“I know. Brenda told me.” She grinned, and after a moment, Miles couldn’t help but smile as well. Before he could say anything else, however, a loud roar went up and both of them turned to see Jonah break away from the pack, charge down the field, and kick yet another goal, this one to tie the score. As Jonah’s teammates surged around him, Miles and Sarah stood together on the sidelines, both of them clapping and cheering for the same young boy.
***
“Did you enjoy it?” Miles asked. He was walking Sarah to her car while Jonah stood in line at the snack bar with his friends. The game had been won by Jonah’s team, and after the game, Jonah had run up to Sarah to ask her if she’d seen his goal. When she’d answered that she had, Jonah had beamed and given her a hug before scrambling off to join his friends. Miles, surprisingly, had been all but ignored, though the fact that Jonah was fond of Sarah-and vice versa-left him feeling strangely satisfied.
“It was fun,” she admitted. “I wish I could have been here for the whole thing, though.”
In the early afternoon sunlight, her skin glowed beneath the tan she still carried from the summer.
“It’s fine. Jonah was simply glad you showed up.” He glanced at her sideways.
“So what’s on your agenda the rest of the day?”
“I’m meeting my mom for lunch downtown.”
“Where?”
“Fred amp; Clara’s? It’s a little place just around the corner from where I live.”
“I know the place. It’s great.”
They reached her car, a red Nissan Sentra, and Sarah started rummaging through her handbag for her keys. As she searched for them, Miles found himself staring at her. With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose, she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. Add to that the faded jeans shorts and long legs, and she sure didn’t look like any teacher Miles had ever had growing up.
Behind them, a white pickup truck began backing out. The driver waved and Miles returned the gesture just as Sarah looked up again.
“You know him?”
“It’s a small town. It seems like I know everyone.”
“That must be comforting.”
“Sometimes it is, other times it isn’t. If you’ve got secrets, this isn’t the place for you, that’s for sure.”
For a moment, Sarah wondered if he was talking about himself. Before she could dwell on it, Miles went on.
“Hey, I want to thank you again for everything you’re doing for Jonah.”
“You don’t have to thank me every time you see me.”
“I know. It’s just that I’ve noticed a big change in him these last few weeks.” “So have I. He’s catching up pretty quickly, even faster than I thought he would. He actually started reading aloud in class this week.” “I’m not surprised. He’s got a good teacher.”
To Miles’s surprise, Sarah actually blushed. “He’s got a good father, too.”
He liked that.
And he liked the look she’d given him when she’d said it. As if uncertain what to do next, Sarah fiddled with her keys. She selected one and unlocked her front door. As she swung the door open, Miles stepped back slightly.
“So, how much longer do you think he’ll need to keep staying after school?” he asked.
Keep talking. Don’t let her leave yet.
“I’m not sure yet. A while, for sure. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?”
“No,” he continued. “I was just curious.”
She nodded, waiting to see if he’d add anything else, but he didn’t. “Okay,” she finally said. “We’ll keep going like we are and see how he’s doing in another month. Is that all right?”
Another month. He’d continue to see her for at least that long. Good.
“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed.
For a long moment neither of them said anything, and in the silence Sarah glanced at her watch. “Listen, I’m running a little late,” she said apologetically, and Miles nodded.
“I know-you’ve got to go,” he said, not wanting her to leave just yet. He wanted to keep talking. He wanted to learn everything he could about her. What you really mean is that it’s time to ask her out.
And no chickening out this time. No hanging up the phone, no putzing around.
Bite the bullet!
Be a man!
Go for it!
He steeled himself, knowing he was ready… but… but… how should he do it? Good Lord, it had been a long time since he had been in a situation like this. Should he suggest dinner or lunch? Or maybe a movie? Or…? As Sarah started to climb in her car, his mind was sorting and searching frantically, trying to come up with ways to prolong her time with him long enough to figure it out. “Wait-before you go-can I ask you something?” he blurted out. “Sure.” She looked at him quizzically.
Miles put his hands in his pockets, feeling those little butterflies, feeling seventeen again. He swallowed.
“So…,” he began. His mind was racing, those little wheels spinning for everything they were worth.
“Yes?”
Sarah knew instinctively what was coming.
Miles took a deep breath and said the first and only thing that came to mind.
“How’s the fan working out?”
She stared at him, a perplexed expression on her face. “The fan?” she repeated. Miles felt as if he’d just swallowed a ton of lead.The fan? What the hell was he thinking? The fan?That was all he could come up with? It was as if his brain had suddenly taken a vacation, but for the life of him, he couldn’t stop…
“Yeah. You know… the fan that I got you for your class.”
“It’s fine,” she said uncertainly.
“Because I can get you a new one if you don’t like it.”
She reached out to touch his arm, a look of concern on her face. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said seriously. “I just wanted to make sure you’re happy with it.”
“You picked a good one, okay?”
“Good,” he said, hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot.
***
The fan?
After she pulled out of the parking lot, Miles stood without moving, wishing that he could turn back the clock and undo everything that had just happened. He wanted to find the nearest rock to crawl under, a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. Thank God no one was around to hear it! Except for Sarah.
For the rest of the day, the end of their conversation kept repeating in his head, like a song he’d heard on early morning radio.
How’s the fan working out?… Because I can get you a new one… I just want to make sure you’re happy with it…
It was painful, physically painful, to recall it. And no matter what else he did that afternoon, the memory would lurk there under the surface, waiting to emerge and humiliate him. And on the following day, it was the same thing. He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong… something… and boom! There was the memory again, taunting him. He winced and felt the lead in his gut. And then he pulled the pillow over his head.
Chapter 8
So how do you like it so far?” Brenda asked.
It was Monday, and Brenda and Sarah were sitting at the picnic table outside, the same one that Miles and Sarah had visited a month earlier. Brenda had picked up lunch from the Pollock Street Deli, which in Brenda’s opinion, made the best sandwiches in town. “It’ll give us a chance to visit,” she’d said with a wink, before running out to the deli.
Though this wasn’t the first time they’d had the chance to “visit,” as Brenda put it, their conversations had usually been relatively short and impersonal: where supplies were stored, whom she needed to talk to to get a couple of new desks, things like that. Of course, Brenda had also been the one whom Sarah had first asked about Jonah and Miles, and because she knew Brenda was close to them, she also understood that this lunch was Brenda’s attempt to find out what, if anything, was going on.
“You mean working at the school? It’s different from the classes I had in Baltimore, but I like it.”
“You worked in the inner city, right?”
“I worked in downtown Baltimore for four years.”
“How was that?”
Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. “Not as bad as you probably think. Kids are kids, no matter where they’re from, especially when they’re young. The neighborhood might have been rough, but you kind of get used to it and you learn to be careful. I never had any trouble at all. And the people I worked with were great. It’s easy to look at test scores and think the teachers don’t care, but that’s not the way it is. There were a lot of people I really looked up to.” “How did you decide to work there? Was your ex-husband a teacher, too?”
“No,” she said simply.
Brenda saw the pain in Sarah’s eyes for a moment, but almost as quickly as she noticed it, it was gone.
Sarah opened her can of Diet Pepsi. “He’s an investment banker. Or was… I don’t know what he does these days. Our divorce wasn’t exactly amicable, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, “and I’m sorrier I brought it up.” “Don’t be. You didn’t know.” She paused before forming a lazy smile. “Or did you?” she asked.
Brenda’s eyes widened. “No, I didn’t know.”
Sarah looked at her expectantly.
“Really,” Brenda said again.
“Nothing?”
Brenda shifted slightly in her seat. “Well, maybe I did hear a couple of things,” she admitted sheepishly, and Sarah laughed.
“I thought so. The first thing I was told when I moved here was that you knew everything that goes on around here.”
“I don’t knoweverything, ” Brenda said, feigning indignation. “And despite what you may have heard about me, I don’t repeat everything Ido know. If someone tells me to keep something to myself, I do.” She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice. “I know things about people that would make your head spin around like you’re in dire need of an exorcism,” she said, “but if it’s said in confidence, I keep it that way.”
“Are you saying this so I’ll trust you?”
“Of course,” she said. She glanced around, then leaned across the table. “Now dish up.”
Sarah grinned and Brenda waved a hand as she went on. “I’m kidding, of course. And in the future-since we do work together-keep in mind that I won’t get my feelings hurt if you tell me I’ve gone too far. Sometimes I blurt out questions without really thinking, but I don’t do it to hurt people. I really don’t.” “Fair enough,” Sarah said, satisfied.
Brenda picked up her sandwich. “And since you’re new in town and we don’t know each other that well, I won’t ask anything that might seem too personal.” “I appreciate that.”
“Besides, it’s not really my business anyway.”
“Right.”
Brenda paused before taking a bite. “But if you have any questions about anyone, feel free to ask.”
“Okay,” Sarah said easily.
“I mean, I know how it is to be new in town and feel like you’re on the outside looking in.”
“I’m sure you do.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
“So…” Brenda drew out the syllable expectantly.
“So…” Sarah said in response, knowing exactly what Brenda wanted.
Again there was a period of silence.
“So… do you have any questions about…anyone? ” Brenda prodded. “Mmm…,” Sarah said, appearing to think it over. Then, shaking her head, she answered: “Not really.”
“Oh,” Brenda said, unable to hide her disappointment.
Sarah smiled at Brenda’s attempt at subtlety.
“Well, maybe there is one person I’d like to ask you about,” she offered. Brenda’s face lit up. “Now we’re talking,” she said quickly. “What would you like to know?”
“Well, I’ve been wondering about…” She paused, trailing off, and Brenda looked at her like a child unwrapping a Christmas gift.
“Yes?” she whispered, sounding almost desperate.
“Well…” Sarah looked around. “What can you tell me about… Bob Bostrum?”
Brenda’s jaw dropped. “Bob… the janitor?”
Sarah nodded. “He’s sort of cute.”
“He’s seventy-four years old,” Brenda said, thunderstruck.
“Is he married?” Sarah asked.
“He’s been married for fifty years. He’s got nine kids.” “Oh, that’s a shame,” Sarah said. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her, and Sarah shook her head. After a moment, she looked up and met Brenda’s gaze with a twinkle in her eye. “Well, I guess that leaves Miles Ryan, then. What can you tell me about him?”
It took a moment for the words to sink in, and Brenda looked Sarah over carefully. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were teasing me.” Sarah winked. “You don’t have to know me better: I admit it. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses.”
“And you’re good at it.” Brenda paused for a moment before smiling. “But now, while we’re on the subject of Miles Ryan… I hear that you two have been seeing quite a bit of each other. Not only after school, but on the weekend, too.”
“You know I’ve been working with Jonah, and he asked me to come out to watch him play soccer.”