Chapter 7
I walked the short trail from my house to the park. I didn’t want my car left sitting in the parking lot for everyone to see. It wouldn’t take much for them to realize Beau had been parked there earlier and now my empty car was in its place. No one expected the preacher’s daughter to sin but they sure would love to catch me at it. Not that this was a sin exactly. Well, lying to my parents was, but Beau was Sawyer’s cousin and my . . . friend. I was pretty sure some of the places Beau had touched me and kissed me this afternoon fell into the sin category but I couldn’t bring myself to care. By the time I reached the park I’d almost convinced myself of our innocence.
The park was deserted except for one beat-up Chevy truck. I ran to the passenger’s side and jumped in before someone could drive up and catch me. Beau was smiling at me, and my heartbeat picked up its pace.
“I really like it when you wear sundresses,” he said before cranking up the truck and pulling out onto the road. I glanced down at the short hem on the baby-blue sundress I’d picked out and a tingle of anticipation ran through me.
“I’m not going back through town. Come over here,” he said, patting the spot beside him. I scooted over as close as I could without my legs touching the stick shift.
“That’s not close enough. Straddle it,” he said. I glanced up at him and he took his eyes off the road just a moment to meet my gaze. My heart did a little fluttery thing against my chest. I moved a leg over the stick shift and scooted over until my thigh was up against his. I was suddenly light headed as his hand rested on the stick shift between my knees.
“How late do I get to keep you tonight?” he asked, breaking into my thoughts.
“Oh, um, they didn’t say but then I don’t normally go out this late. I told them I was going to a midnight movie.”
He shifted gears then rested his hand on my thigh. I was beginning to understand why he liked sundresses.
“Good, we’ve got time to go to the bay,” he replied.
I hadn’t been to the bay in years. Sawyer never wanted to drive out that way. He said the water was nasty but I always thought it was beautiful.
“I figured it would be best if we didn’t hang out around here.”
I nodded because I understood his meaning. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact he was doing things he shouldn’t be with his cousin’s girlfriend. The thought reminded me of the image I’d had of Beau the past few years. He played games to his advantage. The sexy rebel who took what he wanted. Except that image no longer seemed accurate. He’d held me today without question as I cried and slobbered all over him. He’d stopped working to comfort me. Someone with selfish motives didn’t do that. Besides, if what we were doing meant he had a black heart then I had one too.
“You’re frowning. What’s going through your head?” he asked.
I thought about lying to him, since I was becoming a regular old liar, but I couldn’t lie to him too. This was something I needed to talk about before . . . well, before we went all the way.
“How I know I’m doing something wrong and I feel guilty but neither of those things matter enough to make me stop.”
Beau’s hand left my thigh and returned to the stick shift. I studied his large tanned hand and wondered how it was fair for someone to be given all perfect body parts. His grip on the stick was so tight the tanned color of his skin paled some. I wanted to reach out and soothe him, make the tension go away. But we had to talk about this. He didn’t say anything else or make a move to touch me. A sick knot of dread settled in my stomach as I waited to see if he was going to turn around and take me back. I’d reminded him of how wrong what we were doing was and he wasn’t dealing with it well. He loved Sawyer and I’d never imagined he’d do something like this to his cousin. I wasn’t any better. I was supposed to love Sawyer too and I did but not the way I should. As the silence stretched on I waited for Beau to turn the truck around and take me back to the park, but he kept heading toward the bay. After a few minutes, when I was sure he wasn’t going to turn around, I relaxed and waited.
Beau pulled off a dirt road, and through the overgrown grass and weeds I could see a clearing up ahead. It was complete with a pier. Beau turned his truck and backed it up so the back end was facing the water.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“A piece of property a friend of mine owns. He bought it to build on when he gets out of college,” he replied and reached for the door to open it.
I started to scoot over so I could get out on the other side when his hand touched my leg, causing me to tremble before glancing back at him.
“Wait here. I’m going to fix it up back there then get you and carry you back. The grass is high and there could be snakes in it.”
I nodded and watched as he jumped down into the tall grass. The snakes bothered me some, but the idea of him carrying me was causing other ideas to form in my head that kept me occupied while I waited. Within minutes he was back standing outside the open truck door. He crooked his finger for me to come to him. I slid over until I was close enough for him to grab me under my legs and carry me. The moment he picked me up I suddenly worried I might be too heavy. I tried not to dwell on my weight but I didn’t normally have guys picking me up and carrying me around. Luckily my weight didn’t seem to be an issue as he carried me around the back of the truck and lifted me up into the bed of it with ease.
He’d spread out several quilts and a couple pillows. A cooler sat in the far corner. I crawled up to the middle and sat down. Beau stood at the tailgate watching me. The shadows from the moonlight shaded his eyes so I couldn’t be sure what he was thinking.
“Are you coming?” I asked, almost scared of his answer.
“Yeah, I got a little sidetracked by the view,” he replied.
A shiver of anticipation ran through me as he crawled up into the truck bed. Kneeling in front of me he reached out and took my right foot then laid it against his jean-clad thigh. Fascinated, I watched him as he unsnapped my sandal and placed it beside the cooler. He placed my foot back down on the blanket then reached for my left foot and with the same slow, careful attention he removed my other shoe. Once both my feet were bare he lifted his gaze to meet my eyes.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I like your pink toenails,” he replied, glancing back down at my feet. My silly heart thumped wildly in my chest and I let out a nervous laugh.
“It’s cotton candy. The color is, I mean.” I couldn’t even make coherent sentences.
“I like cotton candy. Those toes of yours just may be sweeter though.”
His warm hand squeezed the foot closest to him as he moved to sit down beside me. Neither of us spoke as we stared out over the still water. I’d never been so nervous in my life.
Beau shifted beside me and then laid back on the pillows behind us. I turned slightly to peer down at him. Did he want me to lay down too? Tucking one arm behind his head and stretching the other out beside him Beau grinned up at me as if he could read my mind.
“Come here,” he said.
I quickly scooted over and curled up beside him, resting my head on his chest. There was a peace in his arms I’d never experienced with Sawyer. It was as if I’d come home after years of searching.
“I love Sawyer, Ash,” Beau said quietly into the night. He sounded as if he was trying to convince me of this. “My whole life I’ve never envied him anything. Not his father. Not his mother. Not his money. Not his athletic abilities.” He stopped and took a ragged breath. My heart ached for him. I squeezed the hand resting on his stomach into a fist to keep from reaching up and soothing him like a child. “Until the day I watched from across the football field as he picked you up and kissed you on the mouth. It wasn’t your first kiss. I might have just been fourteen years old but I could tell I’d somehow been left out of a secret. I wanted to plant my fist in his face and rip you out of his arms. As I took a step toward him your eyes met mine and I saw the silent pleading for forgiveness or acceptance. I wasn’t sure which. All I knew was you were Sawyer’s now. My best friend was gone. I envied him and hated him for the first time that day. He’d finally won the one prize I thought was mine.”
I closed my eyes against the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I wanted to tell him how I’d never felt faint when Sawyer kissed me or how the earth didn’t move under his touch. Instead I stayed silent, knowing I couldn’t. Even though it was Beau I wanted, I knew I could never have him. These last two weeks were all we had. Sawyer would come home and I would be with him again. There was no other option.
I turned over and leaned up on my elbow until I was staring down into his somber eyes. I could feel his heart beating fast underneath my hand.
“You were my best friend, Beau. You never treated me or looked at me any way but as a friend. Once I started to change and we all began to notice the opposite sex you never seemed to care that I was a girl. Sawyer did. Maybe because he hadn’t been my partner in crime. Maybe because the connection I had with him hadn’t been the same as the one I had with you. But he saw me as a girl. I think deep down I’d been waiting on you but when he kissed me, I knew it would never be you. I wasn’t the one for you.”
Beau reached up and cupped the side of my face with his hand.
“I was very aware that you were a girl, Ash. I was just scared because the one person in the world who knew every secret I’d ever had also happened to be the most beautiful girl I’d ever known. My feelings for you were scary as hell.”
I leaned down and kissed the frown between his brows.
“Right now. Right here. I’m yours. Not Sawyer’s. He isn’t who I want. Right now, all I want is you.” I chose my words carefully so we both understood my meaning.
He took my waist and shifted his body so I was completely on top of him. I lowered my mouth to his and sighed as his hands found the hem of my dress and the warm pressure of his palms ran up my thighs.
Tonight I would give myself to Beau because I wanted to. He was the town’s bad boy and I was the preacher’s daughter. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
“Ash, I want you. Bad, very, very bad. But you deserve better than this.”
I bent back down over him and kissed him again before pulling back enough to whisper, “It doesn’t get any better than this, Beau.”
His hands cupped my bottom and shifted me so I could feel the pressure of his obvious arousal against the warmth between my thighs.
“Please, Beau,” I cried out, not sure what I was begging for but knowing I needed more. His hands gripped my waist.
“Hold onto me, baby. I’m going to take care of you.” The raspy need in his voice only made me more desperate.
His h*ps rocked against mine one more time, causing waves of pleasure to pulse through my body from the friction between my legs. Beau reached up and cupped his hand behind my head and pulled me down until my mouth covered his. This was what I needed. This connection. A raw, needy, honest attraction. Not something controlled and careful. I needed reckless.
Beau’s tongue slid between my lips and began to taste every dark corner of my mouth like I was some exotic treat he wanted to savor. This was the feeling I’d always longed for. In one swift move Beau rolled me over and hovered over me before pressing a trail of kisses across my chest. I needed more. Wiggling I reached for his hair and tugged on the short strands impatiently. A low chuckle rumbled against Beau’s chest before a warm hand slid between my legs and slowly made its way up my thigh.
I couldn’t keep an anxious sigh from escaping my mouth.
“You’re beautiful, Ash,” Beau whispered as his hand reached its destination. One long finger traced the outside edge of my panties and I whimpered, wanting more. “I love it when you make those sweet little noises. Drives me crazy,” he murmured against my neck.
When Beau’s warmth left me I started to protest until both his hands slipped under my sundress and his fingers slid into the sides of my panties and began pulling them down. I watched his face as I gasped for air. The excitement and need was making it hard to take deep breaths. There was a look of wonder and almost worshipful gaze in Beau’s eyes as he pulled my panties off then folded them and placed them beside him. Finally he lifted his eyes to meet mine.
“Are you sure?” The restraint in his voice was obvious. He would stop if I wanted him to. I trusted him. Completely.
“Yes. Very sure,” I replied, pulling one leg up so that my sundress slipped down my leg and bunched at my waist.
Beau’s eyes went wide with excitement. Slowly he reached his hand out to touch my knee before moving the rough tips of his fingers down my thigh. His chest was rising and falling with each quick, short breath he took, until his finger slid over my warmth.
“Ash,” his voice constricted.
“Please, Beau,” I begged, needing him to move his fingers. Once he slipped one then two inside me I lost all thought and cried out. I didn’t know what I was saying but I knew I was begging him. I didn’t want this to ever end. He began pumping his fingers in and out as his free hand pushed my other leg back, opening me up completely to his view. The naughtiness of what we were doing sent me over the edge and just like earlier today my world shattered into a million colorful intense wonderful tremors.
Beau
I knew it was wrong but I just didn’t care. Not now. I kept my eyes on Ashton as she gasped for air and I discarded my jeans. She was all that mattered. I had to have her. The heavy-lidded eyes that stared up at me slowly widened in excitement as she watched me strip down.
My hands trembled as I reached into the pocket of my jeans to grab the condom I’d gotten out of my glove compartment. God, what was she doing to me?
“Can I do it?” Ashton asked in a husky, satisfied voice that only made my c*ck throb harder. I’d made her feel that good. I’d put that tone in her voice.
“What, the condom?” I asked, holding myself over her as I went to kiss her swollen lips. I needed a taste. I’d never be able to move on from this. I couldn’t give this up.
“Yes,” she replied against my mouth.
Chuckling I slipped the small foil package into her hand. “Only because I can’t tell you no. Just do it quick, please.”
“Does it hurt? I mean, you know, to put one on?” she asked as I moved back, kneeling between her legs.
“Not the way you think. I’ll enjoy it. I promise.”
A naughty twinkle in her eyes had me groaning in frustration. Damn, she was going to drive me crazy. She reached out and the first touch of her soft hands almost had me losing it right there. I wanted to watch her but I knew I couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to hold back. Closing my eyes tightly I fisted my hands and waited, trying hard not to think about what she was doing.
Once the condom was completely on I snapped my eyes back open and grabbed both of Ashton’s hands, pressing them up over her head with one of mine and panted while staring down at her.
“Give me a minute,” I explained in a tight voice, trying desperately to hold it together. I had to calm down. She needed me to go slow.
“Okay,” she whispered.
I buried my face in the crook of her neck and drew in a long breath. This was my Ash. This moment was one I’d fantasized about for years. It was something I never thought I’d have. Another tremble went through me and Ashton turned her head to kiss the side of my face.
“I want this, Beau. I want this with you.”
Those were definitely words I’d never expected to hear.
Shifting, I released her hands and held myself over her with each hand planted firmly beside her head. I couldn’t speak. Words were impossible. I kissed her softly before lowering my body until I was in position.
Her soft gasp as I pressed inside her tight warmth caused me to pause. Fuck, this was hard. She was so tight, so hot, I needed in.
When she lifted her h*ps to press me further inside I shuddered and sank in until I felt the barrier I knew was going to be painful for her. I didn’t want to hurt her.
“It’s okay, Beau, please don’t stop,” she said, rocking against me.
Covering her mouth with mine I pressed further with one hard thrust. The small cry against my mouth caused me to still instantly. I began kissing her gently. Anything to get her mind off the pain. She slowly started to rock against me and I knew any restraint I had was gone. I was inside Ashton. Finally.