She didn’t respond as she started the engine and drove out of the car park without looking back. Which is exactly what she’d have to do where he was concerned anyway. Walk away and not look back.
She was halfway home when something occurred to her. Was this Julia the woman who had “mattered”?
Without a doubt she knew that she was. And obviously Julia still mattered or Brant would still be in bed with her right now.
Kia didn’t call him when she got home. Worse, he didn’t call her, and that made her heart sink more.
Obviously she wasn’t as important to him as Julia.
Kia got no sleep for the rest of the night and by morning she felt exhausted. Not even her usual shower, followed by a breakfast of sliced mango, nor a cup of coffee, could make her feel the slightest bit better.
If only she didn’t love Brant. It would all be so much easier if he was the kind of man she thought might eventually love her in return. Only he wasn’t. And he never would be. A leopard didn’t change its spots.
A womanizer didn’t become trustworthy. The word faithful wasn’t in his dictionary.
Phillip rang as she headed out the door. She’d decided to go to work early and get some of the paperwork typed and on Brant’s desk before he came in. He was bound to be late, if he turned up at all.
“What do you think you’re doing sending some woman to seduce me?” Phillip joked, his tone so heart-breakingly light that Kia had to smile.
“And did Lynette succeed?”
“Let’s just say she surpassed all expectations.” There was a slight hesitation. “How can we ever thank you for all you’ve done, Kia?” he said softly.
“Just be happy. That’s all the thanks I want.”
“We will. And we want you to come to the wedding in two months time. We would have scheduled it earlier, but I have to see one more doctor, then I’m all hers.”
Kia knew she wouldn’t want to go to the wedding. How could she bear seeing Brant in a social situation? Worse, with Julia by his side.
“I’ll put it in my calendar.”
“Speaking of calendars, aren’t you supposed to be spending Christmas with your family in Adelaide?
Lynette told me you were in the office yesterday.”
She tried to think quickly without worrying him. “I did spend Christmas at home, but I got away early.”
She gave a light laugh. “Too much noise. Too many people. You know how holidays are.”
“But you didn’t have to go back to work so soon.” He paused. “Or is there a problem at the office I’m not aware of?”
“No, of course not,” she assured him quickly. “I just popped in yesterday to pick up something I’d left behind, and Brant was there and needed something typed so I stayed.”
A moment’s silence, then he said, “Remind me to give you a bonus. Of course, most women think working with Brant would be bonus enough….” He trailed off suggestively.
“No doubt.”
“I’ll have to tell him, you know. About me and Lynette.” He sounded worried. “You’ll be open season after that.”
She pretended to be unconcerned. “He already knows. He overheard Lynette and I talking yesterday.”
“And?”
“And nothing.” Time to go. “Phillip, I have an appointment and I’m running late.”
“Oh, damn. I’ve just realized something. Word’s bound to get out about you and I breaking up.” He swore. “And I can’t get back there just yet to help you.”
“I’ll manage.” Phillip’s idea of helping would probably make the situation worse anyway.
“But you’re going to bear the brunt of it, Kia. Some people might think you dumped me because of my limp,” he reminded her.
She pushed aside thoughts of what that journalist would say and knew there was only one answer. “Not if we’re honest with them.” Holding back the truth from everyone was of little value now anyway. “It’s the best way to go.”
He drew in a long breath. “Yes, you’re right.”
“Look, I really must be going.”
“Kia?”
She stiffened. “Yes?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Of course I am, Phillip. Thanks for asking. I’ll talk to you soon.” She quickly hung up so he wouldn’t hear the catch in her voice. She couldn’t bear that anyone else knew her feelings for Brant. As far as she was concerned, loving Brant was something so private, so personal, she couldn’t share it with another soul.
Chapter Eight
Kia stepped out of the elevator at ten past eight and was tempted to tiptoe to her office just in case Brant was at his desk. But that would be acting like a coward, she decided, straightening her shoulders and striding down the hallway. The empty offices were quiet.
She reached Brant’s door and glanced inside, her throat aching with defeat when she saw the room empty. Had she really thought he’d be at work? Dear God, how could he make love to her last night, then go to another woman? Her heart squeezed in anguish. It was morally wrong. So why was she surprised? Just because she loved him didn’t change what he was.
Swallowing hard, she forced herself to continue to her office. She was beginning to have a new appreciation for the turmoil her mother had gone through with her father. She loved her mother dearly, but she’d never really understood how a woman could stay with a man who cared for her so little. She’d even sometimes thought of her mother as weak when it came to her father. Now she knew it had taken a special kind of blind loyalty to stay with him as long as she had.
An hour later Kia stretched, rose from her desk and went to stand at the window. She looked down at the sun-shadowed street below. The world continued to turn, but inside she felt dead, as if her heart had shriveled into a rock. She had to forget Brant, but she couldn’t even summon the energy to do that right now. He still hadn’t arrived. He was still with—
“Kia?”
She spun toward the sound. The heart she thought dead leaped to life. Brant stood in the doorway, dressed in a fresh set of clothes that made him look clean and vital and so disturbingly handsome that her knees turned weak.
She lifted her gaze to find him watching her with a knowing intensity that made heat surge into her cheeks.
His look said she couldn’t hide from him. That she was his.
Then reality kicked in and her stomach clenched tight. Physical closeness wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Her feelings for him ran too deep.
“I didn’t think you’d be here so early,” she said coolly, determined to keep her distance.
His eyes narrowed. “Why not?”
“I thought you’d be…preoccupied.”
He started to close the gap between them. “Preoccupied with what?” he said silkily. “Or should I say whom?”
She managed a shrug. “With Julia, of course.”
He stopped right in front of her. “Ah…you mean in bed with Julia, don’t you?”
Did he have to rub it in? Was he getting some masochistic pleasure from pointing this out?
Her chin lifted. “Look, if you want to sleep with other women, that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to like it.
Or to accept it. I won’t share any man.” She saw something flare in his eyes. “Julia’s welcome to you,”she ended in disgust.
There was a lethal calmness in his eyes. “So you’re telling me to choose between you and Julia?”
“No, I’m telling you to choose between me and any other women you want to sleep with, including Julia.”
“I don’t take kindly to ultimatums. And I don’t explain my actions to anyone.” His arrogant gaze slid over her, pausing a moment on the swell of her br**sts. “But for you, dear Kia, I’m going to relent on that last one. I did not sleep with Julia last night. The only woman I slept with was you, and then we got very little sleep, as I recall.”
She wanted to believe him. Oh, how she wanted to. But how could she forget those nights listening to her mother’s hushed accusations and her father’s denials. Denials that had always proven to be lies.
She met his gaze with steely-eyed determination. “Very clever, Brant, but unlike some women, I don’t believe everything I’m told. You say you didn’t sleep with Julia. But you didn’t deny hav**g s*x with her.”
A shadow of anger swept across his face. “That’s because I didn’t have sex with her.”
“I’ve heard that one before,” she said, turning away.
He grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her back. “Listen. I am not your father.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, stunned by his perceptiveness. Was she so transparent? Or did she subconsciously wear her thoughts blazoned across her back?
His hold tightened. “Kia, you once said you wouldn’t apologize for him. Well, I’m not going to apologize for him either. Your father is a shallow man without integrity. Do you really think I’m like him?”
Her mind reeled in confusion. She’d never even considered the possibility that he wasn’t like her father.
His jaw clenched. “You either believe me or you don’t. It’s your decision.”
She stared up at him, trying to assess if he was telling the truth. If he was, then she’d have to reverse her opinion of him. That wasn’t an easy thing to do.
She saw the strain in his eyes and etched around his nose and mouth. Suddenly she knew that if she didn’t believe him, then it would be the end of them. He would shut her out of his life for good without a single regret.
And it was that very thing that made her admit he had a deep sense of personal integrity, unlike her father. She just hadn’t let herself see it until now.
“I believe you,” she said softly but firmly.
His chest rose and fell, but it was the flash of relief in his eyes that made her heart constrict. It overwhelmed her to know he really cared what she thought of him.
His fingers loosened on her shoulders. “Thank you,” he said with a casual sort of dignity that was at odds with the arrogance just beneath the surface.
All at once she knew this was no longer just about her believing Brant.
“And now you’ve got to believe something about me,” she said, taking this chance, knowing this was important to her. “I’m telling you truthfully that I’m not a gold digger, I’ve never worked anyone to get either money or marriage out of them and I’m not with you for money or marriage.” She lifted her chin with clear determination, her heart slamming against her ribs. “You can choose to believe me or not.”
He studied her face for more than one heartbeat, his eyes not leaving hers for a second, but she saw the jolt of surprise in them, the assessment of her words, a decision and finally the admiration.
“I believe you,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms, holding her close, which was just as well because her knees had given way. The knowledge that he was seeing her as the person she was for the first time made her feel gloriously thankful.
He leaned back. “And for the record, just in case you think you’re like your mother because you believe me like she did with your father, you’re not. So you have no need to feel guilty.”
She frowned. “Guilty?”
The sensual spread of his mouth made her heart hammer against her ribs. “For wanting me.”
Her frown disappeared as her lips began to twitch. “Who said I wanted you?”
“I seem to remember a few whispered pleas in my ears last night,” he murmured, lifting her hands and placing them around his neck. She didn’t resist.
“Hey, that was me begging you to let me sleep.”
“Oh, really? Perhaps we should repeat it tonight and see.” His warm breath caressed her cheeks.
“Not tonight,” she teased. “I’m busy.”
“You’d better not have a date,” he growled.
“I want to wash my hair.”
“I’ll wash it for you.”
“Will you do my ironing, too?”
He chuckled and pulled her closer. “We can come to a compromise. Wear non-crushable clothes. Better yet, wear no clothes at all. It’ll make for a very interesting evening.”
Just the thought of how interesting it could be made her feel very sexy. “My place or yours?” she asked throatily, amazed at how easily she’d slipped into the role of seductress.
“Mine,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. Then he gave her a quick, hard kiss and let her go. “I’ve got a meeting in an hour with one of the Anderson executives. We’ll continue this tonight. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
She was melting so fast she had to keep some independence. “I can drive myself.”
“Fine, but don’t plan on leaving early.” He gave her a smile that sent her pulse spinning. “In fact, I doubt I’ll let you leave at all.”
At seven-fifteen Kia found herself once again standing in front of Brant’s penthouse. It was hard to believe she’d been here twenty-four hours ago, and even then she’d sworn to herself it was a one-off thing. Talk about making the same mistake twice. Talk about being a woman weakened by love.
When he opened the door, it was like opening the door to her heart. Everything inside her reached for him, enveloped him, made him hers. It was the oddest feeling, yet it felt so right.
He didn’t say a word. He just stepped back and let her pass, then kicked the door shut with his foot, his hand sliding around her arm and turning her to face him. She had no idea how long they stood gazing at each other.
“Come here,” he finally murmured and tugged her toward him. She went willingly, and his lips found hers, and she simply gave herself up to him and his touch. He made her feel whole. As if her world had been split in two until this moment and now the top and bottom half of her heart had been sealed with love.