good night’s sleep could make.
She chalked it up to PMS.
A little later, after breakfast, Denise got the bikes ready. Kyle’s was ready to go; hers was draped with cobwebs she had to wipe off. The tires on both bikes, she noticed, were low but had enough air to get into town.
After she’d helped Kyle put on his helmet, they started toward town under a blue and cloudless sky, Kyle riding out in front. Last December she’d spent a day running through the apartment complex parking lot in Atlanta, holding on to his bicycle seat until he’d gotten the hang of it. It had taken him a few hours and half a dozen falls, but overall he had a natural instinct for it. Kyle had always had above average motor skills, a fact that always surprised the doctors when they tested him. He was, she’d come to learn, a child of many contradictions.
Of course, like any four-year-old, he wasn’t able to focus on much more than keeping his balance and trying to have fun. To him, riding his bike was an adventure (especially when Mom was doing it, too), and he rode with reckless abandon. Even though traffic was light, Denise found herself shouting instructions every few seconds.
“Stay close to Mommy. . . .”
“Stop!”
“Don’t go in the road. . . .”
“Stop!”
“Pull over, honey, a car’s coming. . . .”
“Stop!”
“Watch out for the hole. . . .”
“Stop!”
“Don’t go so fast. . . .”
“Stop!”
“Stop” was the only command he really understood, and whenever she said it, he’d hit the brakes, put his feet on the ground, then turn around with a big toothy grin, as if to say, This is so much fun. Why’re you so upset?
Denise was a nervous wreck by the time they reached the post office.
She knew then and there that riding a bicycle just wasn’t going to cut it, and she decided to ask Ray for two extra shifts a week for the time being. Pay off the hospital deductible, save every penny, and maybe she’d be able to afford another car in a couple of months.
A couple of months?
She’d probably go nuts by then.
Standing in line—there was always a line at the post office—Denise wiped the perspiration from her forehead and hoped her deodorant was working. That was another thing she hadn’t exactly expected when she’d started out from the house this morning. Riding a bike wasn’t simply an inconvenience, it was work, especially for someone who hadn’t ridden in a while. Her legs were tired, she knew her butt would be sore tomorrow, and she could feel the sweat dripping between her br**sts and down her back. She tried to maintain a little distance between herself and the others in line so as not to offend them. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice.
A minute later she stood in front of the counter and received her stamps. After writing a check, she slipped her checkbook and stamps into her purse and walked back outside. She and Kyle hopped on their bikes and headed toward the market.
Edenton had a small downtown, but from a historic perspective the town was a gem. Homes dated back to the early 1800s, and nearly all had been restored to their former glory over the past thirty years. Giant oak trees lined both sides of the street and shaded the roads, providing pleasant cover from the heat of the sun.
Though Edenton had a supermarket, it was on the other side of town, and Denise decided to drop into Merchants instead, a store that had graced the town since the 1940s. It was old-fashioned in every way imaginable and a marvel of supply. The store sold everything from food to bait to automotive supplies, offered videos for rent, and had a small grill off to one side where they could cook up something on the spot. Adding to the atmosphere were four rocking chairs and a bench out front, where a regular group of locals dropped by for coffee in the mornings.
The store itself was small—maybe a few thousand square feet—and it always amazed Denise when she saw how many different items they could squeeze onto the shelves. Denise filled a small plastic basket with the few things she needed—milk, oatmeal, cheese, eggs, bread, bananas, Cheerios, macaroni and cheese, Ritz crackers, and candy (for working with Kyle)—then went to the register. Her total came to less than she expected, which was good, but unlike the supermarket, the store didn’t offer plastic bags to pack them in. Instead the owner—a man with neatly combed white hair and thick bushy eyebrows—packed everything into two brown paper bags.
And that, of course, was a problem she’d overlooked.
She would have preferred plastic so she could have slipped the loops over her handlebars—but bags? How was she going to get all this home? Two arms, two bags, two handles on the bike—it just didn’t add up. Especially when she had to watch out for Kyle.
She glanced at her son, still pondering the problem, and noticed he was staring through the glass entrance door, toward the street, an unfamiliar expression on his face.
“What is it, honey?”
He answered, though she didn’t understand what he was trying to say. It sounded like fowman. Leaving her groceries on the counter, she bent down so she could watch him as he said it again. Watching his lips sometimes made understanding him easier.
“What did you say? ‘Fowman’?”
Kyle nodded and said it again. “Fowman.” This time he pointed through the door, and Denise looked in that direction. As she did so, Kyle started toward the door, and all at once she knew what he’d meant.
Not fowman, though it was close. Fireman.
Taylor McAden was standing outside the store, holding the door partially open while talking to someone off to the side, someone she couldn’t see. She watched as he nodded and waved, laughed again, then opened the door a little more. While Taylor ended his conversation, Kyle ran up to him and Taylor stepped inside without really paying attention to where he was going. He almost bowled Kyle over before catching his balance.