“What you’re asking…it won’t help. It will only make things worse,” he said hoarsely. “It will awaken a beast that’s been fitfully sleeping since the day I left California. I’ve built a life here…away from you…and it has taken every shred of self-control to keep from dragging you back to Colorado with me, damn the consequences! And now you show up, begging me to fuck you so you can forget me?”
Shameful, hot tears coursed down her cheeks. The truth was certainly uglier when verbalized than when hidden behind private justifications but she held his gaze without flinching. “Yes,” she admitted, not bothering to wipe away her tears. Let him see how much she hurt inside to ask. Let him know nothing she said or did came without cost. “I’m only here until tomorrow. My flight leaves at 10 a.m. We have twelve hours to get each other out of our systems. Then, I’m going to board that plane, sore and bruised in every way, and I’m going to forget anything ever happened between us, now or in the past. You will do the same. I will marry Scott and you will find someone you can love without restrictions. Someday, we might even be able to face one another as we should…as brother and sister.”
“You’re living in a dreamland,” he said bitterly. “There is no one for me but you.”
She closed her eyes. “There has to be. There will be. But not as long as you have me in your heart.”
“This is —”
“The only way,” she cut in, more sure than ever before. She advanced, resolve emboldening her step. Her nerves were suddenly calm, but excitement fluttered in her belly. She held his stare, murmuring with promise. “Time is wasting, my brother. And I need you. Now.”
6
Dillon had balls of steel to walk up to her as if nothing had happened, wearing a grin fit to bamboozle even the most stoic of women as if she’d just fall into his arms because he deigned to talk to her.
Screw that.
She was tired of the men in her life treating her as if she were too stupid to think for herself or assuming she didn’t have an opinion about what was going on.
She had plenty of opinions about the situation and right about now, she was ready to share them with the first unlucky fool to cross her path.
Maybe it was all those years of squelching her feelings, hopes or dreams that it’d somehow become normal to simply nod like a bleating sheep and follow wherever she was led but those times were over. Penny didn’t know if the change was attributed to the fact that her heart had been stomped into a million pieces along with her dignity or she was simply fed up with everything going wrong in her life but she wasn’t going to sit back and swallow her feelings any longer.
She wanted answers, damn it.
Everything spiraled back to Isabel and so far, Dillon had only shared half the story. What the hell had happened in the Buchanan family to create such a psychic fracture? She knew the barest of details: Isabel had killed herself by doing a swan dive from the twins’ penthouse and she’d been pregnant when she died. But she didn’t know what the twins’ involvement was or why Dillon hadn’t simply apologized for being an ass and repaired his relationship with his father. How had one incident torn apart the lives of so many people?
It was plain to her that each of the Buchanans were suffering from an overabundance of pride, which had festered into ugly wounds in different ways.
Was it her problem that the Buchanans had never learned how to have a simple conversation? Communication, people. Try it sometime. Emboldened by her fresh infusion of courage and chutzpah, Penny felt more in control of her life than she had in years.
For so long she’d sat behind a desk, hoping and wishing someone would notice her — but not just anyone — someone dashing, handsome and just a bit wicked. Her Papa had always warned her to be careful what she wished for because God had a funny sense of humor. She’d been star-struck by the twins but Dillon had knocked her sidewise. She’d not only been noticed by one man with all those qualities, but three! Talk about overkill. And her life had changed in an instant. From the clothes she wore to the way she wore her hair, nothing seemed remotely recognizable from the outside; however, Dillon had seen that she was more than a doll to dress up and play with from time to time and that was something the twins had failed to recognize.
But there was one thing all three Buchanans shared in common and it was something that likely, neither realized or would admit: deep down, they were all good men. If there was a kernel of goodness inside them, with the right encouragement, it could bloom and grow. But how was she supposed to make that happen? And even if she could, should she? Maybe she ought to cut ties completely. She could give back the money and break the contract. Penny stilled. Was she ready to make that bold of a statement? Was she ready to completely walk away from everything associated with the Buchanans? A part of her offered a weary yes but the other part said no. At the moment she didn’t know which part was stronger or why. All she was certain of was that she needed more answers before she made her decision and if no one seemed eager to share details, she’d just have to find them on her own.
#
Dillon was in the worst mood of his life.
It’d been a mistake to see Penny again — what had he been thinking? — and now she was in his head. Everywhere he turned, his brain played tricks on him. First, he thought he caught a whiff of her perfume, then he thought he saw her walking by but each time strangers stared back at him. He was losing his mind.
He shouldn’t have said the things he had to Penny when he saw her at the park. If it were safe to say she coaxed the best out of him, it was certainly fair to say she had the equal and opposite effect on him as well. She’d floated into his life unexpectedly, a ripe vision in a blue designer dress, and she’d put her stamp on everything he’d touched since. He couldn’t blame his brothers for wanting her —hell, he’d taken one look and knew in that instant that he would have to have her — but he chafed at the realization that Penny had stayed with the twins even after everything had gone down in the Hamptons. He knew she was conflicted by her arrangement so why did she choose to stay? The right thing to do would’ve been to simply ask her point blank but his mind had turned to mush and a jealous rage had taken over making it impossible to think straight much less put together a persuasive argument.
And frankly, what the hell did he care that she was still shagging his brothers? It was her business, not his.
Because it did. Holy hell, it bothered him more than a little. The knowledge made him want to beat someone to a bloody pulp — mainly his brothers.