“Maybe you already have lived up to it.”
Adam shook his head. “Not a chance.” Then he changed the subject, because that one was too depressing. He and Will talked sports and politics, but his mind never strayed far from thoughts of Valerie.
He planned to go to her apartment for dinner because he couldn’t stay away. And he’d make love to her, because that was what she obviously intended, and he couldn’t resist her. If he had any sense at all, he would resist, but he kept seeing that little twitch in her h*ps as she’d walked away from the elevator. Yeah, he would go to her apartment tonight. He could hardly wait.
Will, who was as perceptive as most therapists, picked up on Adam’s underlying agitation. “Do you need to head back to the ranch? Is that why you’re fidgeting?”
“Uh, no.” He should have realized that meeting Will for a drink was a tactical error. The guy could read him better than any human on the planet. “Valerie invited me to her place for dinner.”
Will’s blond eyebrows lifted. “Did she, now?”
“She did, and I’ll thank you not to comment on that fact.”
“Wasn’t planning to say a word.”
“No, but you’re thinking plenty. Should I cancel?”
Will held up both hands, palms out. “I’m not about to make that call. But I’m glad to hear she invited you over. It’s a positive sign.”
“Will, I haven’t . . . I’ve been off the market for . . . well, you know.”
“I do, and I think this is also a positive sign for you.”
“You’re looking entirely too pleased with yourself, buddy.”
“All I did was put two people on the same path and let nature take its course.”
“And if it all blows up?”
Will shrugged. “Life is messy. But you’re both intelligent people with good hearts. I have faith that you’ll be able to work it out.”
“Just so you know, I told her I was having a drink with you tonight before I came over to her place.”
“Then tell her I said hi.”
“Will, what if tonight is a disaster and she refuses to come out to the Triple Bar anymore? How will that affect her progress?”
“First of all, I doubt tonight will be a disaster, and second of all, she’s doing well. If she never came out to your ranch again, she’d still have sessions with me, and I have every confidence she’ll recover. You can be proud of the help you’ve given her. She’s going to be just fine.”
“Good.” Adam polished off his beer in three gulps. “That’s very good.” He didn’t say that the idea of Valerie never coming out to the ranch again tied his stomach in knots. If going to her place tonight could ruin that, then he shouldn’t do it. He shouldn’t take that risk.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to cancel. I can’t take a chance that something will go wrong tonight and she’ll give up on coming out to the ranch. She loves it there.”
“Don’t cancel.”
“Why not?” Adam paused, the phone in his hand. “Give me one good reason.”
“I could give you dozens, but I’ll settle for what you just said. Did you hear yourself?”
“I can’t take a chance on something going wrong.”
“Not that. The last part. You said she loves it there.”
“Yeah, she does. Her face lights up when she arrives, and she’s really bonded with Rocket Fuel and Saucy Lady. I’m afraid she’s attached to Bubba, too, but she understands about him. I’m hoping that soon I can get her up on Rocket Fuel and we can go for a ride. Not a long one, just a short little ride, to get her used to—”
“Adam, you’ve found a woman who loves your ranch. Why in God’s name are you going to cancel your evening with her?”
“She loves the ranch, William. But the rancher, who would be yours truly, could end up being a huge disappointment to her. If I avoid that by backing off, then she can continue to enjoy the ranch she loves. Do you see what I’m saying?”
Will shook his head. “It must be hell to be you. Listen, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re screwed. If you cancel tonight, she’ll be pissed, and you’ll lose her. If you mess up tonight, she’ll be pissed, and you’ll lose her. So your best option is to head on over there and do your damnedest not to mess up.”
“You’re just a basket of rainbows and butterflies, Will.”
His buddy smiled. “That’s what they tell me. Now get on your horse and ride over to Valerie’s place.”
“Right.” Adam threw some money down on the table because it was his turn to pay. “If this doesn’t work out, you owe me free counseling.”
“It’s always free, Adam.”
He left the bar and prayed that he wouldn’t end up sitting in Will’s office next week, pouring out his troubles.
Seven
What had she been thinking? Valerie had arrived back at her apartment at five forty-five after a mad dash to the grocery store. Adam would be at her door in forty-five minutes. She was about to risk having a man in her apartment again. More than that, she’d given him plenty of reason to believe they’d have sex.
Earlier she’d thought it was a fabulous idea. Now she realized that hav**g s*x involved giving up control, at least if you planned to do it right. For the past several months she’d been all about keeping things under control.
But she trusted Adam. He’d guided her through the process of learning to be comfortable with his horse, Rocket Fuel. He’d taken her successfully through her first elevator ride in months, and he’d protected her from suffering in a crowded elevator, which could easily have sent her into a panic.
She’d been fantasizing about him for three weeks, and their kiss during the second elevator ride had been hot enough to melt the buttons on the control panel. Inviting him to her place so they could explore this attraction on a deeper level was an obvious next move. Except she was having some of those pesky second thoughts.
Sometime this afternoon, when the glow from the elevator kiss had worn off, she’d started thinking about the fact that he wasn’t just any cowboy. As they worked with the horses at his ranch, that was how she tended to view him, probably because she wasn’t intimidated by a guy who wore faded jeans and scuffed boots. But he was also a billionaire.
This afternoon, Valerie had tried to convince herself it wasn’t important. Adam shouldn’t care what her apartment looked like or whether she’d cooked a gourmet meal. And he wouldn’t, if he was the kind of man she thought he was, the kind she could get serious about. But they’d always met on his turf.
Correction: They’d always met in his barn. The barn was functional, not fancy. On her first visit to the Triple Bar, she’d paid attention to the obvious display of wealth in the pristine pastures and the elegant two-story house on the hill. After that, none of it had mattered because she’d focused on Adam and the horses.
But ignoring his wealth, especially if she envisioned a possible future with him, would be naive. Tonight she’d find out how well he managed in a setting that was several notches down from what he was used to. That would be a good thing to know, right? If he was ill at ease, or if he patronized her, even a little bit, a relationship between them wouldn’t work.
Therefore she shouldn’t worry about how her place looked, but she wasn’t that strong. The first thing that stood out in her initial survey was a smear of yellow paint on her white living room wall. Her landlord had given her permission to repaint and she’d tested that cheery color with one ten-inch swipe of the brush. She wanted to cover it up.
Her bedroom closet yielded nothing but rolled up rock band posters from her younger days. Then she spied her collection of scarves. Twenty minutes later, thanks to the scarves and some pushpins, she’d created a fabric wall decoration that looked . . . weird.
But she was out of time to worry about that, so she left it. Next she made a sweep of the area, grabbing up newspapers and magazines, straightening throw pillows, and blowing the dust off her coffee table. It would have to do. She still had to get dinner started, set the table, and change clothes.
Damn! She’d forgotten to buy wine. She had a half-bottle of Chardonnay in the refrigerator. Yeah, that would be classy. Here’s a glass of leftover wine. Hope you didn’t want seconds because that’s all there is.
Stopping in her tracks, she took several calming breaths. She could do this. Presenting a perfect scenario wasn’t in the cards. No matter what she did, the ambiance wouldn’t match what Adam had experienced while he was married to Elise.
Ah, there was her other hidden fear. While at work this afternoon, she’d Googled a picture of his ex, who was poised, blond, stunning, and dripping in expensive jewels. He might not want to be married to her anymore, but she was still the type he was used to. Elise would never offer him leftover wine and spaghetti sauce from a jar.
Screw it! Valerie rolled her eyes, impatient with herself. She’d taken this step, made this plan, and she might as well see it through. At six twenty-seven, she turned on the burners under the pasta water and the pan for the spaghetti sauce. Then she ran into her bedroom and changed into a green and blue patterned dress that was on the slinky side and looked sort of hostess-like.