Now Emily’s vision tunneled back to a memory nearly twenty years old. As much as she denied having any recollection of the man…she did. One in particular: The morning he walked out of the house and her life for good. Flashes of her confused five-year-old face looking up to a tall figure—whom even at that young age, Emily knew she loved to pieces—cascaded her mind. Her tiny arms gripping his leg in an attempt to make him stay invaded her thoughts like an unwelcomed guest. Though she tried—and Lord knows she tried—she couldn’t hold on tight enough. He was too strong for her little body to manage. She could still hear the torturous sound of her mother and sister’s cries as he drunkenly cursed each of them with words her fragile ears shouldn’t have heard.
Clinging to a teddy bear, Emily followed behind, crying out for him, as he stumbled to the front door. It was a sunny day—that’s another thing she remembered. The sun shone upon him, silhouetting his body like the angel she believed him to be, as he walked away and got into his car. She recalled thinking he would come back. He wouldn’t though. No matter how many times she sat with pretend tea out among her dolls, awaiting his arrival, he never showed up. That’s all she did—waited for someone who would never return. Gone. Vanished like a ghost. The sickening memory brought a fresh set of tears to her already soaked eyes.
However, those disturbed memories had nothing to do with her reasoning for not wanting to rush into marriage. She was scared. Actually, terrified was more like it. She needed to live with Dillon first before making any decision. At least right now, that’s the way she felt. Looking back, maybe she should have moved in with him from the beginning, but she couldn’t change the past. Nevertheless, today it came knocking on her door in many wicked forms. Though she wouldn’t allow her guilt for what she had engaged in last night to cloud her into accepting Dillon’s proposal, surely, it had her questioning her moral judgment—drunk or not.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with my father,” she whispered, staring up into his brown eyes. “I just need a few days to think this through.”
Pressing his lips into a hard line, Dillon nodded tightly. “Alright, I’ll give you the time you need.”
“Are you mad at me?” she asked, more tears spilling down her cheeks.
He shook his head and gently wiped the tears from her face. “I’m not mad at you, Emily. Shocked and confused, yes, but not mad.”
Dillon pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, her body shaking against his as she sobbed a little more. She didn’t want to face his parents—particularly his mother—nor did she want to walk back through the restaurant. The embarrassment of it all was simply too overwhelming for her. Somehow feeling her anxiety, Dillon handed her a ticket for the valet and walked her to an exit on the side of the building.
Stepping out into a small alley, she reluctantly turned back to face him. Holding her gaze, Dillon hesitated a moment before heading back into the restaurant to retrieve her purse. His eyes held a sadness that Emily knew she had caused, and his once confident shoulders hung low. The man she had come to know as a self-assured soul lost something on this particular Sunday afternoon in late August. Her heart sank further than she could’ve ever imagined. The pain-stricken look in his eyes would forever be embedded in her memory. As he closed the door behind him, Emily’s palms felt slick with sweat, her eyes rimmed pink from crying, and her body ached with a deep sadness of its own.
A few days…I just need a few days, and then I’ll let him know…
Chapter Twelve
Out of My System
The words read simple; the design elegantly understated. Gavin’s office was completely silent, except for the steady, rhythmic rapping sound that echoed while he tapped the letter-pressed card on the surface of his desk again and again. He had lost count of the amount of times he’d glanced at it throughout the day.
Before us lies the open road…a future filled with timeless love…
Please join us as we
Emily M. Cooper & Dillon R. Parker
Celebrate Our Engagement
Saturday, the Twenty-Third of September
Two thousand and twelve
Six o’clock in the evening
The Diamond Room
30 West Fifty-Ninth Street
Hosted by Joan and Henry Parker
RSVP 212-981-1275 by September Fifteenth
The sound of the invitation being tapped restlessly against Gavin’s desk wasn’t the only sound that hung in the room. However, unless someone was standing close enough to him, they might not have been able to hear them. The sounds—yeah, those would be his annihilation of his heart and shallow breathing. Gavin was in no way surprised, but this was proof that she was going through with it.
Gavin heard the news a few days prior when his phone rang. Dillon’s voice had been thrilled on the other end while he announced his engagement, his words sucking the hope, along with his breath, straight out of Gavin’s lungs. During his brief conversation with Dillon, Gavin had felt like the Jekyll-and-Hyde, considering he had to act happy for them. Knowing his tone had to hold some semblance of excitement, he’d played it off better than he’d expected as he congratulated Dillon. After hanging up, it had taken every atom of self-control not to throw his phone against the wall.
It didn’t matter though; the blade was already shoved deep into his heart, mutilating it like a butcher.
Gavin was so focused on staring at the invitation that he almost didn’t notice Colton shuffle into his office. Lifting his head from the torturous announcement, Gavin peered at him. Colton was aware of what was going on and wore an expression of concern. Gavin knew what he was going to say, and for fuck’s sake, he didn’t want to hear it right then.