I pulled my board out of his grip, my fingertips skimming his, and balanced it on top of my head. “I’m sorry,” I said, as we padded barefoot to where the waves were crashing more violently than any day I’d been here. He gave me a look, waiting for me to elaborate, and I sighed. Why did he have to make it so hard? “About the other night. Being so . . .”
“Difficult?”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“I’m not the one apologizing for being difficult, am I?”
I sighed, shaking my head, and shuffled my feet, kicking up sand. “I’m not good with relationships,” I said.
“We could learn,” he said, and I shivered. “But for now, let’s just enjoy this.”
We pushed our boards into the sea, sloshing out past the white water. Once the water came up just under my br**sts, Cooper nodded. “Okay, push off the floor with your feet and—”
Before he could finish speaking, I kicked off the sand with balls of my feet and easily slid my body onto the purple and white board. I looked over at him, grinning, as I began to paddle my arms through the water using long strokes. He was right behind me.
“Confident much?” he asked.
“I’ve got the best teacher, don’t I?”
He tilted his head back. “Well, yes, but I don’t want you to get in over your head.”
“You said you’ll look after me,” I said teasingly, but the fiercely protective expression that took over his face made some of that light-heartedness disappear. When he looked at me like that, I felt like the sea could drain dry and he wouldn’t even notice.
“Always,” he said. Then he frowned, breaking our eye contact, and shook his head. “We’re too far out, Wills. Let’s go back some.”
“Lame ass,” I said, but I began to paddle my board around to take his advice. I expected him to come back with something witty and sexy or so intense it made my stomach and between my legs hurt. “What no come back?” I asked.
“Paddle back,” he said. “Now!”
It was only then that I saw, and heard, the giant wall of water coming toward us. My heart hurled itself into my throat, choking me, and my body went numb. For a moment, I couldn’t move or breathe—all I could do was watch the wave grow closer, bigger.
Cooper’s accented voice finally broke through my haze, shouting over and over again for me to paddle.
I pumped my arms hard, drifting my board over the first wave. When I popped up, taking on the second, I could have sworn I heard Cooper say something. But then the next swell came at me, knocking me off my board. The sea crashed over my head, dragging me beneath the white water, and the only thing I heard was the sound of my heart exploding inside of my ears.
I fought the sea—tried to use the surfboard string attached to my ankle to claw myself back to the surface—but all that did for me was yank me down even further. When my feet touched the bottom, terror ripped through my body.
Then, a pair of familiar arms wrapped around my waist.
A moment later, Cooper and I broke the surface, both of us gasping for air.
My head was spinning as he whispered repeatedly, “You’re alright.”
I was numb as he helped me climb onto my board. He pushed me back to shore in silence, but once we hit the sand, and he stood over me, examining me, all I could think about was how he’d saved me. How he’d found me.
But a moment later when I wrapped myself around him, seeking out his tongue with my own, he pushed away from me.
“You almost drowned, Wills,” he said through clenched teeth.
He was rejecting me. Holy f**k he was actually rejecting me after all the effort he’d put into telling me how much he wanted me.
I wouldn’t let him know how badly that stung. Trying to seem nonchalant about the fact I’d almost drowned and he’d shoved me away only moments later, I said, “Thanks for looking out for me.” I turned away from him, yanking my hairband out, releasing my dark hair to tumble down my back in a mess of tangles. When I faced him again, his body tensed up, and I mentally slapped myself.
“What I mean is—thank you for pulling me back in. I don’t want to drown before . . .”
Before what, Willow? Before you can f**k up again?
I ignored that voice, bending down when he did to help him pick up our boards. Our hands reached for my purple one at the exact same time and he had no other choice but look up.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, unable to form any other words.
He laughed, shaking his head, as he tugged the board from my grip and stood up. “When you’re like this, I can’t—”
“Can’t what?”
He started the trek back to his house, so I scrambled to my feet, ignoring my aching muscles and caught up to him. He looked down at me and gave me a tortured smile. Didn’t he know I was a sucker for angsty, tortured looks?
“I want to kiss you. Again and again,” he said in a hoarse voice.
“You had your chance, so why didn’t you?” I demanded. He gave me a dark look and started to turn away, but I grabbed his free arm, forcing him to look at me. “Don’t be f**king wishy-washy, Cooper.”
He threw both the boards down. They fell into the sand, clanged against each other, as he yanked my body against his. I stood my ground and dared his blue eyes with my own, even though my chest felt like it would burst from the pressure. Screw Cooper. Screw him for making me feel like this over and over and over again.
“I’m not wishy-washy. I know exactly what and who I want, but I’m also smart enough to know when that person isn’t ready or willing. You tried to kiss me because you wanted to pay me back for saving you and I refuse to take advantage of that.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he hushed me, catching my lips gently between his thumb and forefinger. “When you went under I freaked out. I don’t want to get hurt out there but I can’t stop you from falling.”