Was she trying to throw me off-balance, or did she actually want to negotiate this ahead of time? All right, it wasn't the craziest thing ever. If full-on face sucking was going to make her too uncomfortable, then we could promise to keep things on the chaste side. But damn, I'd been turning this plan over and over in my head for ages, and it never occurred to me that this might be an issue.
And now, I couldn't stop thinking about kissing her. Not just a dry peck on the lips, either.
Maybe that was what she wanted. My eyes narrowed as I looked at her, trying to figure out what she was playing at. Did she think I'd offer up more money if it meant having my tongue in her mouth?
Would I?
"Is that going to make a difference?" I said, finally.
Her smile was full of secrets and promise, or maybe she was just toying with me. I could never be sure. "If it wasn't going to make a difference, I wouldn't be asking. This isn't a zero-sum thing. I can always ask for more concessions. See what you're willing to do for me, in exchange for what I'm willing to do for you." She shifted slightly in her seat. "Business, Mr. Chase. You might be familiar with it."
"All right, fine." I circled the island, coming closer to her, watching for a reaction. She always seemed more confident when we had some distance between us. "So, if you really think it'll be that bad to kiss me - what do you want in return?"
She laughed, color rising in her cheeks. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. I'm sure it's not going to be unpleasant, but it's...intimate." Clearing her throat lightly, she went on, eyes still fixed on my face. "Generally, when people have to be intimate with strangers, there's some kind of concession made."
I really hadn't expected that. Snickering, I slid onto the stool that was furthest away from her. But I was still close enough to notice the minute changes in her body language. "I figured you'd be offended it I brought up that comparison," I said. "Anyway, it's not really like that at all. If anything, this is more like what you want to do for a living. Just acting. Do actors usually get paid more if they have to kiss?"
"Actors don't kiss with tongue," she said, bluntly. Her ears were burning, but she wasn't going to show her embarrassment voluntarily.
Smiling, I leaned on the counter. "You're not watching the right movies. But, okay, fine. You want to put a price on it. Go ahead."
Jenna folded her arms tighter. There was annoyance and disappointment in her eyes. She'd been half-expecting me to offer her a test drive, and she hated that I didn't. She hated it because it meant she was wrong about me, but also because there was a tiny part of her that wanted to.
Maybe not so tiny. She glanced at my mouth, and I was pretty sure it wasn't just because I couldn't stop worrying at the side of my thumb with my teeth.
"If you're curious about my tongue, I can provide references on that, as well." I grinned.
Rolling her eyes, she stood up. "Okay, that's enough of that. I'm going to see if they've opened up my street yet."
She was fumbling with her phone.
"Wait," I said, feeling the tide of desperation rise again. "Jenna, please - I know I've been...flip about this. Hell, I'm flip about most things. But it's serious. Whatever you need to feel comfortable, I'll do it. Just...please, think about it."
I hated being in a position of weakness. Daria had proved how badly I could allow myself to be taken advantage of, when that happened. But something about Jenna made it hard to play it cool. I knew I had the upper hand in a lot of ways - I could offer her money, and security, and a lot of things she wouldn't have otherwise. A job sitting for the Thornes was a pretty sweet gig, but it wasn't going to last forever. I was offering her an actor's dream: enough money to live on while she searched for that one role that would make her a star.
All the same, she always had the power to walk away. And that terrified me.
She looked at me with an expression that bordered on pity. I hated that, but not as much as I hated the idea of her leaving.
"It hasn't been that long," I said, in a more quiet, even tone. "Your street's gotta be closed still. Just stay for a little while longer. We don't have to talk about it anymore. We'll play cards."
Her mouth twisted slightly, with something like amusement. "You want to play cards?"
"Come on." I smiled back at her. "I know there's some tiny part of you that doesn't hate me. Try and tap into that, just for long enough to enjoy a couple hands of strip poker."
God damn it, I really didn't know when to stop.
"I'm kidding," I said, quickly. "I mean, unless you have a pressing desire to get naked."
Thankfully, she grinned. "I think you caught me on the wrong day for that."
Chapter Nine
Jenna
As it turned out, Ben had a whole poker set, complete with fancy chips and a crisp deck of cards that looked completely untouched.
I won the first two hands, through pure luck, of course. Although I always did have a pretty good poker face. And to be fair, Ben was probably a little bit distracted.
Why the hell was I still here?
Well, he was right. There was some not-so-tiny corner of my mind that didn't hate him. Hell, until recently, I'd actually been hoping he would ask me out on a date. Now that possibility seemed to have flown out the window, but I had to admit, I kind of enjoyed the flirtation. It wasn't entirely unpleasant to think about kissing him. Or kissing him, for that matter.
I felt slightly off-balance, the strangeness of the day, of the situation, taking a firm hold on me. It was a bit like being drunk, except there was an extreme sense of clarity. I'd started the day with a bold decision, and I hadn't allowed myself to think twice. It hadn't ended well, but that didn't stop the strange head-rush. It was addictive. Full speed ahead, and damn the consequences. Was this how people like Ben lived all the time? Knowing there would always be some kind of cushion to catch them if they fell?
"I feel like I have an unfair advantage," I said, throwing down my cards.
He nodded, that rakish grin showing only a hint of the nerves he must feel. "You do," he said. "But I was going to be a gentleman about it."
"I'm leaning towards yes," I confessed. "But I'm reserving the right to change my mind, if anything seems off."
His eyes were shining with hopefulness, and anticipation. "What do you mean, 'off?'"
"I mean, if it turns out you were lying about anything you told me. The reasons why you need to do this. I don't particularly care why, but if I can't trust you, then I can't do this. It goes both ways."