It’s sort of a dickhead thing to do, but for the sake of the experiment, Nanette plays along until park security stops them and gives them a lecture about “ruining the magic for little kids.”
Ned and Nanette nod respectfully and promise not to photo-bomb any more pictures before they are let go.
They sit down on a bench near the Haunted Mansion, and she realizes both their shirts are soaked with sweat when she catches him glancing down at her pink bra, which is now visible through her white tank top.
“That was cool,” he says.
“Yeah.”
“I think I’m in love with you, Nanette. Is that crazy to say?”
Nanette looks down at her lap. It suddenly just got harder to pretend. Ned’s in love with a fake version of Nanette. It would be funny if it weren’t so depressing.
“Want to go into the Haunted Mansion? It’s probably air-conditioned,” she says.
“Okay,” he says, but he sounds confused.
There isn’t much of a line, so they are inside within ten or so minutes. They go through the creepy room that expands while an evil voice talks about death and ghouls, and then they are in the little car sitting shoulder-to-shoulder while ghosts dance around them.
Nanette wishes that the ride would last forever so that she will never have to continue the conversation she put off outside.
After seeing the hitchhiking ghost sitting between them in the mirror at the end of the ride, they stroll out into the heat again.
“I meant it,” Ned says. “I really do care about you a lot. I think I love you and I know you’ve had a tough year and are working through some things, but I’m okay with that and I’m willing to rearrange my college plans if it means we can give this thing a go long term. I’m serious.”
And Ned is serious.
Nanette can tell when she looks in his eyes.
She swallows once and then says, “Let’s just have fun here and now, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m all for fun,” he says, but the tone is wounded.
She doesn’t want to hurt him, even if Alex would have called him a pretty boy.
She doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
But what to do without blowing her cover?
“Nanette and Ned have to get to the meeting place,” she says. “It’s almost time.”
They make their way back to the entrance, and when she sees Shannon and company, she sprints toward the safety of the herd.
That night in the hotel room, Nanette tells Shannon about Ned’s proposal.
“It’s sweet!” Shannon says.
“He was serious, though.”
“He’s a boy. He has no idea what he’s feeling or talking about. Relax. It’s just all talk.”
Shannon’s never known a boy like Alex, Nanette thinks, and then says, “So do you think Nanette should break up with Ned?”
“Why would you do that now?”
“She doesn’t love him the same way.”
“So?”
“She doesn’t want to lead him on.”
“My god, Nanette, it’s high school. Stop being so serious! Do you think I want to marry Nick Radcliff? Spend the rest of my life with him? Fuck no! But I’ll happily fool around with him for the next two months or so. A girl has sexual desires that need to be attended to, after all. Senior-year summer. It’s going to be hot!”
“So Nick Radcliff is just a fuck buddy to you?”
“Of course. We both know the deal. We’re having some fun now, but when we go to college, we’re free again. Ned’s a romantic, which is probably why he fell for you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You believe in stuff, Nanette. Some boys like that.”
“Ned isn’t all that deep, Shannon.”
She looks at Nanette for a second and says, “Are you?”
Nanette opens her mouth to answer, but no words come.
32
He Smiles Like a Happy Wolf
Ned becomes more insistent about “loving” Nanette and—because of the experiment—she tries to give him what he wants, allowing him to take her further and further sexually.
She closes her eyes and pretends he’s Alex when he begins to do what Alex never did to her, and she justifies it in her mind by saying she should have done it with Alex before he died, which makes no sense when she thinks about it too much, so she tries not to.
And then Nanette isn’t a virgin anymore.
It hurts more than she thought it would but is over before she knows it. It’s the most anticlimactic thing she has ever done, and it has absolutely nothing to do with love or pleasure for her.
Ned says it’s the greatest night of his life.
They do it in his bedroom, which smells vaguely of sweat.
His parents are at the movies.
His nine-year-old brother, Seth, is in the basement playing video games.
Ned rolls on a condom, pushes his way in and out of her for a minute or so—panting the whole time—before he flexes all his muscles, becomes stiff as a board, and then collapses and thanks Nanette repeatedly while she struggles to breathe. Having never been in this position before, she doesn’t know when it’s okay to ask him to get off her.
When he finally rolls off, they discover that she bled all over, so they quickly strip the bed and wash the sheets before his parents see. Nanette has to teach Ned how to use the washing machine and dryer, because his mother has always done his laundry, so he has no idea what to do. He smiles like a happy wolf as he watches her pretreat the bloodstains and pour the detergent and set the machine for sheets.
They play video games with Ned’s brother until the sheets are dry, at which point Nanette makes the bed alone and begins to cry in her pretend boyfriend’s bedroom.