Aria blinked at him in surprise. “You can’t leave him, Jack.”
“I can’t leave you either, not unprotected…”
“William...”
“You will need more than just William. Braith is going to look for you and we will have to get far from him as fast as we can. I’m asking this of you, and I will follow it through with you.”
“And return after I’m dead?”
Jack shook his head. “No, I will never return. Even if time and distance ease his suffering and rage, he will still kill me if I return.”
Aria bit on her lip, her head bowed, she felt as if she were being crushed. She couldn’t find the right words, not anymore. Ashby rubbed her hair in an awkward attempt to soothe her further.
“I know it’s going to be difficult Aria but you have to act normal around him.” She blinked up at Jack; her lashes were sticky from the tears coating them. “If he suspects anything he’ll take you and he’ll never look back.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to do that.”
“I know this is a lot to ask of you, I understand that I can’t fathom what you are going through, what you will have to endure, but you are one of the strongest people I know, human or vampire, and I know that you can do this. I have absolute faith in you.”
She was glad someone did, because she sure as hell didn’t. Not about this. How on earth was she going to act normal around Braith? How the hell was she going to hide her misery and pretend that everything was fine, when her heart was shattering and her body was already aching with loss? How was she going to look him in the eye knowing that she was going to break his heart by leaving him again?
He would never forgive her. Even if it was for the best, even if it was for the good of so many, he would never get over her abandonment of him again. He would hate her. That realization was even worse than their time together coming to an end.
“He’ll never forgive me either,” she whispered, giving voice to her thoughts. “What if you’re wrong? What if he loses it completely?”
“Then we’ll deal with the consequences of that when it happens. Whether we bring you back or he steps down…”
“People could be killed before then.”
“I don’t think he’ll go that route again Aria. Last time he was confused. He didn’t know what was going on inside himself and his pride wouldn’t let him go after you. This time he’ll know, and once he calms down he’ll understand that this is for the best. You’ll leave him a note...”
“A note,” she laughed humorlessly, as if that would be enough. As if a simple piece of paper would be enough to convey her regret over leaving him. How could she put her sorrow into words? How could she possibly write down how much faith she has in him or how she knows that he will be the best leader for all those depending on him? She didn’t think they had enough paper for that. Even worse, Jack would have to write it for her.
“And he’ll come to realize that though it’s not fair, it is for the best. For everyone.”
“Maybe they would accept me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry Aria,” Ashby squeezed her shoulders, pulling her against him. “But that will never happen. Saul and Barnaby have already inquired about your relationship. Braith believes he can keep the true nature of your relationship from them, but they will eventually figure it out. They’re on our side for now, but human and vampire bloodlines are not to be mixed, the children are shunned if they are human, tormented if they’re not…”
“Children?”
“It never ends well for them Aria,” Jack told her.
“There have been children?” she demanded stunned by this revelation.
“Yes, though if it is a blood slave carrying the child, she is usually killed before she can give birth.” Horror shuddered through her body, her hand instinctively rested on her stomach. “The vampire children that have been created are relegated to a life nearly as bad as the human servants within the palace. I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t a good number of half-breed vampire children amongst the troops in that cave; a lot of them left soon after my father took over.”
“Children,” Aria breathed awed by the possibility. She had never given much thought to children, she’d assumed she probably wouldn’t live long enough to have them, and she certainly didn’t want them exposed to the hardships of her life. She hadn’t thought a child with Braith was even a possibility, but now…
Jack knelt before her. “You cannot allow your relationship to progress Aria.”
Everything inside her shriveled up like a plant without water. Fresh tears fell. It had all been right there in front of her: happiness, security, a family. And now it was gone, all of it, just gone. She felt empty.
Jack took hold of her cheeks, cradling them. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to ask of you, and this isn’t fair, you deserve a happy ending, you both do, but…”
She grasped hold of his hands, squeezing them firmly as she leaned toward him. “But so do many others… I know… I get it,” she whispered.
Jack’s steel gray eyes were intense. “That’s not what I was going to say. You know well enough that the world isn’t fair, that bad things happen to good people but you’re the only one that can do this.”
She released his hands and looked away. The lake shimmered in the light of the sun, it was beautiful, but she found no joy in it. She didn’t think she’d find joy in anything for a long time if ever again. She didn’t know how she was going to do this but she knew she had to. Jack was right, Braith had to lead. He was strong, he was powerful, he was bred for leadership and they would all follow him.