Amber slings her duffel bag over her shoulder, something akin to her own regret dimming her eyes. “But it’s okay, baby. I’m just as much to blame as you are for the mess we created by doing this. We all are, Ryder included. But no matter what, I’ll always love you, Brock. Even if my love changes along the way, it’ll forever remain pure. You were the first man to emotionally open me up, the first to teach me that love isn’t always ugly. And you might think I can’t see it, but I can. You’re beating yourself up for allowing me and Ryder to be together. From the second I lay next to you in bed last night, you haven’t stopped.”
She closes the door and circles the Hummer, her chin jutted out for me to open my window as she approaches the driver’s side. “So stop, Brock.” She pokes her head into the vehicle, her lips landing on my cheek softly. “Stop beating yourself up. I forgive you for betraying the trust you should’ve had for our love, and now I just need you to forgive me for doing the same.”
She doesn’t wait for me to respond. No. Instead, she turns and heads for the elevators, her statement leaving my heart scattered with nothing but the skeletal remains of my regret as she walks away. I step out into the bitter air of late November, the wind lashing at my skin as I watch the leaves chase one another across the parking lot. By the time I reach the elevators I’m at a loss for words, the ride up to my floor silent, chilling.
As the elevator doors part, I reach for Amber’s hand and pull her to my chest, my arms swallowing her in my embrace like it’s the last time I’ll ever get to. I need this girl. Need her more than my next breath, my next heartbeat. I need her as much as a dying man needs his meds, her very being the chemo to the cancer that’s infested who I used to be. With Amber, I’m whole again, a man who feels as complete as he’s ever known himself to be, a king worthy of the throne his queen’s set him upon.
Though not a single word is uttered between us as we make our way down my hall, I can tell Amber feels me, knows how much I love her. The only thing I fear as we round the corner to my condo is she’ll stop loving me, my allowing her to be with Ryder again no different from signing her over to him.
Trying to push those diseased thoughts from my mind, I fish my keys from my pocket but stop short the second I lift my hand to the doorknob. The lock’s been tampered with, the door frame bent, nearly cracked to pieces. Someone’s forced their way in. I immediately reach for my gun, only to realize I left the fucking thing in the glove compartment of my Hummer.
Amber lets out a gasp as I rest my hand on her waist, moving her behind me. “Holy shit. Someone’s broken in, Brock. We have to get out of here and call the cops.”
“No,” I say through a whisper, gently pushing her farther back. If someone’s still in my place, I’m catching the dick, dead set on letting him know I was the last motherfucker he should’ve played this game with. I listen intently for any sounds of movement before I nudge my boot against the door. It creaks open, a piece of molding clanking onto the wood floor as I peer into the eerie silence of the entryway. “We’re not calling the cops. I’m going in and you’re waiting downstairs.”
“What do you mean we’re not calling the cops?” she asks, her tone bordering on hysteria. “And if you’re going in there, I’m coming with you.”
I spin on her and grasp her shoulders, giving her a light shake. “The hell you are,” I spit, almost losing it. Her eyes dilate with fear. A fear not caused by the dire situation but instead born of my asshole move. I swallow back bile, a grenade exploding my heart with regret from the petrified look on her face. Trying with everything I am to keep my cool, I temper down, loosening my grip on her shoulders as I drop a kiss onto the crown of her head. “I’m so sorry, Ber. You know I’d never intentionally hurt you, but I need you to listen to me, okay?”
She nods, a noticeable chill running up her spine as her gaze whips between me and the doorway.
“You’re my only concern right now. The only fucking one. For that, you are going downstairs to wait in my Hummer until I call for you. Otherwise, you’re not allowed to move, you hear me?”
She goes to speak, but I cut her off before she can say a word.
“The answer’s no.” I seize her cheeks and press a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t argue with me, because it’s not gonna work. No matter what you say, you’re not winning this one, Amber. You’re just not. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go in there with me, understand?”
Another nod, this one reluctant as I shove my keys in her hand. She stares at me a second then turns, disappearing around the corner, her soft cries echoing in her wake as I try to get my head together for what might await me inside.
With Amber safe, I enter my condo and instinctively pull open the hallway coat closet, reaching for my twelve-gauge that’s Velcroed to the wall. I press the gun, already cocked and loaded, to my shoulder and inch forward, moving quietly from room to room, closet to closet, eventually ending up out on the balcony. I have yet to find anything disturbed. I recover my tracks and hit each room a second and third time, the tension bleeding from my muscles ebbing some as I make my way back into the living room, scanning the space for anything I might’ve missed. Nothing’s been touched, broken, or stolen. Not even the few grand I keep in my safe. Right down to the imprints in the carpet—save for my own footsteps—my place is in the same pristine condition it was in when we’d left for Atlantic City.